


A Different Life

by suluismyspirit



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mild Language, Pack Dynamics, Past Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Trust Issues, mildly explicit language?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2018-11-05 09:12:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 73
Words: 123,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suluismyspirit/pseuds/suluismyspirit
Summary: The fic in which Sulu finds out the hard way that no matter how many laws change, sometimes people don’t.





	1. Prologue

****

##  **Prologue**

November 3, 2194 saw the final law suppressing Omega rights repealed. Ever since having been founded in 2161, the Federation had been fighting for the Omega’s rights to equality. While many of the more restrictive laws were relatively simple to overturn, many were held up for years, Alpha rights activists wanting to maintain the power they’d held for centuries.

Slowly, laws were put in place protecting Omega’s, giving them the ability to come forward and gain protection from those that desired to take advantage of them. These laws gave Omega’s the chance to live their lives not needing to be afraid or hide who they were.

Historically, Omega’s were assumed to be weak and stupid, useful for little more breeding and staying home with the family. Those that showed talent or skills were ruthlessly quieted, one way or another. As humanity evolved, those assumptions changed. The majority of the population accepted that Omega’s were people as well, possessing their own individual personalities and talents that were separate from their secondary gender.

Not everyone was so willing to acclimate to this new attitude, there is never complete unanimity among humans after all, but it was enough to put laws in place protecting Omega’s and giving them the freedom they’d long been denied. Overall, the three designations worked and lived harmoniously with each other, though a person’s secondary role generally played some part in their career paths.

Alpha’s normally held positions of higher power. An Alpha’s personality tended to lean more toward protective, dominant, aggressive, or the like. In the Federation, if an Alpha was on a starship, it was unusually for them _not_ to be the captain. Their instincts led them to be dominant, protective of those they considered pack. Their biology hardwired them to desire Omegas; an Alpha could pick up the scent of one from a great distance, and having one in their pack gave them a sense of completion.

Beta’s were the most abundant designation, making up over 70% of the population. By nature, they were more easy going than an Alpha, hardier than an Omega, and missing the dominant/submissive instincts of the other two, Beta’s kept the world running smoothly. Many bragged that without them, the universe would never have gotten past the dark ages were instinct ruled all. Their senses were less acute than an Alpha or Omega, and they were not ruled quite as much by their instincts.

Omega’s were rare, coveted by Alpha’s to round out their pack. Having an Omega in a pack cemented the bonds between members, bringing them closer together. Even Beta's felt the difference with an Omega in the pack. Omega’s were more fertile, generally seen as better at raising a family, and were naturally submissive, especially to Alphas. Though not impossible for an Omega to stand up to, or defy, an Alpha’s orders, it took an extreme amount of willpower for them to do so.

Omega’s needed an Alpha to balance out their hormones, though in some cases a Beta would be able to achieve the same results, by assisting them in getting to a ‘head space’. This need is what prompted the Federation to begin the practice of pairing Omega and Alpha in the event an Omega joined Starfleet. There were not a great number of Alphas in the population, but there were fewer Omega’s, and even less that decided space exploration was their preferred choice of careers. This made finding a suitable Alpha to take care of the Omega fairly easy.

However, even with the new laws protecting Omega rights, there was still an underlying bias.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I both love and hate this story that I am writing. It's a weird place to be.  
> This chapter obviously just sets up the universe, and doesn't even do that in much detail, but there you go.  
> Tags will be added/changed as time goes on I'm sure.


	2. Settling In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic, Sulu is Asexual. And by that I mean my understanding of the term. So, don't scream at me if I get something wrong, okay? I don't mean any offense to anyone.  
> Also, looking at most A/B/O fics, that's weird for an omega. But deal with it, it’s my world, my fic, I do what I want.

The USS Indiana was a *Freedom-class ship, not exactly top of the line for Starfleet, but Hikaru Sulu was simply delighted that he’d landed the posting of pilot _and_ had his best friend from the academy with him. Pavel Chekov, Russian wiz kid extraordinaire, fifteen years old with the rank of crewman 1st class. Sulu had already made ensign, though he figured the only reason Chekov hadn’t was due to his age.

The kid was a solid Beta, which surprised Sulu a bit, considering the confidence and determination Chekov had. He’d have though him an Alpha going by his personality, sure an easy going, laid-back one, but an Alpha none the less. Sulu’s nose didn’t lie though, and neither did his Omega instinct.

But at least that took any potential tension out of their relationship.

Their relationship was entirely platonic. Sulu considered Chekov to be more like a little brother than anything else, and was constantly pleased and honored by the way Pav looked up to him. Being completely a-sexual and having no interest in starting his own family, it was the closest Hikaru figured he’d come to having a pack. Most Alpha’s tended to want more than just scent marking and cuddles to initiate that kind of bond.

Not that he really had that much experience in what an Alpha wanted. Sulu’d had an Alpha assigned to him during his time at Starfleet Academy. The guy had been somewhat distant, Hikaru was pretty sure he hadn’t been the only Omega the Alpha was taking care of, but he’d done a good job taking Sulu down. He’d respected Hikaru’s boundaries and it had all worked out, even if the man hadn’t been too liberal with praise and touch. Over all, it had been a good experience given that was the first Alpha that Sulu’d had any dealings with on such a personal level.

He’d yet to meet the Alpha he’d been assigned to here, it’d only been a few days since they’d started their post, and Sulu expected things to work out roughly the same.

He and Chekov were currently on duty, both of them at their stations as the Indiana orbited lazily around the green giant, taking readings of the geologic phenomenon going on down below the surface. Neither of them knew too much of what it was, but the majority of the vessel was occupied by scientists, so somebody knew what they were doing at least.

Sulu was content just to keep the ship’s orbit stable and whisper comments and jokes to Chekov when the captain’s attention was elsewhere. The captain, now there was something that had thrown Sulu for a loop when he’d gotten on board. The captain was Beta. Sure, gruff as anything and he put up with no nonsense, but Beta all the same. It wasn’t that Beta’s weren’t captains, there were many in the fleet, just they normally didn’t have a Beta Captain with an Alpha crewmember on board. Still, this was Starfleet, leader in progressive action and all that, so Sulu didn't question it.

By the time Chekov and Sulu’s replacements made it to the bridge, Chekov was having a hard time holding back his laughter. Sulu grinned smugly, Chekov’s face was so red it nearly matched his hair. The captain was giving them both a stern look, and Sulu relinquished his seat to the Lt. when she walked over, dragging Pav out the door before he could lose his composure.

“Ve hawe only been here a few days and already you are trying to get me in trouble!” Chekov complained, though it was hard to take him too seriously as the statement was inter-spaced with laughter.

“Come on Pav, I wouldn’t let you take the fall.” Sulu assured him, hooking one arm around Chekov’s shoulder and leading the way down the corridor. “At the very least, I’da created a diversion, saved ya from getting written up.”

“My hero.” Chekov grinned, shaking his head. Typical Karu, the more excited he was, the more mischief he managed to get them into. He couldn’t fault his friend however, he was just as excited. Even if this was mainly a science vessel, they were on a starship!

Sulu chuckled, arm dropping from Chekov’s shoulder so he could elbow the kid gently.

Chekov laughed, skipping away a step.

“So, hawe you met him yet?” Chekov asked, stepping onto the turbolift with Sulu, pressing the button for the deck his room was located. There wasn’t much to do on the ship when they were off duty, the only place to hang out was the mess hall, so they just stuck to trading up which of their rooms they went to.

“Not yet.” Sulu answered, shaking his head slightly. “I think I saw him yesterday, smelled Alpha anyway, so I’m certain he’s one of the scientists working on that anomaly on the planet. But that’s about it.”  
Chekov nodded, taking Sulu’s word for that. Like most Beta’s he couldn’t pick out a person’s designation by scent. “Is zhere a time you hawe to go meet him?”

“Nope.” Sulu replied, exiting the lift as it came to a stop and the doors opened. “Haven’t heard from him yet, and I don’t want to bug him when there’s so much work going on right now.”

Chekov frowned at him slightly. “I don’t zhink he would consider it bugging him. I mean, zhis is somezhing he had to agree to do, yes?”

Sulu shrugged. “Yeah, but still.”

“Karu…”

“I’m fine, Pav, promise.” Sulu assured him. He knew Chekov was just worried, it could be uncomfortable bordering on painful to go too long without being taken down, leaving the Omega strung out. “You’d be the first to know if I wasn’t, and I’d go ask for help way before then anyway.”

“Good.” Chekov nodded, resolutely. He had no intention of seeing his friend in any sort of discomfort.

When they entered Chekov’s quarters a few minutes later, Sulu immediately went to find a movie to watch. He didn’t have any reports he needed to file, and neither did Chekov, so cuddling up with a movie sounded delightful. He might not need an Alpha right now, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want some closeness.

A few minutes later and the two of them were curled closely together, watching an old children’s cartoon movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Freedom-class = It’s the same type of ship as the Kelvin from the first movie  
> Another chapter that's been a lot of set up and way too much describing things. But, hey, I gave you a bit of fluff in this chapter.


	3. Off Balance

Two weeks in and Sulu still hadn’t heard anything from the Alpha he was assigned to. He’d sent the man a message, because even with as small as the ship was it was still somehow impossible to pin the man down to speak to him in person, but he’d gotten no response.

He tried to keep himself under control, spending his time off curled up next to Chekov helped a lot, but it was getting to a point that even some of the other crew were noticing. Beta’s, while not quite as in tune with the undercurrent of Omega emotions as Alphas, could sense when things weren’t quite right. In a pack, it set things off balance. For this crew, Sulu just got a few odd looks.

Oddly enough, the chief medic didn’t mention anything about it when he went to medbay for his checkup. Sulu wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind to take too much note about it, but it did strike him as a little odd.

He was almost willing to scour the ship, beg any crew to just point him to where the Alpha was, when he received a message telling him to show up at Lt. Jameson’s quarters at 0700. _Finally_ , he thought, recognizing the name as the Alpha. He’d never gone this long without going down before, and the experience was not exactly pleasant.

Hikaru had the day off and spent it in Chekov’s room, curled around one of the Beta’s pillows. Chekov had been recruited to help with the analysis of some special anomaly they’d run across the other day or he’d have been curled around him. The pillow didn’t help all that much, but it beat pacing or staring at the time while rocking back and forth.

By the time he was standing in front of Jameson’s room, he was so wound up he couldn’t stand still. He activated the chime, bouncing restlessly for what felt like forever before he was called inside.  
Sulu walked into the Alpha’s quarters as the doors opened, looking around curiously. Jameson frowned over at him, looking him up and down briefly before heading over.

“Hey, Jameson, I’m Su-“

He was cut off as Jameson strode over, backhanding him and sending him stumbling and falling to one knee. Sulu blinked in shock, looking up at a glowering Alpha. Jameson moved closer, grabbing Sulu by the hair and pulling forward, Hikaru still on his knees.

“You think just because I let a Beta captain give me orders you can just waltz in here and disrespect me?” Jameson snapped at him, shaking him and causing Sulu to wince in pain.

“Sorry, James-“ Sulu stopped short, eyes dropping instinctively as Jameson snarled, shaking him again.

Hikaru didn’t know what was going on, at all. Jameson shifted his grip, grabbing Sulu by the collar and dragging up to his feet. “Stupid, f-ing Omega, what do they even teach you now days.” He ranted, pulling Sulu towards the living area. “Disrespectful little..”

“Jam-“

Jameson turned to hit Sulu again, the Alpha’s hand on his collar the only thing keeping the pilot standing. “You address me as Sir, or Alpha, you understand?”

Sulu blinked, eyeing the Alpha, his heart racing. “I…” He trailed off as Jameson growled, fist twisting in Sulu’s shirt. “Yes, Sir.” He answered, head spinning as he licked a bit of blood from his lip. This… this was so different from what he’d been led to expect.

Even in grade school level courses they taught about the roles of each designation. In high school, they taught on the more intimate aspects of the Alpha/Omega relationships, but they always, _always_ , started off with the expression that both partners spoke about what it is they wanted.

Whatever was going on here, Sulu knew it wasn’t what he’d been taught since presenting. But…

There was often a difference between what was taught in schools, and what actually happened in the real world. Lt. Jameson was a well decorated officer who’d been serving in Starfleet for many years. It stood to reason he’d had Omega’s assigned to him before, and if something unusual had been occurring, it would have been reported.

Maybe it was just him? Maybe there was a standard for how these sessions were conducted, and Jameson had expected Sulu to know.

“You come when I call you and you _don’t_ harass me with messages. You’re here to make sure this pack runs smoothly, which means making the resident Alpha happy. It’s what Omega’s are for.” Jameson snapped, turning Sulu and pushing him toward the sofa with a barked order. “Shirt off.”

Sulu balked at that order, feeling a tightness in his chest as he shook his head. He’d never outright told an Alpha no, never had a reason to do so, and the feeling was uncomfortable to say the least. “I don’t-“

Jameson cut him off with a low growl, clamping a hand on the back of Sulu's neck and squeezing. The Alpha’s voice dropped lower, tone full off command as he pushed Sulu downward. “Down, Omega. Be quiet.” Sulu bowed his head slightly at the pressure, knees folding under him, his mind drifting in a fog. He hadn’t expected to fall like that, and the juxtaposition of being down and having his heart racing with adrenaline put him off balance.

He was keenly aware of the anger coming from the Alpha, of the tight hold the man had on the back of his neck. Sulu’s instincts demanded he appease the man, and he couldn’t stop himself from obeying the most recent commands. He didn’t move to rise from where he knelt in front of Jameson, staying silent and waiting, heart pounding but still wanting to please the Alpha.

Jameson leaned down close to Sulu, keeping his grip on the Omega. “Take your shirt off, turn around and put your hands on the table.” He demanded, lacing his tone with as much Alpha command and authority as he could. He felt Sulu shudder slightly under his hand, but didn’t release him until the pilot made a move to follow the orders.

Sulu dropped his shirt under him as he obeyed, shivering once thought it wasn’t that cold. He felt vulnerable and exposed, and not at all the safe comfortable feeling he was used to from every other session he’d had with the Alpha back at the academy. He couldn’t stop himself from obeying though, not when Jameson used that tone.

Hearing a noise, Sulu couldn’t help but glance back, stomach tightening as the sight of Jameson folding a belt. A second later however, Jameson’s hand was on his head, shoving him down so that he was leaning forward, head near touching the coffee table his hands were on. “Why can’t you just be good, and listen?” Jameson growled, the touch and hint of the possibility of pleasing the man sending Sulu further into that fog.

Jameson straightened, expression twisted in anger and irritation. “I can’t believe I have to train another stupid, ignorant Omega. Maybe this will teach you not to presume you can tell me when we need to meet, not to have such a disrespectful attitude coming into _my_ territory. Count.”

Sulu tried, but it was hard to listen through the fog and the fear. He caught enough to realize he’d done something wrong and the knowledge that the Alpha was angry at him was almost enough to have him whining out another apology. But Alpha was still speaking, and Alpha wanted him to listen, so his did, catching the last order. He didn’t have to wait long to find out what Alpha meant, as a second later it felt like fire across his back, and he yelped in pain and surprise.

Sulu clenched his teeth at angry sound Alpha made, flinching at the sharp rebuke. “Good Omega’s can take their punishment without whining and crying about it, now count!”

By the time Jameson had finished, Sulu couldn’t stop shaking, his jaw aching from where he’d had to clench his teeth with each strike so not to cry out. His mind was blank, focusing solely on the orders to take it quietly and count, waiting for the next blow. He couldn’t stop the short yelp of surprise as the Alpha grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling him back and around to lean against the man’s leg.

Sulu flinched lightly as Alpha patted his head, not sure how to take the sudden shift in mood. The scent of anger was gone now, though Sulu wasn’t sure whether or not he should attribute that to something he’d done, and Alpha was speaking in a much softer tone.

“See, you can be taught. Bit smarter than some of the bitches I’ve had to deal with before. But we’ll get you trained up properly. Can’t have you making Starfleet look bad, can we?”

Sulu blinked slowly, pressing against Jameson’s leg in some attempt to gain some sort of comfort. So, he had done something right. He could feel his heart rate slowing down some at the gentler touch, though the hands petting his head were still too rough for his taste.

The moment didn’t last long, Sulu near falling as the Alpha stepped away from him. “Get your shirt back on and go.” He ordered curtly, turning and moving away. Hikaru’s hands automatically moved to pick up the discarded uniform, tugging it over his head dully at he watched Jameson. The Alpha was completely ignoring him, acting like he wasn’t even there.

It stung, stupidly enough, to be ignored like that. The little bit of aftercare wasn’t enough to settle him and he still felt jittery and shaky after the Alpha’s anger. It took him a moment, but by the time he managed to stand up and leave the man’s quarters, Sulu managed stop thinking in terms of Alpha to call him Jameson. Pulling himself completely from the fog his mind had become was a bit longer of a process, and Hikaru was sure he caught more than one odd look on his way to his room.

He didn’t bother turning the lights on in his quarters, just made his way dully to his bed, curling up with some blankets in the dark. He was shaking with the crash of adrenaline and the drop following a bad scene, turning the evening over in his mind.

No, it had not gone as expected, but it was something he had done wrong. Jameson had made that clear enough. The man was obviously well experienced and, brief as it might have been, he _had_ shown that gentler touch that Sulu craved from an Alpha. In Sulu’s mind, considering the beating that had proceeded it, the gentleness was every bit as nice as what he’d had during the academy.

If he could just do things right, be a good Omega, then he wouldn’t have to deal with the punishment part again. On some level, he knew that that was such an archaic thought, but then again, this wasn’t some professional thing he could ask for training or advice on. This was a personal relationship. True, it was one that he needed to have in order to stay healthy, but that didn’t really help in the area of making sure he followed all the rules.

Sulu drew in a deep breath, letting out slowly as he tried to relax. His back still ached and the tension wasn’t helping. He had a short thought of going to sickbay, but he was stupidly embarrassed to do so, have his failure broadcast like that. Instead, he closed his eyes, trying to get some mediocre amount of rest before his shift started the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not very good at writing this type of thing on my own. I sat and stared at the screen for way too long before deciding to post it.  
> Anyway...  
> I'll just shuffle along and cringe my way through writing the next chapter.


	4. Time and Lies

The next few weeks went the same. He reported to Jameson’s quarters when he was instructed and the Alpha attempted to teach him “how to be a proper Omega.” The Alpha always seemed to be angry when Sulu arrived. It was always something. He was being disrespectful, he’d done something incorrectly during his shift, he was late, he was early, he’d made a mistake on a report. Sulu would have thought there was _nothing_ he could do to please the Alpha, but most of the time, if he was good enough during the punishment, Jameson would be gentler. He’d pet him sometimes, tell him he was good before making him leave. It was enough to cement in Sulu’s mind that _he_ was the problem. _He_ was doing something wrong.

One night, near a month later, Sulu went to sickbay after the session. Jameson had been particularly upset, and Hikaru was limping and sported a cut on one cheek. He didn’t usually go to sickbay, sore muscles and bruises were tolerable and preferable to admitting he couldn’t do this relationship right.

Sickbay wasn’t exceptionally busy when he arrived, but even the few people in there were enough to keep the doctor and nurses busy. He stood to the side to wait, watching the medical crew work as he waited his turn. He debated in himself once again seeking advice on this whole Omega/Alpha thing. Doctors knew enough about the human body to give him some insight, even if none of them were well versed in psychology. It twisted his stomach in knots with unease at the thought of broaching the topic, but things really weren’t going well with Jameson. Chekov had been asking questions, and for all that Sulu trusted and loved the kid, he couldn’t bring himself to burden him with this.

Hikaru continued the debate within himself as the nurse led him over to the CMO. The doctor set to work poking and prodding, then mending the cut and pulled muscle. Sulu’s brow furrowed slightly, confused as to why the man didn’t so much as question what had happened. He let that go for the moment, deciding to take the opportunity to try and ask about the way that his relationship with Jameson was going while he had the courage. He’d barely gotten into the question when the doctor cut him off, giving him much the same explanation as he’d gotten when he’d even begun to broach this topic with the captain.

“Look, Sulu, Jameson is a good officer, and a good Alpha. What you two do together is separate from your duties, so don’t go mixing me up in it. Alpha’s and Omega’s work this out between themselves. It’s no one else’s business. Beta’s don’t like being pulled in the middle. Understand?”

Sulu frowned at the explanation. “Sorry, I’m not trying to drag you into anything doc, I just-“

“Ensign.” The CMO snipped, stepping back as he finished his work. “Let’s keep this _professional_ , do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” The words fell from his mouth without thought. Sulu dropped his gaze automatically, surprising himself at the reaction. He glanced up at the doctor a moment later, noting the irate expression and guessing it had to do with the use of the term ‘doc’.

The CMO frowned at him for another moment, then turned to put away his tools. “I’m done, you are dismissed.”

Hikaru stood up, completely at a loss. He hadn’t meant to insult the man. He had an uneasy feeling this was going to come back and bite him, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it at this point. The CMO had already dismissed him, and considering how upset he’d gotten at even the smallest hint of familiarity, Sulu couldn’t imagine his reaction to ignoring orders. So, he left.

If nothing else, Sulu had gotten one main point. Neither the captain, nor the CMO, wanted anything to do with the dynamics between their resident Alpha and Omega. The captain didn’t care so long as Jameson’s dominant tendencies were reigned in, which translated for Sulu as ‘taken out on him’, and the CMO just plain didn’t care.

Unsettled, Hikaru made his way to Chekov’s room, activating the door chime and shifting slightly as he waited. It was late and Pav was probably sleeping, but he really couldn’t handle the thought of being alone with his thoughts right now. It took an extra moment for Chekov to answer, and for a moment Sulu was afraid his friend might be mad this time. Chekov greeted him with the usual smile, however, and Sulu relaxed quickly.

“Hey Pav. Sorry, guess I shoulda checked the time.” Hikaru apologized, giving him a crooked smile.

Chekov just shook his head, tousled curls bouncing slightly. “You probably did and zhought, oh let’s see vhat Chekov is up to.” He teased, waving Sulu in and going back to flop onto his bed. He felt a bit guilty a moment later when he heard a nervous chuckle from Sulu. He looked over at Karu, smiling and speaking up once more before his friend could apologize again. “Zhe answer vould be, nozhing. I am glad you hawe come to rescue me from boredom.”

Sulu laughed for real at that comment, tension bleeding from his shoulders, recognizing it as something he’d said many times at the academy to Chekov. He felt a little ridiculous for having been nervous, moving over to lay beside Chekov when the Russian scooted over and patted the bed. Pavel scooted close once Hikaru had gotten comfortable, laying his head carefully on his friend’s shoulder. “You are up late.” He pointed out, tone lilting up slightly and making the statement more of a question.

Sulu just nodded, he couldn’t shrug without dislodging Chekov, and didn’t elaborate on why. He tried to keep all of the stuff about Jameson from Chekov. He didn’t want to worry his best friend when he knew that there was nothing Pav could do. Besides, both the captain and CMO had made it crystal clear that Beta’s didn’t want to get involved in this sort of thing. Yeah, he knew Chekov would, did want to know. The little Russian would do anything to help him he was sure. But Pav was just a kid and so early in his Starfleet career. Hikaru wasn’t going to let the only person he’d ever considered Pack do anything that might hurt their future.

Sulu was glad when Chekov didn’t press, more and more Pav had stopped asking about things like this. Hikaru could understand, no one liked being lied to. He knew Pav had never really believed him, had been made painfully aware of that disbelief one night a week or so ago. Jameson had called him to his quarters in a rage, furious that he was going behind his back and complaining to a pup Beta. Sulu had tried harder after that to act his normal old self with Chekov. He didn’t want the kid to go to the CMO, Captain, or whoever it was he’d talked to again.

He didn’t want Pav getting pulled into whatever his issue was. He played off the little reactions he couldn’t suppress, spewing reassurances every time that Chekov asked if he was okay. Sometimes he couldn’t help himself though. Every once in a while, after a rough session with Jameson, Sulu would find himself in Chekov’s room. Sometimes he was alone and able to slip back to his own quarters, but sometimes he came to himself with Pav wrapped around him, speaking Russian in a way that made Sulu think he was retelling some child’s story.

Nights like these were the best though, when he was lucid enough to really appreciate the feeling of Pack next him, when he was relatively pain free and cheerfully joking with his best friend.


	5. Abandoned

It had been three months since Hikaru had begun seeing Jameson as his Alpha. Three months of constant bruises hiding under his uniform, of lying to Chekov about how things were going. The CMO didn’t care, and the Captain didn’t care, that much was obvious. Though, if Sulu really thought about it, the CMO did care, but not in the sense that helped him at all. After that one time he’d tried asking the man for advice, it seemed the doctor had decided the Omega needed closer watching. More than once, Sulu had been corrected for things the doctor had spoken to Jameson about. The first and most painful being that one night two months ago, when he’d asked the doctor, or tried to ask, about the dynamic between himself and Alpha. Jameson had been beyond pissed to hear that _his_ Omega was being disrespectful to his superiors.

That was the night Sulu had discovered just how possessive Jameson could be, how possessive he already was. That night he’d been eternally grateful that Beta’s didn’t have the same sense of smell as an Alpha or Omega. All he had been able to smell, once he’d been tossed out and sent to his own quarters, was the scent of fear and sex. His throat and jaw ached, and he couldn’t stop shaking. That night had been the worst. He was afraid to go to Chekov, for all his friend would be able to help calm him, because he’d _know_ and do something that would get himself hurt.

For weeks after, Sulu had been subdued, perhaps overly submissive to even the Beta’s. Jameson hadn’t repeated that particular punishment, had even been pleased with him a few evenings. Hikaru got the picture, making sure to use respectful titles, or even the rank, of those in higher position than himself.

He made certain to keep Chekov in the dark about what went on between himself and his Alpha. Pavel couldn’t help and Sulu didn’t want him hurt. The only thing he could do was offer Hikaru comfort and a safe bit of human contact.

He was headed to Chekov’s room, having just been allowed to leave his Alpha, and was desperately wanting something to cheer him up, let him forget about the soreness. His friend was always willing, delighted even, to help. Now that he didn’t have to worry about lying to questions, Hikaru was more willing to seek out that help.

Sulu walked into Chekov’s quarters, head tilting as he took in the dim lights. Chekov was there, sitting in the near dark room, curled up on the bed. “Pav?” He inquired, walking towards him. His own pain forgotten for the moment, more concerned about his friend.

“Karu.” Chekov looked up at him, eyes a little red, tear stains still on his cheeks.

“Pav, what happened? What’s wrong?” Sulu asked, moving over as quickly as he could to sit on the bed beside his friend.

“I hawe been transferred.” Chekov said, voice miserable. “I am scheduled to leave tomorrow, zhey are sending me to zhe Enterprise.”

Sulu blinked, feeling an aching panic that Chekov would be leaving him here alone. But, the Enterprise. That was the Federation’s new flag ship, a posting there… It was great news for Chekov. He would be among the best Starfleet had to offer. It meant he _was_ the best Starfleet had to offer. Sulu shifted closer to Chekov, forcing a smile and nudging the Russian slightly.

“Hey, that’s great. The Federation’s flag ship? That’s… that’s a really great honor.” He tried to put as much cheer as he could muster into the words, but they felt hollow. Tomorrow. That was so sudden, why hadn’t they informed Chekov earlier?

“But.. I deedn’t vant to go vithout you.” Chekov shook his head, accent thickening in his distress. He didn’t want to leave Sulu here, didn’t want to leave him at all, but especially not here. They were just a Beta and Omega, but Sulu still felt like pack. It hurt just thinking about leaving him, but… Sulu never complained, he never said, but Chekov could tell his friend wasn’t having an easy time here on the Indiana. But Starfleet hardly ever reassigned an Omega once they’d been assigned an Alpha.

“Pav, you have to. It’s the _Enterprise_.” Sulu smiled, tilting his head to look in Chekov’s eyes. “Come on. Just think, you’ll be on the best ship Starfleet’s got, and you can write me and call me anytime and tell me all about it.”

Chekov sniffled, still unhappy. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice though. The captain had told him he was leaving tomorrow. Short of mutiny, there was little he could do to change that. He might be able to transfer back from the Enterprise, but that request would take some time to go through. Not to mention Sulu would probably be upset with him, though to be there for his friend, Chekov would be willing to deal with that. He nodded though, agreeing with Sulu. He’d go. But he wasn’t going to be happy about it.

“I’m glad you see it my way.” Sulu chuckled, trying to keep the smile in place. Pav was leaving tomorrow. He was quiet for a moment, eyes dropping to study the bed. “Could… Do you mind if we just, hang out?” He asked, glancing up at Chekov.

Pav gave him a watery smile, understanding what he meant. He scooted himself to the top of the bed, settling in a sitting position. Sulu followed suit, curling up as close as he could to Chekov, wrapping the younger man in a tight hug.

Chekov held onto Sulu as well, though not as tightly, knowing what Sulu hid under his uniform. He didn’t want to add any discomfort. Instead, he did his best to curl his smaller frame around the pilot, running his hands through Sulu’s hair and muttering to him in Russian. As usual, Sulu tensed at first, gradually relaxing into Chekov.

Pavel wanted to cry again as Sulu burrowing into him, though he managed to hold back. He kissed the top of Sulu’s head, letting the man drift against him though he knew it wasn’t enough. It never was.   
He needed to be strong for Sulu, he could cry later.

Over the months, after Chekov had left, Sulu stayed in contact with his friend, speaking over video call often. After a while, however, it became more difficult for Sulu to maintain appearances. Jameson was the same as ever, that never changed, but without Chekov there to provide support, Sulu felt near overwhelmed. He hadn’t realized just how much he relied upon the Russian to keep himself in some sort of balance.

He didn’t want to worry his friend, convinced that it would do no good and nothing would change, so he began ‘missing’ calls. He still listened to the message, and send his own back, he just didn’t speak with Chekov live. It hurt, but it was necessary. The Captain and CMO here on the Indiana had made it abundantly clear that the situation with Jameson was between the Alpha and Omega, and no one was going to interfere. Jameson’s own words and actions reinforced that assurance. Sulu couldn’t help feeling that it was his own fault in any case. If he was better, Jameson wouldn’t be so upset with him all the time.

Still, even if he couldn’t speak in person with Pavel or curl up next to him for some contact that did not end up in pain, Sulu often listened to the Beta’s messages over and over. Sometimes, he could pretend Chekov was actually there, and it was like it used to be, the kid’s excited description of the Enterprise life lulling him to sleep.

He almost got used to this as his life, had all but come to terms with it and learned how to make it work, when things changed.


	6. Bonded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING** :There is a bit of roughness in this chapter, little non-con.  
> So, I'll put a little line so you can skip it if you want. If you want to skip it, when you get to the line, just stop reading, go to the next chapter. (Soon as that chapter is posted I mean.)

The Indiana was docked, scheduled to remain at the station for the next four days to resupply. Sulu hadn’t made many friends on the ship, most of the Beta’s had been scared off by Jameson and any who weren’t were friends with the Alpha (and he had _no_ desire to spend time with them), so he didn’t have anyone to explore the station with.

Jameson had been in a good enough mood the past few days that Sulu wasn’t too sore or off balance to wander on his own. The base was Federation controlled, though of course there were plenty of individuals from other races present. As was usual when dealing with space travel, Hikaru didn’t run across any Omega scent. He picked up a couple Alphas, but never got close enough to see them. For the most part, he just enjoyed the relative stress free air of the station, chatting up some Beta’s from the Starfleet exploration vessel that was also resupplying.

He was at a bar, not drinking alcohol because he knew better than to get intoxicated when he might be summoned to see his Alpha at any time, when he met Smith. The man was all charm and class, smiling cheerfully when his friend introduced him to Sulu. It was almost surreal how different this Alpha acted when compared to Jameson. Hikaru smiled back at him, only feeling slightly nervous as he shook the proffered hand.

A part of him knew that this was a mistake, Jameson sometimes got agitated if he saw Sulu being to friendly with the Beta crew, but he couldn’t help himself. He was the center of attention here, probably wouldn’t have been able to leave even if he’d wanted to. Smith’s little pack, those crew close enough to him that they’d formed that bond, had never seen an Omega in person before, and neither had the captain apparently. It was an odd feeling, being surrounded by people that worked and blended so seamlessly with each other.

Sulu wasn’t quite as enamored with the Smith as the Alpha was with him, gently rejecting any overtures the man made on him. Smith didn’t react negatively to the refusal, but he didn’t back off either. Hikaru laughed along uneasily as Smith joked with his friends, taking Sulu’s answer as a challenge rather than a refusal. He wasn’t overly push, nor demanding, like Jameson had been, would have been, but Sulu still found the man’s actions and personality disconcerting.

By the time Sulu was able to get away, he absolutely reeked of the other Alpha, the man had become more handsy the more he drank.

Hikaru just wanted to go back to his quarters to shower and sleep. If he were completely honest with himself, he was more than a little disappointed. Smith had a bit of different personality, didn’t appear to be so rough, but he was essentially the same as Jameson. Probably would expect the same things of him if he were the one Sulu were assigned to. And to Sulu, mentally exhausted after having to refuse an Alpha over and over, it made a certain sense.

Of course Jameson wasn’t some exception. Going by the way Smith had acted, how his colleagues and Pack had rallied around him, this was just the way Alpha’s acted. It was somewhat contrary to many of the things he’d learned growing up, but not so backwards that he’d say it was illegal. Just…. Dominant. A natural state of an Alpha that Starfleet apparently had no issue with. There had to be something wrong with him not to enjoy it, fall into the place he was supposed to.

Hikaru’s thoughts carried him through the walk to his quarters, and the task of showering and changing. He had just begun to climb into his bed when he received a message from Jameson, summoning him to the Alpha’s room. Sulu hesitated briefly, looking at the message as he debated which would be worse: showing up in his pajamas, or showing up late. Either option was sure to lead to some sort of punishment, but he was going to have to pick between the two.

Sulu let out a little curse, hurrying to find his uniform. Showing up in pajamas would probably be seen as being disrespectful. He had no desire to repeat that lesson. The mere memory of the taste and the scent, the feeling of being on his knees with harsh hands in his hair, was enough to have his stomach tightening in disgust. He’d take a beating for being late over that any day.

He was late, of course, heart beating too fast as he tried to calm down outside Jameson’s door. He took a steadying breath, trying to ground himself for all the good it would do him. He’d be drifting in a fog, some twisted attempt his genes forced him into in an attempt to gain some hormonal balance from the dominance the Alpha would undoubtedly display. He activated the chime on the door, entering once Jameson had called for him.

Everything about the room looked the same, but Sulu could swear it _felt_ different. He knelt the moment Jameson’s attention turned his way, eyes dropping down and to the side obediently. He had it down to an art form by now and rarely got punished for disrespecting his Alpha’s in the man’s territory. He heard Jameson take a step toward him, though stopped for some reason. Sulu tilted his head a fraction, confused and unsure what to make of this new development. He’d never known Jameson to be hesitant but he didn’t dare look up to check.

“Come here, Omega.”

Hikaru tried to breath evenly upon hearing those words, unease tightening his chest. The Alpha’s tone held an odd note in it, making the simple command sound almost threatening. This scene was already so different than how things normally began Sulu had a hard time not shaking as he moved to stand up. He froze at the angry growl from Jameson. “Did I say you could get up?!”

Sulu dropped back down to his knees instantly, flinching at the blatant fury in the words. He ducked his head, feeling his face heat in humiliation as he crawled forward on hands and knees. The moment he was within reach, Jameson reached down, grabbing Sulu by the throat and pulling him up to his knees once more. “I called you here nearly twenty minutes ago, and you decided what, you’d stop and take a shower?” Jameson growled, grabbing a fistful of Sulu’s still damp hair and yanking his head back sharply.

Hikaru suppressed a pained whine at the feeling, heart stuttering in fear. Jameson sounded angry, smelled furious, both of which he was used to, but seeing the cold fury in his eyes was terrifying. Hot rage was burned out quickly, yes painfully with a belt over Sulu’s back and shoulders, but was generally over quickly. This was different.

Jameson shoved him back, pointing toward the coffee table and barking out a sharp order to strip. Hikaru turned toward where Alpha had pointed, hands shaking as he began to peel off his clothing. It wasn’t the first time he’d been given that order, so he didn’t think too much of it. Jameson seemed keen on humiliating him as well, so that was probably his goal.

The belting that followed was worse than Sulu expected, Jameson moving to stand over Hikaru, shoving forward until his chest was pressed flat to the table before laying into him. The Alpha didn’t care this time if Sulu made any noise, which Hikaru was grateful for as he couldn’t have held back this time. He was choking back sobs as Alpha released him, his back, thighs, and buttocks felt like they were on fire and he was positive some on his back had broken the skin.

Sulu reached for his clothes by habit once Alpha dropped the belt, mind near blank as he tried to keep silent. A pathetic attempt to please his Alpha. Alpha’s scent still remained upset and angry, however, so Sulu knew he needed to get his clothes and start dressing as he was usually thrown out after Alpha tired of trying to correct him. He stopped as Alpha grabbed him by the hair again, jerking him up until his was standing.

“Leave it, you won’t need them just yet.” He snapped, pulling the still dazed pilot toward the bedroom.

 

 

***********************

 

 

Hikaru felt like his was swimming in a sea of thick smoke, his body burning with the sharp pain of Alpha’s anger. He didn’t register where Alpha was taking him until the feeling of hands traveling lower, touching and groping, pulled him from the daze him mind was in.

Sulu’s eyes widened, reaching to stop Alpha without thinking. “No, Alpha. I don’t…”

Alpha pushed him back, forcing Hikaru on to his back on the bed before climbing on top of him. “Of course you do.” He growled, using his weight to pin Sulu’s body, holding Sulu’s arms still by his side. “Little whore Omega, throwing yourself at the nearest Alpha. Yeah, Leo told me bout that.”

“No.” Sulu shook his head, trying to get his brain to work properly. To explain that wasn’t what had happened, wasn’t what he’d wanted. “It wasn’t like that.”

Hikaru’s heart dropped as Alpha shook his head, dismissing the protest and grinding against the Omega under him. “You know it was. You want this, I shoulda seen it earlier. How much of a good little bitch you were after I fucked your mouth.” He chuckled at the strangled noise Sulu made, the Omega arching up in a futile attempt to avoid Alpha’s intruding fingers. “You’re lucky you have such a fuckable body. I wouldn’t be so generous with any Omega. But we can’t have you flinging yourself at every Alpha you come across. You belong to me after all. What kind of message would that send about me? Huh?”

HIkaru tried to struggle, shaking his head to deny the words, but his head was still swimming, and when Alpha flipped him onto his stomach, pressing a hand into his back, he couldn’t stop the short cry of pain or the way his mind automatically drifted in response.

“You’re mine, and I think it’s about time we make it official. Bout time I get the perks of having an Omega anyway.” The Alpha whispered into Sulu’s ear, licking his way to the juncture on Sulu’s neck and shoulder. Sulu screamed as Jameson bit down hard, breaking the skin and thrusting in at the same time. The sound was drowned out as Alpha shoved his fingers into Sulu’s mouth, choking the Omega into silence.

“You’re my little bitch now.” Alpha growled, biting once more, and Sulu just whined softly in defeat. He knew what Alpha was doing, what he had done, could feel the Bond already forming between them. It hurt, more than just the feeling of Alpha ripping him apart, more than the burn from the welts forming on his back.

Sulu let himself drift, feeling but not really acknowledging what was happening to him at that moment. For all that he’d had nearly a year worth of experience going down, forcefully perhaps but still down, during pain, it was hard to do that now. Maybe it was the Bond, forcing Sulu to remain almost clear headed, though not enough to fight against Alpha's orders. Hikaru felt as if the night dragged on forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you love it? Do you hate it? Should I never write again? Let me know, please. *I might cry if you choose option three*  
> I do covet all the comments and Kudos you can muster. It gives me the courage to post more.


	7. Trapped in Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm paranoid and I don’t want to irritate or tick anyone off…  
> **Disclaimer: I would like to go ahead and say that I in no way am saying that what happened was Sulu’s fault. Victim blaming is wrong and no one is ever ‘asking for it’ when something happens. There is nothing weak or pathetic about a person who is raped. So just keep in mind that this is all just what Sulu is thinking, so yeah. There it is.**
> 
> **WARNING** : In this chapter lies another one of /those/ scenes, so mind the page break if you don’t want to read it.

It took two days before Jameson was satisfied. Two days until Sulu was allowed out of the Alpha quarters, sent on his was to his own room to clean up and prepare for his shifts. Sulu wasn’t sure what excuses, if any, Alpha had given the captain on his behalf. He limped his way to his room, clear headed enough to avoid any of the other crew, or at least as many as he could. He knew he looked like hell, clothes all disheveled from where he’d donned them hastily as Alpha had dragged him towards the door.

Everything hurt, especially his neck where Alpha had bitten him to initiate the Bond. It throbbed and burned, an unwelcome reminder that he was tied to the sick bastard. He winced slightly at that last thought, because it went against that rule of ‘respect’ and the Bond only amplified that innate desire of his to please and obey his Alpha.

He wanted to scream in fury. He felt so trapped, like there was nothing he could do. Maybe there wasn’t. He paused in the shower, looking down at the bruises and light tint of red running down the drain. He had one clue what he could do about this, though how to go about reporting it was another thing entirely. Maybe now the CMO would help. Alpha had gone so much further than Sulu could have imagined this time, forcing a Bond on him, ra-

He growled low in his throat, shaking his head, unwilling to use the word even in his own thoughts. It wasn’t _that_ , he wasn’t so weak and pathetic something like _that_ had happened to him. No, he’d been asking for it, looking for it just like Alpha had said, so it wasn’t something like _that_. A part of him knew that was wrong, completely backwards, but it was _Alpha_ , how could he be wrong?

Hikaru got out of the shower feeling no more clean than when he’d went in, but at least he was determined to try and do something about this whole shit fest now. He tossed some clothes on, heading to the medbay. When he got there, he requested a private meeting and examination with the CMO. He had to wait a while, but eventually the nurse led him over to the far side of the room, the CMO waiting there already.

“Ensign.” The man greeted him coldly, waving a hand toward to biobed for Sulu to sit on. “What seems to be the problem this time.”

It was more of a greeting than he usually got, which surprised Sulu. Normally the doctor didn’t ask what was wrong, just went about scanning and repairing his injuries. The change, Sulu realized, must have been because he’d specifically requested a private checkup. Though, considering the small size of the ship and medical area, private was a bit of a stretch.

“I know you don’t want to get involved with Alpha and myself’s relationship, Sir. But...” Sulu began, pushing on through the scowl forming on the CMO’s face. “J-Jameson forced a Bond.” He stated shortly, Alpha’s name being harder to speak than he would have like. That was almost as distressing as the realization that he’d started only thinking of the man in terms of Alpha rather than his name anymore.

The CMO snorted at that, picking up an instrument and running it over Sulu’s neck, setting the skin toward mending. “Don’t be ridiculous, that’s impossible. You can’t force a Bond, you’re just getting... I think they used to call it ‘cold feet’ back in the old days. An Omega has to be willing for the Bond to take effect. So you must have wanted it. I suppose you want some sort of congratulations?”

Sulu blinked, going quiet in a blank sort of shock. He wasn't here fishing for compliments or well wishes. Of… of course he hadn’t wanted to Bond with Alpha. Had he? No, he knew he hadn’t, had told Alpha not to. Besides, that didn’t make sense and he was sure that wasn’t what he’d learned back in school. He shook his head, brow furrowing in a near frown. “No, sir, that’s not… I didn’t want this. That’s not how it-“

“Are you suggesting that I’m incorrect?” The doctor interrupted, tone full of a quiet venom. “I have ten years of medical experience behind me and you have the basic knowledge the teach at the academy. And you think that you know better than I do?”

Sulu tensed, hands shaking slightly as he tried to fix this. “No, Sir. Sorry, Sir. I never meant to imply that.” He dropped his gaze, hoping and praying that the apology would be enough. If this got back to Alpha… It was already glaringly obvious this had been a bad idea, he was terrified at the prospect of a punishment on top of this already humiliating experience.

The CMO snorted again, finishing what he was doing and turning away to consult a chart. “You should be more careful with your words. Jameson is a fine officer, and a friend. An accusation like that…” He shook his head, then glanced over at Sulu. “I’ll let this go. You’re simply experiencing stress and nerves from the Bonding. I’m recommending an additional three days leave for the two of you. When you leave here, go straight to Lt. Jameson’s quarters. You’ll feel settled in no time.”

Sulu looked up at those words, missing the little satisfied smirk on the doctor’s face as the man turned away, too wrapped up in his own horrified surprise. That was so completely opposite what he’d come here for and he had no idea how to argue against it. The man had ten years’ experience, just like he’d pointed out, and contradicting him was just going to get back to Alpha and anger him. Sulu was out of people to go to. The CMO had already put in his report that they were happily Bonded, had made it apparent that this assessment would not be changed.

Sulu left sickbay feeling numb, his life was spiraling out of control and he’d never felt so helpless to stop it. He was Bonded to Alpha, the CMO though he was a liar or simply crazy (he wasn’t sure which, might be both), and the captain wanted nothing to do with any of it. The only thing he could control was where he physically went at this time and moment and, against his better judgement, he chose to return to his own quarters instead of reporting to Alpha as he’d been instructed.

Hikaru managed about 33 hours of avoiding Alpha. In all honesty, he might have gone the entire time without running into the man. It was surprisingly easy, though it did mean he got very little rest. He had to avoid his quarters, and basically any high traffic areas of the ship. Alpha wasn’t even the one who ended up finding him. Sulu’d gotten roped into conversation with one of the scientist when he felt an arm looping around his neck, pulling him away and down the corridor.

He groaned internally as he looked over and saw Leo, the man tossing an excuse and laughing with the officer he'd pulled Sulu away from. Of course Alpha had set his friends looking for him. Hikaru considered pulling away, fighting him even, so long as it meant he wouldn’t be dragged off to see Alpha. But that would create a whole new slew of problems. Leo outranked him, which would mean hell to pay when Alpha got his hands on him, but would also drag the captain because he would be starting fights with crew.

Resigned, Sulu let Leo drag him along.

To say Alpha was angry would be an understatement. Leo received a curt “thanks” before Sulu was towed into the room and the door slammed shut. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your mouth shut you disrespectful, disobedient little bitch.”

The order was unnecessary as Sulu had nothing to say in his defense anyway. He’d willingly chosen the only rebellious option available for him by defying the CMO’s order to report to Alpha. At the time, he hadn’t cared, just wanted something to feel in control of, but now… He wasn’t entirely sure that moment of choosing was worth this.

 

 

*******************************

 

 

Alpha dragged him toward the living area and Sulu was just beginning to feel hope that he might only have to suffer through a beating when he was shoved to the floor. Alpha kicked him back until he was pressed against the couch, then moved forward to grab a fistful of his hair.

“Little whore Omega so desperate for his Alpha’s cock you just can’t help acting out.“ Alpha growled out, unceremoniously shoving his member into Sulu’s mouth. He groaned at the feeling, jerking Sulu’s hair harshly, shoving himself deeper down the Omega’s throat. “Keep being such a disobedient little bitch and I’ll have to start rewarding my friends for bringing you to heel. Bet Leo would love to join in, help keep that little mouth of yours busy while ripped you open again.”

Sulu tried to pull back at the suggestion, panicked at the thought someone else joining in on this. Alpha’s grip on his hair tightened, holding him still and pinning him to the couch as he rutted against Sulu’s face. He backed off after the third-time Sulu choked, shoving the Omega to the floor. “Can’t you do anything right? Can’t even take a punishment, what kind of Omega are you?” He growled a frustrated sigh, kicking Sulu into motion. “Get up!”

Sulu stood shakily, trying to ignore the taste on his tongue and the bitter feeling in his chest at the harsh words from Alpha. The Bond made the criticism hurt that much more and, much as Sulu didn’t want to, he found himself believing the Alpha’s words. He wasn’t a good Omega, couldn’t follow the simplest of orders, couldn’t take what Alpha gave him.

He didn’t speak as Alpha dragged him to the bed, feeling almost numb as he was shoved face down. It was almost like time was skipping, then slowing down. It felt like he’d missed the part where Alpha had rid him of his clothes, but he was so keenly away of Alpha’s hardness pressed against him as the man loomed over top him.

“I’m gonna have to fuck some sense into my little whore Omega. You’ll learn your place one way or another.” Alpha warned, biting the newly scarred Bond mark as he entered Sulu.

Hikaru screamed, choking back the sound when Alpha made a pleased noise in response. He didn’t want to hear the things Alpha spoke in his ear, being told how tight he was, how good his fear smelled, and what a good little bitch Alpha would make him. Sulu just wanted time to speed up again, to get past this pain and for this all to be _over_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And further down the rabbit hole we go.


	8. An Endless Cycle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING** : Yet again, mind the page breaks. It's in the middle this time.

Hikaru threw himself into whatever he could get his hands on to distract himself from this nightmare he called a life. For weeks after his little ‘lesson’ following that attempt to avoid the Alpha, Sulu had been far too much of a nervous wreck to even think of trying to go to the Captain for help. The fact that said captain and many others on the crew had sent him congratulations on his recent Bonding did not help his reluctance.

When he wasn’t on duty or being called to Alpha’s room, he kept busy either studying every flight manual he could get his hands on, or burying himself with his newest hobby, botany. The Indiana was a science vessel, so it was ridiculously easy for Sulu to find more than enough material on plants to keep himself busy. After a month, he’d obtained enough trust from some of the scientist that they’d let him have his own little greenhouse of sorts. It was soothing work, calming to just focus and care for the plants he was growing.

Hikaru was just exiting his little lab when he spotted the captain walking down the corridor. He hesitated for a moment, fear holding him to the spot. The soreness from the previous evening from Alpha, and the message he’d already received to show up at Alpha’s room again tonight, prompted him to hurry after the captain. It wasn’t like he had anything to lose, right?

“Captain!” Sulu called out to him as he jogged to catch up. “Sir, if I might have a moment?” Hikaru tried to settle his nerves as the captain turned around to face him. He needed to approach this delicately, he didn’t want to insult the man like had happened with the CMO.

“Mister Sulu.” The captain nodded politely, waiting for Sulu to catch up before continuing to walk down the corridor. “I only have a short moment, so make it quick.”

Hikaru fell into step beside him, already steeling himself to refer to Alpha by name instead of title. “Sir, I- I have a complaint that I would like to register against Jameson. I consulted the CMO about this, but he and Jameson are friends, and he dismissed the complaint entirely.”

The captain let out a sigh, coming to a stop and facing Sulu. “Look, Ensign, just because you have a fight with your Alpha doesn’t mean you can use the chain of command to win the argument. Doctor Huely is a good man and a better doctor, I trust his judgement. I told you before and I’ll tell you this one last time, I do not want to be mixed up in the dynamic you Omega’s and Alpha’s have with each other. Jameson’s a fine officer, has gotten better since you were assigned to him. He works better with the rest of the crew now. You do good work professionally and have a fine Bond that keeps the both of you performing admirably. Don’t rock the boat with your little squabbles. Understood?”

Sulu rocked back some at the long explanation, somewhat blindsided by the near outright refusal to hear his side of the story. He remembered one of the first things Alpha had told him, that Omega’s were here just to make sure the pack ran smoothly. This crew wasn’t a pack, not really, none of them had close bonds. There were little cliques, groups of friends, but not really a pack. Still, his presence was apparently making things run smoother, so maybe it was true. Maybe this really was the reason Starfleet allowed Omega’s to join.

He didn’t want to believe that, because that’s not what the Academy had been about, but how could he deny the proof right in front of him? “I…” Sulu scrambled for an answer as the captain looked at him, one eyebrow raised expectantly as he waited for a response. “Yes, Sir, I… I understand.”

“Good.” The captain affirmed, nodding his head once. “I’ll see when Lt. Jameson’s next leave is and make sure you have the same time off. Until then, just try and make up. I don’t need any Bonded drama nonsense disrupting my ship.”

Sulu watching in dumbfounded silence as the captain turned and continued on his way, completely unconcerned about the conversation that had just taken place. Hikaru supposed he should be grateful the man hadn’t given him and Alpha leave time immediately. He hardly wanted a repeat of last time, though he knew he wouldn’t be foolish enough, brave enough, to try and defy an order to report to Alpha again.

He glanced over as a crewman walked by, giving him an add look. Realizing he was just standing in the corridor like an idiot, he turned and headed to his quarters. He couldn’t help but roll the conversation over in his mind, looking for some way that there might have been some miscommunication or just… something. He didn’t see how, there wasn’t much he’d been allowed to say, the captain had cut him off before he’d even been able to go into what was wrong.

Hikaru didn’t have too long to dwell on the matter, having only enough time to shower and change before he had to head towards Alpha’s quarters. It was hard to put the events from his mind though, because it just felt so unfair, being dismissed under the assumption he was just having an argument with his Alpha. The captain didn’t even care to try to understand, whether he understood how the Bond even worked at all was anyone’s guess, and Sulu came away with the one point that so long as the crew worked well, the captain didn’t care.

Sulu had to wonder, of course, just what the captain meant by Alpha getting along better with the rest of the crew, if there was really such a marked difference. He didn’t see much difference in the man from when he’d first started seeing him. Well, not really. True, Alpha had a new favorite form of punishment he added on top of, though sometimes in place of, the usual beating. The moments after when he would be almost gentle, almost pleased with Sulu were becoming more rare, though Hikaru knew he could easily argue that they’d stopped altogether. Of course, the newest addition of Alpha claiming what he called ‘perks of having an Omega’ in the bedroom were hardest to deal with.

Hikaru tried to shake those thoughts from his head, knowing he’d need to pay attention, and activated the chime on Alpha’s door. Sulu shifted nervously as he entered Alpha’s quarters, immediately noticing Leo lounging on the couch. He dropped his gaze as Alpha looked over, beginning to get to his knees but was stopped by Alpha’s command. “Come here, Omega.”

Sulu licked his lips nervously, heart pounding. Last time he’d heard those words it had not ended well. Alpha couldn’t have heard about his chat with the captain. No one had been anywhere near the two of them to overhear and there hadn’t been enough time for the Captain to tell Alpha about it either. Besides, considering how many times the captain stated he wanted nothing to do with the Alpha Omega pair, it was unlikely he would decide to start getting involved now. Sulu obeyed the order, walking over to where the two of them were sitting.

Alpha clicked his fingers, pointing to a spot on the floor beside him. It was such an obvious unspoken order that Sulu didn’t need any more clarification. He moved around the coffee table to kneel where he’d been told, shaking slightly as he glanced up briefly at Alpha.

The man had a drink in one hand and seemed to be relaxed. He didn’t look angry, though he scowled when he noticed Sulu’s gaze. He huffed, cuffing Hikaru none too gently across the face. Sulu flinched, ducking his head and keeping his eyes down, jaw clenched to keep any noise in. Alpha always wanted him to take his punishments silently.

“Little bitch still hasn’t learned manners completely.” Alpha stated, chuckling with a short glance at Leo. Hikaru would be lying if he said he wasn’t panicking at the way the conversation was going. Though, to be honest, after that little line he lost track of what was said, his head spinning. He’d been good, he’d tried to be good, Alpha wasn’t really going to let Leo do anything. It was already bad enough suffering through Alpha’s needs and demands, Sulu wasn’t sure he could stomach being passed around.

 

 

**************************

 

 

Hikaru tensed as the two men stood, almost turning to look up at them. He kept his eyes down though, leaning away slightly as Alpha strode past him, walking Leo to the door. Sulu was near panting with nervous fear, waiting for Alpha to come back. This couldn’t be the only thing, the only reason Alpha had wanted him. He didn’t have to wait long for Alpha to return.

Sulu let out a low involuntary pleading whine as rough hands grabbed his hair, jerking him back and throwing him against the couch. “I should beat you for being late.” Alpha slurred, fumbling drunkenly at his pants, tugging Sulu’s head back and pressing forward. “Being so disrespectful tonight, breaking the rules. Should beat you raw for that.” He jerked Sulu’s hair again, groaning at the feel of Sulu’s pained whine around him.

Hikaru was sickeningly grateful when Alpha finished quickly. It generally went one of two ways when Alpha had been drinking. Either he’d finish quickly with Sulu on his knees getting him off, or would have his Omega pinned under him on the bed, enraged that his bitch couldn’t finish what he’d started.

When he was done, Alpha shoved Sulu, stumbling back a step. Hikaru didn’t dare move without permission, holding still and trying to keep his mind blank and unfocused on the smell and taste. He’d be sick later, always was. He waited, not even wiping the mess from his chin until Alpha growled at him, throwing the empty bottle his way and shouting at him to get out.

Hikaru fled quickly, before Alpha could change his mind.

 

 

****************************

The moment Hikaru entered his quarters he headed for the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach. He remained there, dry heaving until his stomach muscles ached, trying to get his body back under control. He couldn’t stop shaking, didn’t even want to look at himself in the mirror. So disgusting, pathetic.

He stripped, turning the shower to the hottest setting his could stand, lingering under the spray until his head swam from the steam. He still couldn’t feel clean. He stumbled out of the shower, dressing haphazardly and collapsing on the floor by his bed, curling his knees close to his chest. He wanted to cry, but for all the tightness in his chest and the lump in his throat, his eyes remained dry.

He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take, why he eve cared to continue to try. He loved exploring space, sure, and the feel of being in control of the starship was indescribably, but was it really worth this? Hikaru tensed as the flashing light as his desk caught his attention. He didn’t bother trying to stop the frightened whimper, unable to stomach the thought of having to go back to Alpha again, twice in one night. He stood up on weak legs, moving over to play the message. He might not want to go back to Alpha, but it would be worse if he ignored him.

It was almost a shock to see Chekov’s face on the video message, looking as chipper as ever, though a bit more tan than the last time Sulu’d seen him, grinning widely. The sight of his best friend eased some of the tension, a warm feeling curling in his chest. It had been a while since he’d received a message from Pav, long enough that he’d nearly started to believe the Russian had tired of trying to contact him. Sulu felt the familiar pangs of guilt over the fact that he hadn’t responded to any of Chekov’s messages since the Bonding.

He tried to ignore the feeling, distracting himself by transferring the message to a data PADD and heading over to curl up in bed. The expression on Pav’s face just screamed he had an amazing story to tell. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could pretend they were back at the Academy, trading stories throughout the night simply because they could.

The tales had always started out true, generally some little thing that had happened. He chuckled to himself, remembering the way that they’d slowly start exaggerating until they were making up the most ridiculous stories that went beyond even the remote chance of being true. Slight smile on his lips, Sulu pressed play, relishing the sound of the nickname Pav had given him and letting the Russian’s story lull him into relaxing and falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm not being repetitive or boring, that thought occurred to me after I'd already finished the chapter. If you think I am, let me know, I love comments, they give me strength.


	9. Broken

It was nearing two years since Chekov had been reassigned, and about a year since Sulu had stopped replying all-together. He regretted stopping all contact, but after the Bonding with his Alpha, he couldn’t bring himself to try and speak with Chekov. He didn’t know whether it was shame or pride, or perhaps a mix of both, but either way, every time he sat down to draft a message to Chekov, he couldn’t think of a thing to say. The scar from the forced Bond was only vaguely visible above the collar of his uniform, so he knew Chekov would never see it if he did made a video message, but Sulu still couldn’t think of anything to say.

What _could_ he say? If there had ever been even the slightest chance of him transferring before, it was long gone after what Alpha had done. Both the Captain and CMO’s actions and words made it more than crystal clear that this was normal, and between himself and Alpha. Besides, Sulu knew he couldn’t complain about anything because it wasn’t Alpha, it was _him_. Sulu knew Alpha was right about everything he’d said.

So, he just stopped.

He still listened to Chekov’s messages when they came, though as time dragged on that became more of a punishment than anything else. The increasing sorrow and distress in the Russian’s tone ripped Sulu apart. He knew he deserved it thought, for abandoning his friend with no explanation. He wasn’t sure whether he should be heartbroken or relieved when the interval between messages grew longer.

The last message he’d gotten from Chekov was a short video of Chekov, trying his hardest to smile into the camera. “Hey Karu. I hope zhat you are okay, and zhat you are getting zhese messages. I vanted to share zhe good news. I got promoted to ensign and I am zhe head nawigator here now. I am shadowing zhe chief engineer as vell, so I keep busy.” The kid had looked like he’d wanted to say more, but just shook his head slightly. “I hope to hear from you soon.”

Sulu had sat staring at the dark screen for a long time, replaying Pav’s words in his mind, noting all the little expressions he’d shown. He’d looked healthy, sad too but Sulu attributed that to the fact that he was trying to talk to some screw up Omega who was ignoring him. Still, Hikaru was proud of his friend, wished more than anything that he could tell him. The kid was Ensign now, plus head navigator for the Federation’s flag ship. That was impressive for someone who was seventeen. Was he really seventeen already? He could hardly believe it had been that long.

Hikaru felt stupid for how afraid he was to speak to Chekov, knew better than to think that Pav would ever judge him or hold things against him. But there was nothing Pav could do, especially now. The captain and CMO here on the Indiana didn't want or care to do anything, so even if Chekov tried to get help from _his_ captain, Sulu had little doubt the man would be every bit as uninterested. Chekov was already progressing so far in his career, Hikaru wasn't going to get in the way of that.

Eventually, after a few days of rewatching the message, he scrounged the courage to draft up a reply full of congratulation on his promotion and apologies for not writing back in so long. It was short, woefully inadequate and missing all the details of his life that he couldn’t bring himself to admit. He couldn’t even bring himself to tell Pav how he had gotten his own promotion. He held the rank of Lt. now, but Alpha had said that had little to do with his own talent, and more to do with Alpha’s connections.

Hikaru let the message sit for days, going back and looking at it, debating on deleting it or sending it, rewriting it over and over. He wasn’t sure if Chekov would even _want_ to hear from him at this point. But the forlorn expression on the kid’s face kept haunting him, as did the desire to speak to his best friend again.

After a couple weeks of deliberating and second guessing, he sent the message.

It was shortly after that when things changed. Though, it was less of a change, and more of a disastrous mission that left Sulu, Jameson, and one other science officer stranded on a hostile planet. Sulu’d been flying the shuttle down when they were fired upon, bringing the craft down and killing one science officer in the process.

The remaining three had been found and taken captive by their attackers. In the week that they were held, Sulu had been questioned more than once. He didn’t know which was worse; the drug that made his mind float or being given back to Alpha with the scent of strange Alpha’s on him. It never failed to make the man angry, no matter how many times Sulu tried to reassure him, pleading with Alpha that he was his, he didn’t need to do this. It never made any affect, Alpha always taking him and immediately marking him, staking his claim with little regard for the Beta officer in the cell with them.

Having an audience added an element of humiliation on top of the usual pain of being forced to his knees and mounted by Alpha. The first time, Sulu had protested, fighting back even through the orders Alpha barked at him. The resulting viciousness from the man wasn’t worth it, the Alpha taking and using him either way. He felt weak, pathetic and broken, but he couldn’t handle beatings from both the interrogators _and_ his Alpha, so after the first time, he did his best to placate the man.

When rescue finally came, the captors where in the middle of taking Jameson to be questioned. Sulu lay where they’d thrown him, in the middle of the cell, drugs making it difficult for him to think, let alone move. He was aware of shouting, flashes of phaser fire, and he pushed himself up onto all fours. Hikaru looked up in time to see Alpha catch a round of phaser fire, falling back and onto the ground, eyes wide and staring.

Hikaru would never be able to place when exactly it had happened, but at some point, he’d started viewing Alpha, no… Jameson, as something larger than life. A force so impossible that he was almost god like in his ability to control and dictate Sulu’s actions, thoughts, and emotions. Watching him die, seeing him lying still and motionless, shattered that perception of him Sulu’d unconsciously adopted.

All the classes in the world could not have prepared Sulu for the feeling of loss. He’d never wanted to Bond with Jameson, had hated that the man claimed him as his own, used him with no regard to Sulu’s wishes. Hikaru resented the nature of his biology that made the loss of the Alpha hurt. He felt a low whine leave his throat. He was shocked that the noise had come from him, unable to look away from the dead Alpha. He was dimly aware of a body moving to stand next to him and the feeling of a hypo being pressed to his neck, then only darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% sure about this chapter and whether or not I want to go back and elaborate more on what Hikaru went through during all that time.  
> Or even elaborate more on what happened during that week long time on the planet. Perhaps I may go back and do that. But for now, I'll just leave this chapter as is.   
> Hopefully, the change in pace isn't too abrupt, and worry not there is plenty of issues still to be worked out.


	10. Rebirth

Sulu woke up in a hospital, opening his eyes to bright, clean white light and blinking at his surroundings. He had a moment of quiet before a nurse came in, taking one look at him and leaving to fetch the doctors. Hikaru looked around slowly, trying to take in his surroundings and, more importantly, the hollow feeling inside where the Bond had been. He’d never really paid much attention to it before, had purposefully ignored it, but now that it was gone he could almost feel it.

The doctors informed him that he’d been unconscious for a few days, that his injuries he’d received while captive were well on their way to healing, and he would have a couple weeks leave before he was given the option of returning to duty. Hikaru sat still and silent as they spoke, not reacting even when they expressed their sympathies for the loss of his Alpha.

They told him Jameson, along with the other science officer that had been prisoner with them, were being given the highest honors, having given their lives in the line of duty. There was to be a ceremony in the next day or so and Sulu had a place at the front. Sulu just nodded at that, feeling like his brain was short circuiting under the information. Of course. Jameson was being honored, he was a decorated officer, had no complaints registered against him. And now he never would. It was so _wrong_ Sulu wanted to scream, because how was there ever going to be any justice now. Not that there would have been anyway, he thought, all the frustration and fire fizzling out to a cold numbness again.

He was relieved when they left him to rest, looking up at the closed door. Hikaru couldn’t figure out what he was feeling. Relief, Jameson was gone and now no one would know. No one would know how far Sulu had let himself fall, the things he’d done, how weak he was. Frustration at how everyone still seemed to hold the man in such high esteem. There was a pain and sorrow as well at the broken bond. Forced though it may have been, painful even, but Jameson had forged a pack bond between them, and its loss hurt. At least he’d been unconscious for the worst part of it.

Sulu couldn’t completely figure out what he was feeling on that subject, so he turned his thoughts to the rest of what the doctors had said. They’d said his injuries were healing, having assumed he’d received them all while being held captive. He had no intention of correcting them on that, content just to have them healed by professionals rather than the slipshod job he was usually forced to do on his own time. He wondered if he would be able to find a way around attending that ceremony. He had no desire to sit and smile, play nice and pretend that Jameson had been a good Alpha to him. He didn’t want to see the man’s family, a part of him afraid that one of them might try and rope him into staying with them in some twisted sense of pack obligation.

Jameson had been so controlling, so dead set on Sulu _belonging_ to him. Would his family see it that way, consider Sulu just another one of Jameson’s personal effects to be taken home? No, no. Sulu shook his head, reiterating to himself that such a thing was impossible. That wasn’t how things worked, no matter how many times Jameson had claimed him. Hikaru might have been Jameson’s Omega, but he still had his own skills and talents. Starfleet knew and recognized this, why else would they have given him the rank of Lieutenant.

The doctor had even expressly said that he was to be given the option of returning to duty, they weren’t going to force him into retiring, or let anyone else for him either. He was _useful_ to Starfleet and it was unlikely he would be let go easily and shipped off to live a civilian life. Not if he was asking to remain on active duty.

The doctor had also informed him that if he needed the help of an Alpha, there was one on call in the hospital. Of course, Sulu had shaken his head in refusal, wanting nothing to do with any Alpha. He was being given leave for the next two weeks, and it was up to him whether he wanted to continue his commission with Starfleet or not. That was the option that he really needed the time to think over. Hellish as much of his time had been on the Indiana, he still loved being out in space, flying the starship. He wasn’t sure he could give that up, but he wasn’t sure how much more he could take either. If he stayed on, they’d just assign him a new Alpha and this would start all over again.

Maybe… He blinked, frowning down at the blanket. Maybe he could get transferred to the Enterprise, with Chekov, if Pav was even still stationed there. He hadn’t heard from his friend in so long, but he had still been there the last time he’d gotten a message. If he remembered correctly, Pav had said that there was at least one Alpha on board. Sulu was pretty sure it’d been the captain, but he couldn’t be certain. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Being assigned to Jameson had been bad enough, and he’d just been a Lieutenant, Hikaru wasn’t sure he wanted to know how an Alpha with the authority of Captain would be.

Still, even if that Alpha was even more controlling and demanding than Jameson had been, at least Pav would be there. He’d made life bearable on the Indiana, helped him through the worst days, surely, he’d do the same on the Enterprise? If he hadn’t just moved on already, made new friends. Given up on the pilot completely. Hikaru wouldn’t have blamed him if he had.

Sulu decided he’d do it. He’d put in a request to transfer to the Enterprise, assuming Chekov was still there, and if they refused, well… Sulu wasn’t sure what he would do then. Maybe accept a different posting, or just figure out where Pav was and go from there.

~~

Sulu managed to make it through the time off without having to go see the resident Alpha at the hospital. The doctors were concerned about the imbalance in his hormone levels, but the attributed that to the fact that Sulu had been witness to the death of his Alpha. Hikaru let them keep thinking that.

He wasn’t going to tell them that Jameson hadn’t taken been able to balance him out even once in the time he’d known him. Not really anyway. The Bond, once there, had made him stable enough, but he didn’t feel that sense of Pack. Before that he’d relied on Chekov, and once he’d left, well… Sulu’d had to suffer through drops and just try and fool himself into thinking he was fine enough with what little Jameson gave him.

It wasn’t their fault that they thought that. Sulu knew he was just a terrible Omega. Jameson had pounded that into him, in more ways than one. Sulu couldn’t submit right, couldn’t give an Alpha want they wanted, and it wasn’t the Alpha’s fault. On some level, he knew this kind of thinking was wrong, but he couldn’t keep it from coming back to his mind.

So, he avoided the Alpha at the hospital.

Two days before his leave was scheduled to end, Sulu received a message from Starfleet informing him that his request to be transferred to the Enterprise had been accepted. He was to report to the USS Nerada to fly out and would board the Enterprise at Station Delta-4 where the ship was scheduled to resupply in four days’ time.

Sulu kept to himself on the Nerada, he was still off duty so it wasn’t like he needed to worry about being on shift, and he had no desire to mingle with the crew. He stayed in his quarters most of the journey, wandering the corridors only when he absolutely couldn’t stand the sight of the same four walls any longer. The Nerada was comprised only of Beta’s, so none of them looked at him twice.

When they finally arrived, Sulu was both parts nervous and excited to head to the Enterprise. He worried Chekov wouldn’t be there, or that his friend wouldn’t recognize him, or just not care at all. Sulu knew he was a far different person than he’d been when Chekov had left. Hikaru knew he was being ridiculous, but he was so high strung right now there was little he could do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And next chapter we'll be back to the staring and second guessing before I actually just say screw it and post the chapter. Yes, it's basically done, but I just like... meh. *stares* *loves/hates it* *nervous how everyone else will think of it*  
> 


	11. Arrival on the Enterprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a scale of 1 to 10 how weird and dorky are my chapter titles?  
> Or does no one even care/read them?  
> Just curious.

Much to Hikaru’s dismay, or perhaps relief, he wasn’t sure, Chekov was not waiting for him when he arrived. He was hesitant to ask around, but his curiosity got the better of him. He was glad he asked, because he found out that Chekov was simply tied up in some engineering issue. Of course, that didn’t answer the question as to whether Pav still felt the same towards him.

That would have to wait for another time, though, because Sulu had to check in with the CMO before he would be cleared for duty. He had enough time to go to his quarters, looking around the place for a little while. It was as he expected, standard Starfleet quarters, much like the Indiana but a slight bit bigger. He took the time to unpack, though there wasn’t all that much, and changed into a fresh uniform.

Hikaru made his way to sickbay at the appropriate time, arriving right on schedule by habit, and looked around for the CMO. He was not expecting to find an Alpha in there, nor for him to immediately head towards him. Sulu couldn’t help the tension in his shoulders, though he resolutely met the clear blue gaze of the Alpha. This wasn’t the captain, wasn’t his Alpha, and he would be damned if he were going to start this new post off by being punished for showing too much deference and submission to an Alpha he was not assigned to. “I’m Lt. Sulu, Sir. I’m looking for the chief medic?”

“Ya found him.” The man gruffed, voice slightly impatient with a southern lilt to it. “Leonard McCoy. You’re right on time, usually I have to hunt people down on this ship. C’mon, follow me.” McCoy stated, turning and moving toward a biobed and picking up some instruments. “’ve heard a lot bout you, Mister Sulu. Ensign Chekov’s mentioned you more than once.”

Sulu followed automatically, sitting on the bed at McCoy’s direction. He was surprised to hear that Chekov spoke about him, often by the sound of it. “Yes, Sir. We went to the Academy together. He was on the Indiana with me before he was transferred here.”

The doctor ran a scan of Sulu, giving him a sidelong look. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the tension in the man. The way he was acting seemed familiar. He focused on the chart, taking note of Sulu’s past medical history. He frowned at the listed injuries. The chart attributed them to his time spent captive during the last mission, but the scan he just ran didn’t completely line up with that.

Other than that, there was a distinct lack of anything. His file showed only his designation of Omega, a healthy history with no sicknesses, the date the Bond had been made, and the most recent breaking of that Bond along with injuries from the away mission gone wrong. He scowled at the thing, it was impossible to be that healthy and injury free. Even the most careful of officers ended up getting hurt in some form or fashion. It was the nature of the job. He’d have to look into that, see if something had happened to the reports of Hikaru’s prior CMO.

His eyes narrowed as he came to the readout of Sulu’s current condition, tossing a displeased look toward the pilot, not missing the way the man flinched slightly at the glare. “Your hormone levels are way off.” He informed him, knowing immediately that Sulu was well aware. The pilot ducked his head a little, hands tightening slightly on the edge of the bed. “They have recovery Alpha’s at hospitals for a _reason_ Mister Sulu, and it’s not just to look fancy.”

Sulu had to fight the impulse to cringe away as McCoy’s tone took on an angry quality. He held onto the edge of the bed to keep himself from moving, taking the scolding in silence. This was just a scolding, McCoy wasn’t his Alpha and likely wouldn’t do anything more. He could feel his heart rate pick up anyway, and he knew McCoy would notice as well, if for no other reason than the scanner on the bed would indicate it.

Sure enough, McCoy’s gaze flickered to the readout, then back to Sulu. The doctor huffed, shaking his head and turning to prepare a hypo. “You’ll need to report to the Captain, he’s been assigned to you. This,” McCoy explained, holding up the hypo briefly, “is your inoculations. You were missing a few.” He snorted, shaking his head again and moving over to inject Sulu. Kid was this jumpy with just him, Kirk was gonna have a time getting him back to rights. Damn stubborn officers. He wouldn't of had it this bad if he'd had the sense to go to the Alpha at the hospital.

He paused for a moment, noticing the scarring barely visible above the collar of Sulu’s uniform. McCoy’d seen Bond marks before, but they weren’t usually so prominent. His opinion of Sulu’s prior doctor dropped even further. “I’ll send a message to Jim, let him know he’s gettin the next day or so off. And you aren’t cleared yet, so be back here tomorrow.” McCoy concluded, stepping back after he’d administered the drugs. He frowned slightly at the way Sulu’s shoulders relaxed some at the increased distance. There was something off about the way Sulu was acting, even with the broken Bond. McCoy couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but it had his hackles up all the same.

Hikaru nodded at McCoy’s instructions. “Yes, sir.” He wasn’t comfortable with the way the doctor was scrutinizing him, didn’t know how to interpret it. Nor was he sure how to take the news he’d be getting the ‘next day or so’ with his Alpha. Jim, or James Kirk, captain of the Enterprise. He knew he'd have to see him, sooner rather than later, but not this soon. He figured the Alpha would call him to show up within the week or something. To be prescribed a set amount of time to spend with the Alpha from the CMO was something he would have tried to avoid if he could, it had been such a disaster last time that had happened after all. And wasn’t this just delightful, another Alpha who was friends with the CMO.

They had to be friends, otherwise why would the doctor be using a nickname for the captain, or the man’s first name at all. Sulu stood up as McCoy turned away, taking that as a dismissal. He hesitated a moment, in case McCoy wanted anything else from him. With Jameson, he never knew if there would be just one more thing, and assuming always ended poorly. When McCoy just headed over to another patient without a second look at him, Sulu relaxed as much as he was able and left sickbay.

He was too nervous to want to explore the ship. The thought did occur to him that he should explore it now, while he was relatively free of pain, but a part of him wanted to wait. He couldn’t help but picture the way that Chekov would animatedly describe things, likely in excruciating detail, if he were the one giving a tour. And it would be a perfect, seamless way for them to pick up their friendship.

With that cheerful thought in mind, because he was resolutely _not_ thinking about the possibility Chekov would want nothing to do with him, Sulu settled on going back to his quarters. The Enterprise was due to resume her exploration mission within the next couple of hours, and Sulu figured that he would have at least that much time before he would receive a message to report to his Alpha.


	12. Secrets and Suspicions

McCoy wasn’t really aware of how much time had passed until Chekov showed up. He noticed the kid almost immediately, it was hard not to the way he was all but bouncing and looking around excitedly. “You just missed him.” McCoy commented, knowing exactly who the Russian was looking for. “By about four hours.”

Chekov’s face fell a little at that, and he trailed along after McCoy as the doctor moved around the sickbay. “I zhought I might still hawe time to see him before my shift.” He sighed. He perked up after a moment, the thought finally dawning that McCoy likely did Sulu’s exam. “How vas he, doctor?” He inquired, a slight bit of worry coloring his tone.

McCoy paused in what he was doing, glancing over at Chekov. Friend at the Academy, eh? This could give him a little insight into the Omega. Sulu’d been fairly closed off, and he had little doubt the man would be the same with Kirk. If Chekov had any helpful hints, that would certainly be useful in getting Sulu back in optimal health, and maybe finding out just what it was that was so suspicious about him. McCoy had already sent Kirk a message informing him of Sulu and his needs, but he could always send him a short message with extras.

“Doin’ fine, considering the circumstances.” McCoy drawled, moving to his desk and taking a seat, waving Chekov over in the process.

Pavel shifted to lean against the desk slightly. He’d heard the rumors about those circumstances, though he wasn’t sure how much of them were to be believed. Yes, he knew it was true that Jameson had died, but it was the part about Sulu and the Bond that had him confused. He knew Sulu disliked Jameson, even if the pilot had never said, or even hinted. So why would he agree to that?

Chekov considered his words, not sure how to inquire after Sulu’s health without raising suspicion. He trusted McCoy, and all of the Enterprise crew, but he wouldn’t betray Sulu. He didn’t want to cause trouble for his friend. He knew he’d done that more than once back on the Indiana, though he’d only been trying to help.

McCoy spoke up before Chekov could voice any question, leaning back in his chair and watching the navigator. “Tell me bout the Indiana, bout Mister Sulu?” He asked. He knew Chekov was just itching to ask all about how Sulu was doing, and would jump on the chance to segue into that.

Sure enough, Chekov grinned, animatedly talking about the first day on duty. McCoy watched him speak, lips pressing together as he finally placed that feeling of familiarity he’d felt earlier with Sulu. Chekov had acted in much the same manner when he’d first arrived on the Enterprise. With Sulu, it wasn’t out of the ordinary, not under the circumstances. But Chekov was a Beta with no broken Bond to put him at odds. He hadn’t had any reason to be wary, but he had been.

McCoy’d learned a long time ago to trust his instinct and intuition, and it was telling him right now that these two things were connected. “What was his Alpha like?” He interrupted Chekov in the middle of a story from their Academy days. The doctor found it interesting how Chekov generally started his Sulu stories from the first days on the Indiana, then worked backward to the Academy. He hadn’t really noticed before, but thinking about it, that was always how Chekov recounted anything to do with Sulu.

Chekov stopped, blinking at McCoy in surprise. “He vas, uh…” He hesitated, drawing a blank on how to tactfully answer that question. “I deedn’t like him.” He eventually admitted, finding no other way to say it. Chekov frowned, hurrying on at McCoy’s lifted eyebrow. “I’m sure he vas a fine officer, but he just didn’t know Karu wery vell.”

Now they were getting somewhere. McCoy straightened, leaning forward a bit. “Tell me about it.”

Pavel hesitated a moment, but McCoy’s cajoling tone and open expression were enough to get him talking. He wasn’t telling any of Sulu’s secrets, just his own opinion. “Vell… he vas avlays...” Chekov stopped, sighing lightly. No, he could just start criticizing the way Jameson handled Sulu. Chekov didn’t really have any concrete proof anyway.

“Before, Sulu and I, ve vould spend time togezher. But after he began seeing Jameson, he vas… different.” He frowned, crossing his arms. “He didn’t come by as often, and vhen he did… he seemed nervous. And… he would pull avay from me sometimes.” Once the words started, Chekov couldn’t stop. Of all the times that he’d spoken of Sulu, no one had asked about Jameson or anything to do with this subject. They’d just let Chekov tell his tales and went on. “Ve used to vatch movies, cuddled togezher. He vould fall asleep with me petting hiz hair. You had to do it just right, he hated pulling. He just like to be close to someone. He vas happy and relaxed. But after. I vould go to hug him, touch him, and he vould flinch sometimes. Not all zhe time, but once vas too many. And he vould be so tense at first, and it alvays took him a moment to relax. As time vent on, it vould take him longer…” Chekov straightened, feeling tears come to his eyes at the memory, feeling that old guilt at having left Sulu there like that. “I asked him if ewery zhing was alright! I did! He alvays said he vas fine. Zhat he was happy. I tried to make sure. Zhe CMO zhere newer had a problem wizh any of it, and I know zhat Karu was hiding zhings. Zhe captain told me to let zhem be.”

Chekov fell quiet, looking down at the desk. He hadn’t meant to go on like that, but he’d kept it in for so long, and Sulu was here now, and he didn’t think he could stand going through all of that again. When he finally looked up at McCoy, the doctor’s face was carefully neutral.

“So, the captain knew about it?” McCoy asked, tone just as calm as his expression.

Chekov nodded, though he wasn’t sure exactly how much his prior captain had actually known. If the man had been as aware of went on with his crew as Kirk was, then yes, he’d likely known exactly what was going on. “Yes, I zhink he did. Vhen I vas transferred here, I tried to get Sulu transferred, but…”

“Starfleet ain’t in the habit of breakin up a bond pair, and Sulu wasn’t makin no complaints.” McCoy filled in when it became apparent Chekov had run out of words. He sighed, turning his eyes to the blank screen in front of him. This certainly put the cat in with the canaries. He glanced over at Chekov, brow furrowing at the kid’s still worried expression. “Don’t worry, kid. Jim’ll take care of him.”

As if on cue, McCoy’s comm chirped. He flipped it open, Kirk’s voice coming out before he had a chance to say anything. “Bones, I need you in my quarters as soon as possible. Don’t worry about knocking, just get in here. And for the love of god, please don’t come in here yelling.” McCoy’s brow furrowed in concern. If Jim’s tone weren’t enough to go by, the light whine in the background was. Just what the hell was Kirk doing over there?

He flipped the comm shut, grabbing his med kit and tossing a glance at Chekov. “He’ll be fine.” He said firmly, patting the Russian on the shoulder on his way out.

Chekov watched him leave, standing uselessly in by McCoy’s desk. Was that what he’d left Sulu to back on the Indiana? He’d never heard his friend make that sound before, but he knew it was him. The captain was assigned as his Alpha, and there were no other Omega’s on the ship, so it couldn’t be anyone else.

Numbly, stomach in knots, Chekov headed to the bridge to begin his shift. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get through it. He trusted Kirk, and McCoy, and believed they wouldn’t hurt his friend. But… he couldn’t shake the worry. He didn’t want to get off his shift and go back to his quarters to find Sulu huddled in his bed, shivering in fear and wanting affection. Chekov wanted things to be different here, not just a variation of how the Indiana had gone.

He quickened his pace, determined to convince Spock to let him leave early, or better yet, switch shifts entirely for today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy oh boy, I wonder what kinda landmines Kirk set off?


	13. First Meeting

Sulu stood outside Kirk’s room for a few moments, steeling himself for what was about to happen. Much as he didn’t want to, he stepped forward, activating the chime and alerting the Alpha inside that he was here. McCoy’d ordered him to report to the captain, his Alpha now, and he didn’t dare disobey. The doctor had been Alpha as well, and wouldn’t take it too well if he didn’t listen. Not to mention that Kirk and McCoy were friends, Pack possibly, and McCoy specifically said he was getting a couple days with his Alpha. It wouldn’t be the first time a doctor had gotten him in trouble with an his Alpha. And if Sulu didn’t show up when he was told, well… He knew he couldn’t avoid the Alpha forever, and had no desire to be punished for trying. So he'd gotten ready and headed toward the Alpha's room at the time Kirk had told him.

The door slid open as Kirk called out for him to come in, and he walked through, coming to a stop a few steps inside the captain’s quarters. He glanced around quickly, taking in the softly lit room. It was the standard issue quarters for a captain, nothing unusual at all. There was a couch, a second loveseat, and a coffee table, as well as a desk with a monitor, and a few personal effects. A short hallway lead to a doorway which could only lead to the bedroom.

He glanced away from that, wanting to delay having to visit _that_ particular room as long as possible. His eyes landed on Kirk, the man looking down at a data PADD as he made his way over. Sulu dropped his eyes as the Alpha approached, trying to will the tension from his body.

“One sec, sorry,” Kirk muttered, finishing the report in his hand. “I just needed to…” He stopped, trailing off as he looked up in time to see Sulu get to his knees slowly, eyes trained steadfastly to the side. What? Kirk blinked, not sure what to make of this.

Kirk frowned, setting the PADD down and moving closer. Sulu seemed to tense as he did so, tilting his head slightly to bare his throat. “Sorry, sir.” The scent of fear hit Kirk then, causing the Alpha to tense up, eyes narrowed as he instinctively scanned the room for any threats.

“Sorry for what?” Kirk asked as his gaze returned to Sulu, managing to keep his tone free of the tension he was currently feeling.

Sulu hesitated, biting his lip for a moment, tempted to look at the Alpha to gauge his mood, see just how angry the man was. He didn’t though. Jameson had been clear on what an Omega was expected to do, how they were expected to act. Whether Kirk would want the exact same thing, he didn’t know. But erring on the side of caution was probably the safest bet, which was why he’d knelt the moment Kirk’s attention turned his way.

“For... for interrupting you. I apologize, I.. I arrived early.” He hadn’t meant to, really. But it was nearly impossible to arrive exactly on time, and Sulu’d learned that being late was always worse. As long as the Alpha wasn’t waiting on him to arrive he wasn’t late, but interrupting an Alpha from whatever they were doing meant he was early. Thus, the impossibility of getting it right. His stuttered excuse of an apology probably wasn’t helping. He was just… so out of sorts, he couldn’t get his words out straight.

Sulu shuddered once as Kirk came to stand in front of him. He shifted slightly, offering his cheek, hoping the Alpha would be content just to hit him once, and get on with whatever else he had planned for the evening.

He wasn’t expecting the gentle touch, flinching slightly at the contact, Kirks warm hand cupping his cheek, stroking down his neck softly. “Easy… Easy, Sulu. It’s alright, I’m not mad.” Kirk muttered as he knelt, hand coming to a stop at the base of Sulu’s neck. Sulu let out a soft whine at that, eyes snapping up to meet Kirk’s because he couldn’t understand. The Alpha was being _gentle_. Why? He’d been bad, and Kirk wasn’t hurting him, he was just…

He knew he was dropping, even tried to claw his way up, but after so long of just pain and being forced down, that one touch had him falling. Sulu couldn’t stop himself, he threw himself forward, desperate to get closer to that gentle Alpha warmth, nearly knocking Kirk back as he all but crawled into his lap. Sulu wriggled, delighted and terrified as Kirk’s arms wrapped around him, holding him close.

Kirk was at a loss as to what to do. He’d expected their first session together to be difficult, it was hard on an Omega, losing an Alpha they’d been attached to for so long. But this… Sulu was letting out a low nonstop whine, trying to curl closer into Kirk’s chest, but shaking the whole time. The Omega smelled like fear and desperation, and it put Kirk on edge, though he had no idea what to do about it. Sulu was so far down he wasn’t responding to basically anything. Damn it…

He tried to keep his arm around Sulu, the Omega wasn’t making it that easy moving so much, and pulled out his comm, connecting it to McCoy directly. “Bones, I need you in my quarters as soon as possible. Don’t worry about knocking, just get in here. And for the love of god, please don’t come in here yelling.” He tried to keep any irritation from his tone, though going by the increase in volume of Sulu’s whine, he didn’t quite succeed.

“Easy.” He tried calming Sulu as he shut off the comm, reaching up to stroke his cheek. He dropped his hand as Sulu flinched violently, cringing into Kirk’s chest. “Alright, easy.” Kirk spoke lowly, brow furrowed as he glanced towards the door. He let Sulu cling to him, the Omega shaking the entire time though thankfully the terrified whine soon vanished.

Where the hell was Bones.

Sulu could scent the stress coming from the Alpha he clung to and while it was a nice change of pace from the usual irritation and anger, it was no less terrifying. He kept waiting for the man to shove him away, yell at him for being so presumptuous as to touch the Alpha without permission. Jameson would have had him stripped and begging for forgiveness by now. He knew that, knew he needed to just stop, be still and obedient like a good Omega. Everything was just so upside down, he couldn't bring himself to move away from the Alpha for all that he knew it was only a matter of time before the Alpha's stress turned to anger.

It didn’t though. Kirk let him stay, didn't push him away. Sulu couldn’t understand what he was waiting for. The Alpha was speaking, tone calm and even, but Sulu couldn’t get himself to focus enough to understand the words. He just hoped it wasn’t an order, there was no way he could obey it right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, misunderstandings and preconceived notions about the way things would go. Isn't it lovely?


	14. Calmed

Kirk managed to scoot them over to a wall, giving him something to lean against while he waited for McCoy to show up. Sulu’s trembling had slowed, though the man was breathing raggedly and was still completely nonverbal. It was difficult for Kirk to sit still and do nothing. Everything he’d tried to calm Sulu had only seemed to make it worse. He was relieved when the door to his quarters opened, McCoy walking through worried scowl in place.

“Jim. What the hell?” He asked, speaking in a near whisper as he walked over to where the two of them were huddled next to the wall. It was impossible for him to miss the scent of distressed and terrified Omega, though he was able to contain his reaction to it, mostly.

“I don’t know.” Kirk said, glancing down at Sulu worriedly as the man went completely stiff in his arms. He looked back up at McCoy as the doctor knelt beside them. “He just came in, and next thing I know he’s kneeling and I just _touched_ him, and he went down.”

“S-sorry…” Sulu managed to speak, the tremble starting to return as he forced himself up, pulling back from Kirk. His eyes were wide, pupils large as he looked at McCoy. “Sorry, I… I didn’t mean to…” He tried to force himself to concentrate, trying to make a full sentence. His thoughts felt like they were swimming through molasses, coming too slowly and jumbled together in a confusing fashion. The only thing he did know was that Jameson had threatened to share him before, let his friends use him. And now here was a second Alpha, his Alpha’s friend, sitting in front of him.

He must have done something wrong, that’s all he could think. He was hung up on that one thought, he’d done something so wrong and Kirk had called his friend here to help teach Sulu a lesson.

“That’s the first thing he’s said since he went down.” Kirk told McCoy worriedly, frowning at how Sulu was basically cowering away from both of them now.

McCoy opened his medkit, pulling out a scanner and passing it over Sulu quickly. He pulled back before Sulu had time to react, frowning down at the results. “His hormones are all over the place, which won’t be fun for him.” He stated simply, putting the instrument away and looking Sulu over briefly.

“So, what do we do?” Kirk asked, watching as Sulu’s eyes flickered back and forth between the two Alpha’s as they spoke.

McCoy sighed, running a hand down his face and thinking briefly. The stress of the broken Bond along with the amount of time it had been since Sulu had truly been down and relaxed had already begun to take its toll on the pilot’s body. The drop he was going through right now wasn’t life threatening, but it would be painful if he didn’t have help through it. He didn’t know enough about Sulu’s past to avoid all the triggers he likely had, but he knew enough about physiology to know how to balance an Omega. He could work on the rest later.

“I think I can help him, with your permission.” He spoke, looking Kirk in the eye. Yes, he had an idea of how to get Sulu through the drop, but Kirk was assigned to him, and with what little he’d heard about the Omega’s previous Alpha, he was willing to bet the only way Sulu wouldn’t panic at McCoy’s touch would be hearing Kirk say it was okay.

Kirk nodded, not entirely understanding why Bones was stressing the need for permission, but going with it anyway. He trusted McCoy, completely, and he’d say whatever the doctor wanted if it helped with their current situation. Having an Omega so frightened and in pain near him grated against the very fiber of his being. “Of course, do what you need to. Just… help him, okay?”

McCoy nodded, turning his gaze on Sulu. “Mister Sulu.” He stated, Alpha leaking into the tone and immediately garnering Sulu’s full attention. “I want you to stand up and follow me.” McCoy wasn’t going to do this on the hard floor, that wouldn’t be good for anyone.

Bones stood up, Sulu mirroring him after a second’s hesitation. He led the way over to the couch, sitting down and making himself comfortable leaning his back against the arm. Sulu shuffled forward haltingly, casting a glance over at Kirk uneasily every so often. McCoy reached up when Sulu was close enough, tugging the Omega down onto the couch with him, arranging the man so he was sitting with his back leaned against McCoy’s chest. McCoy curled around Sulu, ignoring the way the man tensed and flinched away from his touch, reaching to tilt the Omega’s head to his neck so Sulu could scent him.

It took all of Sulu’s willpower not to struggle and pull away when McCoy pulled him onto the sofa. All he could remember were all the times with his previous Alpha, and what the couch had always meant was going to happen. He wasn’t forced onto the floor however, but made to sit infront of the Alpha. It was different, but different didn’t always mean good in his experience. His back being flush with McCoy’s chest, able to feel _everything_ situated as he was between the man’s legs, was not helping his nerves, bringing him harshly back to the present reality, head pounding as a result.

He held his breath for a moment when McCoy titled his head, terrified to have his neck so exposed. The pain of a forced bond was not easily forgotten and he was still very away of Kirk’s presence in the room. He breathed in after a moment, pure calming Alpha scent flooding his nose. Oh. He relaxed somewhat at that, pressing his face into McCoy’s neck and breathing deeply. He let out a low whine, dropping down again at the scent. It had been so long since he’d experienced the scent of calm and soothing, he couldn’t help but press closer. McCoy hummed in approval, the sound a low rumble in his chest, arms wrapping around Sulu, hugging him closely.

McCoy let Sulu sit and just breath in his scent for a while, one hand sliding over to the man’s wrist, keeping track of his pulse as it slowed to a more normal rate. He shifted after that, bending his head down to Sulu’s neck, the Omega letting out an uncertain whine. McCoy just huffed, nuzzling at Sulu’s neck gently, licking once to mark him. He could see the scar, knew exactly what had the man so nervous.

Sulu flinched a little at that, cringing away. McCoy rubbed his cheek against Sulu’s throat in an attempt at reassurance before pulling back some. The kid wasn’t ready for that and he wasn’t gonna push, risk throwing him into a harsh drop again.

McCoy lifted an eyebrow when Sulu pressed his face back to his neck, breathing in deeply. McCoy was pleased to see that the Omega was not so scared after all, either that or Sulu just really like the way he smelled. He glanced over at Kirk where he was now sitting across on the other couch. Jim quirked a little smile at him, meeting his gaze for a moment before looking back at Sulu.

McCoy turned his attention back to Sulu, considering this next action. He wasn’t so certain how the kid would respond, but the Russian had said it was something he liked, and it wasn’t something that could be taken the wrong way. Sulu hadn’t completely let go yet though, so Bones figured he’d give it a shot. The kid desperately needed to spend at least a few minutes truly down and relaxed. McCoy lifted a hand, running it through Sulu’s hair once, gently.

The effect was instantaneous, Sulu going rigid in his lap, letting out a terrified pleading whine as he tilted his head back, baring his throat in submission. “P-please, don’t. I’m sorry, Alpha.” He had no idea what he’d done wrong, but he’d plead forgiveness if only Alpha wouldn’t start that particular punishment so soon. He could almost feel it, taste it, and it set his pulse racing, stomach twisting in knots.

“Easy kid. Nothing’s wrong.” McCoy spoke calmly, leaning down to nuzzle his neck in acceptance though he had no idea what the Omega was apologizing for. He continued petting Sulu’s hair, knowing that it was that motion that had scared Sulu, but willing to give him a chance to calm down and relax into it. If not he’d stop, but for now he just hoped Chekov’s advice was still correct. “Easy… ‘m not angry, see?”

It took a moment, McCoy running his fingers through Sulu’s hair and murmuring assurances against his neck, but eventually Hikaru relaxed, turning his head slightly to scent McCoy’s neck again, though he was shaking slightly once more. McCoy smiled a bit, letting the Omega take in his scent for a moment before rubbing his cheek against Sulu’s. “Good, that’s good.” He praised Sulu, tone gentle.

Relieved, Sulu went completely lax, melting against McCoy completely. He let out a satisfied little hum, the Alpha just smelled so _calm_ it was impossible not to, arching up to press his cheek against McCoy’s briefly in a sort of thanks. He was so grateful that Alpha wasn’t angry, wasn’t going to make him get down and… He pushed that memory away, ignoring it in favor of focusing on the pleased Alpha, relaxing as he lay back against McCoy, reminding himself over and over that Alpha wasn’t mad. He was good, Alpha had said he was _good_.

The feeling of fingers running through his hair was soothing, though his heart still beat too fast. He was somewhat worried even through the delightful feeling, afraid that those gentle hands would turn harsh. Still, so long as it lasted he might as well enjoy it. McCoy’s scent was calm and that, combined with the slight praise, was enough to reassure Hikaru for the moment.

Bones looked over at Kirk after that, giving him a little nod and indicating he should come over. Sulu tracked Kirk as he moved to sit in front of him, though he remained relaxed against McCoy.  
“He’s down, for now, relaxed, but he probably shouldn’t stay down too long at first.” Bones informed Kirk, still lightly petting Sulu’s hair. “He’s seems stable. Just sit here for a bit and I’ll shift him over to you so I can make sure.” He couldn’t tell just by scent how much Sulu’s hormones had stabilized, and trying to scan the Omega while he was laying on top of him wasn’t something he had any intention of doing.

“I’m almost afraid to ask what happened to make his act like this.” Kirk stated, shifting to sit comfortably, eyes on Sulu. McCoy just grunted lightly, letting the three of them fall into a comfortable silence. He’d have that particular conversation with Jim later.

After a while, Sulu closed his eyes, just drifting comfortably. He still felt vaguely uneasy and worried, but the Alpha he lay against continued to be gentle, the captain was relaxed sitting a couple feet away, and Hikaru dared to think that maybe just this once he might have done something right.

Bones was about to suggest shifting Sulu, when the door chimed, all three of them looking over in that direction. What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading back through this I realized it was probably a very good thing McCoy specified that Sulu should stand up to follow him. I can't imagine how he and Kirk would have reacted to Sulu thinking he needed to crawl.


	15. Return of a Friend

Kirk stood up, pausing at Sulu’s movement. The omega had shifted like he was going to rise as well, though McCoy wrapped one arm around him to keep him still, bending his head to speak lowly into Hikaru’s ear. The Omega went still at that, fear flashing across his face, before laying back again a little stiffly. Kirk caught McCoy’s eye briefly, then turned to go to the doorway.

He had no idea what to expect, he was pretty sure the entire crew knew he was busy for the next unspecified amount of time. Spock was supposed to be covering anything that wasn’t a world ending emergency. He blinked in confusion as the door opened to reveal a very nervous Pavel Chekov. The Russian seemed to be trying very hard _not_ to look past him into the room.

Kirk frowned slightly, curious but kind of worried at the same time, stepping out and closing the door. Chekov looked distressed and he didn’t want that to carry back towards Sulu. The guy had enough stress and tension already. “Hey, what’s up?”

Chekov took a little step back, shifting his weight nervously. The action only increased Jim’s worry. Chekov had never been so uneasy around him, not since the first few days of being on the Enterprise. He shifted back slightly, giving they young Ensign some space in hopes that would help.

It did, in a way, because it succeeded in getting Chekov to focus. Pavel’s gaze met Kirk’s, brow furrowed in an expression of determination. He took a breath, steadying himself before speaking. “Sir, I am zorry, I know zhat you are busy, I just… I vas…” He stopped again, the corner of his mouth turning down in a frustrated frown. “I deed not get to see Karu vhen he arrived, and I vas vondering… if I could see him now?” He asked hopefully.

It wasn’t exactly what Chekov had meant to convey, and wasn’t anything like the detailed and eloquent speech he’d rehearsed in his mind on the way down here. What he had gotten out sounded weak and fumbling in hindsight, and very random, but he hadn’t wanted to try and explain that he was worried. He couldn’t say why he was worried because he did trust Kirk, they were pack after all, and because if he said he was worried the captain would ask why. He couldn’t answer that why without betraying Sulu.

Chekov tensed slightly when Kirk hesitated, the captain glancing back towards his quarters. He didn’t know what that meant, and he hoped that he wasn’t going to get Sulu in trouble by being here. But, surely Kirk wouldn’t hold it against Sulu?

Kirk shifted slightly, frowning lightly as he looked back towards his quarters, then turned back to Chekov. “I don’t think now’s a great time.” He explained, shaking his head once. “He’s not exactly…” He trailed off as Chekov dropped his gaze, stepping back once with his hands behind his back.

“I am sorry to hawe interrupted, I vas just hoping-.“ He hated feeling nervous and unsure about Kirk, and he didn’t not really, it was just.. This felt too much like the few times he’d gone looking for Sulu on the Indiana in Jameson’s quarters.

Kirk cut him off, giving him a gentle smile. “You were worried, I understand. You guys are friends right, from the academy like you always said. I remember. You don’t have to apologize.” He bit back a sigh. Considering how Sulu was right now, he could completely understand that worry. “Just… hang out here for a second, let me ask Sulu if he is alright with it, and then you can come join us, okay?”

Chekov relaxed at the reassurance, smiling back at Kirk and brightening at the offer. He nodded eagerly and Kirk chuckled slightly and went back into his quarters.

~~~~~

Hikaru was really hating this rollercoaster of an evening, though he did appreciate the lack of physical pain. The comfortable floating feeling from before was gone and he was positive he’d managed to fuck things up completely. McCoy’s arm was still around his middle, holding him still, as Kirk walked away. McCoy’d said something about Kirk handling whoever was at the door, but Sulu hadn’t been paying that much attention to the words. He was too worried about the arm holding him close to the Alpha and the possibility that he’d angered the man by attempting to get up without permission.

Sulu flinched slightly as McCoy stroked his hair again, teeth clenched together so he would stay quiet through whatever followed. He’d been doing so good before, somehow, impossibly, he’d managed to please the Alpha. But of course, it was too much to think he’d be able to keep that up. He couldn’t make too much noise when Alpha started, or whoever it was out there would hear and-

“Yer thinkin too much.” McCoy huffed at him, curling around him and nuzzling the side of his throat. “Nobody’s gonna hurt ya, I promise. You can relax.” McCoy assured him, keeping his tone light and gentle. It was frustrating how easily the Omega’s calm was broken. Leonard had known as he’d done it that restraining Sulu would scare the kid. Letting him up to follow through with whatever training his previous Alpha had put him through would have done more to undo what little bit of balance he’d managed to bring to the Omega, so he’d opted for the less harmful road.

Either way, the kid was a tense mess again, flinching away from his touch. “You can relax.” McCoy repeated, rubbing his cheek against Sulu’s. “You’re safe, not gonna hurt ya.”

Sulu tried to obey and relax, focusing on McCoy’s easy, rhythmic breathing. Surprisingly, it worked. Hikaru found himself relaxing once more, surrounded by the warm scent of the alpha and lulled by the gently fingers through his hair.

It felt like hours might have passed, Sulu having sunk back down again, when he heard footsteps and then someone calling his name. Hikaru opened his eyes, not having registered he’d even closed them, looking up at Kirk. He wanted to whine in complaint when McCoy’s hand went still, halting the soothing sensation, but it did make focusing on Kirk’s words easier.

Sulu tensed, brow furrowing as Kirk mentioned Chekov. It was slightly difficult processing what the Alpha was saying, like trying to see through a thick glass in murky water. Apparently, Chekov was there, asking to see him?

“I’ll be good.” He forced out the words, meeting Kirk’s gaze. “I’ll tell him to go, you don’t have to… I’ll...” He stopped, twitching slightly as McCoy’s hand brushed his neck lightly, stroking the skin soothingly.

“No, Sulu, you don’t have to do anything. I just want to make sure you’re okay with him being here.” Kirk clarified, tone quiet.

Sulu tried to think, blinking up at the ceiling. If they weren’t going to do anything else, make _him_ do anything else, then yes. He was okay with that. Was even eager to see Pav. He nodded, hoping he hadn’t hesitated too long and missed this opportunity to see Chekov. Who knew when he would be allowed to leave the Alphas room. He watched warily as Kirk glanced at McCoy, heart skipping slightly though neither Alpha said anything. A moment later, Kirk turned and walked away.


	16. Reality Sucks

McCoy didn’t try to ease Sulu back down again when Kirk went to fetch Chekov. It was enough that the kid had calmed down, probably was more level now that he had been before, and it would do him good to see things with a clear head. There’d be more time to get him completely back to full health over the next few days. Leonard had known it wouldn’t be an instant thing anyway.

If nothing else, maybe the Russian would be able to alleviate most, or some, of the Omega’s fears. McCoy wasn’t sure how Sulu felt about Chekov, but he knew the navigator had been over the moon about his friend transferring. If Sulu felt the same friendship and trust he’d heard about from all of Pavel’s stories, then it stood to reason that Chekov would only be good for him.

He let his arms drop from around Sulu, nodding his head slightly when the Omega looked up at him. Apparently, that was all the reassurance, though McCoy was sure Sulu took it as permission, that the man needed. Hikaru sat up off of McCoy, scooting away slightly as Kirk returned, Chekov a half step behind him.

McCoy lifted an eyebrow at the way Sulu perked up just seeing Chekov. In an instant, there was a smile plastered on the Omega’s face, though his shoulders were still stiff with a nervous tension. Chekov looked just as delighted to see Sulu, though his smile looked more natural and sincere. Chekov hesitated on drawing nearer to Sulu, pausing and shifting his weight before sort of shuffling closer. It was odd, watching the usual exuberant Russian move slowly when it was so clear he just wanted to rush over.

“Karu, I’m sorry I vas not zhere to see you vhen you arrived.” Chekov said sounding a little nervous, still grinning for all he looked like he might cry at any moment. “Zhere was a leetle emergency and I-“

“And you had to go save the day.” Sulu interrupted, tone teasing if somewhat strained. “It’s fine Pav.” And for Sulu, it was fine. He understood that the ship and crew came before himself, knew his place. It was enough that Chekov was here, still thought of him as a friend. It had been such a relief and weight off his shoulders just hearing his old nickname again.

He began to scoot over, intending to give Chekov some room to sit, though froze when McCoy shifted in response. He glanced over at the Alpha, tension increasing in his body, but the doctor was simply straightening up, giving them more room. He could feel his pulse speeding up again, the Alpha was watching him in an appraising way. Sulu glanced away, dropping his gaze because, fuck, what if he’d done something wrong. Would the Alpha correct him now, with Chekov present? Would he wait, or would it even be him at all? Sulu had almost forgotten that it was _Kirk_ he was assigned to, not McCoy. Damn it, this was Kirk’s room, Kirk’s territory, and he’d basically ignored the Alpha.

“Karu?”

He jumped slightly as Chekov sat beside him, looking up at the Russian and putting on a smile. “Sorry Pav, got lost in thought.” He forced himself to answer through the rising panic, giving the weak excuse and hoping his friend wouldn’t question it.

“Aye.” Chekov nodded, though his expression was a mix of sadness and understanding. “I hawe done zhat many times. Zhere was zhis one time, ve vere orbiting zhip planet, and I just spent zhe whole time zhinking about how zhe game of hopscotch vhas inwented in Russia.”

Hikaru had never been more grateful for the genius Beta than at this very moment. With that one statement, both of the Alpha’s attentions turned to Chekov, Kirk letting out a little disbelieving laugh, demanding the full story. Chekov obliged, keeping the spotlight on him as he told what was obviously a very embellished and clearly fictitious story.

Sulu’d heard a version of it before (it changed every time Chekov told it), so he didn’t pay too much attention. He was somewhat distracted anyway by the way Chekov slipped a hand over, holding on to Hikaru’s wrist like he needed some grounding reassurance that the Omega was real. At least, that’s how the contact felt to Sulu, the pilot subtly shifting closer to Chekov as the story went on.

It didn’t help with his fear and nerves over how Kirk was going to deal with him later, but with both Alpha’s attention off of him, he was able to keep the panic at bay. Chekov was _here_ , was still his friend, was still _Pack_. After Pav had concluded his story, the three of them near effortlessly shifted into idle conversation.

Hikaru was perfectly content to just sit and listen, eyes following the conversation with interest. It was actually somewhat fascinating how the three of them were so relaxed, just chatting nonchalantly. Sulu’d been under the impression that Alpha’s didn’t really get along all that well with each other, considering the way Jameson had reacted every time Sulu so much as looked at another Alpha.   
The way they spoke, acted, it was almost like they were Pack. The two Alpha he was almost certain were, why else would they get along so well with him here. He wasn’t sure about Chekov, didn’t really want to think about it because that would mean the kid really had moved on, joined his own Pack and didn’t need, or possibly even want, Sulu. That Pav still had a hand around Sulu’s wrist, wasn’t complaining about the Omega sitting so close, was reassuring, but he still worried.

Hikaru flushed as his stomach chose the one moment there was a break in conversation to rumble loudly. He ducked his head as three pairs of eyes turned his way. It was a struggle not to cringe under the gaze of both Alpha’s, especially as Kirk chuckled softly.

Chekov let out an exaggerated gasp, rubbing his own stomach as if it had been him who’d made that noise. “Боже мой. Zhat reminds me, I hawe missed lunch!”

Sulu gave Chekov a look at that because, so long as he’d ever known the kid, he never volunteered to go eat. Hikaru had always been the one dragging him to the cafeteria or mess hall, so it was weird hearing him just declare he’d missed lunch like that. Of course, he knew Pav was doing it for his benefit, but he wasn’t sure how helpful that would end up being. Although, Kirk already had more than enough to hold him accountable for, so he guessed there wasn’t too much Chekov could do to inadvertently make it worse.

“Karu, you just hawe to see zhe cafeteria here. It is so much better, and zhe replicators, zhey are almost just like home cooked food.” Chekov added, bright eyes turning to look at Sulu.

McCoy snorted and Kirk laughed at that statement. “Remind me to invite you over next time I cook something home grown.” Kirk commented, grinning and shaking his head at Chekov. “You’ll never see replicator food the same way again.”

“Aye.” Chekov replied, looking over at Kirk with a wicked little grin. “I vould be much more zhankful for it zhen I’m sure.”

Sulu went still and tense beside Chekov at the comment, shifting closer to him in an almost protective way. If he weren’t so afraid, he might have been proud of the quip. It was the kind of sassy comeback he could see himself giving, if this had been another life, another time. Here and now, he would never dare speak an insult, no matter how jokingly, to an Alpha.

Normally Kirk would have laughed, maybe even thrown a pillow at Chekov in retaliation, all in good fun. The obvious distress and fear coming from the Omega, however, drained all the joviality from him. He wasn’t sure what had done it, though the way Sulu was slanting toward Chekov made him think it was the joke. Kirk let out a laugh, hoping it didn’t sound too forced, leaning back in an attempt to appear relaxed and at ease. “C’mon, I haven’t killed anyone yet with my cooking.”

Chekov chuckled, thought decidedly less cheerful than he had been moments before. Sulu felt so guilty at the way he’d just ruined the moment, completely messing up the cheerful atmosphere between the other three. He was an Omega, he was supposed to make thing smoother, not create awkward tension.

“I look forward to trying your cooking, Keptain.” Chekov broke the silence before it could become too awkward. He turned to look at Sulu, directing his next statement to the pilot. “Until zhen, Karu, vould you like to hawe lunch vith me?”

Sulu hesitated, instinctively looking over at Kirk first. Kirk was his Alpha and he’d done literally nothing for the man, so he wasn’t sure if it was alright for him to leave just yet. Kirk met his gaze for a moment before glancing behind him to McCoy. Sulu looked down, feeling that familiar panic rising again. Should he have been looking for permission from McCoy? Just how many times was he going to screw up today! At this rate, he’d be lucky if he could even walk by the time he’d gotten through whatever punishment Kirk would plan, much less be allowed back on duty.

Hikaru couldn’t answer Pav’s question, not without knowing it was okay with his Alpha, either Kirk or McCoy or both, but neither of them were saying anything. Sulu gave Chekov a sidelong glance as the kid spoke up again, this time directed towards Kirk. “If zhat is alright vith you, sir?”

“Yeah, no problem, go on. I got some reports and stuff I should probably do anyway.”

There was an undercurrent of relief in Kirk’s tone that Sulu didn’t understand. He didn’t dwell on it, just happy he was getting out of here for the time being. Chekov looped an arm around his, pulling him up off the couch and leading him out the door, speaking animatedly as he walked, describing some favorite dish of his that Hikaru simply _must_ try, it was ‘just like his grandmothers’.

Hikaru let Chekov pull him along, not daring to lift his gaze, afraid he might look at the Alpha and the man would change his mind. It wasn’t until they were out in the corridor, Chekov midway through his description, that Sulu began to relax. He pushed the thoughts of the Alpha’s from his mind, burying them away to focus on his friend. The kid was so animated and excited, Sulu found it easy to get lost in the here and now, feeling like, for the moment, everything was okay. He could imagine that he was okay, nothing had happened, they were the same two friends fresh out of the academy.


	17. Talks and Decisions

McCoy watched Sulu and Chekov leave, grimace forming on his face. Thank god for the Russian, he’d defused so many tense moments during the course of this little visit than he probably knew. It had been difficult for him to keep his temper reigned in and keep calm when Sulu had gone near rigid at the teasing joke Chekov had tossed Jim’s way. Just what the hell had happened aboard the Indiana. Sulu had looked like he expected some violent reaction.

McCoy looked over at Kirk, the man’s gaze also directed toward the now closed door, eyes hard and jaw tight. He leaned forward as Jim looked his way, resting his elbows on his knees and waiting. He knew the captain had questions, so did McCoy quite frankly. Unfortunately, the only one who could fully answer all of those questions was Sulu, and the doctor knew better than to think he’d be in any condition to do so any time soon.

“Bones, just… What the hell?” Kirk asked, not really sure where to start. He’d never had an Omega to take care of, much less one who had gone through the trauma of watching their Alpha die, so he sure as hell didn’t have any frame of reference for what had just happened. He was completely positive that none of it was normal, and neither were the little reactions that Sulu had made during the rest of the evening with Chekov. He hoped, wished, it was as simple as the Bond, but he knew it wasn’t.

McCoy tapped his finger on the arm of the couch for a moment before speaking. “Long story short, Jim, his previous Alpha, who was also his Bonded Alpha, was likely abusing him.” Personally, McCoy was confident enough to say that Jameson had definitely abused Sulu, though he left the ‘likely’ in there because he didn’t actually have concrete proof. Yet.

Kirk took a moment to try and process that, face scrunching up in confusion. “Can we make the short story long? How the hell does something like that even happen?” Really, he meant how did that happen with no one knowing, no one reporting anything. There were laws and agencies in place to protect Omega’s against this exact thing.

“I had a chat with Chekov, when the kid came looking for Sulu earlier today. The way the Lt. had been acting was familiar and it wasn’t until talking with Chekov that I really placed it. I asked him bout the Indiana and he started his usual stories. Getting him to talk about Sulu’s Alpha, Jameson, was something else.”

“I’m really not gonna like this, am I?” Kirk commented, already feeling the tension and anger.

McCoy shook his head with a humorless smirk, condensing Pavel's speech down to one sentence. “Basically, what Chekov told me, Sulu started seeing Jameson and all of sudden he’d flinch away, things like that. God only knows what happened once Chekov was transferred here.”

“Ah… crap, and then when Sulu stopped replying to Chekov’s messages. Jeez, that was… No wonder Chekov was so upset and worried when that happened.” Kirk realized, running a hand through his hair. Chekov had basically been depressed for the longest time and knowing this now, it was no wonder.

McCoy nodded slightly, frowning to himself. “Now that you mention it, that was right about when Sulu’s file lists the Bond was formed.”

Kirk let out a wordless noise of frustration, standing up abruptly and pacing a few steps.

“Why didn’t Chekov say anything, we could have helped, done something. Pressed charges against that Jameson guy, gotten Sulu transferred, anything.” Kirk asked, not really blaming Chekov at all, just confused and somewhat hurt that the Russian hadn’t trusted them enough.

McCoy sighed, mouth twisted in a grimace as he glanced toward the door then back to Kirk. He leaned forward again as he spoke, irritated as well at the missed opportunity, the length of time and pain Sulu'd had to suffer, but understanding exactly where Chekov had been coming from. “Jim, the kid’s a genius, no doubt, but he’s still a kid, was even younger two years ago. From what he told me, the captain and CMO over there told him to keep his mouth shut and leave it alone. He didn’t have any reason to think we’d do any different. You remember what he was like when he first got here. Hell, who knows, Chekov might’ve hinted at it and we just never noticed.”

They fell silent for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts, trying to think and see if they’d missed it. If they’d been guilty of ignoring a sign or hint that something had been wrong. Chekov had talked about his best friend so often, but had they ever really asked anything important about him? Kirk groaned, turning and throwing himself back down on the couch, throwing an arm over his forehead as he looked up at the ceiling. “Damn it, I feel so guilty.”

McCoy agreed with the sentiment, felt the same. “It’s because Chekov’s part of the Pack, and he thinks of Sulu that way, so it feels like you let down one of your own.” He stated, answering Kirk’s statement as if it had been a question. He certainly felt like he'd let them down. He let out a growl, lip curling in disgust. "Not to mention shit like this shouldn't even be happening. Civilized my ass." 

Kirk sighed, frustrated. “Pity Jameson’s dead.”

“If he wasn’t, Sulu’d probably still be stuck with him.” McCoy pointed out.

“Keep being so logical, you’ll put Spock out of a job.” Kirk smirked, looking over at McCoy and laughing at the affronted expression. He grew somber again quickly, looking back up at the ceiling. “I just mean it’s too bad he gets away with it, that’s all.”

“I’m going to make some inquiries chief medical officer on the Indiana, as well as the captain. You can bet your ass they won’t get away with anything.” Bones told him, tone resolute and angry. There was no way in hell that any competent doctor would have missed the signs. Domestic abuse might be rare in this day and age, but it still happened. After what he’d just seen, it was more than obvious that the abuse had been physical at the very least, and the CMO should have done something about it.

“That goes without saying. You know I’m gonna be doing the same.” Kirk snorted.

“The hell you will. Right now you got something more important to concentrate on.” McCoy returned hotly, glaring over at Jim. “Sulu needs help or trying to press charges against anyone’s gonna go straight to shit. I didn’t get anywhere close to getting him outta the woods today. God only knows how long it’s been since his hormones have been anywhere near where they need to be. That Bond he had kept him straight enough he wasn’t in physical pain or in danger of his body shutting down. With that gone, all that time he’s gone without, it’s taking a toll.”

Kirk sat up, brow furrowing at Bones fervent tirade. “Shit, really? He looked okay when he left…”

McCoy rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. “That’s because he was semi balanced when he left, a temporary fix, and probably feeling happy just having Chekov there. Give him a few hours and he’ll probably be right back to how he was before, when he first showed up.”

“Damn it, you mean he’s gonna have to go through all that again?” Kirk groaned again, putting his face in his hand and rubbing roughly.

McCoy sighed, because yeah, he could understand why that was upsetting to Kirk. Hell, he didn’t like it either. “It’s not gonna be easy, and you’ll probably scare him a lot, but until you know more of what to avoid, just stick to the basics. Of course, still call me if something like tonight happens again.”

“You think it will?” Kirk asked, looking up, chin resting in his hands.

“Probably, and if you or I can’t calm him down we might need to consider different options. It wouldn’t be best for him psychologically to put him on medication, but too much stress like tonight could start shutting his body down.” McCoy frowned, brow furrowing as he watched Kirk take that in. “I can take over if you want, Jim, but he might not take that well. There’s a possibility he might view it as a rejection or some sign that he’s done something wrong.”

Kirk shook his head, almost growling at the insinuation that he couldn’t take care of his Pack. “No, Bones I got it. Just… focus on looking into the Indiana, you know you’ll have my full support. I’ll focus on helping Sulu and once he’s alright I’ll make inquiries of my own.”

McCoy nodded, hiding a smirk, there was that cocky, headstrong James T. Kirk. Bones knew it would be a long while before Sulu was ‘alright’, but give it a few weeks and he’d at least be stable enough physically that Kirk could turn his attention to digging up some information on the captain of the Indiana.

He knew they’d also need Sulu’s own testimony to make anything really stick. What Chekov had told him would be enough to get the ball rolling probably, but they'd need more than that to try and bring about any legal repercussions. But for any of that to be possible, the Omega was going to have to trust them. At least enough to open up about what had happened. That would take time, McCoy was well aware, but he had no intention of just remaining idle in the meantime.


	18. Morning After

Sulu woke feeling surprisingly well rested, safe and warm. It took him a moment to realize why, the pilot blinking in confusion at the body lying next to him in the bed. He tensed for a moment, pulse jumping before he recognized the red curls and the familiar scent of Pav. He smiled, relaxing again. This was just like the old days, falling asleep in each other’s rooms after staying up too late talking or watching dumb movies.

Hikaru stretched, purposefully shaking Chekov in the process. He couldn’t remember what time Pav had to go on shift, wasn’t even sure Chekov had mentioned it the night before, but he clearly remembered his friend promising to give him a tour of the hot spots on the ship. Unfortunately, the Enterprise was too big to see the whole thing in one day, something he’d had to point out to the over eager Russian.

Chekov murmured something, sitting up and wiping his hands over his face for a moment. Sulu tilted his head, confused at the way Chekov looked so sad. He wondered if he’d done something wrong, maybe should have gone back to his own room after the kid had fallen asleep. He dropped his gaze, feeling stupid and nervous as he started to pull away and stand up.

He flinched as Chekov’s gaze snapped over to him at the movement, freezing in place. He smiled crookedly as Chekov’s face lit up, the Beta shuffling over with a joyful grin. “You’re still here!” He cried out, so obviously delighted and relieved that Sulu couldn’t help but relax, sitting back down on the bed. He was being ridiculous, he knew that. Of course, he berated himself, Pav wouldn’t be upset with him for staying, how many times had they slept over in each other’s rooms? It was stupid to think that would have changed. Stupid, dumb Omega.

“Karu, you should hawe voken me vhen you got up.” Chekov chided, grinning nonstop as he shook his head. For a moment, he’d thought it had been some too good to be true dream. But here was Sulu, just where he remember him being when he’d fallen asleep.

Sulu shrugged, getting comfortable as Pav got up and started moving around and getting ready. “I just woke up a moment ago, so, I guess I sorta did?” He hadn’t meant for it to come out as a question, hated the feeling of unease growing in his stomach.

Chekov paused, uniform hanging in his hands as he looked over at Sulu with a puzzled expression. “Just voke up? Normally you are more, how did you use to describe it, zombie like?”

Sulu chuckled at that, amused at hearing the expression coming from Pav. “Yeah, I guess I just… got used to waking up quick.” He shrugged again, glancing away. It had been either that or learn how to live without sleep. Jameson hadn’t always given Sulu a lot of heads up when he called for him, and had done so in the middle of the night more than a few times. He no longer had the luxury of being able to wake up slowly and easily, Jameson had been quick to break him of that bad habit.

Chekov looked down at the uniform in his hands, unable to look at the tense expression on his friend’s face. Sulu had never been a morning person and, while it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, it was odd to see him that way now. He just wished the change had been something Hikaru’d had a choice in. “Vell… I vill be, uh, right back.” He tossed out lamely, heading to the restroom to change, needing a moment to compose himself in any case.

Chekov dressed quickly, though he paused for a moment to look at his reflection. He took a deep breath, reminding himself that Sulu was really here. It hurt seeing his friend so uneasy and out of sorts, afraid even. It was just like before on the Indiana, but somehow worse. Hikaru had looked almost afraid of _him_ when he’d first woken up. He never wanted Karu to be afraid of him, never.

He knew that Kirk was different than Jameson, would not hurt Sulu like the other Alpha had. Chekov had gotten to know the captain, trust him, in the two years since he’d joined the Enterprise crew and Kirk’s close Pack. But…

Sulu had seemed so normal, like his old self, after they’d left Kirk’s quarters. They’d had dinner, talked and laughed, and Karu had even fallen asleep during one of Chekov’s stories that night. He’d been relaxed and at ease, but now he was back to being afraid again. It left Chekov wondering and worrying about what had happened before he’d shown up, before McCoy had left sickbay to answer Jim’s call.

Chekov straightened, he didn’t have time to be in here moping and worrying. His best friend was waiting on him and he didn’t want to cause any more stress by standing here doubting. He went back into the room, keeping his smile in place even though Sulu was standing nervously waiting for him. “You probably vant to change, and ve can go hawe some breakfast before zhat tour I promised you. If you are still up for it?”

Sulu smiled, some of the tension bleeding out of him. “Yeah, of course, yeah. That sounds perfect.”

The walk to Sulu’s quarters was quiet, the Omega acting subdued despite his agreement of the plan. Chekov tried starting a conversation a couple of times, but didn’t join in and only looked nervous when the navigator looked at him expecting an answer. Chekov let it drop, wondering if Hikaru had changed his mind. They stopped outside Sulu’s room, Chekov biting his tongue when Sulu hesitated outside the door. “I- I can vait here, if you vant?”

Sulu gave him a nervous smile, tone apologetic. “Yeah, sorry, I won’t… I’ll just be a minute, and, and you’re still okay with showing me around, yeah?”

Chekov smiled, nodding eagerly. “Of course, Karu.”

Reassured that he wasn’t being some burden, Sulu entered his room, hurrying to shower and change. He knew he should probably just put on new clothes and go, not keep Pavel waiting so long. He just knew that he would be going to see both Alpha’s at some point later in the day and he wasn’t sure how either of them would react to Chekov’s scent on him.

Hikaru wasn’t sure how the Alpha’s expected him to act or behave, whether they’d be offended that he’d spent the night with Chekov instead of them, no matter how platonic a relationship he had with the Beta. Chekov was like a little brother, but Jameson had still gotten jealous more than once. Sulu wasn’t sure he’d have time to shower later after the tour, before he was scheduled to go to sickbay, so doing so now was the best idea. Unlike an Alpha, Pav wouldn’t be upset or angry with him for taking that little bit of extra time.

Sulu put on a smile as he left his quarters, reaching over to tug at one of Chekov’s sleeves. “C’mon, what are you waiting for, show me around. I know the perfect place to start, the cafeteria. Gotta make sure you eat breakfast.”

Chekov laughed, heart lightening at the joke. “Of course, zhe most important meal of zhe day.”

Sulu nodded, laughing along with Chekov. He let Pavel loop an arm through his, glad for the contact. He didn’t think he’d be brave enough to make the first move, but the feel of Chekov’s arm in his was reassuring, a grounding feeling.

He knew he should probably be concerned about the way his emotions were all over the place, and he hadn’t forgotten about the upcoming punishment he’d be getting from Kirk or the checkup he had scheduled with McCoy. For now, it was enough to see Chekov grinning and walking beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sulu's just... all over the place in this chapter it feels like. Poor thing.


	19. Chekov’s a Tour Guide Now (Tour Guides are Cool)

Chekov was delighted that Sulu’s upbeat mood lasted all the way to the cafeteria, and throughout breakfast. Hikaru had looked a little unsure, initially, when they’d entered the cafeteria, but Chekov was proud to say he’d distracted his friend, getting him to relax despite whatever it was that had worried him.

Pavel wasn’t used to be the one who talked the most, so he ended up talking a lot about the Academy days. At least this time he had someone who knew all the references and could add in any details that he’d missed. They laughed through the meal and, by the time they were done and the table cleared, it looked to Chekov like Sulu was just fine, back to his normal self.

“Ve should start on Deck 5.” Chekov said, thinking aloud as they walked out of the cafeteria. “It is zhe best place to hang out, it is like a… a sort of lounge?” He grinned at the snort of laughter that came from Sulu.

“You been here for two years and you still don’t know what it’s called?”

“Of course I know vhat eet is call.” Chekov sulked, pouting comically in Sulu’s direction. “Ewery one calls it somezhing different all zhe time zhough.”

Sulu just snickered at him. “Lead the way then, navigator.”

Chekov stuck his tongue out at the pilot, but did just that, leading the way to the forward section of Deck 5, animatedly describing some of the sections they passed. Some of them were simple little things, this area of the deck he’d first run into so and so who could program the replicator to make the best muffins, or this room was home to the most OCD of all the crew. Others were impressive labs or star rooms, holding advanced scientific equipment and vast resources of data.

There weren’t many of the crew wandering the halls or hanging out in the lounge, it was still sort of early after all. But, by the time Chekov got to one of the main areas of the ship he’d just been itching to show Sulu, it was a bit busier. Still, Pavel was delighted to see that Sulu was still every bit as relaxed and interested as when they’d started. It was with no little amount of anticipation and pride that the Russian led Sulu into engineering, waving a hand at the impressive warp core and grinning widely.

Sulu looked at the core, eyes roving over the bustle of activity and could only utter one word. “Wow.”

“Aye, she’s a beaut, innit she?” A Scottish voice laughed, drawing both Sulu and Chekov’s attention away from the organized chaos that was engineering. “Twin exhaust impulse drive, warp core comprised of multiple reactors. Best the Federation has to offer, don’t you let anyone tell ya otherwise.”

Sulu lifted an eyebrow, glancing over at Chekov as the Russian grinned and called out to the man. “Mister Scotty! I vas just giwing Hikaru a tour, I zhout he might like to see zhe heart of vhat he vill be flying.”

“Ah! The new pilot! Pleasure ta meet ya, sir. Montgomery Scott, but everyone just calls me Scotty.” He introduced himself, taking a long step forward and holding his hand out to Sulu.

Hikaru blinked in surprise, automatically shaking the man’s hand, unused to the friendly gesture. It was really very contrary to how the Beta’s on the Indiana had acted, but he guessed maybe it had to do with the fact that he’d only been around a day. Give it time and they’d probably all ignore him once Kirk staked his claim. Sulu looked over at Chekov as the Russian spoke up in clarification.   
“Mister Scott is zhe chief engineer, zhe one zhat I hawe been shadowing.”

“Lads a wizard, gonna put me outta work into early retirement. Not that I’m complainin, mind, I’m more than happy for more hands to keep this lovely lady runnin smooth.”

Sulu thought it was just the tiniest bit weird how Scotty talked about the ship, but the Beta seemed friendly enough, and Chekov seemed to really like him, so who was he to judge. He’d probably think the same thing, or near to, once he had the opportunity to actually fly the ship. He followed along with the two Beta’s as Scotty took over the tour, describing the engine with a sort of loving tone.

“She’s got a lot o’ power in her, ta be sure. But the impulse and warp drive are regulated on the bridge, so that’ll be you two up there dealin with that.” Scotty was saying, turning to walk backwards for a moment as he grinned at the two of them. Hikaru was impressed at the way he effortlessly navigated the busy area, throwing Chekov a grin as soon as the Scot had turned back around. “Here in engineering we got more a monitor and maintenance, but we can drop her outta warp in an emergency if we have ta.”

The tour of engineering was long and indepth, but Sulu wouldn’t have thought about complaining. It was fascinating, all of it, and he could see why Chekov was so excited to be shadowing Scotty. If anyone had asked Hikaru, he might have told them that the man knew more about engineering and the inner workings of the ship than even the designers knew.

Sulu had a grin on his face, feeling like he was a kid again as he and Chekov stepped into the turbo lift to head to the bridge. Chekov was grinning right back at Sulu, tilting his head and asking cheekily. “Vell, vhat do you zhink?”

“Let’s just say, I don’t think you could have found a better mentor to teach you literally everything about any engineering question ever, than that man.” Sulu answered honestly. Starfleets best and brightest, that much was glaringly obvious, and Sulu hoped he was up to the challenge of keeping up with them.

Chekov giggled lightly, bouncing in place a little, overjoyed that Sulu liked Scotty. He looked up to the man as a mentor, not to mention he had a sense of humor and great personality. “I hawe saved zhe best for last, zhough. Just vait till you see zhe bridge!”

Hikaru would hardly call it ‘saving the best for last’ because they’d waited to see the bridge, simply due to the fact that Chekov would have to start his shift and it was just easier to end the tour there. Still, he wasn’t going to point that out and spoil the fun. He was looking forward to seeing it. Going by the difference in literally every other room on this ship, it was guaranteed to be leaps and bounds ahead of what he’d had to work with on the Indiana.

Chekov grinned as the doors of the lift opened on the bridge, stepping out and looking expectantly at Sulu. He knew the place looked spectacular, especially in comparison to the bridge of the Indiana. Sulu did not disappoint, eyes lighting up and a grin curling on his face as he took it in.

The bridge on the Enterprise was easily twice the size of the Indiana, and after having seen engineering and the power in the ship, Sulu was just itching to get back on duty and get behind the helm. The ship was gorgeous from the outside, but this was amazing on a whole new level. His glee and excitement were cut short, grin sliding from his face as his eyes landed on the one in the captain’s chair. He froze, coming to a complete halt a few paces away from the turbo lift as the man glanced their way. Alpha. There were three Alpha’s on the Enterprise.

Spock paid little attention to the turbo lift when it opened, it was perfectly normal for crew to come and go from the bridge along their normal duties. The scent of Omega drew his attention a moment later and he looked over to see that the man had accompanied Ensign Chekov to the bridge. Curious, because to his knowledge the Lt. had not yet been cleared for duty, Spock rose and made his way over.

Ensign Chekov turned to greet him, bouncing slightly with excitement. “Mister Spock, zhis is my friend, Lt. Sulu. I vas giwing him a tour of zhe ship.”

Spock inclined his head at that. The idea made sense logically, it was easier to navigate a new location if one had a guide rather than simply studying the layout using blueprints, the Ensign would also have more personal knowledge to share than simple specs. The only flaw in the Ensign’s plan was the sheer size of the ship he was attempting to tour. “A respectable goal, though I do not believe you will have time to complete that task before your shift begins.”

‘Yes, sir.” Chekov agreed. “Zhat is vhy ve hawe ended zhe tour here for zhe day.”

Spock heard Chekov’s reply, but his main focused had shifted onto Sulu, perplexed at the reaction his words had garnered from the Omega. Sulu was tense, breathing in a way that suggested it was a forced even tempo, and the scent of the Omega’s fear was growing rapidly. The Vulcan was unused to dealing with Omega’s, for all that among his own race the designation was more plentiful that that among the humans. Lt. Sulu’s distress had already caused Chekov to go still and quiet, frowning in concern, and Spock thought it best to act before the situation worsened.

“Mister Sulu, you welcome on the bridge, however, you must first be cleared by the chief medical officer before you will be placed back on duty.” Spock had never spoken using that commanding tone all Alpha’s possessed, had never needed to do so before, but he was pleased to see it had the desired effect. As he had meant them to, his words and tone allowed the man to feel accepted in this space, calming and soothing the fear from his scent.

Hikaru’s gaze drifted slowly up to meet Spocks, some of the tension leaving him at the calm and even tone. Vulcan, his mind supplied, this Alpha was Vulcan. The realization was almost a relief. At least _this_ Alpha would never be angry or possessive with him. “I understand, thank you, Sir.” He glanced over at Chekov, forcing a smile. “I should get going though, not keep you from starting your shift. Got to go to medbay anyway.”

Sulu felt guilty at the now somber expression on Chekov’s face, but the Russian nodded. “I vill see you later, alright?”

Hikaru nodded agreement, glancing over at Spock for a moment. The Vulcan inclined his head slightly and Sulu took that as permission to go. He didn’t have too much time left before he was supposed to be in sickbay, and was relieved the Alpha didn’t want him to linger. With one last glance at Chekov, Sulu turned and left the bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so Spock's an Alpha which I was completely on the fence about. But I couldn't really see him as anything other (I'm going to pretend it's not because of the McSpirk loving part of myself).  
> I'm kind of interested to see how that plays out in the story, because right now, I don't even know.


	20. Check Ups

Sulu made his way to sickbay, a little bewildered by the friendly greetings and smiles he kept getting from the crew on the way there. He didn’t know any of them, and he knew they didn’t know him, but most of them at least nodded and smiled in his direction. It was surreal and weird, and oddly enough, vaguely threatening. Why the _hell_ was everyone so interested in him?

Of course, the moment after he had that thought he realized how paranoid that sounded. But he was so used to everyone always ignoring him, like he didn’t exist. When he’d been walking the halls with Chekov it hadn’t been strange, they might have been acknowledging him, sure, but that as because they’d seen Chekov first, and that he was with the Beta. What was so interesting about him? He was just the Omega, he couldn’t understand what the deal was.

He made it to the medical bay feeling stressed and uneasy, entering the doors and looking around. He hadn’t really paid much attention to the layout the first time he’d come in here, too surprised by the presence of the Alpha. Now though, he realized it was quite a bit larger than the one on the Indiana. That fact shouldn’t have been surprising, literally _everything_ about the Enterprise was larger than the Indiana. The medbay had a larger number of crewmembers that would be flowing through it, so of course it had to have the size and capacity to keep up.

It was almost empty, only a few officers be treated by some of the nurses and doctors, and a couple patients lying down. The atmosphere was calm and focused, at odds with the anxious tightness Sulu was feeling, though it did help him calm some of those anxieties.

He swallowed nervously as a nurse approached, smiling sweetly at him, her blonde hair pinned up in a professional manner. “Lieutenant.” She greeted him, gaze dropping to the bars on his uniform that signified his rank, then looking back to his eyes.

“Sulu.” He provided his name at the short pause. “Hikaru. I’m, supposed to have an appointment with Doctor McCoy?” He didn’t see the Alpha anywhere, and he hoped he hadn’t gotten the time wrong. The Alpha had said something about usually having to hunt people down for their appointments that first time they’d met. He looked over at the time as the nurse led him forward, double checking to make sure he wasn’t late, worried that maybe the Alpha had gone off looking for him because he hadn’t arrived on time.

Turned out he was a few minutes early, so that was one worry off his mind. He was uncertain whether being early in this setting would count as being disobedient, he didn’t have any experience on dealing with an Alpha in the medbay. He turned his attention to the nurse as she started talking, patting a biobed to indicate where he should wait.

“It’s nice to meet you Mister Sulu, my name is Christine Chapel, you’re a little bit early so you can just hang out here if you don’t mind. Doctor McCoy will be over in a minute. He’ll be delighted having a patient who is so prompt.”

She seemed sweet and kind, but her words made no sense. He couldn’t even begin to connect the emotion of ‘delighted’ with any Alpha, even one who’d been so patient as McCoy had. Pleased, yeah sure, maybe. Not normally with him, but yeah. Delighted, though? No.

He nodded in agreement, because she was waiting for some kind of acknowledgement, for some reason, instead of just telling him to stay and leaving. She gave him another smile, telling him to just call for her if he needed anything, and then left.

Hikaru spent the time just watching the nurses and other doctors go about their duties. It was almost relaxing, interesting to watch them move, they all worked together very well. After a while, he heard Nurse Chapel speak McCoy’s name and looked over to see the Alpha had appeared and was headed his way. He straightened up minutely, eyes dropping to his lap as McCoy came over. He wasn’t entirely sure what was expected of him, if Kirk’s permission for this Alpha to do what he wanted still stood.

“Easy, Mister Sulu.” McCoy spoke calmly, closing the last bit of distance with even steps. He might not know what was going on in the Omega’s head, but this visit wasn’t starting off any better than the first one had considering the tension in Sulu’s shoulders.

McCoy flipped a switch, activating the scanner on the biobed and looking at the readout for a moment. “You’ll be pleased to know you’re showing some improvement from yesterday.” He informed Sulu, glancing over when the Omega tilted his head slightly, brow furrowed in confusion. McCoy pursed his lips, hoping Sulu wasn’t confused just because he was telling him what was going on, but willing to bet that was the case. “Come back here same time tomorrow and if it’s any better we’ll talk bout putting you back on duty. For now, I’m gonna give you some supplements, your body had quite a shock, yesterday didn’t help any, and it can use all the help it can get to get back in balance.”

McCoy worked as he spoke, following through on his words after telling Sulu what he was going to do. “Gonna take a blood sample as well, your file is missing that information, god knows why, and it’s just faster to fill in the blanks this way.” The doctor paused at this step, waiting a few moments to see if Sulu had any questions or concerns about this, but the Omega simply held out his arm.

That wasn’t exactly reassuring behavior, nor was the way Sulu twitched away slightly when McCoy took hold of his arm to draw the blood. The doctor kept his touch light, not trying to keep Sulu’s arm still by force, and waited another moment before taking the sample.

It was difficult for Sulu to be too worried, not with the way McCoy was describing every step of what he was about to do, and keeping Hikaru informed while he was doing it. He still felt that nervous fear because of the Alpha’s simple presence, but at least he knew what the man was doing. Even when the Alpha had moved to hold his arm to take the blood, he’d flinched out of reflex rather than real fear. His prior CMO had never bothered to explain, just did his tests, scans, or injections without a word and sent the Omega on his way. Sulu never realized just how nerve wracking that had been until he had someone who was willing to keep up a running commentary on what was about to happen.

McCoy turned off the scanner and stepped back when he was finished, entering the data into Sulu’s file before turning to him again. He didn’t want to scare the pilot, but he needed to get across the importance of what he had to say. He kept his tone gentle, but stern as well. It would only make things that much worse if the pilot didn’t follow through with what he told him.

“Like I said yesterday, Kirk’s gonna have the next two days off, and you’re not on duty yet either. I don’t expect you to spend that entire time with Kirk, and neither does he. Doctor’s orders though, you spend at least thirty minutes with him each day for the next week. All the better if you can stay down longer, but it’s okay if you don’t, so don’t stress about time. If you feel comfortable with it, it’ll help you recover faster if you go to Kirk more than once each day for the next couple days that both of you are off duty.”

Sulu ducked his head, cringing in on himself at those words. Damn it. Fuck, that was… Every day, for a whole week, he didn’t… he hadn’t expected that. His heart was pounding at the thought and he was so glad that McCoy had turned off the scanner, the thing would probably have gone haywire right about now. How the hell was he supposed to survive that, then go back on duty during and after a week of seeing the Alpha _every day_? And McCoy wanted him to do that more than once a day? And what the hell did he even mean by 'if he felt comfortable'?

Staying where he was, because he could see the tension in Sulu and knew advancing on the Omega would just make it worse, Bones added in a gentler tone. “You and the Captain can work out a different time table after your body and hormones are at a more stable level. You’ll also need to come back here, same time as now, for the next few days.”

McCoy knew that Sulu would have to regularly check in with sickbay for more than just the next few days, but it wouldn’t always have to be a daily thing. He’d broach that topic at a later time however, seeing as he’d already pushed Sulu far enough with what he had to do already.

Work out a new time table, yeah right. Sulu knew what that meant, he’d go from having to see the Alpha every day to seeing him whenever the Alpha told him to show up. And he was going to have to come here every day to see this Alpha? It didn’t take much to read between those lines. After those few days he'd probably have a whole different 'time table' with this Alpha. Jameson had said once that Omega’s were just irresistible, the scent, the feel. Apparently McCoy felt the same way and, even though Sulu was assigned to Kirk, he wanted a bit of his own.

It wasn’t… unexpected, he supposed, resignation already setting in. He was the Omega, was supposed to make sure the Pack ran smoothly and that meant keeping the resident Alpha’s happy. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to do that with _three_ of them, though. But, the Vulcan wasn’t human, so he might not be interested, and so long as he had time to shower in between each Alpha, get the other’s scent off of him, maybe he could make it work?

Fuck, that was… no. That wouldn’t even begin to… Sulu was beginning to regret ever setting foot on this ship. He’d gone from hell straight to some sort of insane kind of purgatory. “Yes, Sir. May…” Sulu bit his tongue, but he’d already started to ask, so he just hunched his shoulders and continued. “May I go, Sir?”

McCoy felt sick hearing the tone that Sulu used, the pilot sounded so hopeless. He hated it, hated that he’d been the one to do that to him. Yet, Sulu needed the time with an Alpha in order to live, it had gone beyond the point of just being uncomfortable to go without. He hadn’t expected Sulu to react _this_ badly though, and it only hardened his resolve to see those that had allowed this to happen brought to justice.

“Yeah. Yeah, you can go.” He spoke the words gently, soft and quiet, trying to convey some sort of comfort to Sulu. He clenched his teeth at the near inaudible “thank you, Alpha” that Sulu muttered before leaving, closing his eyes against a wash of guilt. If he ever got his hands on those bastards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For me, this chapter was a roller coaster of emotions from start to finish.


	21. Take it from the Top Let’s Go Again

McCoy had put Kirk on medical leave for the next couple days, really it was just for Sulu but he was okay with it because it gave him time to do research. Jim had never thought there would be a day in which he was glad to be on leave, to be doing research, but here it was. After that very stressful first time meeting Sulu, Kirk was determined things would go better today.

Bones had said stick to the basics, if he could get Sulu to set some boundaries that was great, but otherwise, just go with the basics. Beyond any personal preference and desires that differed from one Omega to the next, generally the basic requirements to keep them in balance was as simple as contact with an Alpha and a safe calming place to just let go. If Sulu didn’t want, or was unable, to discuss any limits, then Kirk was going to have to deal with taking him through a virtual landmine of potential triggers for the time being.

Frustrating as it was for Jim, because it just ate at him having someone on his crew literally afraid of him, he didn’t have much of a choice. McCoy’d made it clear that this could easily become life threatening to the pilot. Kirk sat down, taking a deep breath and focusing. He could do this, and if he ran into any trouble, McCoy’d assured him he’d be there to help. Lt. Sulu was going to show up at any moment, and it wouldn’t do anyone any favors if Kirk couldn’t get himself under control before then. His own frustration and worries could wait for another time.

He’d decided that maybe trying to copy what McCoy had done would probably not end well. He didn’t want to inadvertently panic Sulu by doing something and not having the insight that somehow McCoy always seemed to have to set things right. Bones had suggested something that would allow both of them to just sit and relax, but would make it feel to Sulu like some, if not all, of Kirk’s focus was _not_ on him. Bones had said it had something to do with not feeling pressure to perform or guess what Kirk was thinking or wanted.

McCoy had also said that he might as well go ahead and prepare himself for Sulu to react negatively more than once. His best bet was to take it easy and slow, and in a pinch, just stick to short, easy to follow commands. Too many choices could potentially lead Sulu to freeze up, which would only stress him out if/when he assumed that had made Kirk angry.

It felt like no time at all before he heard the chime to his quarters, and he stood up and called for Sulu to enter.

~~

Sulu was already shaking when he entered Kirk’s quarters. He knew McCoy wouldn’t be there, was relieved about that right now. After the visit to sickbay and the conversation with the doctor, he wasn’t sure he would be able to deal with even looking at the Alpha right now. And he really, really hoped that maybe McCoy wouldn’t have told Kirk about the little bit of disrespect he’d shown at the end of that visit.

There was already so much Kirk had could, and likely would, hold him accountable for right now though, so really, he supposed that it would only be degrees of hell. He kept his eyes trained to the floor as he moved forward, coming to a stop midway in the room. He felt like he couldn’t breathe through the panic in his chest when Kirk moved toward him, heart thundering so loud he would have sworn that the Alpha could hear it. Hikaru began to sink to his knees, but before he could he was stopped by Kirk.

Jim didn’t mean to do it, but seeing Sulu start to kneel again, he just blurted out “no.” He bit his lip the instant it came out. Sulu stopped, of course, standing there with his head tilted slightly, waiting for something to follow most likely. This was not how Kirk had wanted to start things, had just reacted on instinct trying to keep this from dissolving into a repeat of last night.

What a splendid way to start, yell at the Omega. Damn it, he was supposed to be keeping this light and positive. He took a breath. “Sorry, I’m not mad, just, you don’t… you don’t have to kneel, it’s okay.” Sulu didn’t look up at him, was cringing away from him somewhat. Damn it, Sulu had barely just walked in and he’d already scared the guy.

“Sulu? Hey, can you look at me?” Kirk asked, soft and light because it looked like Hikaru might bolt at the slightest provocation. He was surprised when the pilot obeyed instantly. Fuck, shit, and damn it. Sulu had a faraway look in his eyes, pupil too large and his entire expression screaming fear. He moved closer slowly, reminding himself that he could do this, McCoy was waiting around doing nothing in case he needed him. Kirk was determined to at least try and calm Sulu down before calling in the cavalry though.

Kirk frowned to himself, worried when Hikaru dropped his gaze upon him getting closer. He was within arm’s reach, but Kirk didn’t make a move to touch him. “Hey, Sulu, can you look up at me?” He asked again, putting on a reassuring smile in place of the worried frown, determined not to make this worse.

“Good, good.” He said, trying to put as much calm into his tone as he could when the Omega met his eyes again. Sulu’d reacted positively to praise the other night with McCoy, so maybe copying him on this one thing would work? He didn’t press forward, glancing over the tense, shivering Omega. “Easy Sulu, it’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you. I have a movie I wanted to watch, even got some popcorn.

All I want you to do is sit with me, watch the movie. Okay?”

Kirk backed away, gesturing for Sulu to follow, taking it one step at a time. Sulu stopped once Kirk had gotten far enough to stand beside the couch, dropping his eyes from Kirk’s and looking to the side. He was shaking harder than before, breath coming in quick little pants as he let out a quiet whimper.

Jim wanted to curse, biting his tongue though, and thinking. This wasn’t working, was quickly derailing into a scene much too like the one from yesterday, but much worse. His method of trying to coax Sulu into sitting down and relaxing was not working and was actually going so spectacularly wrong he’d be surprised if Bones didn’t just ban him from ever even looking at the pilot again.

He knew he should probably call Bones, he had his comm on him ready to go and everything, but something just told him that wouldn’t be the greatest idea. Besides, he’d already decided he wasn’t going to transfer the assignment to McCoy, so he needed to deal with this himself. He was a captain of a starship, he dealt with people all the time, he gave orders all the time, he could deal with this. He’d take a page out of McCoy’s book and, if that failed, then he’d call the doctor here.

Feeling woefully unprepared, despite the many talks he’d had with McCoy and the many different techniques he’d researched, Kirk straightened, speaking to Sulu and putting a hint of Alpha command into the tone. “Sulu, I want you to come over here.”

Kirk was surprised at how instantaneously and drastically those words affected Sulu. The Omega was still tense, yes, but he’d stopped shaking and immediately took the three steps over to stand in front of Kirk. He knew the kid was still terrified, absolutely reeked of it, but he reached out to take Sulu’s hand anyway. “Come on, over here.”

Sulu balked initially at the familiarity of that phrase, but the words were different, the tone was different, so maybe the outcome would be different as well. He moved along willingly when Kirk took his hand, knowing better than to hesitate or pull away. He still didn’t really believe the part about just watching a moving and sitting, knowing there had to be something else Alpha wanted from him. There was always something else.

He sat on the couch when Kirk instructed him to, back rigid and waiting for further orders. He knew better than to lift his eyes when Kirk moved around to sit beside him, could feel the Alpha’s gaze on him. Hikaru didn’t want to give him anything else to punish him for, didn’t want to break whatever miracle was keeping Alpha from starting the punishments he’d earned earlier.

He flinched at every little movement that Alpha made, trying to just breathe, why couldn’t he breathe right now? The room was swimming around him, (damn it why couldn’t he just breath?!), and Alpha was speaking, to him? Maybe. He should answer, or did he need to obey? There was a touch on his shoulder and he flinched away, scooting back on the couch a foot before freezing. No. Fuck, no, he wasn’t supposed to move away.

He was panting, dragging in ragged ineffectual breaths as he waited for Alpha to retaliate, grab him. Alpha would have him by the hair, shove him against the couch, force himself down Sulu’s throat. He’d been bad, so disobedient that it wouldn’t end there. Alpha would beat him til he bled, screaming and pleading for him to stop. Would force him to lie still while…

He felt hands on his neck, fingers resting so lightly against his throat then a slight pinch at the side of his neck. He heard a voice, a command though he couldn’t really process the words. He obeyed it though, breathing in slow and deep, letting it out when instructed. He repeated the motion again when he was told. After a third time, he felt a hand stroke his cheek once and shuddered at the deep Alpha tone speaking a word of praise.

Hikaru blinked slowly, the world coming back into focus, instinctively continuing to obey the Alpha in front of him as he was coached through the next few breaths. He watched in a kind of haze as Alpha reached up to pet his cheek, again praising him for obeying. He was just breathing, was that… was…

But it didn’t matter, because Alpha was pleased so who was he to question it.

Everything was slowing down, Hikaru felt so tired. His brow furrowed, realizing that it was McCoy in front of him. What… what was… Where was Kirk? He blinked, struggling to open his eyes again, looking around sluggishly. He didn’t have to go far, finding the missing Alpha sitting near right beside him on the coffee table.

“Mister Sulu, can you hear me?”

Sulu turned his attention back to McCoy, humming in answer because he couldn’t do words right now. McCoy didn’t seem to mind, stroking his cheek again and Sulu leaned into the contact. McCoy’s hand was wet, he realized, why was that? He frowned, confused and concerned, but McCoy was speaking again, and he needed to listen.

“You tired, Sulu?”

Hikaru hummed again, because yeah, he was and suddenly Kirk was behind him on the couch and Sulu was okay with that, but how had he gotten there so fast?

“You can rest, Sulu. Just relax.”

Sulu didn’t answer that one, it wasn’t a question, he didn’t need too, right? He lay back against the warmth behind him when a gentle hand tugged him back, what was that? That’s right, that’s right, he remembered, it was Alpha, not Alpha, it was Kirk. And that was okay, McCoy’d told him to rest, so it was okay. Hikaru blinked, confused but not concerned with the darkness, his eyes unwilling to open again. It was confusing, it was dark, but he was warm and comfortable. Alpha’s said to rest.

So, he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. That happened.


	22. Where to Go From Here

Kirk looked up at McCoy, his heart still racing from what had just taken place. It was comforting having the weight Sulu’s relaxed and sleeping form laying against him. It soothed that part of him that had been so hurt at the Omega’s fear. Things hadn’t been going well, not at all, and Kirk hadn’t even hesitated to call McCoy when Sulu started hyperventilating. It had been alarming, watching Sulu sit stock still gasping in an attempt to breath, tears running down his face.

Jim had sat next to the two of them as McCoy worked to calm the Omega down, almost trembling himself. He didn’t know what he’d done, or how it had gone so completely wrong, and it was hard not to blame himself. Hell, who was he kidding, he _did_ blame himself. Kirk hadn’t dared to touch Sulu again, not after how the Omega had reacted to him trying to get his attention before. Kirk had listened blindly when McCoy’d told him to sit behind Sulu, let the Omega rest against him as the drugs took effect.

Sulu’s features while asleep were in such a sharp contrast to the tension he’d displayed while awake, Kirk would almost say he was a completely different person. He couldn’t imagine the enormous amount of stress the pilot was carrying.

McCoy sat up for a while, keeping an eye on Sulu, making sure he was out and didn’t have any reaction to the medicine. Eventually, Bones leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes as the tension drained out of him.

“Bones, we didn’t… I mean I didn’t even get anywhere with him. This made last night look like a good scene.” Kirk eventually broke the silence, at a loss as what to do. Sure, McCoy’d said to prepare for a negative reaction, but this seemed to go above and beyond that.

McCoy grimaced. Yeah, Kirk had a point with that one. “Not your fault. Probably mine, actually. He came in to sickbay for a checkup and to say he left upset….” He admitted, glancing over at the two sitting beside him. “I knew he wasn’t in a good place, but I thought maybe he’d calm down some before showing up here. Pretty sure we both screwed this one up this time.”

Kirk just sighed, arms wrapped loosely around Sulu. It was the closest thing to an embrace he was willing to risk right now. Sulu was completely out of it, but he hadn’t wanted Kirk touching him before, and Jim wasn’t going to risk him waking up and panicking thinking he was being restrained.

Both Alpha’s sat in silence for a long time before one of them spoke again.

McCoy frown up at the ceiling, a thought occurring to him. “We could see if Spock could help, be a neutral party? Pointy ear bastard’s like a robot when it comes to emotions, might make Sulu at least a little more comfortable to have him there.”

Kirk considered that, watching the easy rise and fall of Sulu’s breath. “Sulu’s having this many problems with just one of us in here, you think that’ll work?”

“If you think about it, so far, he’s done better when he hasn’t been one on one with either of us, so I’d say yea, it’ll work.” McCoy retorted, giving Kirk a look. “Besides, Chekov gave Sulu the tour, and they ended up on the bridge so he’s at least met Spock. And I didn’t get any calls about a panicking Omega so I’m assuming it didn’t end up in a disaster.”

“Gee, thanks Bones.” Kirk’s tone was dry, stung by McCoy’s comment. Both instances he’d had anything to do with Sulu had ended in the Omega panicking, this time so badly he’d needed McCoy to sedate him.

“Ah, dammit, you know that’s not what I meant.” McCoy groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It ain’t your fault, I know that. But Sulu’s so terrified of both of us apparently, and maybe he didn’t have that sort of reaction to Spock. Everyone knows Vulcan suppress emotion and the kid might be messed up, but he ain't stupid. It should be easy for him to see the benefit of having the Commander there.”

Kirk nodded, thinking about what McCoy had suggested. It wasn’t a completely terrible idea, but a part of him disliked it anyway. He and Spock were friends, and despite their bickering, McCoy also considered Spock a friend. Though good luck getting him to admit it without getting him drunk off his ass first. But Spock wasn’t really part of the Pack, and Kirk’s instincts just _hated_ the idea of needing the other Alpha’s help.

Spock had his own Pack, which consisted of his Bond mate Uhura and Scotty. Kirk had his own Pack which included McCoy, Scotty (yes, the engineer was in both Packs) and Chekov, and by extension Sulu now too. His instincts balked at letting someone else come in and do what he couldn’t. That was probably why the idea hadn’t occurred to him sooner. He could handle Spock playing mediator though.   
“I’ll talk to him bout it, first thing tomorrow.” Kirk finally acquiesced, willing to do anything if it helped Sulu. “Chekov can use some more command experience anyway.”

“Make sure you talk to Sulu about it too, or at the very least warn him. Spock won’t have to hang out all the time just waiting, anyway.” McCoy supplied. “You just have to call him over for hour or so, then he can go on his merry little way.”

“That sounds so wrong.” Kirk snorted.

“You’re the one with a mind in the gutter, Jim.”

There was silence for a long moment. Kirk watched Sulu sleep, somber despite the little bit of banter between himself and Bones. He felt guilty for the stress he’d caused the Omega, worried he was just making things worse but determined to do what he could to change that. “What do I do when he wakes up?”

Bones looked over, half getting up, worried for a moment that the Omega was waking up already, but he soon relaxed back seeing him still sleeping. “He’ll be disoriented, that shit’s pretty powerful. Just talk to him, keep him calm, or try to anyway. He should be out for a while though, probably til morning at least. He’s out hard enough now you can move if you wanted.”

Kirk shook his head, content to stay where he was for right now.

“Chekov’s probably gonna come looking for him again.” McCoy stated after a few minutes of silence, leaning forward with a low groan and setting about gathering the medical supplies that had fallen out of his kit. He’d been in a hurry to get the injection into Sulu, hadn’t really cared about the little things scattering on the floor.

“Think it’ll help? Make Sulu more comfortable if Chekov was here when he woke up?”

“Hell if I know.” McCoy grunted, standing up and looking over at Kirk. “Neither of us know enough about Sulu and what happened to really make any determination on what will or won’t make him comfortable. Or if comfortable is even something we can give him at this point.”

“I should talk to Chekov, get the full story and maybe we can avoid a repeat of this.” Kirk said, mostly to himself. He’d be here when Sulu woke up, of course, but he guessed the Omega would want time to himself at some point. Kirk would go have that conversation with Spock and then Chekov during that time.

“When you do, you might want to see if he’s willing to make it an official statement.” McCoy advised. It would need to be done eventually anyway, and the sooner he got that as a report the sooner he could start compiling some evidence. He already had his own observations and records about Sulu’s physical health to get the thing started.

McCoy started to leave, pausing for a moment and catching Kirk’s gaze. “I meant it, Jim. It isn’t your fault. He’s worse around you ‘cause of that little thing in his file that says he’s unofficially yours. He’s assigned to you, or your assigned to him, whichever the hell way you wanna look at it, and that’s most likely the reason he panics with you. Give him time, he’ll come ‘round and understand you’re not like that bastard.”


	23. Third Time is the Charm

Kirk ended up passing out on the couch with Sulu laying on him. He hadn’t had anything else he needed to do, and after that near traumatizing scene he’d needed the reassurance himself. It might have been better for him to get up, go sleep in his own bed or at least on the other couch, but before he knew it he was out cold.

He woke to the sound of a frightened whine, immediately looking down at Sulu but the Omega was still asleep. “Hey, hey, Sulu. It’s alright. Your safe. It’s alright.” He spoke gently, not quite shaking Sulu but still making an attempt to wake him.

~~

Sulu was dreaming, he knew he was dreaming. Had to be dreaming, because Jameson was dead, there was no way he could be here right now. It was a dream, just a dream.

But then it wasn’t.

Jameson was right in front of him, face twisted in rage, reaching forward and dragging Sulu forward. _Little bitch, whore, throwing yourself to the nearest Alpha._ Sulu tried to shake his head, whining fearfully. He was suddenly on his knees, being pressed back. _Deserve this punishment, take it like a good obedient little Omega bitch._ Sulu couldn’t breath because Jameson was pressing forward and he had nowhere to go.

There was another voice, the tone at odds with the harsh severity coming from Jameson. But no, that was wrong, he remembered this night, there hadn’t been anyone else there.

It was slow and difficult waking up, Sulu struggling to pull himself from the memory nightmare. He opened his eyes, breath hitching at the feeling of arms around him, the scent of Alpha registering in his mind. He didn’t dare move when those arms dropped away, flinching as the Alpha spoke again.

“You’re safe, it’s okay. You can get up if you want. I’m not gonna hurt you.” The words were gentle and soft, though Sulu still scrambled away the second he recognized the permission. He turned to face the Alpha, eyes downcast and heart racing. Hikaru blinked as the Alpha repeated the reassurance, the promise of safety, realizing that those words had been said over and over, he’d come out of his nightmare hearing them.

He lifted his eyes some, not quite able to meet Kirk’s just yet. “Sorry, sir.” He apologized, not really knowing what for, but feeling like he should.

Kirk just kind of quirked a half smile at him, shaking his head once. “It’s fine, you didn’t do anything wrong, no need to apologize. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have been crowding you, Bones said you’d probably be disoriented waking up.”

“Bones?” Sulu questioned with a frown, looking up to meet Kirks gaze. It wasn’t the only thing he was questioning about that entire statement, but it was what came out of his mouth. Mostly because he was worried that there had been some unknown person around him. Or, maybe he just couldn’t remember, because most of what had happened the previous evening was a blur.

“Yeah, sorry, I mean McCoy. Bones is just the nickname I gave him when we first met.” Kirk grinned, leaning back at Sulu’s still confused expression, preparing to launch into the entire story. A little personal history would help the Omega get to know him, and the time it took to tell the story would give him some room to calm down further. “Pike had just talked me into joining Starfleet and I was on the transport shuttle headed out when McCoy is just getting kinda pushed along by this pilot, telling him he needed a doctor, which of course he had to inform her that he was already a doctor, and then to just shut up and sit down basically. He sits by me, threatens to throw up on me, the jerk, then makes a quip about all he had left was his bones. So, I call him Bones more often than not.”

Sulu rocked back a little, puzzled. He hadn’t expected to get such a full answer like that, or frankly any answer at all. The way Kirk talked, describing what had happened, it almost felt like those times he’d spent hanging out with Chekov, swapping stories. But this wasn’t Chekov, this was an Alpha, why did he care to tell Sulu why he did anything.

Kirk paused for a moment after he’d finished telling the story, watching Sulu pick uneasily at the sleeve of his uniform. The pilot seemed clear headed enough, which was a good sign. It occurred to Kirk that he should probably take the opportunity to try and talk to the pilot. He could at least try to convey some reassurance that he didn’t have to be afraid here, and maybe he could learn a little more about Sulu as well.

It looked like the Omega was very sneakily trying to look around the room without letting Kirk know. Probably looking for McCoy. “Hey Sulu, it’s just you and me here. You can leave anytime you want, I’m not going to get upset or hurt you. I would like to just talk for a minute though. Let you know that you don’t have to be afraid. I know I should have done this before you even got here yesterday...”

“Done what?” Sulu interrupted, looking up at Kirk, pulling back slightly as their eyes met.

“Talk. Just talk.” Kirk reassured him, feeling another bout of guilt. He could only imagine what kind of images were going around in Sulu’s head, what his previous Alpha had done. “I’m not going to hurt you. Just, I should have made that clear before you came back here again.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

Kirk was a little relieved to hear that Sulu sounded more curious than afraid. He took a breath before beginning, taking the moment to organize his thoughts. “I don’t know all of what happened to you on the Indiana, but I can guess some of it. That’s not how things are going to work here. You’re safe. I know you don’t feel that way, and if it helps we could have Chekov here whenever we have to meet. If you don’t want Chekov around during that time, but you don’t want to be alone with me, we could have McCoy, or even Spock, just sit in. But only if you want, okay?”

Sulu tensed, shaking his head once before freezing, eyes dropping to his lap. It wasn’t that he couldn’t say no, Kirk’s suggestion wasn’t an order it was a question, so he didn’t physically have a problem doing it. He was just afraid. Suggestions and questions were usually just a different form of command, and for all that Kirk had said more than once he wouldn’t hurt him, he couldn’t vocalize how much he _didn’t want_ either of those people to be standing there watching.

He didn’t want Chekov to see him differently, a stupid sentiment he was well aware, because the Russian already saw him differently. Pav had to know about what was going on, had always know but would never been able to do anything. He shouldn’t be embarrassed about it, but he couldn’t deal with having Chekov see him so afraid. Not like this.

The thought of Spock being around was worse. Sure, the other Alpha was a Vulcan, would likely demand nothing from him, expect nothing from him, and not get angry with him. Spock wasn’t the problem. It was how Kirk might _react_ to Spock that was the problem. He didn’t want Kirk to become overly possessive because there was another Alpha in the room.

“Alright, that’s fine. We won’t do that then.”

Sulu looked up, mind going blank at the complete ease in which the Alpha had dismissed the idea. He didn’t even look upset over it. “I… I wasn’t saying no.” He ventured.

“It’s okay if you want to say no. You have that right and I’ll respect that.” Kirk stated, tilting his head a little as he looked at Sulu. “Just, it looked like you didn’t like those ideas at all. And that’s fine, it’s completely up to you. I just want to help you.”

There had to be some catch, Sulu was certain of it. He didn’t want to think that Kirk was outright lying, though his affirmation that he was here to help _Sulu_ and not the other way around was really hard to swallow. It was completely backwards from what he’d been taught, had beaten into him, for the last two years.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to, but I just want to let you know that if you have any problems, anything I’m doing you want me to stop, you can tell me. Or if you don’t feel comfortable or safe talking to me, you can go to McCoy, or Spock, hell even Scotty or Chekov.” He stopped, taking a moment re-center himself, evening out his tone because Sulu was tensing again. “Talk to whoever you feel okay with, they’ll make sure it gets taken care of.”

Kirk would have loved to offer to listen if Sulu wanted to talk about what had happened on the Indiana, just what Jameson had put him through and what the CMO and Captain had said about it. He knew better, however, because if Sulu wasn’t willing to tell him no to something like having another person around, he wasn’t going to want to bare his darkest scars.

“You can stay as long as you want.” Kirk spoke up again when it became apparent Sulu wasn’t going to say anything. The Omega hadn’t made a move to get up and leave either. “I’m not going to do anything to you. You can hang out as long as you want, I’ll just sit here. I won’t be mad if you want to leave, like I said, you can do so whenever you want.”

Sulu drew in a shaking breath, forcing himself to stand up. There was no better time than now to test the Alpha’s patience. Sure, he’d said he wouldn’t hurt him, and maybe he wouldn’t this time. There was so much to take in, so much that was different than what he’d learned on the Indiana. He did, of course, recognize it as the things they’d taught at the Academy. The ideals of equal respect, Alpha’s taking and viewing the need that Omega’s had for them as a privilege, an honor to have because of the level of trust they represented.

He glanced towards the door, then back to Kirk. The Alpha made no move to get up, expression not changing from the gentle and open look. “Sir.” Sulu muttered quietly, ducking his head as he took a hesitant step away, pausing only long enough to be sure Kirk was truly alright with him leaving, wouldn’t change his mind and command him to say. Relieved, and somewhat disbelieving, that the Alpha said nothing, Sulu turned and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *self-consciously and nervously leaves chapter here* I'm not sure about this one, but here it is.  
> You mention that they should have communication, and it wouldn't leave my head because of /course/ Kirk should think of that. Bones should too, but maybe he just already assumed Kirk would be doing that.  
> Still, third day of Sulu being on the Enterprise, that's not a stupid amount of time to pass before they actually sit down and talk, right?  
> *leaving you readers alone now, carry on*


	24. Long Awaited Talks (Aka: Kirk’s very busy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being so so extra long. (I'm sure that's just a tragedy for all of you, right?)

Kirk watched Sulu leave, relieved that that hadn’t gone anywhere near as bad as it could have. Sure, Hikaru hadn’t completely relaxed, but he’d stayed semi calm and unpanicked, had listened to what Kirk had to say. Whether he really believed him was a completely different story. It had been impossible for Kirk to miss the hesitance and unease on Sulu’s face when he’d gotten up to leave. Kirk hadn’t pressed, letting him move in his own time. He hadn’t been lying, he really had nothing to do all day.

Well, maybe not _nothing_. The only thing he had on his agenda was talking to Spock and Chekov. He still planned on talking to Spock because, since McCoy was set on him only focusing on Sulu and not on digging up dirt on the Indiana, he’d love to get the Vulcan involved. Spock was such a stickler for rules. He’d be like a bloodhound tracking down more information on the crew of that ship than they’d know what to do with.

Kirk took some time after Sulu left to shower and change, before heading to the cafeteria to eat. Sulu needed his attentions, yes, and he had a list of things he needed to do and people to talk to, but he was still the captain and needed to check in on the rest of his crew too. So he chatted up a few crewmembers on the way to breakfast, sat joking with another group during the meal, and walked with first shift bridge crew to their stations.

He figured he’d start off talking with Spock. The science officer might have some insight on the whole situation and could probably use the warning in case he ran across Sulu in some random turbo lift. Jim didn’t really think Spock would do anything to scare the guy, but the Vulcan could be intimidating just _standing_ there sometimes. In any case, he could grab Chekov when he came to start his shift. Perks of being the captain, he could shuffle people to cover the station if he needed someone elsewhere.

Kirk entered the bridge, meeting Spock’s lifted brow with a sassy grin and trotting over. He nodded his head toward the Captain’s room. “Hey Spock, got a favor to ask. C’mon.”

Spock stood up as Kirk walked past, only hesitating long enough to give assign one of the Lieutenant to be in charge, then followed after the Captain. He was curious as to the abruptness of Jim’s request and the tension that was apparent to him in his friend. “Captain…”

“I’m asking a favor Spock, you don’t need to be so formal.” Kirk interrupted him, looking over at the Vulcan with a quirky smile.

“Jim.” Spock tried again, patient as always with the man. “To what favor are you referring?”

Kirk leaned against his desk, half sitting on it as he crossed his arms. “The new pilot, Lt. Sulu, is an Omega, and we’ve run into a few problems. There’s every indication that during his previous post the Alpha was abusive, and he may or may not have been kept from reporting it by the Captain and CMO. McCoy’s already looking into it.”

Spock tilted his head slightly, considering Jim’s words. He thought perhaps, that he could surmise what Jim’s favor would be, but he didn’t spare much thought to conjecture. Jim would answer the question soon enough. “I see. That would explain the Lieutenant’s odd behavior on the bridge yesterday.”

Kirk lifted a brow. “Oh yeah, what happened?”

“He accompanied Ensign Chekov to the bridge before the Ensign’s shift was to begin. He became agitated, tense and afraid when I approached and spoke with Chekov. I attributed it to the unexpected nature in which he had met me, that his instincts were of some distress due to having entered unexpectedly into the area of an unfamiliar Alpha.”

Kirk nodded, frowning to himself lightly. “Yeah, me and Bones have run into that… distress. How’d you deal with that?”

“I simply spoke to him, expressed the sentiment that he was welcome on the bridge but would need clearance from the chief medical officer before he would be able to begin duty.”

“And he was fine after that?” Kirk asked, because damn the Vulcan made it sound so _easy_.

“In humans, instinct and emotions are many times tied together. I cannot be certain whether my words were responsible for calming him, but he did appear more relaxed after that moment.”

Kirk nodded, brow furrowing as he thought about the incident. Spock waited patiently, Kirk had yet to get around to asking for that favor. After a long moment, the Vulcan decided the captain might need some prompting. “Jim, you expressed the desire to ask a favor?”

“Mm, yeah. Bones wants me focused on Sulu right now, which I can’t help but agree with considering the circumstances. I wanted you to look into the crew. I have my doubts as to how innocent all of them were.” Kirk told him, straightening up. “Like I said, it’s a favor, not an order. I’m going to do my own digging soon as I can. We won’t be able to press any charges any time soon, I’m sure…”

“We can however begin gathering the necessary data and evidence that will be crucial in the trial.” Spock concluded, garnering a nod of agreement from Kirk.

“So, you in?”

“If by ‘in’, you mean that I will assist in this endeavor, then yes. I am ‘in’.”

Kirk snorted out a laugh, shaking his head at the Vulcan and slapping him on the shoulder as he headed out. “One more thing, I need Chekov for the day, Jessi’s gonna cover for him. Thanks Spock.”

Spock paused for a moment, fighting the impulse to roll his eyes. Kirk was very fond of that type of end to their conversations. Still, he was pleased he had been able to ease some of the tension in the captain. He followed the way Kirk had left, moving over to the chair and sitting down as Kirk entered the turbo lift, Chekov by his side. The Captain gave one last cheeky grin before the doors closed.

~~

It was way too easy to get Chekov to come along with him. The moment the navigator had seen Kirk on the bridge, his entire face had just screamed that he wanted to pounce on the captain with a mountain of questions. Kirk gave him a smile, heading over to him right away. “Hey Chekov, c’mon. I wanted to have a chat. Jessi’s gonna cover your shift today.”

Chekov’s eyebrows rose in surprise. He had a million questions he wanted to ask Kirk, starting with how Sulu was doing. He’d wanted to go find his friend after his shift had ended yesterday, but he’d run into McCoy who’d told him he was better off waiting. Chekov had, of course, asked what was going on and had gotten the condensed version of the incident. It worried him, but he’d taken the doctor’s advice. That he had the opportunity to speak to Kirk so soon was very good in his opinion.

Kirk set the lift towards deck 5, then folded his arms comfortably and glanced over at Chekov. “Sulu’s fine, I know you want to ask. We talked some this morning, or I talked he listened. But I think we got some things cleared up.”

Chekov let out a breath hearing Sulu was alright. It was a relief to hear it and now that his concern for his friend was alleviated, he was very curious as to why Kirk had taken him off duty for the day. He followed the captain off the lift, walking beside him through the corridor and soon realizing they were headed towards the lounge.

“I wanted to talk to you about Sulu, or more accurately, his previous Alpha and the CMO and captain of the Indiana. McCoy told me about what you told him, and I was hoping I could get the full story. I know something happened with Jameson, Sulu’s reactions are enough to make that obvious. No one can hold Jameson accountable, though this will get put on his record, but we can make damn sure the captain, CMO, and even the crew don’t let something like this go again.” Kirk spoke quietly, tone serious and determined. He led them over to the far side of the room, waving a hand for Chekov to have a seat and sitting down himself.

It didn’t take too much encouragement for Chekov to tell Jim everything he knew, Kirk’s promise that something would be done about it was just about all the encouragement Chekov needed. Kirk leaned back in his seat when Chekov finished, feeling just that much more frustration and anger. It must have been impossible for anyone on that ship to _not_ know what was going on. The biggest mystery to Kirk now was why no one had reported it, why Sulu hadn’t made any complaints either. He wondered if maybe Jameson had threatened him, or maybe he’d tried to file a complaint and the captain or CMO willingly stopped him from doing so. Kirk’s fist clenched at that thought. Turning a blind eye was unforgivable enough, but to knowingly and purposefully keep Sulu in that kind of environment…

He had a lot to work with now though, could pass some of it off to Spock until he could really focus his efforts on it. He let out a sigh, releasing some of the tension and running a hand through his hair, scratching his head briefly. “Thanks, Chekov, this really… It really helps.”

Chekov nodded, letting out his own shaky little breath. It had been hard going back through all that he’d seen and experienced. He knew how much worse it had been for Sulu though, and how hard it would be for the pilot to recount it when the time came. If the time came that Sulu was alright enough to do so. Chekov ran a hand down his face, biting his tongue to keep from crying. He believed in Sulu, knew that his friend was strong enough to do it, one day.

Kirk was quiet for a moment, giving Chekov some time to compose himself, before launching into the next agenda he had for this meeting. “You know Sulu’s not having the easiest time…” He began, continuing at Chekov’s nod. “Think you could give me any advice or ideas how I could make it easier on him? He doesn’t exactly trust me, considering where he’s coming from it’s not unwarranted, and I don’t want to do anything that’s gonna remind him of Jameson.”

“Maybe, you could try interacting vith him outside of eizher of your quarters?” Chekov suggested, shrugging slightly. “Jameson newer vent anyvhere vith him, deedn’t ewer seem to acknowledge him in zhe corridors.”

Kirk nodded at that, it might be a really good idea. Not something he could do to help the Omega down, but it would give Sulu an opportunity to be more at ease around him. The pilot hadn’t seemed keen on having anyone else around during their session, but he didn’t particularly seem like he like being alone with Kirk either. This idea might just be a good bridge between them.

“So, other than when Sulu’d go to meet with Jameson, they didn’t have much to do with each other?” He asked. He’d known that Jameson had been abusive, and since the deceased Alpha wasn’t going to be the focus of the investigation, Kirk hadn’t asked too much about him earlier.

Chekov shook his head. “No, and Sulu vas only, I mean, he only ewer, he just vent to see Jameson vhen Jameson called for him.”

Kirk frowned. “Jameson didn’t let Sulu initiate any of the meetings?”

“Not zhat I know of.”

That would be something he’d have to watch out for then. Jim didn’t want Sulu to suffer or drop on his own just because he thought he wasn’t allowed to come to Kirk for help. Even McCoy or Spock would be willing to help. Jim wasn’t sure if Sulu realized that just because he was assigned to Kirk, didn’t mean he had to see him. Not when there were two other Alpha’s he could see if he felt more comfortable with them. And yeah, Kirk could admit he felt a little possessive, that was just the Alpha instinct, but he’d never _do_ anything. He wouldn’t stop Sulu from going to whoever he wanted.

He checked the time, knowing Sulu had to be in the medbay around 0500. There was still a good few hours left, so Kirk grinned up at Chekov. “You know, hanging out with Sulu sounds like a great way to get to know him. He might… not really go for it if I asked him, but would you see if he wants to have lunch? I could go for some food now.”

Chekov asking would help in two ways. Sulu would be more likely to agree, and would also have someone there to be a buffer between him and Kirk. As an extra bonus, this plan would keep Kirk from worrying that Sulu was hiding in his quarters, skipping meals and just fretting.

Chekov looked a little unsure. “Zhat… I don’t know, he vould not like to be surprised by you being zhere.”

“No, yeah, of course. I don’t want to surprise him with it. Just it’ll be the three of us having lunch, that’s it.” Kirk clarified. He wasn’t trying to be underhanded or anything with this. He was perfectly fine if Sulu said no, would have been willing to invite Sulu himself. It was just that he wasn’t willing to risk Sulu panicking if he showed up at the Omega’s door. He'd stressed the guy out enough as it was. “I just want to get to know the newest member of my bridge crew.” It was a true statement, he really did want to get to know Sulu. The pilot was a part of his crew now, would be on the main bridge staff.

“сожалею, of course, yes.” Chekov smiled, nodding his head in agreement. That made perfect sense, Kirk had done the exact same thing with him when he had first arrived. He chided himself silently for having misunderstood. He stood up, eager and excited, delighted that Sulu would have more friends, get to know these good people here on the Enterprise. “I’ll go and ask him now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kirk is extra busy here, and I feel a little wierd with how he's just talking about this to everyone. But it's just Spock and Chekov, and Chekov already knows and has info he needs. And he has pretty good reasons for letting Spock in on the situation. So, I guess it's alright then?


	25. The Past Can Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING** : Again, mind the page breaks if you don't want to read noncon/slightly explicit things.

Sulu hadn’t expected getting out of Kirk’s quarters to be so easy and, despite the many reassurances from the Alpha, he was still surprised at the lack of pain. All he really wanted to do right now was get to his own quarters, sit down, and figure out just what had happened last night.

It was always disconcerting when he couldn’t remember, though thankfully (or perhaps not?) that sort of thing didn’t happen often. Had only happened maybe two or three other times that he could think of. At the very least, he wanted to try and figure out what, if anything, the Alpha had done to him during that blank and blurry period. By now, any new marks would have shown up, even if whatever he’d been given was still blocking any new pain. That they _had_ given him something was obvious, not to mention terrifying because, _what the hell_? Jameson had never needed to drug him to make him obedient and pliant, what could they have possibly had in mind that they’d need to do that.

He didn’t want to try and think about all the things Kirk had been saying to him. Not just yet anyway. He knew he was being a coward about it. But he’d had moments of Jameson being pleased with him, had bend over backwards sometimes just chasing those small little moments, and he was terrified that the conversation with Kirk was just a variation of that.

He couldn’t have said whether or not he passed any other crew on the way to his quarters, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to really pay attention. He could feel the tension drain from his body as soon as the doors closed behind him though. He gave himself a moment to just stand and breath, then headed toward the shower, shedding clothes as he went.

It… it didn’t feel like Kirk or McCoy… Yeah, he remembered now, McCoy had been there. Kirk had even told him as much. It didn’t feel like either Alpha had used him, and a quick glance over his body showed no new bruises, so that was out too. He didn’t have that foul taste in his mouth either. He still turned the shower to the hottest he could stand. The two Alphas may have decided not to take his body last night, but he could still feel the phantom hands from his nightmare, could remember so many other nights where he hadn’t gotten off so lightly.

When he’d finished, and dressed, Sulu just walked over to his bed and sat down. He wasn’t cleared for duty yet, so he didn’t have to worry about a shift he needed to be on. He might have like to spend some time with Chekov, but he didn’t know if the Russian was on duty, and frankly, Sulu wasn’t in any frame of mind to want to wander the ship to find him. He was, weirdly enough, somewhat tired, but he had no desire to sleep and be greeted by Jameson in his dreams again.

He reached over and grabbed his pillow, curling around it as he turned his thoughts back to the experience he’d had with captain Kirk only a few hours ago. The Alpha had been so… so casual. He certainly talked more than Jameson ever had. Sulu was prepared to believe Kirk’s affirmation that he wouldn’t hurt him, but he wasn’t dumb enough to think that would be a permanent thing. There’d been plenty of times Jameson had been pleased with him, hadn’t hit him. Sulu couldn’t think of a single time that the gentleness had not been proceeded by him on his knees getting the Alpha off not moments before. He didn’t want that to be the price of being pain free here as well.

He still didn’t understand Kirk’s easy dismissal of his own idea. Kirk must _want_ to have someone else there with them, why else would he have offered. It made a sort of sense too, because McCoy’d shown up again, just like that first night. Sulu had no clue what the draw for Kirk was, so far he hadn’t done _anything_ to Sulu, much less attempted to do something that incorporated a second person.

Hikaru pressed his face into the pillow, letting out a frustrated groan and flopping over on his side. This was so stupidly upside down. He was supposed to be shared between two Alpha’s and neither of them had _done_ anything for all that he’d seen both of them twice now. And Kirk had just told him that he wouldn’t hurt him. Maybe, that meant that it would be McCoy’s job?

That would be weird, because the guy was a doctor and that was kinda contrary to what they did for a profession. Then again, it would make it easier to patch him up, or more sadistically, cause him pain without _having_ to patch him up. The doctor would know more than enough about the human body to easily do that.

Or maybe he was just over-analyzing the hell out of things, and all Kirk really meant was that he wouldn’t hurt him today, because he’d somehow managed to make the guy happy last night. Even though he’d done nothing. Fuck. This was confusing.

His thoughts ran in circles around the subject of Kirk’s words and the actions of the two Alphas the previous night, falling asleep after a while.

 

 

*************************

 

 

__  
There were fingers in his mouth, shoving too deep, choking him and forcing him to gag. He tried to complain, whine turning into a muffled scream as the Alpha behind him snarled, driving into him harder. Jameson hadn’t bothered to make him strip this time, just threw him against the back of the couch, half bent over, turning Sulu’s world into a burning agony moments later despite the pilot’s repeated protests.

Hikaru’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of the door chime, a sense of relief following quickly after to join the overwhelming fear and nausea. Jameson’d stop now, he’d get a break, a little reprieve while whoever it was talked to the Alpha.

Sulu whined when Jameson didn’t stop, instead grabbed Sulu’s hair and pulled him back, forcing himself deeper into the Omega and laughing at the pained cry. “Bitch’ll wanna be quieter than that. Our guest might hear, might wanna join in. Too bad it can’t be your little Beta friend, the brat.” Jameson moaned, grabbing Sulu’s hips and jerking him back harder. “I’d let him in here, let him see. Bet you’d love that. Show him just what a whore you are.”

Sulu whimpered, shaking his head, trying to hold back any noise, tears slipping down his cheeks. He almost missed the fingers in his mouth, keeping him quiet. Jameson was being too rough, he wouldn’t be able to be silent much longer. It _hurt_. “Please, Alpha.” He begged, voice choked. He wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or sickened that his words only spurred Jameson on, the Alpha fucking him harder, breath ragged next to Sulu’s ear.

“I’d make you lick me clean while he watched, maybe then he would have see the only good you really are. What Omega's exist for.”

No. Sulu closed his eye, trying not to feel Jameson’ hands pawing at him, knowing, praying, the Alpha was close to being done. No. Jameson couldn’t do that, Chekov wasn’t here, he’d transferred to the Enterprise, he was safe. He tried to keep quiet as Jameson came, the Alpha biting down on the Bond mark, but he couldn’t choke the cry back completely, shuddering as Jameson shoved him towards the door. "Make it quick, Omega."

When Sulu came back from speaking with the scientist at the door, having gotten a data PADD of information for Jameson, he saw the Alpha lounging languidly on the floor against the back of the couch. Sulu stopped at the angry growl thrown his way, dropping to his knees obediently and setting the PADD aside.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that attitude of yours. Come here, Omega.” Jameson clicked his fingers, drawing Sulu’s attention, and pointed to his cock. “Clean it up, Omega.” Sulu’s throat tightened, shivering at the order as he crawled forward. He should have guess, known Jameson would do this, he’d said as much already.

Jameson grabbed his hair when he was close enough, running out of patience and jerking Sulu down onto him without warning. The Alpha grunted in satisfaction as Sulu began. “Know your place Omega. You don’t get to tell me no.”

 

 

*************

 

 

Sulu woke at the sound of the chime for his quarters, rolling out of the bed and hitting the floor with a dull thump. He shoved himself up on all fours, retching and dry heaving, thanking god he hadn’t eaten anything recently. He coughed, choking back another attempt his stomach made at emptying itself, blinking through the tears.

The chime sounded again and Sulu forced himself up, wiping at his face quickly. Fuck, what if that was the Alpha? He stumbled, nearly tripping and falling over the pillow under his feet before kicking it under the bed. He paused just for a second before opening the door, taking a calming breath.

Chekov was waiting for him on the other side, bouncing energetically, though the Russian stilled as soon as he saw Sulu. Seeing the worry and concern flash across his friend’s face, Sulu tried to smile and force the tension out of his body. “Hey, Pav. What’s up?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't originally plan for that dream to be in there, but there it is. Sometimes these things write themselves.


	26. Seriously? Lunch?

“Are you alright Karu? You look…” Chekov began to ask, biting his tongue when Sulu interrupted with a strained laugh.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Just fell out of bed. I took an unexpected nap, that’s all.” Sulu told him, putting as much cheer and unconcerned fun in his tone as he could. He knew it had to sound fake, for all that both of those statements were completely true, but maybe Chekov would just let it drop. He didn’t want to talk about it, not here, not now. Maybe not ever.

“Are you sure? I vould not, I mean, if you are tired, I don’t vant to..”

Sulu shook his head again, forcing a laugh. “Don’t worry about it, I’m wide awake now, not a bit tired. Come on…” Hikaru hesitated, he shouldn’t let Chekov in with the place smelling like… No. He blinked. No, it had been a dream, just a stupid nightmare. There wasn’t anything for him to hide right now, none of his clothes even had blood on them, much less anything else. “Come on in?”

Chekov didn’t really buy it, but he didn’t press. Hikaru obviously didn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t want to push his friend away. He accepted the invite inside, a little surprised because Karu had been unwilling to have him in here yesterday, and followed Sulu into his room. He watched, still worried, as Sulu picked up a pillow and tossed it on the bed.

“So, what’s up?” Sulu asked, sitting down and waving in invitation to Pavel. “Or did you forget what you came here for?”

Chekov blushed at the teasing tone, moving over to sit next to Sulu. “I did zhat _one_ time, and it vas only because you kept me up zhrough all hours of zhe night vith zhat movie marathon.”

Sulu chuckled, leaning his body and nudging Chekov. “I told ya I’d never let you live it down, didn’t I?”

Chekov leaned toward Sulu, starting a little pushing war as both of them tried to shove the other over. Neither of them were trying very hard because Sulu was used to letting Chekov win, and Chekov couldn’t stand the thought of pushing his friend over right now. Eventually, Sulu ending the stalemate by cheating, scooting over and snickering as Chekov half fell on top of him.

“So, go on.” Sulu prompted, laying back on the bed, Chekov’s head resting on his stomach. “What’s up?”

Chekov hopped up at that, because yes he may have gotten a little distracted and forgotten the reason he’d come. Sulu had looked so terrible, though happily he looked much better now. “Oh, I vas supposed to ask if you vanted to hawe lunch vith us. Zhe Keptain and me.”

Sulu sat up, lifting an eyebrow in disbelief. “Kirk wants to have lunch? Seriously?”

“Yes, I know, I vas shocked too vhen he did zhe same zhing vhen I first joined zhe crew.” Chekov chirped, completely missing the wariness in Sulu’s tone. “Uhura says he does zhat vith all his new crew, vell, zhe new bridge crew anyvay. But he does alvays chat wiz zhe others too.”

Sulu frowned, giving Chekov a disbelieving look. “That sounds…. Friendly.” He eventually stated.

Chekov grinned, moving over to sit down again beside Sulu. “He is so much different zhen our old keptain. I zhink you vill like him, he has a sense of humor.”

“Yeah?” Sulu tilted his head in invitation, shifting to sit more comfortably.

"Kirk is... Vell, Kirk is great! He is smart, passionate, kind... Vhen I first arrived here, I vas so nerwous. I had to leawe you, I had to go and enter zhis huge ship full of such experienced, talented people!" he paused to laugh lightly. "And zhere vas little old 15 year old me. Kirk made me feel so velcome, Karu. And he's trying to make _you_ comfortable. Trust me, he is a good man."

Sulu wanted to believe Chekov, the navigator would never knowingly lead him astray, but Chekov was Beta and young, both of which would have influenced the way Kirk treated him. He was the whiz kid genius, great at his job. Sulu was just the Omega around to make sure everyone was happy and just so happened to be good at flying. _Sulu_ might not agree with that sentiment, but everyone else on the Indiana sure as hell had.

Chekove poked him lightly, trying to ease the serious and worried expression off his face. “And, vhen you get up to your usual pranks, I von’t hawe to vorry about getting in trouble for giggling. He’d just make his own jokes. I zhink between zhe two of you, you could probably make even Mister Spock laugh.” He teased.

It took Sulu a moment to place who Spock was, and he laughed as it came to him. “You really over estimate my abilities if you think I can get a laugh out of a Vulcan.”

Chekov grinned at his success. “I zhink you underestimate your own abilities, Karu.”

“If I managed to do that, it would be my greatest achievement. Inscribe it on my tomb, I’ll never reach higher than ‘got a Vulcan to laugh at a joke’.” Sulu spread his hands dramatically. “I can see it now. ‘Man goes down in history for doing the impossible.’ Headlines will be everywhere.”

Pavel was all but rolling with laughter at the picture Sulu painted. He hoped that he could at least get Sulu to try, once the pilot was more comfortable with everyone on the ship. Sulu was the best at pranks, always managing to walk that line to keep it fun but not go too far as to actually get them in trouble.

“You’ll come, von’t you? To lunch?” Chekov asked again. “It’s okay if say no, Kirk von’t mind.”

Sulu wasn’t entirely sold, but what really decided it was Chekov’s excited and hopeful expression. He just couldn’t deny the kid, no matter his own reservations and worries. Worst that could happen is he’d do something to piss Kirk off and that little window of ‘not going to hurt him’ would close that much faster. It would happen eventually anyway.

“Alright, yeah.” Sulu agreed, looking over to see the time. “When’s lunch then?”

“Oh, now, if zhat is okay? Are you hungry? You hawen’t eaten yet have you?”

“So, he’s waiting on us… now?” Sulu asked, expression blank. He wanted to groan at Chekov’s confused nod. The niceness had been great while it lasted, though a little traitorous part of him hoped that since the Alpha had sent Chekov to find him, he wouldn’t be held responsible for keeping him waiting.

“I can see if anozher day vould be better?”

“No, it’s fine. Now’s fine. Haven’t eaten anyway.” Sulu reassured him distractedly, one hand flattening his hair down. Now was fine if for no other reason than Sulu had to see Kirk tonight and didn’t want to have to try to answer the question of why he hadn’t shown up when invited. He didn’t want to offend the captain before he’d even walked in the room.

Even if Kirk wasn’t offended, Sulu knew he’d worry about and if he was going to give Kirk a chance like Chekov so obviously wanted him too, that was not a good way to start. “Let’s go then, you’re the tour guide around here. Lead the way.” Sulu joked, tugging at Chekov and giving an imperious wave towards the door. He knew he was probably overdoing it, but the dramatics helped hide his misgivings from even himself.

Chekov grinned, rolling his eyes and heading towards the cafeteria.

Walking toward the cafeteria with Chekov, thinking about the upcoming lunch, Sulu came to the conclusion that this was actually a really good idea. Kirk was the captain after all, and Sulu was the pilot. He was going to have to get used to seeing the man outside of their Alpha/Omega meetings, otherwise he really would be just a good for nothing Omega. He wasn’t about to risk that, not when he had the chance to fly this amazing ship. This lunch would at least give him a frame of reference for how they would interact on the bridge.

That thought settle him some, lightening the twisted know in his stomach. Chekov would be there on the bridge working with him too, so however lunch went it really _would_ be like how normal shifts would go.


	27. Hi, I'm Jim, Nice to Meet You

Sulu tensed nervously as they approached where Kirk was sitting, shifting minutely ahead. Even though Kirk wore a welcoming smile, and he didn’t actually think the captain would _do_ anything, Sulu wasn’t willing to risk the man becoming upset and something happening to Chekov.

Kirk stood up grinning at both of them. “I was beginning to think you’d gotten lost.”

Sulu had to stop himself from moving fully in front of Chekov at those words. That would _definitely_ piss the Alpha off, and probably hurt Chekov’s feelings because the Russian had literally just finished telling him how amazing Kirk was. Besides, Kirk’s tone was teasing and he was still smiling. He didn’t look upset about it.

Chekov laughed, saying something in response though Sulu missed what it was. Kirk was looking at him now and he had no idea what to expect. “Hey, we got off on the wrong foot. So, I figured we could start over? I’m James Kirk, glad to have you as part of the crew.” Kirk felt a little awkward saying it, but he was willing to try anything to put Sulu at ease. The guy was looking pale and nervous. He hoped this hadn’t been a bad idea. He’d told Chekov that it was okay if Sulu said no, but that didn’t mean Sulu would think it was okay.

Hikaru shifted his weight. True, they really had gotten off to a bad start, but he hadn’t meant for that to happen. If he could go back and do it over again, well… Honestly, he wasn’t sure what he could change. He hadn’t exactly been in full control of himself. Either way, he was grateful that Kirk was willing to put it behind them and start over.

“Thank you, sir.” Sulu responded, not knowing what else to say. It felt too surreal. He twitched away from a touch on his arm, realizing a moment later that it was just Chekov trying to get his attention. He’d been too focused in on Kirk, had missed what his friend was saying.

Chekov smiled at him, expression a little sad. “Sorry Karu, um… I vas going to get us some food, vhat do you vant?”

Hikaru took a quiet breath, letting it out slowly. He put on a smile, determined that he could and _would_ act like a normal human being for once. He was Starfleet officer. He could do his job, then deal with the aftermath once he was off duty. He’d done it for two years on the Indiana, he could do it here. “It’s fine Pav, lost in thought again. Uh… surprise me? I guess?” He shrugged, not feeling all that hungry anymore.

Kirk gave Chekov much the same answer, though his leaned more towards a dare to try and bring him the most interesting Russian dish that Pavel could come up with. Chekov had snickered, wandering off with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Sulu felt relieved when the Alpha gestured toward the chair opposite his own, slipping into the offered seat. He was glad that he wasn’t being made to sit beside to the Alpha. Kirk wouldn’t be able to put his hands on him from the other side of the table. Chekov had said Kirk was nice, and he looked pleasant enough, but looks could be deceiving. Kirk had expressed too much interested in having people around, and Sulu didn’t know what to expect here.

Hikaru shifted under Kirk’s gaze. He could do this, he had too. Keep that Starfleet officer mentality, just be anything but himself now and deal with any consequences later. “Thank you for the invitation, sir. For lunch.” He spoke, trying to pretend like this was not a big deal, like they were just two normal people hanging out. Just like back in the Academy days.

“No problem.” Kirk responded, waving away the thanks.

Sulu glanced over to where Chekov was fiddling with the replicator, grasping for any sort of conversation point before this could become awkward. More so than it already felt. “You know, asking him to bring you the most interesting dish he could think of is risky." Sulu stated, careful to keep any hint that he might be questioning Kirk's judgement from his tone. "Last time I did that, I don’t think it was even real food.”

Kirk snorted, nodding. “Yeah, already experienced that. It’s why I made sure to specify Russian dish. At least that way I know I can eat it. Can’t wait to see what he brings you though. Surprise me? Famous last words with that kid.”

Sulu chuckled, shoulders loosening. This was actually going well so far. “I’m not worried. Last time he brought me something too gross, I ate it anyway, then threw up on him half hour later. He had to sit through Mdeggl’s class smelling _foul_. Guy wouldn’t let him go change.”

“Ugh. Jeez, I remember him.” Kirk groaned, though he was laughing. “Stickler for being on time. I got locked out I don’t know how many times. Guess that’s not quite so bad as being locked in like that though.”

“I don’t know who was more upset about it. Chekov, or the other cadets.”

“Upset about vhat?” Chekov asked warily, approaching the table balance the trays of food.

Sulu got up to help him automatically, only pausing for a fraction of a second when Kirk did the same. He took the tray that Chekov juggled his way, reclaiming his seat once Kirk had retrieved his food and sat down again.

“Upset about vhat?” Chekov repeated, once they were all resettled with their food.

“Mdebggl.” Sulu explain simply, chuckling as Chekov groaned in response, head dropping to his hands as his face flushed.

Kirk laughed, nudging him with his elbow. “Sounds like I’m not the only one where the truest show of friendship is being puked on.”

Chekov muttered something in Russian, but he was laughing too now and Sulu could tell that Pav was pleased. Chekov was looking at Kirk with something like hero worship eyes, like the captain had done something amazing, and Sulu really didn’t get it. Once again, Sulu was left wondering what sort of alternate reality he’d fallen into. Not that he was complaining, because this was by far better than being in his quarters trying not to imagine just what Kirk was going to be like later on. And it was so odd seeing him like this now, because it didn’t fit into any of the expectations Sulu had formed. Surreal was still the only word Sulu could really think of to describe it.

He felt hopeful. If every day could be like this, with Chekov happy and laughing and having someone to look up to, maybe he would be okay here. He could deal with whatever it took to keep Kirk happy. It was a scary thought, because he’d never actually _tried_ to make Jameson happy. Not after it became obvious that no matter how hard he tried, there was always something wrong.

And if this lunch was the kind of interaction that would be on the bridge, less the jokes and casual stories of course, then he could handle this. It would be difficult, of course, with his Alpha there all the time, seeing any little mistake he ever made, keeping account of it.

Hikaru hadn’t worked with Jameson directly during his duty on board the Indiana, so the Alpha hadn’t always known when he messed up. Sulu got away with some mistakes sometimes, simply because no one told Jameson about it in that particular instance. He wouldn’t get that reprieve here, but he could make that work.

He could deal with all of that, with two Alphas if he had to. Because Chekov was happy, and Chekov was _here_ , so Sulu had the support he’d missed so dearly before.


	28. Good Ole Doc

Towards the end of the meal, though really that had been long since finished as they all sat chatting, Sulu began fidgeting nervously. It was getting closer to the time he was supposed to be in sickbay, but Kirk was in the middle of some story, Chekov hanging off his every word, and Sulu couldn’t bring himself to interrupt.

He bit his lip lightly, keeping an eye subtly on the time, feeling his stomach drop as the time came and passed for him to be headed to sickbay. He’d gotten away with being late here because Chekov had to come and find him, invite him first, but he didn’t have that same excuse with McCoy. Again, the thought of what McCoy’d told him that first day came back to him, and he couldn’t help the unease at the thought of the Alpha having to hunt him down for not showing up on time.

Kirk was the first to say something, tilting his head and studying Sulu once he’d finished his story. “You alright?” The question sobered Chekov up, the Russian turning a worried look toward Hikaru.

Sulu let out a nervous laugh, nodding quickly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. Uh… just have an appointment with McCoy here soon… Or, you know, now.”

“Oh, crap, sorry. You should have said something, I’d have shut up sooner.” Kirk told him.

Sulu tensed, heart speeding up. Stressed as he was, it was hard to hold on to that aloof, non-submissive attitude he’d maintained throughout the meal. The words were too much like a rebuke, and he smiled apologetically. “Sorry, just Chekov was so into it, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Ach, next time, intewrupt, Hikaru, your healzh comes first.” Chekov chided gently, tone tinged with worry. Sulu was apologizing a lot again and the tension had returned. The Russian had been so elated with how Sulu was getting along with Kirk, how normal he had been, but he wasn’t sure what was wrong now.

“Right, right. Sorry. I’ll make sure to remember that next time. I should go though, I’m late as it is.”

“I’ll go with you.” Kirk suggested. “Bones’ll blame me for us being late, he always does.”

Chekov laughed. “I zhink he vill just be glad zhat you are zhere of your own free vill, instead of hurt.”

“Even better!” Kirk cheered, standing up. “No one gets yelled at.”

Sulu couldn’t argue against that. If it meant avoiding McCoy’s anger, it sounded like a good idea to him. He might be late, but if Kirk was with him, then McCoy couldn’t get angry, right? It almost felt like cheating, because he was still late, and he didn’t like the feeling of getting someone else in trouble. Kirk was captain though, so could he even get in trouble?

Of course, it didn’t really matter what Sulu thought, because Kirk had obviously decided he wanted to accompany the pilot. Hikaru wasn’t about to try and tell him he couldn’t do what he wanted. Just the thought of trying to tell an Alpha what to do send a shiver throughout Sulu’s body. Pretty promises or not, he didn’t think Kirk would take that well.

Hikaru stood up, glancing over at Chekov as the Russian did the same. “You coming too, Pav?”

“I vas supposed to follow Scotty around, he had some trick vith zhe warp core he vanted to teach me, but… if you vant I could go too?” Chekov offered.

Sulu shook his head, surprisingly okay with going with Kirk. “Go on, go learn about engineering. One of us has to know how to fix the thing.” He chuckled, exaggerating a conspiratorial wink.

Chekov laughed at that, glad to see Sulu feeling well enough to make jokes. “Good luck vith doctor McCoy.” He tossed the comment to Kirk as he left.

Kirk snorted, waving Chekov away. He was feeling pretty triumphant that Sulu was okay with being on his own with him. “C’mon, we should get going before we take too long and McCoy realizes he isn’t actually glad I showed up.” Kirk joked, leading the way toward sickbay.

~~

McCoy scowled, shoving his desk and spinning his chair around to glare out at the sickbay. He was getting nowhere trying to find the rest of Sulu’s file. Damn idiot over there wasn’t even answering his message. He knew it had only been a couple days, not really all that long, but in the world of medicine, two days might as well be a millennia. Thank god he wasn’t tryin to get this for some sort of medical emergency. The man had transferred to the Enterprise and was under his care, he needed the damn file, not to be stonewalled by some hack doctor.

At this point he was nearly ready to just fill in the gaps himself. In fact, now that he thought about it, that probably was the best idea. He already had his doubts about the report he _did_ have. The inaccuracies were small, but they were there. Some of the healed injuries that had shown up on Sulu’s scan dated back further than his capture on that planet.

The CMO on the Indiana _should_ have kept a record of Sulu’s health, but what little he’d gotten from Sulu’s prior post said nothing about them. Which is why the doctors had probably attributed all the injuries to his time held captive. He let out a low frustrated sigh. That hinted at there being some sort of cover up going on, a deeper problem than just one ship and one crew stamping all over Omega rights.

Speaking of which, where was that pilot. It was high time and over for his checkup, but he was nowhere to be seen. McCoy lifted an eyebrow as he turned and caught sight of Kirk walking through the doors, Sulu by his side. He never though he’d see the day Kirk came willingly to the sickbay. He couldn’t help but start plotting a way to get the captain his injections while he was distracted. He was glad to see that Sulu looked a little better than before, even if he was standing carefully out of arms reach of Kirk.

McCoy headed over, meeting the two of them halfway and giving Kirk a smirk. “If you think I’m lettin’ you outta here without your injections, you got another thing coming.” He informed him, crossing his arms and scowling when Kirk flashed him a mischievous grin.

“C’mon. The both of you.” McCoy grumbled, lightening his tone some for Sulu’s benefit. He led them over to an biobed, Sulu hopping up without prompting. McCoy glanced over at Kirk, then to Sulu. “You mind if he’s here for this? I’ll just be determining if you’re fit for duty, so he’d hear it eventually anyway. And I don’t trust him not to wander off before it’s his turn.” McCoy asked, eyes sliding over to a too innocent looking Kirk towards the end.

Sulu’s gaze flickered between them, puzzled but he still nodded in agreement. “I don’t mind.”

It didn’t take long for McCoy to complete the exam, it was all basically scanners anyway. He like to have a more hands on approach to his patients, nothing was a replacement for good old fashion medicine, but in Sulu’s case he determined modern technology would be more comfortable for him.

“I’ll clear you for duty starting tomorrow on the condition that you take it easy.” McCoy stated after he’d finished, giving Sulu a stern look, though that look quickly moved over to Kirk and shifted into a scowl. “I mean it, no getting up to some crazy shenanigans like jumping out a moving shuttle.”

Kirk smirked, glancing almost smugly at Sulu then looked back at McCoy. “C’mon Bones, are you ever gonna let that go? It was a great plan. And it worked.”

“It only worked because Spock was there to make sure you didn’t get splattered against that other ship when you decided to just hop on out the door with no warning.”

“Please, I gave you guys plenty of warning.”

McCoy just grunted at Kirk, not dignifying that with an argument and turned his attention back to the slightly bemused Sulu. The pilot wiped the expression off his face, not wanting the Alphas to think he was laughing at them or anything, though neither seemed to notice or care. “You come back here day after tomorrow. There’s still some holes in your file and if I can’t get em transferred here I’ll need to fill them in myself.”

“Yes, sir.” Sulu agreed, hopping up from the bed. He had to bite his lip not to laugh as Kirk made to follow him out only to be stopped by McCoy snagging his arm.

“Oh, no you don’t. You’re supposed to be setting an example. Not skipping out on check-ups.” McCoy grumbled, towing Kirk over to a different bed. Kirk twisted around, grinning at Sulu as he walked. “I’ll message you later.”

Sulu shook his head slowly once the two Alpha’s had turned their attention to each other, heading out of sickbay. He couldn’t help but feel excited, he’d be back on duty tomorrow! He smiled to himself, recounting the tour Chekov had given him, remembering what the bridge had looked like. He headed back to his quarters, previous worries and nightmares forgotten in the wake of that good new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's only maybe three people who would understand the shuttle jumping joke here. True story, it happened in an RP, Kirk jumped out of a moving shuttle, onto a different shuttle. It was wild. You had to be there.


	29. Can We Start Over... Again?

Just as he said he would, Kirk sent Sulu a message a few hours later asking him, again, if he was alright with being alone with the Alpha. That he was free to change his mind at any time if he’d prefer McCoy or Chekov’s presence. Or the presence of anyone else at all. Sulu hadn’t really known how to answer that, what the right answer was at all. Now that he was alone with his own thoughts, he couldn’t help but doubt the Alpha’s words and intentions.

Did Kirk _want_ an audience? He’s asked before, dismissed the idea a moment later, but was asking again. Was this really a choice, or some sick test he’d be punished for failing. And even if it wasn’t, Sulu didn’t have an answer anyway. No, he wasn’t comfortable being alone with Kirk, didn’t believe all those pretty promises the Alpha had made. Kirk had promised not to hurt him, but there were worse things than being beaten. How long until the Alpha demanded those? He didn’t want an audience for that, so no, he didn’t feel comfortable having anyone else present either.

Kirk wanted an answer one way or another though, he had to want an answer why else would he have asked. He’d put the question in the message with the time he could come to see Kirk if he wanted to. What the hell he meant by ‘if he wanted to’ was beyond Sulu. As if he had a choice in the matter. That bit of the message was what really made him think the Alpha was playing some game.

And maybe he was just being paranoid, because the lunch he’d agreed to go to with Chekov and Kirk had went well enough. Kirk had been… friendly was as close to the truth as he would let himself describe the meeting. The Alpha hadn’t been demanding or dominant, had in fact treated Sulu much like he treated Chekov. He shook his head, sending a return message that no, he’d prefer it just be him and Kirk and that he would arrive at the suggested time. Chekov had been right so far about Kirk, so he'd give it a chance.

~~

Sulu remained on his feet as he entered Kirk’s quarters this time, though he had to make a conscious effort not to kneel it was such a habit at this point. He watched Kirk come over, trying to see the man how Chekov did. It helped, having gone to lunch with him, seeing him laughing and joking with Pavel. He was still terrified of the guy, but he'd give it a chance. For Chekov.

“We can do whatever you want. Even if it’s just sitting, reading or listening to music, a movie, silence. Whatever you say goes.” Kirk was saying, looking nervous himself for some reason.

Sulu tilted his head, considering. Now that Kirk mentioned it, just sitting and listening to music sounded great. He’d had a long day, stressful for all that he hadn’t done that much to be stressed about. He hadn’t had the opportunity to just sit and relax and do nothing in a while. Well, he’d had plenty of the ‘nothing’ and little of the ‘relaxing’. Kirk had been the one to suggest it, so Sulu hoped he might actually be able to relax _without_ worrying about an unhappy Alpha.

“Just, music, sounds good. If that’s alright?” Sulu finally decided, unable to help asking.

“That’s great, yeah, perfectly alright.” Kirk smiled happily. “And, if there’s anything you want, or need, that will help you relax, just let me know, alright?”

Doing nothing was fine, he didn’t want to ask for anything more. If things went the way Kirk was hinting at, it sounded a lot like the way the Alpha at the Academy had acted. Pretty much every time he’d gone to see him, Sulu’d just lounged on the couch while the man had graded papers or read, sometimes sitting next to Sulu, though more often times not. The Alpha just being there had been enough, so Sulu hadn’t minded too much.

Sulu bit the inside of his cheek, nodding but saying nothing. Taking those times into consideration instead of the many others with Jameson, he considered asking for Kirk to sit next to him, have some kind of physical contact. He didn’t, however, because he couldn’t risk Kirk taking it too far, blaming him later that he’d _asked_ for it, why was he complaining? And there was Jameson’s voice again in the back of his mind, calling a slutty whore, reminding him of his place and-

“It’s fine if you don’t want to share, we’ll just hang out.” Kirk interrupted his thoughts, pulling Sulu back to the present. “And if I’m doing anything you don’t like, or I make you uncomfortable for any reason, just tell me. I’ll stop. Okay?”

Sulu nodded, because, sure yeah. Why the hell not. If he could get his mouth to spit the words out, he’d test that theory at least once. It’d be a surprising change of pace to go from begging Alpha to stop to just having to ask. And being listened to instead of punished.

“Good.” Kirk smiled, sounding a little relieved, and moving over to settle down and patting the seat beside him. “Come here.”

Hikaru flinched at those words, eyes dropping to the floor automatically as his body moved forward rigidly.

“Hey, hey. Easy, Sulu. It’s alright, not gonna hurt you.” Kirk spoke up quickly, shocked at the sudden change in the pilot. They’d been doing so well and it felt like they’d actually made some progress. He hoped maybe he’d snapped Sulu out of whatever had happened because the Omega stopped moving forward. That little dream was short lived as Sulu slowly sank to his knees, shaking and crawling the last few feet over to Kirk.

Kirk watched him move over, brain not wanting to comprehend what he was seeing. Kirk was afraid to touch him, positive that would not be well received, but the Omega was sitting back on his heels, head down and seemed to just be waiting. There was a little voice in the back of his head (and he’d go to his grave insisting it did not sound like McCoy) that said this was some kind of conditioned response or flashback or something. Although how the heck he was supposed to go about dealing with it was a whole different problem.

Carefully, Kirk slid off the couch, resting on his knees beside Sulu. Whatever hell was replaying in his mind, maybe he could shift Sulu’s focus, get him to realize this scene was different. That whatever had happened before wasn’t about to happen now. Sulu twitched a little, not quite a flinch, head moving almost like he wanted to look up at Kirk.

“It’s alright Sulu, I’m not going to hurt you. You can look up at me if you want.” Slowly, Sulu glanced up at him and Kirk rewarded him with a smile.

“Sorry, Alpha.” Sulu apologized quietly, eyes still full of fear.

Kirk shook his head. “No, it’s not your fault, you have nothing to apologize for. You don’t have to, but if you want, you can tell me what I did wrong, I won’t hurt you for it, and I’ll make sure I don’t do it again.” Kirk backtracked as Sulu whimpered, shrinking away from him. “You don’t have to, it’s alright. I won’t hurt you. We can just listen to music, yeah?”

Sulu nodded, relaxing slightly as he came back to present, feeling stupid at how childish he was acting but relieved that Kirk wasn’t going to make him say that the Alpha had done something wrong. He knew this was Kirk and not Jameson. While he still didn’t fully trust the captain, he knew the man had a different set of expectations for him. Even knowing that, hearing Kirk say those two words…

He hadn’t been on the Enterprise anymore, he was back on the Indiana and Alpha was angry and told him to _come here_ , made him crawl like he was less than human. He knew what would happen after that, what _always_ happened after that. But then Kirk was beside him, reassuring him instead of becoming angry.

Sulu watched uneasily as Kirk slid back up to his seat on the couch, but the Alpha just smiled at him and gestured for him to follow. He did so, sitting next to Kirk nervously as he started music playing, looking down at his hands in his lap. Sulu wanted to lay down, close his eyes and relax, he really did, but he was afraid that something might happen to shift the Alpha’s mood, and he wouldn’t see in time to try and fix it. He licked his lips, and idea occurring to him, and glanced over at Kirk.

“Sir?” He asked quietly, hoping that this wasn’t going to backfire on him as Kirk’s attention fell on him. He had no right to ask anything after what had just happened. “Could you… uh... that mission that McCoy mentioned in sickbay. Why did you jump out of a shuttle?” He was, honestly, very curious about that, had been since he’d left the captain in sickbay. He was relieved when Kirk’s face lit up with a grin, because, thank god, he’d done something right for a change.

“Don’t let McCoy fool you, he thinks this story is awesome too.” Kirk began, grinning widely. Not only did he really like telling this story, mostly because of the way it made McCoy scowl, but Sulu had asked! That just seemed like a step in a good direction to Kirk.

Hikaru closed his eyes as Kirk started talking leaning back and just listening to the words. Kirk was right, it was a good story. Sulu nodded agreeably when Kirk paused his story long enough to ask permission to touch him, and wasn’t that something new, being asked. He couldn’t help but tense slightly at the first contact, but didn’t pull away. He’d agreed to this after all, had been okay with it. Kirk simply placed a gentle hand on his wrist, grounding Sulu in the moment, then continued speaking. He felt himself relax as Kirk kept talking, moving on from one topic to the next.


	30. One Step Forward

Sulu’d just started truly relaxing, thinking that maybe if this continued he could stop feeling like a train wreck all the time, when Kirk went quiet. Hikaru tensed, wondering what he’d done wrong. He’d been listening to the Alpha talk, even giving him answers when he’d been asked things. They might have just been non verbal hums, and the occasional yes and no with a vague bit of clarification, but enough that Kirk couldn’t possibly think he was ignoring him.

“You haven’t said very much. Are you alright?” Kirk asked, looking over at Sulu in concern.

Sulu shrank back, hunching his shoulders instinctively, for all the good it would do. Kirk was sitting so close, if he wanted, the Alpha could easily pull him over, throw him onto the ground if he wanted. Kirk hadn’t sounded angry, but it was the first thing even remotely negative he’d said towards Sulu. “Sorry, sir.” Sulu spoke quietly, risking a glance up at the Alpha’s face. His expression matched his words, full of curious concern and devoid of anger.

“Hey, it’s fine. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, just, uh… You can, if you want to.” Kirk flushed a little, that had come out all jumbled and not very coherent. But it was awkward trying to tell the guy he could talk, because he had no idea if Jameson had made Sulu think he wasn’t allowed to talk or something. “I just don’t want you to think you can’t.”

“I don’t, I mean, I know… He didn’t like…” Sulu trailed off, feeling like he was supposed to say something but he was not really comfortable sharing, despite Kirk’s relaxed disposition. “I... have a tendency to curse… when… when…” He cursed when he was in pain or stressed, and he’d learned to just shut his mouth when Jameson started taking his pain fueled expletive’s as an invitation and telling him there were better uses for his mouth than words like those. Not that he could really get himself to cooperate and explain that to Kirk, he didn’t want to give the Alpha ideas prematurely.

“Hey, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. I won’t bother me no matter how many swear words you use. I went to the Academy with Bones after all, and let me tell you, I think I’ve heard about all there is.” Kirk explained, hoping to make Sulu feel better and more at ease. “You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. What you say goes, remember?”

“What I say goes…” Sulu murmured lowly, nervous but too curious to stop from asking. Kirk hadn’t hit him yet, and he’d done more than enough to give the man cause. “…for how long?”

“As long as you decide you want to keep seeing me.” Kirk told him easily. He continued on, taking the opportunity while it presented itself. “And you don’t have to, you know. McCoy, or even Spock, would be willing to be here instead. All you have to do is give one of us a heads up. Once McCoy gives you the all 100% clear, you can decide how often you want to have these sessions. You know your own body, none of us will try and dictate that for you.”

Sulu frowned, puzzled. He could… go to any of the other Alphas? “I’m assigned to you though, sir, right? I’d thought… When I was transferred here they assigned me to you, were you, I mean are you reassigning that?” It was a biological fact that Alpha’s tended towards being dominant and possessive, he knew this. Sulu had learned firsthand how when they felt something was theirs, like a new Omega for instance, they didn’t like giving it up or even sharing.

Kirk nodded slowly, brow furrowing as he tried to puzzle through what Sulu was asking. “Yes, they did, and no, I’m not. But, that’s really just a…” He shifted, pausing to organize his thoughts to explain it correctly. “It’s basically just a formality. For physical and mental health, an Omega has to have an Alpha around, at some point they just have to balance each other out, though it’s more important for an Omega.” He paused, looking over at Sulu to make sure that the pilot was following. Hikaru raised an eyebrow slightly, and Kirk took that as a sign for ‘yes I know that, go on already’.

“Assigning a pair is really just a way for Starfleet to make sure an Omega has someone around. Instead of accidentally sending them to a science base or ship with no Alpha and them getting sick because of it. It doesn’t mean you belong to me. You can see whoever you want.”

Sulu was quiet for a moment, considering those words. It sounded like everything he’d been taught back at the Academy, and he knew he’d thought that more than once since joining the Enterprise crew. He had been _taught_ that concept, yes, but it wasn’t what he’d learned to be in practice. Yet, what Kirk said made sense. They shouldn’t be able to tell him who he could be with, who he could see, who he belonged to.

While it was a comforting knowledge, comforting because it sounded like Kirk would respect that ideal, it also created a pit in his stomach. He felt almost ashamed, stupid for how he’d just… accepted things on the Indiana. He’d _known_ that what they were doing was _nothing_ like Starfleet stood for, but he’d just… he’d let the captain and the CMO there just shut him down.

“Alright, Sulu?” Kirk asked, concern coloring his tone again.

“Yes, sir.” Hikaru answered automatically as he glanced up at the captain, nodding slightly. He wasn’t sure if ‘alright’ really described him right now. Maybe one day, he might be, hoped he would be, but for now… For now he had a lot to think about.

“You can call me Jim here, if you want, or Kirk even. I’m not a stickler for that whole ‘sir’ and ‘captain’ thing in the casual setting. Or even on the bridge most of the time. Except if there’s a visiting Admiral or Ambassador or something of course. Bones says I should suck it up and quite griping because it means people like and respect me, but personally, I think it’d be nice if more than just Spock and McCoy used my name on a daily basis.”

Sulu glanced up at Kirk yet again, confused once more. Sure, he could understand and see where Kirk was coming from with that last little speech, but this? Just inviting him to be so casual? “I wouldn’t want to be disrespectful.” He said, nervous at the thought.

“Hey, there’s no pressure. And you wouldn’t be being disrespectful by calling me Kirk or Jim. It’d be way better than Uhura. I mean, I wouldn’t call it disrespectful really, because we’re friends, went to the academy together, but she’s got this way of saying ‘captain’ or ‘sir’ and I just know she thinks I’m being an idiot.”

“She sounds interesting.” Sulu commented. He found himself surprised at the turn this had all taken. They were sitting here talking like it was no big deal, like they had done during lunch, just Chekov wasn’t here right now.

“She’s the communications officer, so you’ll see here on the bridge tomorrow.”

Sulu nodded, wondering if he’d seen her the other day when he’d visited the bridge, just hadn’t notice because he’d been too awestruck by the lights. He watched Kirk smother a yawn, asking a little hesitantly, unsure if he’d overstayed his welcome. “I should… Sorry, sir, should… did you want me to leave?”

“Stay as long as you want, sorry, I wasn’t trying to hint at anything.”

“I think… If it’s alright with you, sir, I might go?” Sulu couldn’t help the questioning tone. Despite Kirk’s reassurance, his was too used to the rushed of adrenaline following any encounter with Jameson, the mad scramble to dress before he was thrown bodily from the room. Worse were the nights Jamson didn’t throw him out, when Sulu was too sore and hurting to immediately get up. It always felt like a race, trying to dress and leave before Jameson’s interest and attentions returned to him. Hikaru twitched back, shrinking away slightly as Kirk stood up.

“Hey, it’s alright, I’m not gonna do anything. You can leave whenever you want.” Kirk reassured him, taking a step back to give Sulu some space.

“Sorry, sorry.” Sulu apologized, dropping his gaze. “I-I know you weren’t going to… wouldn’t…” The words stuck in his throat and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to try and say them, wasn’t ready to even acknowledge why he’d even _started_ to say them.

“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.” Kirk was saying again, for what Sulu was sure was the millionth time (seriously, was Kirk never going to get tired of trying to deal with him??). He looked up to meet Kirk’s gaze at the Alpha continued. “But, if you ever do, want to talk about it, I’ll listen. I won’t judge. You’re safe here, alright?”

Everyone kept saying it, over and over, and he really wished he could believe it. He didn’t think they were lying, but he couldn’t get the rest of him to accept it, to stop waiting for reality to set back in. He nodded, moving to leave though he cast a reflexive glance at Kirk as he did so. The captain just gave him a smile, lifting a hand and half waving. “Have a good evening, ‘kay?”

“You too, sir.” Sulu responded, a little incredulous and perhaps amused at Kirk’s antics.

He wasn’t quite as relaxed as he might have wanted to be as he left, the easy calm had turned into tension following that serious conversation. It faded as he walked towards his room, fatigue catching up to him. He’d hardly done anything at all today, but it felt like his brain had been working overtime trying to keep up with all of the new information and it just made him tired.

Sulu stopped, turning as he heard his name being called. Chekov was trotting down the corridor towards him, excitement plastered on his face. “Hey, Pav.” He greeted his friend when the Russian was close enough to hear. “Looks like you heard the good news.”

“Hey Karu.” Pavel grinned, falling into step beside Sulu as the pilot started walking again. “Vhat news?”

“Well, while you were off in engineering, _I_ got cleared for duty.” Sulu informed him, adopting an aloof tone and giving a sassy toss of his head.

“Zhat is vonderful!” Chekov cheered, giving a little skip.

“Yup.” Sulu nodded. “Start tomorrow. Gonna be a relief, I’ve been on leave for what feels like _forever_. Thought I’d die of boredom.”

Chekov scoffed, shaking his head. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be amused or disapproving. Sulu’d been hurt, he had needed that time off to heal after being held prisoner for over a week and the backlash of Jameson's death. But hearing him describe it in that tone was somewhat funny. “I vas just coming to look for you to see if you vanted to hang out, vatch a movie?”

Sulu considered that. Hanging out with Chekov sounded nice. It would be almost like a continuation of the relaxed calm he’d had going with Kirk a little while ago. Except… Chekov’s room was so far away. Sulu’s own quarters were only a few doors down, and while he knew he didn’t have anything to hide from Pav yet, he still preferred the Russian’s room. The nightmares always seemed to have a harder time finding him when he was sleeping in Chekov’s bed.

But… maybe just this once, they’d leave him alone. Chekov would be right there with him, and he was too tired to want to go three decks up. “C’mon. You can hang out in my room.” He finally decided, throwing and arm over Chekov’s shoulder in a half hug.


	31. Cutting Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING:** Mind the page breaks, it's at the beginning this time.

 

 

**********************

”Little whore. You just can’t get enough can you? Love the taste of your Alpha. Belong to me. Bitch. Slut. Mmm. So good, taking me like the little whore you are.” 

Sulu choked, tears rolling down his face because he couldn’t breathe, his throat burned, but Jameson wouldn’t stop. He choked again, thrashing this time because he needed to breath, he couldn’t breath, and Jameson pulled back with a snarl. 

In an instant he was stripped, hands tied in front of him because he’d tried to push Jameson back, lying face down on the bed. Jameson stood over him, face twisted. 

“Stupid Omega, will you ever learn?” He jeered, swinging the belt and Sulu screamed, begged him to stop, please it was enough he couldn’t take anymore, please. He sobbed with relief when Jameson dropped the belt, moving behind him.

“No.” He begged, pleaded when the Alpha’s form loomed over him, pressing down on him. He hadn’t wanted this, please.

“You asked for this, slut. Don’t you remember? Begged me to drop the belt. How else will you learn? You don’t want a beating, then you better make it good for me. I’ll make you mine, just like you wanted. Little Omega, needs an Alpha in him, filling him up.” Alpha was laughing, shoving into Sulu without any warning.

Sulu cried out, trying to claw his way out from under Jameson, it _hurt_ and Jameson never cared, loved the way Sulu’s screams sounded. He choked, screams silenced by the Alpha taking his mouth, his throat burning all over again. He tried to scream, struggling, but the two Alpha’s held him still, laughing as the took their pleasure.

Sulu couldn’t understand, Jameson didn’t share. He threatened and threatened, but he didn’t. But they weren’t Jameson, he understood when one of them jerked his head back, sinking their teeth into his neck. Of course. Kirk. McCoy. He belonged to them now.

 

 

***************

Sulu woke up shivering, cold despite the clothes he was wearing and the blanket under him but… no no no, he wasn’t supposed to be here, Alpha didn’t let him stay didn’t let him stay… Staying was dangerous, Alpha would use him again. But why was he dressed? He hadn’t started yet? Was he waiting, was Sulu supposed to be _doing_ something? Hikaru’s breath hitched, eyes wide as he backed away, falling from the bed with a yelp.

Chekov stirred at Sulu's quiet mumbles. He rubbed his face, letting out a sleepy and croaky 'what', not thinking much of it. When Hikaru moved away taking the extra warmth with him, Pavel opened his eyes. He looked up just in time to see him fall out of bed. Surprise was followed by a series of quiet, somewhat sleepy, giggles as Chekov moved to the edge, peeking over. "Vhat are you doing?"

Sulu shrank back, cringing away at the question. He didn’t hear the accent, didn’t hear the tone. He only knew Alpha asked a question. He didn’t dare look up, Alpha _hated_ that, said it was disrespectful. He couldn’t be disrespectful, knew what that would get him, he didn’t want to start this out like that. Hated it. Hated the taste the smell. He didn’t want that punishment. “Sorry, sorry.” He whined, unable to stop shaking. “Won’t do it again, I swear.” He flinched, no he couldn’t swear, Alpha always corrected him when he cursed, forced him on his knees and took his mouth.

Chekov frowned, instantly alert now. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. "Karu? Karu, it's fine, you did not do anyzhing." He shifted on the bed, reaching out a hand and lightly touching Sulu's shoulder. It terrified him the way the pilot shook.

Sulu cowered at the touch, pulling back and scooting away. He knew it would just make it worse, Jameson always said he should just take it like a good little bitch. He stopped when his back hit a wall, breath coming too quickly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, don’t, I won’t…” He’d been bad though, knew he was going to be punished, but he just… he hadn’t meant to, but… He whined lowly, pressing himself back.

Chekov's fear and concern grew as Sulu backed away. He had no idea what was happening, or what exactly Hikaru was saying seeing as the pilot was near whispering, which made it so much worse. He climbed off the bed and sat on the floor. He stayed by the side of the bed, unsure if he should go sit next to Sulu or not. "Hikaru," he called softly, trying to keep his voice calm and hoping that hearing his name would help. "Karu, it's just a dream. You are okay, I promise you."

Sulu curled up slightly, breath coming in short gasps as he tried to be quiet, not cry, thoroughly failing. It was so hard to breath, the waiting was the worst part, and he couldn’t breathe properly _again_. The thought only made it worse, because what if they gave him something again, like last time? Was Chekov here? No, no, that was… Chekov was safe, on the Enterprise. But then why would Kirk be here, making him forget… He could… “I’ll be good, you don’t have to... I’ll be good.” He spoke up, half looking up before dropping his eyes. “No, no, can’t do that, it’s bad, disrespectful, can’t…” He couldn’t think straight, didn’t know where he was anymore. Was it the Enterprise or the Indiana?

The hair on the back of Chekov's neck stood on end as Sulu spoke. It was so hard hearing him breath like that, speak like that, _act_ like that. He’d seen Sulu in bad shape before, but never so incoherent. Even on the worst days he’d answer, make up some lie and smile, try and convince Chekov that he was okay.

Before he knew it, Pavel was beside Sulu. He bit his tongue, shaking slightly himself, but the motion was not nearly as bad as the tremors running across Hikaru’s form. Talking hadn't worked, but maybe a touch would? Sulu had always been tactile, which was what made it hurt so much when his friend had started pulling away from him back on the Indiana.

Slowly, hesitatingly, Chekov slipped an arm around Sulu's shoulders, gently pulling the man closer. "Shh, please listen to me," he pleaded in a whisper. "You are okay, you are safe." He considered calling Kirk or McCoy to help, but he had faith that Karu would make it out. Besides, another person in the room didn't sound like the best thing at the moment.

Sulu went stock still for a moment, no longer shaking, feeling the warmth around him, on him, holding him down. He could hear Jameson, feel him. He didn’t want this. He hadn’t meant to make Jameson think he wanted this. He should never have talked to Smith, should never have even looked at the other man. “No.” He whispered, a slight shiver running through him. “No. I don’t…”

But he’d asked for it, hadn’t he? Jameson said he wanted it, he’d asked for it, thrown himself at the closes Alpha just wanting this. He couldn’t move, his back burned white hot and he couldn’t move. Jameson was there, on him, _in him_ , pressing him down speaking disgusting words and he _couldn’t move_.

He screamed.

Chekov let go, flinching back at the terrified cry from his friend. He looked at Sulu with wide eyes, heart skipping a beat. It nearly jumped out of his chest a few seconds later when it registered what Sulu was saying.

“Please, please, stop. Please stop, Alpha, please.”

The sheer terror and desperation in those pleas drove Chekov to his feet, sending him rushing toward the comm as fast as he could. He called McCoy, not sure if he was speaking English or Russian, just begging the doctor to please hurry, something was so _very_ wrong.

Chekov turned to look at Sulu through tear filled eyes as McCoy told him he was on his way. The pilot’s volume had dropped and Chekov couldn’t make out the words anymore, but he was still talking, begging for mercy from a ghost. Pavel didn’t know what to do.


	32. Wake Me Up

McCoy wasn’t in the best of moods when he arrived, med kit in hand. He didn’t have much of a clue what he was walking into, he’d only understood a fraction of what the Russian was saying. It was Sulu’s quarters though, so he could guess it had something to do with the pilot, which meant he needed to keep control of his irritation.

His eyes narrowed as he looked between the two of them, taking in Sulu on the floor by the wall, listening for a moment to what the kid was saying. He frowned in concern, turning to Chekov. “What happened?” He asked, flipping open his medkit and looking for the sedative. Going by Sulu’s condition, it was likely he’d need it, but he’d try calming the pilot down first.

"I-I do not know. He voke up and started babbling about somezhing and zhen - and zhen somezhing happened and eet vas like he broke!" Chekov shuddered, wrapping his arms around himself, trying to keep his own panic under control.

McCoy found the hypo, taking it out and placing the rest of the kit on the desk. “Alright, easy. It’s probably just a flashback, kinda like a waking nightmare. Did he hurt himself, anything like that?” McCoy asked. He’d check Sulu over himself later, but knowing ahead of time would help. He didn’t know how long it would take to calm him down without drugs, and if the pilot was already hurt he might have to skip that part.

Chekov blinked, trying to think. "I do not zhink so..." he replied slowly, frowning. "Not zhat I know of. He fell of zhe bed." he didn't think anyone could get seriously hurt by falling off their bed, but he knew the doctor would want any and all information. Chekov took a hesitant step forward, gaze flickering between McCoy and Sulu nervously. "Vill he be okay?"

McCoy nodded, relieved that at least Sulu hadn’t done anything to himself during the episode. “He’ll be fine.” He glanced over at Sulu again, taking a calming breath before looking back at Chekov. “Alright. I want you to stay here, don’t come over, don’t move closer. Try and stay as calm as possible. I won’t hurt him, but he doesn’t know that right now.” Bones explained, tones even and soothing. He needed Chekov to calm down. He wasn’t sure how sending Pavel away would affect Sulu. If the pilot came back around to find Chekov gone but McCoy here, he might just panic all over again. The same thing would happen if Sulu calmed down some only to see his best friend in distress. “If you don’t think you can do that, I’ll have to ask you to leave. Understand?”

Chekov paled some at the threat, but nodded obediently. He decided to sit down: standing would only make him want to go forward. "Is zhere anyzhing I can do?" he asked quietly. He felt so useless and he wanted Sulu to feel safe as soon as possible.

“Maybe.” McCoy stated, frowning slightly. He wasn’t sure if there was, this wasn’t exactly like the other day in Kirk’s quarters. “Just sit tight, I’ll let you know if you can.”

Now that he had Chekov dealt with, McCoy turned, putting the hypo in his pocket out of sight, and slowly walked toward Sulu. “Hey, kid. Easy.” He called out, tone low and commanding, attempting to break through to the pilot, get his attention. He stopped, crouching down at a pained noise from Sulu. “Easy kid.”

“I’m sorry.” Sulu panted out, glassy eyes looking up at McCoy briefly. “It wasn’t like that, I swear I don’t want this.”

“Alright.” McCoy agreed shifting closer, ignoring how Sulu flinched away from him.

Sulu had though he was in trouble before, thought he’d been afraid before, but catching the scent of Alpha entering the room made him realize. He tried to focus, he really did, but it was so _hard_. It was… it wasn’t Jameson, no. He was dead. He was gone. Then why did his neck ache? He could still feel Alpha’s teeth, could feel that familiar sickness in his stomach when Alpha took him, making him scream in pain while Alpha laughed.

“Mister Sulu.”

Hikaru flinched again at the words, breathing in the scent of Alpha, so much closer than before. Too close. Too close, he didn’t want this. “Please, Alpha. I’m sorry. I- I didn’t mean to. I don’t want to…” His voice dropped low, cringing back from McCoy, one hand moving to cover the scar on his shoulder. “Please don’t… please don’t, sir. Please. I’ll be good. Please. Just not this, not again, please?”

Sulu wanted to cry at the anger that rolled from the Alpha, couldn’t stop himself from crying, silent tears rolling down his face. He didn’t pull away from the hand reaching toward him, there was nowhere to go anyway and avoiding Alpha only made it worse.

“I won’t, kid. Easy.” McCoy was speaking to him, Sulu’s heart skipping as he tried to pay attention, tried to listen. That’s right, this was McCoy. Not Alpha. Just McCoy. “I won’t hurt you. I know I’m angry, but not at you. It’s alright. I won’t hurt you.”

Sulu choked out a sob, closing his eyes as a gently hand brushed his shoulder. Alpha wasn’t angry with him, but he _was_ angry. Sulu could scent it and McCoy hadn’t denied it. He wasn’t angry with him, but that didn’t always matter. Never mattered. Sulu was the little bitch they kept around to make sure the ship ran smoothly, which meant making the Alpha happy, which meant taking the beating when the Alpha was angry.

But a beating wasn’t enough anymore, hadn’t been for a while. Jameson always wanted more, wanted him on his knees. He should get it over with, please McCoy and maybe he’d just use his mouth, maybe he wouldn’t beat him after, wouldn’t claim him like Jameson had over and over again. He moved forward, closing the last bit of distance between himself and McCoy. He was keenly aware of the other person in the room, for all he had no idea who it was right now, didn’t want to have to do this with an audience. But, maybe it was Kirk, maybe this is what he’d wanted, been hinting at, this whole time.

Sulu reached trembling hands out, fumbling at McCoy’s pants. He didn’t want an audience for this, but he’d do this, please the Alpha, and maybe it would be over. He’d be allowed to go back to his quarters, Jameson would be pleased, wouldn’t want any more from him this time.

He froze at the sound of a low growl from the Alpha, the scent of anger turning to rage. He whimpered as McCoy reached down to cup his chin, gently but forcefully pulling him upright until he was sitting back on his heels. Sulu cringed, waiting for a blow, but McCoy didn’t hit him.

“You don’t have to do that here, Sulu.” McCoy told him, voice firm. “Listen to me. You’re in your quarters. On the Starship Enterprise. My name is Leonard McCoy and you are safe here. Alright? You’re safe. You’re in your quarters on the starship Enterprise.” McCoy continued to repeat the words, shifting his grip once he was sure Sulu wouldn’t attempt _that_ again, brushing his hand down Sulu’s arm, wrapping his fingers around the Omega’s wrist, grounding him and keeping track of his pulse.

McCoy was kicking himself, he should have done this technique sooner, shouldn’t have lost his damn temper in the first place. There wasn’t much to do now but keep talking, it was already starting to have an effect. Sulu was breathing more evenly, too fast for his liking, but more easily at least.

Leonard fell silent as Sulu met his gaze, eyes clear though filled with a nervous fear. “You back with me?”

Sulu dropped his eyes, letting out a nervous breath and nodding. “Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”

McCoy pursed his lips, shaking his head. “No need to be sorry. You’re safe here. Mister Chekov said you fell, I’m just going to check make sure you haven’t got any injuries from that, alright?” He didn’t see anything that indicated any blunt trauma, no blood anywhere. McCoy traced a hand down the back of Sulu’s skull and neck, making sure nothing was out of alignment.

Hikaru tensed at the contact, breath speeding up as he tilted his head submissively.

“Easy Sulu, it’s not like that.” McCoy assured him, pulling back once he’d finished. “Just needed to make sure nothin was broken.”

“Sorry, sir.”

McCoy frowned at the dull, near listless tone. “You didn’t do nothing wrong. You still with me?” The automatic nod that question got in response did nothing to reassure McCoy, and he gently drew Sulu up, guiding him to sit on the edge of the bed, holding a hand up to Chekov to keep him where he was.

“I believe you, and you’re safe, so can you tell me where you are?” McCoy asked, wanting to make sure Sulu wasn’t still stuck in whatever hell his mind had dragged him back to.

“In my quarters, on the Enterprise.” Sulu responded, tone unchanged.

“Alright, good.” McCoy nodded to himself, though he was still worried. “I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but if you can you should try and get some more rest. I’d hate for our driver to fall asleep at the wheel.”

Sulu’s gaze flickered up to meet McCoy’s and the doctor was relieved to see the clarity in his eyes. The pilot seemed surprised by his comment though, and McCoy thought he understood the reason for the dull tone from before. “Either of you two need anything else, you know where to find me.” He shifted his glance between the both of them, stopping to give Chekov a once over to make sure _he_ wasn’t hurt, then left.

For the longest time, Chekov and Sulu just sat in silence. Hikaru didn’t think he’d get to sleep again, despite the relief that McCoy wasn’t going to put him back on leave. He was calmer now, yes, feeling more exhausted than when he’d fallen asleep before. He snuck a glance at Pavel, guilt curling in his belly at the frightened and hesitant expression. He wished he could reassure his friend, but after what Chekov had just seen, Sulu didn’t think there was any lie that would make it go away.

Eventually, Chekov scooted closer, hesitant to even touch Sulu, but the pilot closed the distance to settle beside him. He was unable to say anything, grateful when Chekov didn’t ask, didn’t press, just started speaking in soft Russian. Before he’d even realized it, Sulu was curled against him, listening to Chekov speak, not caring that he didn’t understand the words. The rhythm was what followed him into sleep.


	33. Power of the Corrupt

Kirk yawned, stretching lightly as he approached McCoy. “Mornin Bones.” He greeted the doctor, taking a sip of his coffee and passing the spare cup to McCoy. The doctor straightening up from where he’d slouched over, having leaned his head on one hand, and turned tired eyes to Kirk.

McCoy accepted it with a grunt. He wasn’t too keen on this conversation, but Kirk needed to know what to watch out for. He’d messaged Kirk to meet him in sickbay, clicking the communicator off before the captain had a chance to complain as to the place or time.

“So, you said you had something you wanted to talk about?” Jim asked, sinking into the chair across from Bones.

“Yeah.” McCoy growled, and Kirk knew this was going to be another one of those conversations he wasn’t going to like. “Got called to Sulu’s quarters early this morning, kid was having a flashback. I’m not pulling him off duty, not yet anyway. Having something to do might help anyway, get him to realize he’s part of the crew not some…”

Kirk frowned, sitting up at the frustrated and angry noise McCoy made. “What happened?”

Bones recounted the events of the previous night, frustration and stress evident in his words. He gave Kirk a hard look once he’d finished. “Considering that Sulu and Jameson were Bonded, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the abuse wasn’t just physical and psychological. Thought I think the sexual abuse started even before the Bond.”

Kirk growled, his whole body replete with a tense fury. He knew Bones was right, Sulu and Jameson had been Bonded for a year, it shouldn’t be a surprise. Still, the thought that a Starfleet officer would _rape_ a colleague…

“I know it’s hard to hear, Jim. Dammit, it was hard to watch, realizing what he was trying to do, what he thought he _had_ to do. Kid was terrified.”

Kirk sighed, leaning his elbow on McCoy’s desk and putting his head in his hands. “Damn it… You think it might have been something I did?” Kirk looked up at McCoy, feeling a bit guilty. “He did have a moment last night, I think might have been a flashback, he got on his knees, crawled over to me, but he just sat there, like he was waiting. He came out of it quick though, seemed to even relax after. Seemed fine when he left.”

“If you’d have done something that made him think that you were expecting sex, I’m sure you’d have known. He didn’t have much problem telling me he didn’t want that, at least at first. If I had to guess, I’d say he had some kinda nightmare, woke up disoriented, couldn’t really pull himself out.”

They were silent for a moment, both of them contemplating this new bit of information. After a while, McCoy let out a long angry sigh, shaking his head. Kirks scoffed humorlessly, he completely understood, and echoed, the doctor’s sentiment. He resolved to be more careful, make sure Sulu knew that he didn’t expect that of him. Knew that none of the Alpha’s here would either. That no one _should_.

“After what I heard, saw, last night, I can’t help but wonder if they even let him do his job over there, or just kept him around for Jameson. It’s why I don’t want to pull him off duty. His files all but nonexistent, and it wouldn’t surprise me if what we do have is just a heaping pile of horse shit.” McCoy complained, turning to his computer and pulling up the file itself. “Look at it. Just a service history of one job, no write ups, no injuries on the job, nothing. No sick days. It might as well just have his damn name and a blank page. Lucky it even lists him as Omega.”

Kirk frowned, peering at the limited information on the screen. “It’s gonna be hard getting proof they kept him listed as active and on duty but didn’t allow him to actual perform those duties. But, if they were false… You think they are, don’t you. And that his medical records don’t really exist at all. And that’s why you haven’t been able to get an answer. They only have the basics because the CMO there just didn’t report anything.” Kirk summarized.

McCoy nodded, slumping back in his chair. “We’re gonna need some help with this Jim, someone with more pull than just a Captain of a starship and his chief medical officer. You don’t get medical files as screwed up and inaccurate as this without someone on the inside making sure questions don’t get asked. And that means someone higher up.” McCoy informed him, crossing his arms and frowning at Kirk. “It’s a good thing Sulu is as skilled as he is, we might not have got him transferred here at all. Someone’s got an agenda, and I doubt Sulu’s the only Omega to suffer for it.”

“You think this sort of thing has happened to other officers?” Kirk asked, not liking the sound of that one bit. He couldn’t deny it, the thought made sense. If there were people in Starfleet working against the anti-discrimination laws, then of course Sulu wouldn’t have been the only one affected.

“Maybe. There aren’t many Omega’s in Starfleet and, so far as I know, there has never been any complaints lodged by anyone for violating Omega rights or anti-discrimination laws. But Sulu obviously had his rights taken away by the bastards on that ship, and he hadn’t filed any either. At least, not officially. So it’s gonna be hard to find proof.”

“Spock’s looking into the crew of the Indiana. I'll make sure he know to look for any evidence Sulu wasn't actually working as pilot there. Sulu’s well enough physically that he doesn’t need to see me daily, right?” Kirk asked, continuing as McCoy nodded in assent. “I’ll contact Admiral Pike, get him on this. If this runs deeper into the federation it’s gonna take a hell of an effort to sort it out. He’ll get us started lodging a complaint on Sulu’s behalf. Even if we don't make that one official until he's ready. We can file our own as well, get it from all angles. I’ll see if he would be able to search for any other indications of abuse to other Omegas. In the meantime, I’ll start looking into the captain.”

“They’re gonna want Sulu’s side of the story at some point, Jim.”

“I know, I’ve thought about that. I told Sulu he could talk to me if he ever wanted, so at least it’s been put out there.”

“Maybe he’ll feel safer about it now that someone’s acknowledged something is wrong.” McCoy hoped that would be the case anyway. He probably shouldn’t take last night as a bad sign, no matter how safe Sulu felt there was going to be a long road before he wasn’t haunted by what had happened. He sighed heavily. “I’m gonna have to do a full physical on him at some point. Preferably before whatever bull shit medical report gets handed to me by Heuly. I want my own report, done correctly, and it wouldn’t hurt to have it signed off on by Spock. Any court would accept him as being impartial and not emotionally involved in the case. But even with that, they could possible pass off any phycological evidence as just backlash from the broken Bond. It’ll be hard making the physical stuff stick without Sulu’s testimony saying it wasn’t consensual.”

“We can still file our own reports, get it put on record. Or at least in the process. If there’s someone on the council or even just an Admiral, that are working against Omega’s, it’s gonna take time to get it processed and charged against the captain and crew of the Indiana. Even with Pike’s help.”

McCoy started to reply, but stopped feeling the ship shudder briefly. He gave Kirk a look. “What the hell was that?”

Kirk shrugged. Spock hadn't immediately called him over the comm, so it couldn't be anyone attacking or anything too threatening. He reached over to turn the computer his way, intending on contacting the bridge in any case. Before he could, they were plunged into darkness, and McCoy had to struggle not to panic as even the gravity cut out momentarily. It was only a few seconds, and then the emergency power came online, lights dimmer, but on. Kirk frowned, tapping the computer, trying to connect to the bridge, but it wasn’t responding at all. Shaking his head, he glanced over at McCoy with a tired smirk.

“Never a dull moment, eh Bones?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is so much discussion here, and I really hope you all don't get bored.   
> I love all comments, give me all the comments.  
> Hope you guys are still enjoying the story so far!


	34. First Shift

Hikaru woke far more peacefully the second time around, still curled against Chekov, the navigator wrapped around him like a red headed octopus. He didn’t mind, it was warm and comfortable, safe even. Far too soon, the little alarm went off, causing Chekov to grumble and blink open his eyes.

Sulu smiled at him, pretending all the world like last night had never happened. “Time to get up Pav, bright new day, brand new pilot. You ready to experience the smooth flying skills that is the great and wonderful Hikaru Sulu?”

Sulu wasn’t nervous about starting his first shift. He was glad, relieved that he was of more use than just a patch for the Alpha’s temper, just itching to get at the helm of the ship, especially after the tour he’d taken with Chekov. Having a job to do was a great distraction, would keep him from worrying himself sick over things he couldn’t control. And maybe now he’d be tired enough that he’d stop dreaming. Fat chance of that though, because even back on the Indiana when he’d been exhausted all the time, he’d still had nightmares. His whole life there had been a nightmare.

Chekov chuckled back at him tiredly, peeling himself away and standing up, trying and failing to hide how tired he was. “I’m up, I’m up. Ready and vaiting to be amazed.” He felt bad at the concern on Sulu’s face, and the guilt. He shouldn’t be making his friend feel guilty. He tried to be his normal cheerful self, but it was very difficult. He was tired and stressed, unable to forget what he’d heard, what he’d _seen_ , last night. He couldn’t complain, wouldn’t complain. Hikaru didn’t deserve to feel guilty and Chekov would do the best he could to make sure the pilot didn’t.

“Vell, come on, get up zhen sleepy head.” He commented, putting on a grin. “Get ready or you vill not hawe time for breakfast. Zhat important meal of zhe day!”

Sulu smiled back, but it was still too full of guilt. “Sure thing, Pav. You better get going too. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria?”

Chekov nodded, trying to make the motion eager and excited. “Yes, I vill see you zhere.”

Pavel headed to his own quarters, unable to keep the smile and cheer on his face once he’d left Sulu’s room. Of course, he’d suspected, known really, what had been happening to Sulu. That Jameson had hurt him. He’d never seen it though, not like this, not so ugly and out there. Sulu had been so _so_ frightened. Had been afraid of _him_. He hated that feeling.

What turned his stomach, made his appetite vanish and his hands shake, was how Sulu had reacted to McCoy. He was glad he’d sat down when McCoy told him he couldn’t go to Sulu, he might have fallen to the floor watching what had happened. He couldn’t fathom how _anyone_ could do what Jameson had done. Sulu had looked so scared, so resigned, when he’d crawled over to McCoy, and it had been obvious even to Chekov what the pilot had thought he had to do.

By the time Chekov made it to breakfast, he had completely lost his appetite. He still joined Sulu in the line, getting a tray of food, though he only at a few bites of it and pushed the rest around on his plate the whole time. It was quiet between them and Chekov knew he was probably making it awkward, was worrying his friend. He resolved to do better when they started their shift, determined to make Sulu’s first day back a good one.

~~

Chekov couldn’t stop the numerous glances he sent Sulu’s way once they’d settled in their station. The pilot was acting like nothing was wrong, like nothing had even happened last night. He might have been impressed at Sulu’s strength, hopeful that maybe his friend was alright, but he couldn’t help but wonder. How many times had Sulu done this on board the Indiana? He was acting so casual right now, maybe not throwing as many jokes Chekov’s way as usual (but Pavel knew it was because _he_ was acting out of sorts now), but Hikaru was acting normal. It was eerily familiar, identical even, to how he had been on the Indiana.

It was a distressing thought. How many times had he sat beside Sulu, his friend putting on his best cheerful expression, and no known? Sulu had been so _terrified_ , had begged and pleaded for it to stop. Hikaru had been with Jameson for two years, had gone through that long enough to have all but perfected this mask he wore. Chekov felt ashamed, he’d never realized it _was_ a mask. He was supposed to be Sulu’s best friend, but he’d never realized just what extent Sulu was hurting. He should have tried harder, done something…

The ship gave a shudder, not enough to make anyone fall, though a couple of the less coordinated did stumble a bit. Chekov blinked in surprise, turning his attention back to his station, searching for the cause.

“Mister Sulu?” Spock questioned, looking to the helmsman.

Chekov glanced over at Sulu again at Spock’s words, biting his tongue. He hoped Sulu didn’t get upset at the tone, the Vulcan always spoke like that and it wasn’t criticism of Sulu’s work, just a question of what had happened. He was relieved that Sulu didn’t seem to be bothered at all, the pilot just furrowing his brow as he read over the data and reported back to the Commander.

“Some kind of fluxuation in the deflector. We’ve lost .025%...” Sulu paused, frowning as the data updated. “3% power now, continuing to drop.” He reported, turning his attention to the controls to compensate.

Chekov turned his own gaze back to his station. He needed to concentrate, not be worrying over Sulu. The pilot didn’t seem to be affected at all by what had happened this morning, was focused on his job, like Pavel knew he should be doing.

There was a sound like an echoing thud, the entire bridge crew glancing up at the ceiling in concern, then over to Spock for direction.

“Bring us out of warp, to impulse power Mister Sulu.” Spock decided, not wanting to risk taking damage due to the loss of power.

“Yes, sir.” Sulu responded, turning back to the helm and carefully lowering the ships speed. “Going to impulse only.”

Chekov’s attention was taken by the readout on his screen, not knowing what the sensors were indicating, but that there was _something_ in their immediate path. He knew it was too close to try and avoid at this point, had no idea why they hadn’t detected it before, but he called out a warning anyway. “Commander, zhere is an anomaly on zhe sensors, dead ahead.”

“All stop, Mister Sulu.” Spock ordered, stand up as the thing came into view on the screen. It was almost impossible to see, looking almost like heat distorting the air. Except it was in space, where there was no air to distort. There was a hint of metal, almost invisible in the middle of the distortion.

Sulu didn’t have a chance to respond, or follow the order, as the bridge went dark, power cutting completely. He would have sworn he felt a moment of weightlessness, then the emergency power cut on.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say we hit whatever that was.” Sulu commented dryly, tapping his console in an attempt to get it to work. “Helm’s not responding.”

“Aye.” Chekov stated, both in agreement and in complaint. He wished he could feel relieved at the quip Sulu had tossed out, but he'd done much the same on the Indiana. Just another example of how he'd failed his friend. He shook his head, he needed to focus. “My station is also not vorking.”

“Comms are down, sir.” Uhura spoke up as well, turning in her chair.

“Have we taken any damage?” Spock asked, brow furrowed in thought as he stood.

“There haven’t been any reports come in, and the ship systems don’t seem to be working.” Sulu reported, grimacing at the panel. He tensed slightly as Spock came over, but just nodded toward the image now flashing across it. "This just appeared a moment ago, and nothing I do gets rid of it." It was a lot of color with an indecipherable text, along with what looked like it could _possibly_ be a digital cat dancing. At least, that’s what it looked like to Sulu.

Spock looked over toward the lift at the short hiss, then loud screech it emitted. A second later and Kirk was forcing the doors open, slipping through them and walking onto the bridge. He gave the doors a dirty look as they closed swiftly behind him, then turned to look at Spock with a short grin.

“Spock. What’s going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter is a little bit of 'oh look something shiney chase after it' in the grand scheme of plots. (That sentence barely makes sense to me, just roll with it, okay?)  
> But, hey, it'll do Sulu some good to see how everyone works together.


	35. A Not Unwelcome Distraction

Sulu was almost shocked at the immediate feeling of calm that came over the bridge at Kirk’s arrival. The bridge crew had been tense following the blackout, and the weird message… thing… flashing across all the screens only made the tension grow, but Kirk’s appearance had seemed to settle most of the crew. It was fascinating to Sulu. He’d experienced many tense moments on the Indiana, the atmosphere on that bridge just as tense as this here was, but the captain had never been able to calm them just by showing up. The tension had usually carried over, sometimes even after the danger had passed, until it turned to relief at having survived.

He continued trying to get his console to respond, half listening as Spock caught the captain up on what had happened. Sulu glanced over at Chekov, the navigator studying the screen intently, eyes following the texts and images.

Kirk looked around quickly, noting it was on every screen. “Uhura, have you seen any language like this?” He grimaced as she shook her head no.

“It is likely that it is connected with the object we struck.” Spock advised.

“And we don’t know what that object was because we can’t read what the sensors are saying. Can we tell what systems this… thing is affecting?” Kirk asked, concerned about the safety of the crew. If this infected life support, or unbalanced the warp core, they could all be in trouble.

“There’s no way to tell what it’s affecting, sir.” Sulu supplied. “Not without access to the systems.”

“Alright, so how do we get rid of it?” Kirk asked, leaning over to study the screen as well.

“We could try turning it off and back on again?” The suggestion fell from his mouth without thought, and Sulu winced at how saucy it sounded. He kept his gaze on the screen, biting his cheek and forcing himself to focus. Keep it together, get the job done. If it ticked Kirk off, he’d deal with the outcome later.

“A valid suggestion as it began when the power went off initially.” Spock intoned. Sulu glanced up in time to see Kirk nod, having apparently looked to Spock for advice on his suggestion. Alright then.

“Keptain, ve vould hawe to manually shut zhe power down from engineering. None of zhe controls are vorking from here.” Chekov told him, turning his chair to face Kirk and Spock.

Kirk ran a hand down his face. He could just bet Scotty was having kittens down there right now. With comms down no one could coordinate or communicate what was going on. They didn’t even know if there was any damage to the ship, or if there had been any injuries or casualties. He straightened up, taking a breath and nodding to himself once.

“Alright. Chekov, get down to engineering. Update Scotty on what’s going on and get working on resetting the systems. Lt. Verron, go with him, when they’re ready to go report back here so we know what’s going on. Watch out for the lifts, it’s working but just barely.” He turned to Nyota as the two of them left to follow the orders. “Uhura, do what you can to get communication back up, it’ll make it easier to coordinate and we also need to know what’s going on with the rest of the ship.”

He took a moment to think as Uhura nodded and turned back to her station, watching the message flashing across the screen. It _looked_ like it was repeating, except for whatever dancing image that was moving randomly across the screens.

“This remind you of anything?” He questioned, glancing at Spock. He rolled his eyes to himself a second later, realizing that he had just looked to the wrong person. He looked at Sulu instead, indicating the message across the screen. “Had a couple friends back at the academy like practical jokes, one of them was pretty good at computers. He made this one thing that mode the font and background of his professor’s lectures change randomly.”

Sulu blinked up at Kirk for a moment, surprised he was being asked and surprised at the impromptu story. He looked back at the screen, puzzled, and it clicked a moment later. “A computer virus. Whatever we ran across might have infected our systems.”

“Exactly.” Kirk agreed.

“If that is the case, then shutting down the ships power and re-starting it will likely not be a permanent solution.” Spock warned.

“It might give us some of our systems back though.” Kirk argued. “And in the meantime, we need to get a closer look at whatever caused this, find out if it is a virus that’s in our computers or if it’s something else.”

“The shuttles might not have been affected.” Sulu offered. “Their systems are separate from the Enterprise and offline until the shuttles are powered on. It might have protected them from whatever this is.”

“Perfect.” Kirk grinned, glad to be making some progress in getting his ship back up and running. He thought for a moment who would be best for the task. Sulu was the best pilot they had, no doubt, and it would likely require that skill to retrieve the thing. But he couldn’t put Sulu in charge, not right now. Spock’s expertise would come in handy as well, but he was wary of putting the Vulcan with Sulu given the pilot’s current state. Except… Sulu looked fine right now. He frowned to himself. He couldn’t be wasting time with worries like this right now.

“Alright, Spock, you take Sulu and Harker, she’s on shift in the shuttle bay so you’ll find her there. Try and make sure you’ll be able to maintain control of the shuttle before taking off. If we don’t have comms up by the time you are ready, send one of the crew back up here with a message. Try and bring the device back to the ship, but if you can’t just get a good read on it.” Kirk decided. “We’ll keep working on the problem from here in the meantime.”

Sulu stood up to follow Spock out after the Commander had nodded an affirmative and turned toward the lift. He could admit, he was a little… uneasy, about the arrangement. But this was the job, he’d worked with Alpha’s before without any problems. Really, the only problem that ever came up was far after the mission ended, when Jameson got hold of him.

The two of them did not exchange any words on the way to the shuttle bay and once there Spock directed Sulu to the appropriate shuttle. Sulu guessed the man Spock stopped to talk to was the senior officer on duty for this section, because after a few moments the Vulcan joined him, tall, blonde, female officer following at his heel who Sulu could only assume was Harker.

“It is likely that the cause of the loss of power is similar to an electromagnetic pulse.” Spock informed them, sitting in one of the seats and bringing the shuttle online. “We will need to modify the shuttle to withstand such a thing if possible, as well as install a small tractor beam in the even the object is too large to fit within the craft.”

“Sensors went out before we got an accurate measure.” Sulu explained when Harker gave him a questioning look.

“Right.” She grinned, tone cheerful and tinted with an accent he couldn’t quite identify. She dropped down beside Sulu, peering into the circuitry with him. “Let’s get this thing outfitted then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, someone tell me if this side plot (is that even the right term?) is too random.


	36. The Other Side of a Coin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back again! So sorry for the delay, I’ve been a bit busy. Then there was a little incident that basically killed my desire to write. Silly little thing it was, but hey, it happens. Today though, we have a guest writer for this chapter! And it’s extra long too! Thank you so much my dear friend Augs for your insight into the inner workings of Chekov.

Chekov still worried about Sulu the entire trip to engineering. He did feel somewhat better with Kirk there and in charge, knew that the captain knew what was going on with Sulu and would be watchful.   
He didn’t have time for worries and distractions when he arrived in engineering. The place was chaotic with crew moving around quickly, presumably trying to keep the ships power stable.

“Chekov!”

Pavel turned at his name, catching sight of Scotty heading his way, and moved forward to meet him.

“Laddie, what the blazes is goin’ on? I canna get ahold ta anyone on the bridge and it’s all we can do to keep the ship’s power on. There’s some strange code or something keeps popping up on all the consoles.”

Chekov filled him in quickly, walking with him through engineering as they set about planning how to get the ship back in working order. Once done, he set off to start on his part of the work. It was simple work, leaving him plenty of room for thought, his mind wandering back to Hikaru.

Chekov had always known knew something wrong. It was subtle, it was slow, but there was an obvious change. The Karu he had known back in the academy wasn't the same Sulu after he had met Jameson. Pavel may have been young, but he wasn't stupid. Or blind.

It was painful, to say the least. To see the ambition and humour leave your best friend's eyes every day until there was none left. To see him flinch when you accidently touched a certain spot where a bruise hid under his clothing or when you moved you hand to quickly towards him. Chekov could tell Sulu tried hard to hide it, but after a while the Russian noticed and tried to be more careful. The worst part was not being able to say anything.

Sure, he asked. All the time: "what's wrong?" "are you okay?" "you can tell me anything, you know that right?" But with all the dodgy answers Sulu gave, Chekov quickly learned he wouldn't get anywhere.

That was when the questions ceased outwardly, but only grew inwardly. It got to the point where Sulu would come into his room looking exhausted, and Chekov had to reflect the brave face the pilot gave him. Worse were the days Sulu was waiting for him in his quarters when he got off shift, shaking and shivering, refusing to say anything, smile obviously forced. He always made some excuse later, when he was calm, but Chekov knew better.

Even while they watched a movie, or relaxed together, he couldn't shake the overwhelming worry. It broke his heart every time when the familiar hair petting, something that was usually so comforting for his friend, made Sulu cringe. There were countless nights where - after Hikaru left - Pav would lay in his bed and sob. Karu was wasting away and there was literally nothing he could do. Nothing was the same. Every time he tried to talk to the doctor about it, he was always given a curt answer or shooed away. His luck with the captain was no better. He didn't dare go to Jameson about it. Chekov knew the Lieutenant had most to do with it, even though Pavel didn't know everything that happened behind the closed doors.

So where did that leave him? He had never really clicked with any of the other crew. Believe it or not, they didn't enjoy someone ten years younger than them with such a high ranking.

The sudden notice he got one day only made matters worse. While it should've been the happiest day of his life, it felt like the worst.

Sulu had found him in his room crying. While Chekov had mentally prepared himself to find Karu like this, he never expected those roles to be reversed.

He felt guilty, heartbroken, helpless... It felt like he was abandoning his only friend. Hikaru cheered him on and told him it was the _Enterprise_. Pavel didn't tell him that the main reason he didn't want to leave was because he didn't want Sulu to crumble anymore. Maybe if he went, it would give something for Karu to hope for? That was what he told himself.

The next day came far too quickly, even though he barely slept at all the night before. The goodbye to Sulu was quick, but that was how he wanted it to be. Quick farewell, quick hug, quick promise to call as much as possible. And that was it. He was on his way. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving with everything that was going on, but what choice did he have. The persistent thought whether Sulu would be okay without him or not was ever constant in his mind. Chekov already knew he would be a wreck without Sulu, but he didn't want to think about the possibility of Hikaru being all alone. Hurt and alone.

On the Enterprise, Chekov could tell Kirk was trying his best to make him feel comfortable and part of the "family" as he called it. Pavel was ashamed at the way he was so jumpy. He didn't mean to be, couldn't help it. He wasn't used to all the niceness and touchy-feely crew members wanting to be friends.

The ship itself made up for all the social awkwardness and hesitation. It was absolutely magnificent. It was much larger than the Indiana, more beautiful too, and Chekov could see himself getting lost quite often. Kirk mentioned some sort of guide, but he quickly declined. He would find his way fine and he wasn't about to waste someone's day just because he couldn't find his way around.

While Chekov was reserved and nervous around others, when he was in his room and chatting with Sulu, he was excited and happy, as close to his usual self as he could be. He described the ship by every minute detail, showed off his room, his new uniform, and commented that they had given him a couple days off to get his bearings. He said the people were really friendly there, though none of them were as good as Sulu.

The calls always ended too short, Chekov found himself feeling cold and empty most nights, missing Hikaru's warmth and comfort. On the Indiana, Sulu would spend the night with him sometimes, and that made both of them feel safe. Here he had no one.

Pav had underestimated how much he would miss him Sulu. He so looked forward towards those calls and messages. He talked to Sulu as often as he could, and fell into the habit of video chatting early morning and night, and texting throughout the day. It wasn't lost on Chekov that Karu had gotten got paler since he’d left.

Hikaru didn't talk as much during those video calls either, and it ended up with Pavel doing most of the talking. That was alright since he always had something new to say or some crazy story to tell, but he grew worried that Sulu never really talked about himself and what was going on there. That left many questions rolling around Chekov's mind. It continued like this for a couple months, until Sulu started to distance himself.

Chekov didn't think much of it, at first, buying the lies that he had been busy or that he had a lot to do for work. They still texted often, but the video chats grew fewer in number and it scared Chekov. He tried to remain calm about the whole thing, and he managed to stuff the concern down when talking to him. He told Sulu about his day like he was actually there, but found himself leaving things out. He chose to only retell the good things that happened, leaving out the bad because he didn't want Karu to worry.

He never told anyone that the reason he was late for his first shift was because he was having a panic attack in the bathroom. He never told anyone that McCoy sometimes got mad because he forgot to eat more often than not. Never told anyone about his mistakes no matter how small. There was no one to tell. No one except Sulu, and Chekov didn't want to bring him down. The people on the ship would probably listen, but he really didn't want all the sympathy they would give, didn't want to bother them. Wasn’t sure he deserved them with the way he’d left Sulu.

It took him a long time to finally warm up to the crew. They accepted him for his knowledge, not his age, a fact Chekov found difficult to really believe at first. For once in his life he felt wholly accepted for his personality. He began to make a couple friends, but knew no one would ever replace Sulu. At first, he was scared that someone might and he was careful when interacting, not wanting to get too close to anyone. When he realized that no one _wanted_ to replace his true best friend was when he truly began to relax fully. He started to hang out with them more, but instantly felt guilty because that left less time to message Sulu.

Initially, he figured that was the reason that Sulu had stopped messaging back, but as time went on he began to worry that he was continuously being hurt, enough not to be able to write. To try and take his mind off it, he started to help out in engineering. He talked about Karu every chance he got, but only the good memories. The memories of their academy days and early career. He never went further. He _couldn't_ go further. He hated imagining what went on in the Indiana, but try as he might, there were still some nights that he simply couldn't turn his mind off.

In only a couple months’ time, there was barely any contact from Sulu at all. Chekov still sent messages and videos when something good or fun happened, hoping his cheerfulness could spill over to Sulu, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep up the happy mask. He started to tell himself that he would never see Hikaru again. While it pained him, and he didn't want to believe it, there was nothing else to do about it. It was almost easier to convince himself he’d never see Hikaru again than to live with the pain of hoping he’d see him, talk to him. The disappointment every time he checked for a message only to find none. He had tried to get him transferred to the Enterprise multiple times, but it was always denied or put on the shelf and forgotten.

There eventually came a time where Chekov told himself he had to stop. Sending the messages and never getting a reply had taken a toll on him. He knew should've done it a while ago, but he never had the heart to. Who knows, maybe Sulu wasn't even getting the messages at all. Heavy hearted, Pavel started preparing a last video to make, but he wanted to end on a good note. Something that Sulu could remember him by and look back at with a smile.

That time finally came when he was upgraded to ensign and was officially allowed to work on the bridge. He was excited and his friends took him out to celebrate, but he couldn't shake the sadness of what he knew he'd have to do later. Later that night, he sat down, touched the record button for the last time, and proceeded to tell Sulu the good news with what he hoped was a convincing smile. There was so much more he wanted to say, so much he wanted to ask, but he couldn't bring himself to do so, so he ended it.

A couple weeks later he was overjoyed when a message from the one and only appeared out of the blue. Chekov had sat on his bed for the longest time, unbelieving that it was really Sulu. When he read it, he couldn't stop shaking. It really was him and he was alive. He looked... different, but at least he was still alive and could write. Chekov could almost forget the paleness, the uncertainty on Sulu’s face. It was _him_ , and he was alive and writing back.

He rode on that happy cloud all that day. The fears that would creep up after were inevitable, but Chekov kept them at bay for as long as possible, only allowing himself to break down deep in the night when he knew everyone was asleep.

Weeks later, when he found out Sulu was actually coming to the Enterprise, there was a waterfall of emotions. On one hand he wanted to scream, jump, and tell everyone that his best friend was coming, but on the other hand he was scared that they wouldn't get along anymore. It had been over two years since he had left. Did Sulu even want to see him?

His anxiousness only grew as the day drew closer. The morning of, he immediately went to go wait for Sulu. He didn't get far when he got an urgent page from engineering, saying they needed any, and all, hands that were able. Since he had been shadowing Scotty, he was valuable and couldn't be spared. His spirits dropped, disappointed that he wouldn't be able to greet Sulu as soon as he got there.

The fix took longer than anyone expected, and by the time Chekov was finished, he knew Sulu had to be aboard. Even though he hadn't seen him yet, there was a lightness in Pavel's step just knowing Hikaru was there and safe.

Sickbay was the first place he checked. Everyone who came aboard had to be evaluated, and he was hoping that maybe Sulu would still be there. That wasn't the case. Though he hadn't meant to, he ended up pouring his heart out to McCoy. It had felt good to get everything out. He had kept everything bottled for so long. He felt better afterwards. McCoy seemed to want to know, and maybe now Sulu could finally get the help he needed.

Before he knew it, it was time to go on his shift. He was upset about this, wanting to see Sulu now more than ever. He was able to switch and hurried along to Kirk's quarters, having found out that Sulu was supposed to be meeting the Captain there. Along the way, he started to concoct a detailed speech of why he wanted to see Hikaru. As soon as he got there, however, the words completely rushed away and he hesitated outside the door. Whatever was inside was the person he left behind. How much had he changed? Would they still be friends? Chekov had no idea, but he knew that if he didn't do it now, he would never be able to. He vowed that whoever was on the other side, he would help take care of them. He would stand by Sulu's side no matter what. He would do what's best. Whatever that was, he wanted Hikaru to be happy and healthy again and if that meant he got to stay and be a comfort to him, good. If it meant that Pavel had to be taken out of the equation, so be it.

Thankfully, removing himself from the equation hadn’t been necessary. Chekov wasn’t sure how he would have coped if Sulu had pushed him away, but he was glad he hadn't had to find out. Going in, seeing Sulu... Hikaru had looked better than he'd pictured, better than he remembered him ever looking on the Indiana, almost like he’d looked back at the academy. That picture had crumbled before it was even complete however, with the way Sulu had reacted to McCoy’s simple movement that night.

Chekov shook his head, focusing on the work in front of him. He was letting himself get too wrapped up in the past, in what had happened. Sulu had been hurt, was still frightened and unsure, but Chekov knew that the people on this ship were good. Kirk was a good captain, a good man, and his crew were a reflection of that. Sulu would find that out just like Chekov had, and Pavel intended to do everything he could to help his friend see that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pass along all comments and Kudos to the author of this chapter. Also, they make me all happy and giddy, so comment away!


	37. No Time to Spare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with another chapter from yours truly! Getting back into the swing of writing is weird, so I'm a little self-conscious about this chapter. However, here it is, for your enjoyment!

Kirk kept an outward appearance of calm, but he was worried. It had been a good few hours, and Scotty had sent an ensign up to the bridge to inform them they were nearly ready to attempt the reset. He hoped this would solve their problems, or at least get the computer back online long enough to run a diagnostic, or at least allow the comms to work.

The clock was quickly approaching the time that Scotty had sent with the ensign, and Kirk moved to take a seat in the chair, glancing around at the others on the bridge. “Everyone to your stations, as soon as the power comes back online I was a full range of diagnostics. Try and find the source of the virus, if it’s still there, and if so, a way to get rid of it or at least contain it.” He wished that Spock were here to work on the computer issue, the Vulcan was a master at it after all, but he needed his first officer’s attention on the device that had caused all this. By now, the team was likely nearing their target.

“Uhura, get in contact with the away team as soon as comms come back online.” He stated, not giving way to any doubt as to whether comms even _would_ be functional after this attempted reset.

He watched the time, counting down the seconds in his head. Right on time, the ship when black, the lights all dropping out at once, and this time there was a definite longer period of weightlessness. It might have just been Kirk’s imagination, but it seemed like the power returned almost reluctantly, each panel flickering to life one by one. Jim stood up once the bridge power was restored, making his way over to Uhura, hoping she would be able to make contact with the away team quickly.

Comms were up long enough for him to check in with Spock, receiving confirmation that they were about to collect the device, and for him to check in with other key areas of the ship. Engineering was still pretty chaotic, and sickbay was little better off. There were a lot of minor injuries reported, but no fatalities.

The computers were working long enough for them to determine that there were no hull breaches, the life support was unaffected, and whatever was infecting their systems didn’t seem intent on causing any permanent harm. It was just very annoying and inconvenient.

Kirk’s next few hours felt like running in circles. They tried to isolate the problem, keep it from infecting the rest of the systems, but in always seemed to be one step ahead of them. They could slow the spread, but couldn’t stop it, and inevitably, they had to shut down everything again. It was frustrating and tedious.

Jim had never been more glad to see Spock arrive on the bridge after the third time resetting. His brow furrowed some when he noticed Sulu was not with him. “Sulu?” He spoke the pilots name as question.

“He and Ensign Harker were able to stabilize the device for transport. As having a pilot when the ship is immobilized is illogical, I assigned him to assist in moving the device to engineering for study.” Spock informed him. Kirk nodded, quickly moving on to catch the science officer up to speed on what had been happening, and the plan moving forward.

Kirk left Spock in charge of the bridge once he’d gotten the full report, heading to his own quarters, then to sickbay for a moment to gather the information on Sulu’s situation. He needed to report to Starfleet about this little predicament the Enterprise had found herself in. If they couldn’t get the systems fixed they might need assistance, and he didn’t want to risk the comms going down again. The last thing Kirk wanted was for them to be stuck out here on a crippled ship with no way to call for help.

Since he needed to report to the Federation, he figured he may as well kill two birds with one stone. He could fill them in on the ships status and get the ball rolling on filing a complaint against the captain and CMO of the Indiana.

Kirk didn’t linger too long in sickbay, speaking briefly to McCoy. For all that there hadn’t been any serious injuries due to the device they’d run into, there were more than a few minor injuries to keep the medical team busy. Still, McCoy took a moment to talk to Kirk, filling him in on what little he’d found out in the short amount of time he’d had.

Armed with all the information on the Indiana that his people had managed to dig up, Kirk headed out of sickbay and down the corridor. He frowned at the way the lights flickered slightly, worried that they were going to lose power and ship systems again. He really hoped the lift didn’t try and trap him inside again on his way to the bridge.

When the doors to the lift opened, Kirk was surprised to find Sulu inside. Speak of the devil.

Sulu tensed, shifting back minutely in the lift as Kirk entered. He didn’t think Kirk would do anything here in public and another little part of him clung the man’s promise that he wouldn’t do anything at all. Yet Sulu knew full well just how possessive Alpha’s could be, and he had just a lot of time working along side Spock. He knew how Jameson would have reacted to that and, considering he hadn’t cared how many people were watching while they were captured, Hikaru was positive Jameson would have had him pressed up against the wall already.

Kirk simply nodded at him, giving him a smile and keeping a polite distance between them. Still, it didn’t take a mind reader for Sulu to know the Alpha was stressed, the tension evident in his shoulders. Sulu wondered if he should apologize, if that might make it better later tonight when he inevitably had to see Kirk. He had no idea if it would even help at all. He never had this kind of opportunity with Jameson, he’d never really seen or spoken to the Alpha outside of the man’s quarters.

Considering how completely backward and opposite all the Alpha’s on this ship seemed to be in comparison however, Sulu couldn’t even be sure his apology would be well received. He figured it would be just his luck to finally break the impossible patience he’d gotten so far by issuing an unwanted apology.

“Good job getting that think back to the ship. Scotty’s looking at it now and hopefully we’ll find something for a permanent fix to the computer issues.” Kirk broke the silence, drawing Sulu’s attention away from his thoughts.

Hikaru looked over at Kirk in vague surprise. The praise was unexpected and he wasn’t entirely sure how to take it. His previous captain had never been liberal with it, and considering he’d just done his job, what Kirk had ordered him to do, Hikaru wasn’t sure it was deserved praise. Still, it wasn’t his place to argue and he wasn’t about to do so. Sulu just nodded slightly, dropping his gaze. “Thank you, sir.”

Kirk nodded as well, the smiled crookedly, chuckling slightly. “Looks like you’ll have some extra free time again. Not much for a pilot to do when the ship can’t fly.” Just when Sulu’d gotten back on duty, barely been on the bridge for an hour and he was already getting extra down time. Kirk wasn’t sure whether to call it luck or misfortune.

“I was hoping that I might continue to assist Scotty with the device in engineering?” Sulu asked, hopeful and tentative. He was still on duty, even if he wasn’t needed on the bridge, and he really didn’t want to spend any more time doing nothing in his quarters. Besides, the thing was interesting.

“Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem. Spock told me how you and Harker were able to stabilize the device for transport. Scotty will be glad of the extra help.” Kirk agreed easily. He tossed another grin at Sulu, heading out of the lift as the doors opened. Jim paused, turning back for a moment. “If you want, you can go head and head that way, if Scotty asks you can let him know I sent you.”

Jim lifted a hand in short wave as the lift closed on a slightly puzzled Sulu, turning and heading down the corridor. He was pleased that Sulu was taking some initiative. Working with Scotty would be good for him, or at least it had been good for Chekov. Hikaru would likely be working with Pavel down in engineering on this strange device as well which, now that he thought about it, might have been Sulu’s goal all along. He'd make sure Pavel got that assignment, Scotty would likely request having Chekov assist anyway.

Kirk pushed those thoughts from his mind as he reached the Captain’s room, heading over to his desk and sitting down. He had a meeting for now, one he was both looking forward to and dreading. They’d managed to get communications back, though no one knew how long they would be operational, so he couldn’t put it off. He typed in his access codes, leaning back as he waited for the call to connect.


	38. Tone at the Top

Kirk grinned at the sight of Pike, his old mentor leaning slightly sideways in his chair just like he always did. “Admiral, good to see you’re still kicking. They haven’t put you out to pasture yet.”

“Ha ha, Jim, good one.” Pike intoned, mouth turned down in a frown though his eyes were laughing. He smiled a moment later, shaking his head. “How’s the Enterprise doing?”

Kirk chuckled, shrugging. “She’s doing great, though we are having a bit of trouble. We ran into something that took down the warp drive, computer systems, communications. Basically blacked out the whole ship. We’ve got communications, but not sure how long they’ll be operational. We got the device on board and have a team looking out it. Scotty will have her up and running again in a few days, I’m sure.”

“You need any assistance?” Pike asked, brown furrowing as he glanced to the side at another screen. “Looks like the closest ship we go to your coordinates is a good week out though.”

“No.” Kirk shook his head. “We’ve got a good handle on the cause, it’s just tedious work getting rid of it. Whatever it was isn’t exactly harmful. Actually, I’d compared it more to a prank than anything else.” Jim scoffed, shaking his head. It was hard to imagine some alien race leaving this thing just floating out in space, a little land mine waiting to be stepped on.

“Alright. But if you don’t check back in after three days I’m going to send someone out after my ship.” Pike joked, smiling softly. He paused for a moment, smile fading as he took in the tightness around Kirk’s eyes. He knew Jim well enough to know something was up and this wasn’t just a social call. “What’s going on, kid. I know you didn’t call me up just to chat, so what can I do for you?”

Kirk went quiet for a moment, frowning down at the desk in front of him. Pike sat up straighter upon seeing Jim’s expression, knowing that this was about something serious. “You heard the news about the pilot that got transferred here?” Kirk asked seriously.

Pike frowned, curious as to where this was going. “Yeah, I saw that. Taken captive on a mission gone bad, his Bonded Alpha killed in front of him. I saw his request to join the Enterprise crew a week or so ago. Lt. Hikaru Sulu. He’s a skilled pilot, I don’t think there’s a single flight certification he doesn’t have. What’s the problem?”

Kirk leaned forward, placing his elbow on the desk as he folded his hands together. “We’ve got some evidence that his Alpha had been abusing him, and that the Captain and CMO of the Indiana were aware of the circumstances and did nothing.”

There was a long moment of silence following that statement, Pike’s face impossible to read. Kirk just waited. He knew it was a hefty accusation, but he also knew that Pike would take him seriously and would help in making sure this didn’t just get buried.

“Just how much evidence is ‘some’?”

“Bones’ll have a record of Sulu’s physical and phycological state beginning when he first arrived. He’s told me that would probably be easy to dismiss though, considering the broken Bond. But Ensign Chekov served aboard the Indiana with Mister Sulu I’ve heard from him personally. It’s not an official statement yet. I’m positive he’d be more than willing to give a testimony about it however, soon as the opportunity arose.”

“What about Sulu himself, has he registered any complaints?”

Kirk sighed, shaking his head. That was their main problem, Sulu hadn’t made any complaints. Not now and not when he was aboard the Indiana. “Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to try and talk with him about what happened on the Indiana. There was a concern about his health.” Not to mention that Sulu hadn’t been overly forthcoming about anything, much less what he’d gone through.

“Bones is looking into the CMO, some guy named Huely, he was Sulu’s primary physician. Apparently, Sulu’s medical file is missing details and has some inaccuracies. Might be completely fabricated. His service record is the same way. McCoy hasn’t had much luck in getting anywhere as of yet. He’s gonna do his own examination, fill in the report properly, but he wants Huely’s for comparison. Think you could pull some strings?”

“I think I can put some pressure on him. McCoy’ll get something from him by the end of the week.” Pike promised, turning slightly and making a note for himself before facing the screen once more. “What about the captain?”

Kirk leaned back at that, already feeling some of the pressure lifting just with the promise of help from Admiral Pike. “McCoy hasn’t had any luck turning up information on him. Spock got the file of his service history and a little history on the man’s crew, not much else, but Spock has only been at it for one day. The captain is Trenton Abbey, has a solid history. I haven’t had the chance to do my own investigating. Bones had me concentrating just on Sulu until he was satisfied the guy wouldn’t just drop one day.” Kirk gave a half smile at that because, damn. He’d had, was having, a hell of a time with Sulu, was glad McCoy’d urged him to focus his efforts.

“How are you taking it?” Pike asked, gentle concern in his voice.

Kirk barked out a laugh at that, dropping his head to his hands. “Me?!” He drew in a breath, fighting back tears and looking up at Pike. “I’m not the one who got put through hell and then dropped here with a head full of fucked up expectations.”

“Jim.” Pike stopped him from continuing, giving him a firm look. “Jim, you got a hell of a weight on your shoulders. I can’t image what the Lt. is going through, and I know he’s not okay yet. But I’m asking about you right now.”

Kirk sighed, a long drawn out exhausted sound. “I’m… dealing. I guess. Fuck, I don’t know. It’s like every time we have any interaction I do something to freak him out. That first night was bad, and I thought that would be the worst, but _it wasn’t_. Damn it…”

“Have you sat down and just talked to him?” Pike asked after a moment of silence.

“Yeah.” Kirk scoffed. “When I got my head on straight enough to realize that would be the best thing to start towards helping him.”

“And?”

“And it helped a little, yeah. I don’t think he really believed me, not sure if he does yet or not, but at least… it helped.” Kirk continued, letting out a long sigh.

Pike nodded, eyes understanding as he watched Kirk. “I’ll do what I can from here, we’ll know everything and more about how Captain Abbey ran his ship and crew. Keep me up to date, and the minute Lt. Sulu is ready and willing to come forward we’ll have everything ready to go. I’ll get complaint forms started and send them over to you and McCoy to fill out. When you’re done, send em back to me. I’ll make sure they get where they need to go.”

“Thanks.” Kirk smiled, the expression tired, but he glad to have the help of his mentor.

“Take it easy, Jim.”

Pike clicked the screen off and leaned back in his chair, propping his chin on one fist. That there was a whole ship of Starfleet officers out there that would let something like that happen without protest was intolerable. This was Starfleet. There were supposed to be examples, leaders for the allied planets. The Federation had cut its teeth on fighting for Omega rights, to have that spirit so blatantly, violently disregarded… Pike wasn’t going to stand for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first ever time writing Pike's character. Let's hope it does him justice.


	39. Cause and Effect

McCoy leaned back, stretching his arms for a moment. There was no shortage of injuries following the little debacle of whatever it was they had found and had stored in engineering, though thankfully none of them had been severe. Still, it left him with a mountain of work, which as just as well because three days later and communications were still spotty and he needed something to distract him from the fact that he couldn’t look further into Sulu’s situation.

His eyes were almost blurry from having stared at the screen for so long, and he could feel a headache creeping up. He’d come to a good stopping point, and the thought of getting some coffee was far to appealing to deny. He’d hardly gotten out of his chair when the sickbay doors slid open and McCoy groaned in annoyance at the raised voices making their way into the medical area.

McCoy made his way over to find the source of the commotion, eyebrows raising at the sight of Hikaru Sulu arguing hotly with one of the engineering crew. His brow furrowed as the scent of burnt fabric and flesh reached him, his eyes landing on the injuries both crewmen sported.

Sulu held his right arm close to himself, but the familiar signs of electrical burns were easy to see. The other officer, Leen was his name McCoy remembered, had burns along his arm, chest and face. Neither one of them seemed phased by them in the least going by the way they continued arguing even as the nurse led them towards a biobed.

“I’ve been working on this thing for the past two days with Scotty and Chekov without any problems, and the day _you_ show up the thing nearly goes up in flames, and you’re trying to say it’s _my_ fault?!” Sulu snapped, glaring at Leen as he followed a step behind the engineer.

“You’ve haven’t even been assigned here for what, a week? And you think you know better than I do? I’ve been working here for nearly seventeen months now! I think my work takes a little priority over your’s rookie!” Leen insisted, glaring right back at Sulu as the nurse pressed him to sit on the bed.

“You hadn’t even graduated the damn academy seventeen months ago!” Sulu spat, stopping and ignoring the other nurse who was trying to lead him to a different bed.

“What the hell would you even know!? You’re just a pilot, the fuck were you even assigned to help with this anyway. What do you know about engineering?!”

“More than you apparently considering you nearly got us both killed!”

McCoy reached the two of them just in time because, at that quip, Leen jerked forward towards Sulu aggressively. Bones planted himself between them, mindful of both injuries. He was somewhat surprised to note Sulu didn’t back down, standing his ground and even pushing back slightly when Leen’s weight cause McCoy to bump into the pilot.

“That’s enough! The both of you.” McCoy scowled, pressing Leen back onto the bed the nurse had placed him on. He turned his attention to Sulu, but the man was already backing down, still scowling at Leen however. He waved over at Nurse Chapel, directing her to Sulu. “Looks like his only got superficial burns, I’ll leave him to you.” He told her, before turning back to Leen.

The engineer was worse off, the burns extending along his arm, chest, and up his neck. “You sit still, shut up, and let me work.” He snapped. “The both of you can file your reports and let the Captain decide who’s fault it is. This is a sickbay, not a bar to fight in.” It wasn’t his job and he didn’t have time to try and figure out who was to blame or whatever the hell it was they were arguing about.

McCoy scowled at Leen when the Ensign tried to complain, muttering his own comments about fool hardy Starfleet officers. His touch was still gentle as he worked on Leen’s injuries, however rough his tone and attitude might have been. He was only halfway done when he noticed Sulu leaving. He took that as a sign that his injuries hadn’t been severe at least, trusted Chapels judgment that Sulu was clear to leave.

It took him longer to finish with Leen, releasing him on the orders that he wasn’t to go back on duty for the rest of the day. He sighed, rubbing his neck. All thoughts of taking a break for coffee had long been forgotten, and he headed back to his office and desk to get the last of the reports filed.

~~

McCoy looked up at a sharp knock, finding Kirk leaning half into the room with a small smirk on his face. “Still working? Don’t you ever sleep, Bones?” He asked, sauntering in and taking a seat.

McCoy scowled at him. “Who the hell could sleep with all the power flipping on and off like a damn strobe light.”

Kirk chuckled. “You got a point there.” He joked, though they’d found a better solution to shutting all of the systems down by this point. “Apparently today was an interesting one down in engineering. Scotty gave me an earful for sending him a green engineer when he’d wanted Chekov to keep working down there.” Kirk shook his head, grinning ruefully. “Apparently Leen ran a program he wasn’t supposed to, clashed with a diagnostic Scotty’d cleared Sulu to run, nearly blew the device up.”

“Yeah, I heard.” McCoy grouched, abandoning his reports and leaning back in his chair. “The two of em came in here, covered in electrical burns. Both of them were luck it wasn’t too severe. Not that either of them seemed to notice anyway, as wrapped up in arguing with each other as they were. I’m surprised you didn’t hear em shouting all the way up on the bridge.”

Kirk lifted an eyebrow. “What? Sulu shouting? You’re kidding.”

McCoy nodded. “Had to step between the two of em, the way they were going at it.”

“I’ll keep an eye on them, make sure there aren’t any further problems.” Kirk promised. He tilted his head, considering. “Maybe it’s kind of a good sign though, Sulu feeling at ease enough to get into an argument, and actually argue back.” Kirk hadn’t notice any chance the past two days in Sulu, the Omega was just as reserved and nervous as always with him. Kirk was simply happy he hadn’t had any more break downs so far.

“Maybe.” McCoy replied. “But we don’t really know much about how his day to day interactions went with the Indiana crew. I’m more worried about any backlash from this sudden burst of assertion.”

“Backlash?”

McCoy lifted an eyebrow, leaning forward. “You think Jameson’d let him go around arguing with other crew members?”

Kirk grimaced in understanding. Yeah, he could see that. He had read over the reports, knew that the incident with the device hadn’t been a cakewalk. It had come very close to self-destructing. He could see how the stress of that, as well as the frustration of Leen trying to shift the blame, might have overridden the hesitance and submission that Sulu had displayed thus far.

“Even if he does get all worked up and show up here again,” McCoy continued, “maybe it’ll convince him he doesn’t have to worry about anything like that here. Just keep an eye out in case he goes to you.”

“Hopefully, and I will. Anyway, I also wanted to let you know I spoke with Pike the other day, and he’s already working on getting the ball rolling. And as soon as communications are stabilized, we’ll be getting the forms to start the complaints against the Captain and CMO of the Indiana and you should get that medical report on Sulu from Huely.” Kirk informed him, shifting to sit up straight, moving on to the real reason he’d come here.

“I can’t wait to see what the so called ‘doctor’ has to show for himself.” McCoy griped.

“Scotty’s fairly certain we’ll have all systems working within the next two days, so if you wanted to get your own physical exam and report filed on Sulu before you receive Huely’s, there’s your time frame.”

Bones nodded in thanks, already thinking to his schedule and when he could see if Sulu would be able to come by sickbay for the evaluation. Ideally, the past couple days would have been a great opportunity to conduct the physical. Sulu hadn’t been needed on the bridge and, after that first day, there hadn’t been many patients come through sickbay. Unfortunately, the problems with the computers made it impossible, as well as the fact that Sulu was far more helpful down in engineering working on the device.

“Thanks Jim. Pass along my regards and thanks to the Admiral as well, next time you talk to him.”

Kirk grinned, standing up. “Sure thing Bones. Try not to work too late. And if Sulu shows back up here and you need me, just call.”

“Yeah, yeah.” McCoy huffed, waving a hand at Jim. “Get outta here, go sleep or something.”

Kirk laughed, turning and heading out, leaving McCoy to his reports.


	40. Reprecussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going a bit back in time for this one, bare with me.  
> Also **warning** : There's a bit of slight descriptions or noncon in this chapter. It's brief, and not really graphic I don't think. So I didn't add any pagebreaks, but it is in there.

Hikaru tossed one last glare toward Leen before letting nurse Chapel lead him away. Happily, she led him to the far side of the sickbay, well away from Leen and any potential further arguments.

“Sorry.” Sulu offered, noticing the disapproving look on Chapel’s face. “Leen’s been getting under my skin since he came down to engineering this morning.” He knew there was no excuse for his attitude however, but an apology was the best he could give right now.

“I suppose that some people just have personalities that clash, you can’t get along with everyone.” Chapel commented, letting out a light sigh as she began treating the burn on his arm.

“Doesn’t give me a right to come in here disrupting your workday though, does it?” He stated, half smiling at the attempted joke.

Chapel shook her head at that, stepping back. “No, I suppose not. I’m all done. The burns weren’t too severe, so you’re free to go back to engineering if you want. The doctor wont’ object to me discharging you.”

Sulu nodded, hopping up and heading out with a word of thanks. He didn’t go towards engineering however. When Scotty had sent him and Leen up to sickbay he’d told them to take the rest of the day to cool off, come back to tackled the device tomorrow. For all that he had tried joking and playing it off with nurse Chapel, Sulu was still seething inside about what had happened, so he knew Scotty had a point.

Having nowhere better to go, Chekov was still on duty working on the bridge, Sulu headed for his own quarters. If nothing else, he needed a new uniform, the sleeve of his current one was blackened and scorched.

He took some time to shower and change, then sat down to write up his report over the incident per procedure. It took him a while to write the report, having to stop sometimes just to try and keep it professional. Going back over it made him frustrated all over again. He’d _told_ Leen that he was going to run a diagnostic on the device, that Scotty had given him the go ahead, and Leen had acknowledged that Sulu was going to do so. What Hikaru couldn’t figure out was why the Ensign had decided it was okay to run his _own_ program. The two running at the same time had caused a malfunction in the device, blowing out the panel Leen was working on and shooting a spray of sparks out of Sulu’s side. As if that weren’t enough, Leen had had the nerve to yell at Sulu for running his program when Leen had needed to use his.

It was a few hours later, long after he’d submitted his report, and Sulu was lounging on the bed, trying to decide if he wanted to try napping, when he realized what he’d done. He’d been so angry and irritated, focused on Leen, that he hadn’t realized… He’d just barged into the sickbay, McCoy’s territory, shouting, arguing with a fellow officer. And when McCoy’d stepped in he…fuck, had he really pushed the Alpha?

Sulu sat up, shivering as he scooted back on the bed to lean against the wall. He couldn’t believe he’d been allowed to just leave after that. Not only was McCoy a senior officer, but he was an Alpha, and Sulu had ignored him, pushed him, been so disrespectful of the man in his own territory.

He got up, standing still for a moment, trying to calm himself. It would be okay, he could fix this. He’d go find McCoy, apologize, and hopefully mitigate whatever correction would be coming his way. He took a slow deep breath, letting it out as he left his quarters to make his way back to sickbay. At least he’d been alone at this realization, hadn’t needed to try and explain the random panicked reaction to Chekov. The Russian was still on duty at the moment, but Sulu guessed that Pav would probably be off by the time McCoy’d finished with him.

Maybe he’d get lucky and this wouldn’t take too long, wouldn’t be too severe. He could meet up with Chekov and they could relax, watch a movie. If nothing else, perhaps that thought would give him the strength to get through whatever it was that awaited him. Sulu hesitated briefly before walking into sickbay, eyes scanning the near empty room, landing quickly on McCoy. He approached the Alpha slowly, stopping a good distance away when McCoy spoke to him.

“Mister Sulu. I had a feeling you’d show back up here. What can I do for you?” McCoy asked lightly, glancing over at him. One look at the pilot told him that Sulu wasn’t exactly in a good headspace right now. Hikaru had come to a stop a good distance away, and it was easy to see the increase in tension the closer he’d gotten.

“I just… thought I should apologize, for my actions and attitude earlier, for the incident down in engineering. I’m sorry for the trouble it caused you.” Sulu stated, getting the words out almost the same as he’d rehearsed over and over in his head the whole way here.

McCoy was quiet for a moment, considering how to handle this. He turned to face Sulu and shifted his weight, leaning back slightly from him to give him more space. “I’m kinda of the opinion that apologies don’t mean much when you’re only doin’ it cuz you’re afraid I’ll beat the shit outta ya if you don’t.” McCoy huffed, crossing his arms with a frown at the way Hikaru flinched back slightly. “Which I ain’t gonna do either way.” He added when Sulu’s gaze flickered up to meet his.

“So, how’s that incident going to be worked out then?”

McCoy’s frown deepened as he straightened up minutely. “I know we’re missing basically all of your files, so I don’t know if you have anything on your record, but you have to at least know the process. They teach that at the academy.”

“Of course, I know how standard Starfleet discipline works.” Sulu stated, annoyance and frustration barely evident in his tone. Why was McCoy drawing this out? Sulu just wanted to get this over with so he could stop worrying and stressing about it. He huffed out the standard process irritably, frustration erasing the fear for a moment. “The reports of the day that involve the incident are pulled, compiled, and evaluated and go on the records of those involved or responsible. Dependent on the severity of the incident, repercussions could be either reassignment, demotion, or in extreme cases the officer may be discharged from Starfleet.”

He made himself stand still, and straight as McCoy gave him an exasperated look, keeping eye contact with the Alpha. The doctor had just said he wasn’t going to hit him, and Kirk had repeated that kind of reassurance more than once. He could admit to himself that it was a relief that they didn’t consider beating him to be a good past time or way to relieve stress, but he was less certain about it not being used as discipline. In any case, he knew his sass was trying McCoy’s patience.

“So you know the procedures, good. Mind tellin me just what it is you’re askin then?” McCoy drawled, watching Sulu with an irritated, and somewhat puzzled, expression.

Hikaru’s heart beat too quickly, and it was a challenge to keep his breathing even and confident as he spoke. “Captain Abbey never filed any of the complaints against me. J-Jameson..” Sulu took a breath, frustrated at how difficult it still was to use the man’s name and not call him Alpha. He forced himself to continue, crossing his arms to try and stop from shaking. “He made it clear that any negative marks in my record reflected on him. I was assigned to him so I was his responsibility. The Captain explained that there was a different protocol when it came to Omegas.”

McCoy didn’t say anything for a moment, waiting to see if Sulu had anything else to add. He filed the information away for something he’d need to look into, as well as add to his growing pile of evidence of misconduct aboard the Indiana. “What Abbey was doing, is doing, that’s a load of horse shit.” He stated when it became evident Sulu was done.

Leonard shook his head once at the startled look he got from the pilot. “Ship discipline applies to everyone the same. It gets filed on your record if needed, and additional action is determined by either the captain or the Federation council, whichever applies. Doesn’t matter if you’re a bonded Omega or not, your Alpha shouldn’t have that kinda authority.”

McCoy tilted his head, eyebrows raising as Sulu looked away with a grimace. “That was before the bond then too?” He sighed when Sulu nodded. Damn, just how screwed up were things over there on the Indiana. “Well, either way, that’s not how it works here. Besides, ain’t nothing going on your record for this anyway, Leen was told you were working on the systems program and decided to do his own thing anyway.”

Sulu stared at McCoy for a moment in shocked surprise, question falling out before he could stop himself. “So, you’re taking my side on this?”

“Ain’t taking any sides, just going by what the reports say. Yours, Scotty’s, and more than that concerning the incident agree on what happened, and it wasn’t something you did.” McCoy scowled, a thought occurring to him. “Don’t tell me. Abbey just took the first person’s word when something went wrong and blamed you?”

Sulu shrugged lightly, wary at the tone in McCoy’s voice. “Not always, but... it did happen.”

“Well, that sure as hell ain’t how it’s supposed to work.” McCoy snapped. He sighed at the flinch this garnered from Sulu, running a hand down his face as he tried to calm himself. His voice held a softer note when he spoke again, though it was no less resolute. “We follow procedure here on this ship Mister Sulu, and it applies to everyone.”

Hikaru nodded in understanding, dropping his gaze. He could accept that as truth, as the way it did and always would work here on the Enterprise. That was how it was supposed to work. He was very happy to accept that and believe it until they proved him wrong. Besides, now that he’d gotten the professional side of this out of the way, he had a more pressing concern. He bit his lip slightly, hesitating.

“And for earlier?” Sulu questioned, continuing to elaborate when a quick glance up at McCoy showed the doctor had no idea what he was talking about. “For… for how I acted, when I came in here earlier with Leen.”

Hikaru had been too angry over the incident at the time to realize, for all that he’d lightly joked about it with Chapel. Even with her, he’d still been so worked up about Leen that he hadn’t given it a thought to how he had acted and what the consequences would be. And then when McCoy had come over he’d completely ignored him in favor of scowling at Leen, had even pushed at the Alpha when he’d crowded too close.

Sulu’s heart was racing so fast and there was a sharp sick feeling in his stomach. He tried to remember, tell himself, how McCoy had said he wouldn’t have to do that here. He wasn’t going to be forced to his knees, have to take McCoy in his mouth, wasn’t expected to have to do that. That had been Jameson’s favorite punishment though, the first thing he’d done in response to Sulu being disrespectful.

“I yelled and I…” Sulu trailed off, waving a hand briefly at McCoy. He was truly shaking now, remembering how he’d pushed the Alpha. It hadn’t been roughly or combative at all, McCoy had barely budged when it happened, but he’d still done it. There was no way the doctor was going to let that slide.

The tension in the pilot had increased, and McCoy could guess that the events of the day were taking their toll. “Easy, Sulu. You were upset, there was a lot of tension, you didn’t do any harm. I’m not gonna hurt you. Not gonna make you do anything.” McCoy assured him, trying to put as much calm into his voice as he could, keeping still to not upset Sulu further.

Sulu went absolutely still at those words, looking up at McCoy with a frightened look. “Is Kirk gonna do it?” He asked, voice broken, quiet and resigned.

McCoy wanted to curse at the way Sulu was dropping. He’d worried this would happen after the little outburst the pilot had had in the sickbay earlier, though he had still been glad Sulu’d had the confidence to stand up for himself over the incident. There was a whole hell of a lot Sulu had needed to learn in order to survive on the Indiana, and it wouldn’t be a snap to unlearn it here.

Sulu looked back up to meet McCoy’s eyes again, tone just as quiet as before. “Alpha hated it when I was disrespectful. Made me… h-he liked… he would fuck my mouth, when I was, as punishment.” Hikaru was trembling as he dropped his eyes, unable to hold the doctors gaze. His voice dropped down to a whisper when he begged, knowing he had no right to ask, but unable to stop the plea. “Please. I’m sorry, just… Please don’t make me do that.”

Sulu fought to stay on his feet as McCoy approached, fought the habit of kneeling immediately. They didn’t like that here, didn’t want him to do that. He didn’t want to anger McCoy or give him any reason to change his mind about hitting him.

It was hard for him to think straight again. I felt like there was a haze of fear and uncertainty, the stress from the day and the fight with Leen, all of it clouding his thoughts. He felt like he should get on his knees like his instincts told him to do, what he’d been taught to do over the past two years. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t stand the thought of getting in a position so easy for McCoy to take advantage, didn’t want to change the Alpha’s mind or make it seem like he was asking for it.

Hikaru jumped, wide eyes looking over at the sound of the sickbay doors opening. He watched as the blueshirted officer walked in, paying no attention to either Sulu or McCoy, far too focused on his own task. Sulu pulled back at a touch on his wrist. He froze a half second later, stomach dropping as he realized it had been McCoy trying to take hold of him.

“Sorry, sir.” He forced the words out, offering his wrist for the doctor, hand shaking.

“Easy, kid. I ain’t mad. It’s alright.” McCoy spoke reassuringly and Sulu had to hold back a whimper, relieved that McCoy wasn’t angry. The Alpha’s hand was gently wrapping around his hand, tugging lightly and Sulu followed obediently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all you nurse Chapel fans reading this, I'm sorry. I am terrible at writing her character, mostly because I literally know almost nothing about her.


	41. Making a Difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those chapters where I'm both okay with it, but not completely satisfied. But I got tired of staring at it and re-reading it, so here it is.

Hikaru followed McCoy into the doctor’s office, stopping inside the room when McCoy let go of his wrist. He had a vague thought that maybe he should be more worried, more frightened now that McCoy had him in an enclosed and private room, but his anxiety level remained the same. He knew that it didn’t matter where they were, Alpha would do what he wanted either way. If McCoy was going to make him get down, get him off, then he was glad it was here in some privacy. He had no desire to repeat the humiliation of having someone witness it.

He flinched again when McCoy placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, ducking his head slightly and waiting for the Alpha to push him down, order him. McCoy made a soft noise, guiding him over to a chair and pressing him to sit down.

“I want you to listen to me carefully.” McCoy stated, shifting to crouch beside Sulu, trying to make himself as unthreatening as possible. He looked up at Hikaru, waiting to continue until he made eye contact. “I’m not going to hit you. I’m not going to rape you. Besides being unbelievably morally wrong, that is illegal.” McCoy told him firmly.

What Sulu’d told him made some of the reactions from the Omega a little clearer. It was no wonder he had panicked when McCoy petted his hair that first day. He frowned when his words only increased the pilots tension, rather than easing it.

“It wasn’t… I deser-… It- it wasn’t r-… I was a-asking for it and… It’s my f-“

Sulu winced as McCoy’s hand touched his wrist once more, though the doctor only stroked the skin soothingly, fingers over his pulse. As nervous as he was to have the Alpha’s hand on him, the touch did help ground him, staving off the panic and helping him breath more evenly.

“It wasn’t your fault.” McCoy assured him, eyes searching Sulu’s features with worry. Where ever Sulu was in his mind right now, McCoy wanted to pull him back here, to the present and safety. “What they did was wrong, they are to blame. None of it was your fault.”

Sulu wasn’t sure how to take those words. He knew McCoy spoke the truth, but believing it meant he’d have to accept something that, quite frankly, he wasn’t sure he could handle right now. He let out a few ragged breaths, trying to concentrate, focus his scattered thoughts.

“Alpha… When he… He… got angry, that night, because I’d.. I’d talked to another Alpha… He didn’t like it, said I was… He made the Bond that night, I didn’t want it, told him to stop, but he just…” Sulu shuddered, wanting to shut up but wanting just as badly to get it out. “He didn’t… said I’d wanted it, how good I had been after he’d…”

He could hear in the back of his mind McCoy saying over and over he was safe, the doctor and Kirk had said those words so many times. He glanced up at McCoy’s face, trying to find reassurance there. The doctor wore an neutral expression, but there was a tightness to his shoulders that told Sulu he was unhappy. But the Alpha was still listening, wasn’t dismissing his words, and Sulu couldn’t help but keep going.

“I didn’t want it.” Sulu spoke, words coming easier, tumbling out quickly and he wasn’t sure he could have stopped them anymore. “I didn’t, I swear I didn’t. I tried to tell doctor Huely that I hadn’t wanted it, he said I had to have. It wouldn’t have worked otherwise. I tried to tell him that’s not how it worked… It’s… it’s not, right?”

McCoy took a second to try and compose himself, he didn’t want to upset the pilot any more than he already was, not when he’d somehow felt comfortable enough to share something of what he’d gone through. “It’s not.” He assured Sulu firmly. “Any first-year medical student could tell you that, would know it wasn’t consensual just looking at the scarring. Huely lied.”

“Huely didn’t like it when I tried to tell him that. Told me I’d wanted it, told me to go back to Alpha. When Alpha found out he…” Sulu trailed off, breath hitching. It was obvious at this point that McCoy wasn’t going to do anything to him, or make him do anything. But McCoy and Kirk were friends, just like Huely and Jameson. What if…

“Are you going to tell Kirk about this?” He asked shakily.

McCoy tilted his head in question, brown furrowed. He didn’t know what Sulu meant, where he was going with that question. He didn’t have to wait long for an explanation.

“Doctor Heuly would… tell Alpha if, when… when he saw me do something wrong, and Alpha was… I still had to write the reports, give them to Alpha, but… Captain Abbey didn’t get many of those. Most of them were just…were about, something I’d said, or done, towards another crewman. The one’s that Abbey did get, Alpha just talked to him, said he’d handle it…me.” It was easier than he’d thought it would be to say the words, for all that it still made him uncomfortable. But McCoy was crouched so harmlessly beside him, head tilted slightly in invitation, that Sulu was able to explain. He needed McCoy to know, to understand. He couldn’t help but hold on to that thin hope that maybe McCoy wouldn’t do the same thing Huely had, wouldn’t just hand him to Kirk for correction.

“Jameson sure had a lot of friends over there.”

McCoy’s comment was a gently murmur, thumb moving slow and soothing on Sulu’s wrist, but Hikaru still flinched at the subtle correction. Stupid, of course, Jameson wasn’t Alpha anymore, McCoy was. Or was it Kirk? Either way, he was going to offend one of them calling Jameson Alpha, might have already done so. “Sorry, sir. Yes, sir. J-Jameson did.”

“Easy, kid. Jim wouldn’t hurt you for any of this any more than I will. You’re safe, no one here is gonna hurt you. I can promise you he’s of the same opinion about it as I am.” McCoy remained by Sulu, waiting in the silence patiently for a while. He wasn’t going to press for any more details on Sulu’s past, certainly not while the Omega was in such a state. McCoy was surprised he’d gotten to hear so much as he had. “You can stay here as long as you need. I doubt you wanna go wandering the halls right now.”

Sulu shuddered, anxiety spiking at the thought he was inconveniencing the doctor. McCoy probably didn’t want him here, had no use for him right now, so he should go. “I-I can…. I ‘ve done it before, I’ll go. I’m sorry. I’ll go.” It did sting a little, being made to leave, and he wasn’t looking forward to walking the corridor and trying to find his way in this haze, but even back on the Indiana the Beta’s had never bothered him when he was like this, so it should be the same here. He could find his way to Pavel’s room. Sure, Chekov might be sleeping by now, but he’d never minded being woken up, and then Sulu could curl up with him and sleep. Not have to worry about being beaten for saying or doing the wrong thing, and he wouldn’t have to worry about Chekov expecting any favors from him.

“Alright, you don’t have to. If you want to though, that’s fine. I can walk with you where ever you want to go, if it’ll help?” McCoy offered.

Sulu hesitated for a moment, unsure. “I… I was going to go to Chekov’s quarters.” He explained, shrinking back slightly once the words were out. McCoy didn’t appear to be too possessive, or to even really want him here right now, but Sulu couldn’t help the natural instinct to be wary. He was choosing his young Beta friend's company over that of the Alpha and, despite McCoy’s many assurances, a part of him still expected a negative reaction.

McCoy nodded. “That’s good, probably best you aren’t alone right now.”

Sulu couldn’t argue against that. He _didn’t_ want to be alone, especially not right now. McCoy’s presence and gentle touch had helped calm him tremendously, had slightly cleared the virtual storm of thoughts and emotions. Sulu had no desire to go alone to his own quarters and let that storm whip right back up again. He didn’t want to burden McCoy, but he knew Chekov wouldn’t be even remotely bothered by his clingy behavior.

“Thank you…” His thanks trailed off, words dying in his throat when McCoy stood up beside him. He had to take a steadying breath not to flinch away. McCoy’s hand was still gentle on his wrist, and Sulu focused on the contact as he stood, keeping himself grounded in the present and telling himself that McCoy wasn’t going to do anything, he was safe.


	42. Compelling Evidence

The walk to Chekov’s quarters was calm, peaceful even, for Sulu. He’d nearly forgotten how much easier it made things when there was an Alpha nearby to help ease him out of the fog in his mind. Even though McCoy was doing little more than walking beside him, it still helped. The familiar panic and worry that he usually went through after a drop like that was, if not completely gone, at least muted.

Hikaru had been both grateful and disappointed when McCoy let go of his wrist upon leaving the office. The gentle touch had been calming, a reminder that McCoy wasn’t going to hurt him, but at the same time it was stressful, almost a threat that the Alpha _could_ hurt him, if he wanted.

Sulu was surprised at how at ease he felt around McCoy, even in the close quarters of the lift. He didn’t try to shift away from the Alpha even there, simply stood next to McCoy as the lift moved. He could tell the doctor was paying close attention to him, but the clearer his mind became the more he saw that for what it was. Genuine concern. They were walking the final stretch to Chekov’s room when McCoy broke the silence.

“I would like to conduct a complete physical, both to fill in your missing medical and to use as a comparison for when Huely finally gets around to giving me the originals.” McCoy stated, having determined Sulu was clear headed enough for this conversation. There might have been a better time and place for this, but time was running short, so now it was.

“I know it’s been chaotic what with that thing in engineering, but if you get a free hour or so, drop by medbay tomorrow. Sooner I get it finished, the sooner I can get my report started and bring charges up on Abbey and Huely. If, or when, you feel comfortable, I’d encourage and support you doing the same.”

Hikaru slowed to a stop, turning disbelieving eyes on McCoy. “You mean that? You’re actually going to file a complaint?” His tone was incredulous, too shocked to worry about offending McCoy. He was beginning to believe all the promises McCoy’d given about him being safe, but he’d never though that they’d ca- That they’d file a complaint against Abbey.

McCoy nodded, stopping as well and turning to face Sulu. “I am. And Jim is too. What happened on the Indiana is a disgrace to Starfleet, to civilization in general, and should never have been allowed to take place. Abbey and Huely are just as guilty as Jameson and even if that bastard is out of reach, they’ll be held accountable. Jim’s mentor is an Admiral on the Federation council and he’ll make sure this doesn’t just get buried again.”

“I see.” Sulu muttered, frowning and looking down. The thought of putting all this out there, getting an _Admiral_ involved, was overwhelming. “I… really don’t think I’m worth all that trouble…”

“You’d rather it all just get swept under the rug, let Abbey have his friends cover it up, let this sort of thing happen again, to someone else who?” McCoy intoned, lifting an eyebrow.

“No.” Sulu stated, tone a little stronger and more confident, looking up at McCoy with a sharp glance. He would _never_ wish that kind of experience on _anyone_. He hadn’t meant it that way, he just… He didn’t know what to do with the Alpha’s trying to defend him. “That’s not what I said, not what I meant.”

“I know.” McCoy held up a hand, tone peaceable. “You aren’t used to people actually listening, giving a damn. There’s a lot of here on the Enterprise that do, that will listen when you have a problem.”

McCoy reached over an activated the chime for Chekov’s quarters, raising an eyebrow at Sulu. “Jim and I both will support you when you decide to come forward. And even if the one’s responsible on the Indiana have already been dealt with, filing your own complaint will raise awareness, help protect you and other Omega’s in Starfleet. I know it’s a lot to ask, and it won’t be easy. But just think about it.”

Bones was glad to see that Sulu’s expression was more contemplative than afraid, and he hoped that the pilot would take his words to heart. They stood there in silence for a moment, then the door to Chekov’s quarters opened and the navigator was standing there, blinking in confusion between the two of them. McCoy nodded to the both of them, offering a brief work of farewell, then left.

Both Chekov and Sulu watched McCoy’s retreating figure, the Russian only turning to look at Sulu once the doctor had turned the corner and disappeared. He hesitated for a moment, eyes full of worry, before asking tentatively. “Are you alright, Karu?”

Sulu looked back at Chekov, putting on a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry to wake you up.”

The thin smile didn’t comfort Chekov in the least, and he cast a glance at where McCoy’d gone, brown furrowed in confusion and concern. “It’s fine, I vasn’t really sleeping anyvay. Did you vant to come in? Hang out?”

Some of the tension drained out of Sulu at the offer. “Yeah, that sounds amazing.” He agreed, following Chekov into the room. “Can we just sit and do nothing? It’s been a long day. I know yours has probably been longer though.”

Chekov nodded agreeably, still worried at the odd note in Sulu’s voice, not to mention the way he’d shown up here with McCoy at his side. He moved over to the bed, shuffling the pillows and blankets around with Sulu’s help and making a comfortable little nest. He’d hardly gotten settled when Sulu curled up close beside him. Chekov’s concern only increased when Sulu shivered, one arm wrapping around him.

He had to remind himself that this was the Enterprise, that McCoy would never hurt Sulu, and neither would Kirk. “I know zhat McCoy can be curt sometimes, but he means well.” Chekov tried to explain, wondering if maybe Hikaru had misinterpreted something that the doctor had said.

Sulu shook his head, curling tighter to Pav. “No, he didn’t… It wasn’t him. He didn’t do anything.”

Chekov was quiet, a part of him relaxing at the reassurance. He knew McCoy wouldn’t hurt Sulu, but somehow hearing Sulu reaffirm that was comforting. He was silent for a long moment before curiosity and concern got the better of him. He ran a hand through Sulu’s hair, heart falling at the slight flinch and the way Hikaru curled closer to him in apology. “Vhat’s vrong zhen?”

There was a long pause, long enough that Chekov had already begun to prepare himself for some lie, some reassurance that ‘nothing is wrong, I’m fine,’ when Sulu finally spoke.

“There was this thing that happened earlier, and I was arguing with Leen in sickbay. I went back to apologize to McCoy for it, and he… He wasn’t even angry. Wasn’t bothered by it at all. And we just… talked.” Sulu explained slowly, hesitant at first. Perhaps talked was a bit of a stretch. More like he’d spilled his guts out to McCoy and was still semi reeling from the fact that his words hadn’t been brushed off or contradicted.

“Zhat’s good, isn’t it?” Chekov asked, elated that Karu was actually trusting him with the truth.

“Yeah, it’s just… not what I was expecting.” Sulu explained shortly. There was more he wanted to say, knew he should say. Tell Chekov the truth of everything before… before he found out from someone else. But he was too afraid. Afraid to admit out loud how many lies he’d told, to bring up all the calls he’d missed or the messages he’d ignored from his friend. Pavel was all he had and he was afraid of losing that.

Chekov could guess at least a little what Sulu had expected from McCoy, was glad that the doctor seemed to have made some headway in convincing Sulu that things were better here. “Zhe Keptain, Doctor McCoy, all zhe crew of zhe Enterprise are good people.”

Sulu nodded slightly. So far as he’d seen, experienced, Chekov was right. Even when he was arguing with Leen, the man hadn’t looked down on him for being Omega, hadn’t been cruel or threatening. Yes, there had been a whole lot of yelling and Leen had been trying to blame Sulu, but it wasn’t out of any real malice towards him as an Omega. He remembered what Chapel had said, about some people just not getting along. He could see how that might be true. It certainly made sense.

Sulu also realized that he hadn’t been on his own in regard to that incident either. McCoy’d said that the other reports lined up with his over what had occurred, which meant that the rest of the engineering crew hadn’t shown any biases towards protecting one of their own and letting Sulu take the blame.

Sulu shuddered, curling up tighter next to Chekov. McCoy was going to file a report, try and bring charges against Abbey and Huely. Pretty soon, everyone would know. Pav would know. He knew it was stupid, how afraid he was that Chekov would look at him differently, afraid that Chekov might push him away completely. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t deserve it, he’d lied to his best friend far too many times.

He let out a long sigh, snuggling more comfortably next to Chekov and closing his eyes. Pavel was still petting his hair lightly, and the sound of the Russian’s even breathing was comforting, a constant reminder that he wasn’t alone.


	43. Behind Closed Doors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone has had a happy 4th of July (for those that celebrate it, otherwise I hope you have just had an amazing day).

For a while, Chekov sat with Sulu, mostly talking to himself because the pilot was asleep fairly quickly. He recounted his day, how bored he’d been on the bridge without Sulu there. The calculations they’d needed him to make had been simple enough for him, and he’d missed working with Hikaru. He’d gotten used to doing so over the past few days.

When he ran out of words he just sat silently, thoughts turning to Sulu and the way he’d shown up tonight at his door. It had been a painfully familiar sight.

He trusted McCoy, he really did, and he felt ashamed of that small voice that wondered if what Sulu said was completely the truth. He’d never known exactly what went on between Jameson and Sulu, only that Sulu was being hurt. He hadn’t looked like he was in any pain when he’d shown up tonight, and he’d said McCoy hadn’t done anything, but the pilot had been very out of sorts. The way he’d immediately curled up next to him, how clingy he was being… It was too familiar.

Chekov took a slow breath, hand shaking as he pulled away from Sulu. He was fighting back tears, small trembles running through him and he didn’t want to risk waking his friend. Slowly, Pavel slid from the bed, standing up and wrapping his arms around himself. Not for the first time did he wish that he could shut his brain off, stop thinking, imagining, what had happened to his best friend. How he’d been able to do nothing.

He needed to clear his head, focus on the safety and comfort that was the Enterprise. This place was different, the people here were good, he knew that. He bit his tongue, worrying for a moment. He didn’t want to leave Sulu alone. What if the pilot had another bad dream? Pavel didn’t want him to wake up scared and alone. Hikaru was sleeping so peacefully though, that Chekov didn’t think he’d wake anytime soon.

Promising himself, and Hikaru, that he wouldn’t be gone long, just a quick walk, he turned and headed out into the bright corridor.

He wandered around aimlessly, focusing so hard on not thinking that he was almost surprised to find himself standing in front of the window in the deck 5 lounge some time later. The room was empty, unsurprising considering how late it was. Anyone not on duty was likely sleeping.

Now that he wasn’t moving, was simply looking out at the black expanse, white stars going by, those thoughts he’d been shoving away came rolling back in, demanding his attention.

The past few days had been something like a dream. It had been everything he’d ever thought serving on a Starfleet vessel would be. Working with Karu, even if it hadn’t been on the bridge right now, had felt just like those first few days on the Indiana. Hikaru hadn’t told as many jokes here, but he’d seemed at ease working on the device down in engineering. He could just picture how normal it would be to have him sitting at the helm, cracking jokes like he used to do.

Chekov had seen how Scotty tried to make Sulu feel welcome and at home, and had been delighted when it had appeared to work. That first day they’d made so much headway on the device, gotten so wrapped up in working on this new and interesting discovery, that Pavel had been surprised when Sulu had taken his leave to go see Kirk. Later that night, after Sulu’d found him on his way back to Pavel’s room, they’d talked about the device and the progress they’d made and Chekov hadn’t thought twice or worried about what had happened between the Alpha and Omega.

This time thought…

Chekov had looked forward to seeing Sulu after his shift, had expected to hear all about the new discoveries they’d uncovered, maybe tease him about how much further they might have gotten if he’d been there, but Sulu hadn’t shown up. At first, he hadn’t worried too much. He’d overheard Kirk mention something about an incident in engineering and though perhaps Sulu was just caught up writing the report or whatnot.

Later, when Hikaru _still_ hadn’t shown up, Chekov had somewhat miserably decided that perhaps Sulu had forgotten or something. Maybe fallen asleep. He’d had to remind himself those were the _only_ things it could have been. There wasn’t an Alpha here that would keep him from showing up, or hurt him badly enough that he _couldn’t_ make it.

Though, apparently, that hadn’t been too far off the mark. Sulu had been with McCoy, and Pavel couldn’t help but wonder what had _really_ gone on. If they had really just talked, what had prompted that to happen? Sulu wasn’t one to just open up and share. Not anymore. And that was a painfully cutting thought.

Sulu’d used to be so open and full of mischievous joy, now he was so subdued and closed off. It was hard to image him going to McCoy and talking about much of anything. Maybe that incident in engineering had prompted it? He hoped that no one had said or done anything to hurt Sulu. Maybe he would talk to Scotty about what had happened?

“Hey kid. Thought you were with Sulu?”

Chekov jumped at the gruff voice, turning and looking wide eyed with surprise at the doctor. “Doctor McCoy! Прости. I did not see you zhere.”

“I’m not surprised. Looked like you were ten galaxies away. Everything all right?” McCoy huffed, moving to stand beside Chekov and looking out at the stars as well.

Chekov bit his tongue, looking down at his feet. It was frustrating how nervous he felt about asking. He knew McCoy wouldn’t be upset, nothing bad would happen for asking, but he couldn’t stop the way his heart sped up thinking about it. It had been so long since he’d been this nervous and worried around anyone here on the Enterprise. He didn’t like the feeling.

“Karu… He used to come to my quarters, sometimes at all hours of zhe night or morning. He… Sometimes he vould just be tired, ozher times he vas frightened, even if he tried to hide eet.” Chekov began, working up to the question he really wanted to ask. “Vhen I asked, he vould just say eet vas nozhing, he vas fine. He just vould vant to sit, listen to me talking most times, zhen he’d go to sleep.”

Chekov paused, uneasy at how that sounded so much like what he’d seen tonight. It was practically exactly what had happened earlier. “He said zhat you two just talked?” He rushed to explain himself when McCoy shifted to look over at him. “I know zhat you vouldn’t hurt him, just…”

“Kinda habit not to believe him after this long, right?” McCoy offered, lifting an eyebrow at Chekov. He looked back out to space when Chekov nodded. “We just talked.”

Chekov nodded again, feeling that knot of tension in his chest loosening at the reassurance. A part of him wanted to ask what it was they’d talked about, but he knew better than to think McCoy would tell him anything that Sulu had spoken in confidence. He was a little hurt at the thought that Sulu’d opened up to someone else instead of him, but that hurt was overridden by the amount of relief that he felt that Sulu was getting help.

“Aye, sorry, I just vorry.” Chekov apologized.

McCoy snorted. “Between you and Sulu, I’m bout tired of hearing that word. Ain’t nothin wrong with being worried about a friend.”

Chekov flushed red at that, biting his tongue. He felt both grateful and ashamed again. He’d know McCoy wouldn’t have done anything, felt ridiculous for having worried in the first place. “I am glad zhat he felt comfortable talking vith you.” Chekov mused, smothering a yawn. Now that he wasn’t such a tight ball of worry and stress, he was feeling the late hour.

McCoy let out a noncommittal grunt. He wouldn’t have described it as comfortable, more like afraid and resigned, the pilot clinging onto a hopeless hope that maybe none of that stuff would happen to him here. He’d been rolling the whole scene with Sulu around in his head ever since he’d left the Omega with Chekov. Made his blood boil just thinking about what they’d let slide on that damned ship. He nodded towards the door at Chekov’s yawn. “You should get some sleep.”

Chekov nodded, realizing a little guiltily how long he’d been gone. He’d only meant to take a short walk, clear his head. Checking the time, he realized he’d been gone for a lot longer. “I zhink I vill. You should get some rest too doctor.”

McCoy snorted. “Who’s the doctor around here?”

Chekov chuckled at the retort, already moving to go back to his quarters. As he left, he wondered if maybe McCoy couldn’t sleep because of what he and Sulu had talked about. Pavel felt a little guilty for it, but it was a bit of a relief that someone cared enough about what Sulu was going through to lose sleep over it. He was positive that Jameson hadn’t lost a moment’s sleep over the Asian’s pain.

Feeling far more calm and peaceful, Chekov walking into his quarters. Everything would get better soon. Sulu would relax, realize that everyone here was good and friendly. Without those worrisome fears and thoughts, Chekov was looking forward to curling up and falling asleep with Sulu. He stopped as he moved forward into the room, heart skipping as he tried not to panic at the cold empty bed.


	44. Are You Safe?

Sulu jogged over, grinning widely as he approached Chekov. “Hey Pav!” He stopped, brow furrowing at the expression on the Russian’s face when he turned around.

“Vhat do _you_ want?” He asked irritably.

Sulu tilted his head, heart skipping. “Pav… what’s wrong?”

“As if you don’t know.” Pav snapped, causing Sulu to take a step back at the viciousness in is tone. “Ve vere supposed to be _friends_ Hikaru.”

Sulu didn’t understand, eyes glancing around at the blurred faces of the crew surrounding Chekov, people he didn’t know. “We… we are friends.”

“No Hikaru. Friend’s don’t lie to each ozher, zhey don’t ignore each ozher for months.” Chekov informed him, tone cold and suddenly disinterested. “Zhese are my friends. I hawe found better one’s here, on zhe Enterprise. Friends that aren’t weak little Omega’s like you.”

“Pav, I-“

“No!” Chekov shouted, standing up and advancing on him. “You do not get to call me zhat! Not after what you did! Lying little coward.”

Sulu backed up, flinching at the words. The room got darker ever step back he took, the other people fading away. Chekov kept coming, face full of fury. “I did everyzhing for you, tried to be your friend, but you did not vant zhat, did you? No! You had your Alpha and zhere was no use for me. So vhy don’t you just go back vhere you belong!”

Sulu yelped as strong, rough hands grabbed him, pulled him back against a hard body. He was breathing raggedly, terror clawing at his throat as he realized just where they were. “Hello again, my Omega whore.” Jameson’s voice growled behind him, hands roaming across his body. Sulu let out a strangled cry, heart racing as Chekov turned his back.

“Pav! Chekov, please, wait!” Sulu cried out, reaching for Pavel, trying to break free of Jameson’s hold. “Please, don’t go! Help me!”

Chekov turned around slowly, looking Sulu in the eye. “You should hawe zhought of zhat before you lied. You knew zhis was wrong, you knew and you did nozhing. You deserve this.”

Hikaru couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything as Chekov turned and walked away. He shook his head, panting fearfully as Jameson pressed close behind him, finger digging painfully into him. The Alpha’s breath was hot in his ear, teeth nipping at Sulu’s neck. “You’re mine little Omega. My little bitch. You’re never gonna be anything else.”

~~

Sulu jerked upright, shivering in a cold sweat, eyes flickering around the dark room. The panic from the dream only increased when he couldn’t see Chekov, the bed cold and empty of his presence. “Pav?”

He spoke the question quietly, irrationally afraid to break the silence. He tried to stay calm, to forget the dream. It hadn’t been real, Chekov would _never_ do that. He wouldn’t…

It was hard to hold onto that thought, because there were so many reasons why Chekov could, should, abandon him. He slid to the end of the bed, standing up and looking around for a moment. He was trembling slightly, and he wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to stop. This was the exact opposite of what he’d wanted. He didn’t want to be alone right now, let this fear and uncertainty creep back up. Chekov had obviously been gone for quite some time, might not be coming back at all.

Numbly, wishing he could just stop shivering, Sulu turned and made his way out of the room. He wasn’t certain where he was going, whether to find Chekov, go back to his own quarters, or just wander the hall aimlessly. He just knew that he couldn’t stand being in that empty room anymore, fragments of that dream haunting him.

Sulu blinked, staring at the door he’d found himself in front of, Kirk’s door. Just what was he doing? What the hell had he been thinking, going here? He hadn’t been, he realized. He’d just walked here in a daze, not paying attention to where he was going. He only knew that he didn’t want to go to his own quarters where more nightmares, worse ones, would likely be waiting for him. He didn’t want to face the emptiness, be alone there. He didn’t know where Chekov had gone, or why, and he didn’t want to bother McCoy any more than he already had.

He might not have truly acknowledged it, but somewhere in his subconscious he’d realized that only left one option. And it was such a bad idea. It was so late, or really early at this point, and Sulu knew that the Alpha would be sleeping. If he’d ever dared do this on the Indiana, Jameson would have near killed him. Or at the very least, have made him wish he were dead.

He shook his head, forcing himself to stop that thought. This wasn’t Jameson, and both McCoy and Kirk were constantly trying to prove that point. Kirk wouldn’t… he wouldn’t do that, wouldn’t hurt him. It still took a force of will to step forward, activating the chime on Kirks quarters despite the pounding of his heart. He kept repeating McCoy’s reassurance in his mind, but he was still afraid. That first beating from Jameson wasn’t easy to forget, the feeling of being forced down, unable to protest. The many that followed to make the lesson stick.

He knew that he could go to McCoy for help, that the doctor would be more than able to calm him, to erase the constant shaking. Somehow, a part of him believed it when McCoy said he wouldn’t hurt him, or expect sex from him. He just needed to know, really know and trust, that it was really true and that McCoy hadn’t been lying. What better place to do that than with Kirk? The captain was the one who set the tone for the ship and, terrifying though it might be, he had to test McCoy’s assurance of Kirk’s own motives. If anything were to break the Alpha’s patience, waking him at this ungodly hour would be it.

Sulu shuffled back slightly when Kirk answered the door, keeping out of arms reach. He was surprised to see Kirk appeared wide awake for all that it had to be nearing 4AM. Jim’s expression was surprised at first, then melted into an easy smile, tinged with worry. “Hey Sulu, couldn’t sleep either huh?” The captain didn’t miss the way that Sulu was trembling, the paleness of his face. He didn’t press though, because once again it looked like Sulu might bolt at any moment.

Hikaru stood his ground even though every instinct told him this was such a bad idea. He couldn’t keep eye contact with the Alpha, eyes dropping to the floor. He clenched his fists, wrapping his arms around himself in a futile attempt to be still. He took a couple slow breaths, mentally preparing himself for whatever punishment might follow if he were wrong about this.

“I.. I’m sorry. Could I… could you...” He let out a frustrated breath, irritated at himself for how difficult this was. It was a stupid, simple question, one request. I’m upset and worried and could I just sit with you for a while until I can get enough control over my body so I don’t feel like I’m shaking apart.

“Easy Sulu, it’s alright. What’s wrong?” Kirk asked, tone full of worry.

It felt like something loosened in Hikaru at the open concern in Kirk’s voice, the way he acted so much like Chekov and McCoy’d said he would. He looked up at Kirk, meeting his eyes briefly. “I-I can’t stop shaking.”

He hesitated when Kirk stepped back, waving a hand towards his room. “You wanna come and hang out here? I’ve just been going over the status of the repairs.”

Sulu nodded, taking one halting step forward, still hesitant, but moved past Kirk into the captain’s quarters. It wasn’t any different than any of the other times he’d been in here, but it _felt_ different. He shrank away when Kirk moved forward, causing the captain to stop. “Hey, it’s alright. I’m not gonna hurt you.” Jim said, voice soft and a little sad.

“I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to... I just…” Sulu was well aware at this point that Kirk knew about Jameson, knew some of what had happened. There shouldn’t be any reason he was nervous about asking, but his heart still raced as he tried to explain. “Alph- I mean, Jameson, he didn’t like it when… when I came to him. He preferred calling me when he felt I needed him.” Sulu bit his lip for a moment, knowing how screwed up that explanation was, how it didn’t really cover all that he meant it to. Jameson had never cared about what Sulu needed. He’d only cared what about himself, what he could get from Hikaru.

Sulu took a steadying breath, forcing himself to continue. “And it’s early, now, I mean, and I know you said you weren’t asleep, but.. Are you angry? That I’m here? I know I should have just waited, or just…”

“It’s fine Sulu, I understand.” Kirk interrupted him. “You don’t have to worry, I’m not mad. I’m actually glad you felt comfortable enough to come here. I wouldn’t want you to be hurting on your own, not when I could help.”

Sulu shivered at the reassurance, shifting to the side and waiting for Kirk to move back over to the living room area. He let the captain sit down and pick up the data PADD again before he could muster up the courage to approach. He could tell Kirk was still paying attention to him, but he was grateful that Kirk was pretending not to. This was, more or less, the routine they’d settled into over the past few days.

He settled beside Kirk, not exactly pressing into him, but he couldn’t help but seek out some kind of physical contact with the Alpha. It was different, a deviation from his normal habit of keeping out of Kirk’s reach, that the captain paused for a half second, then continued to read the report.

Otherwise, Kirk didn’t react to the touch, didn’t yell or hit him, and Sulu felt almost sick from relief. The Alpha wasn’t going to demand anything from him in return, Kirk didn’t even seem bothered by Hikaru’s presence. Sulu couldn’t scent any anger from the Alpha, no hint of arousal. He flinched when Kirk leaned back, holding his breath, but Jim just settled more comfortably, even offered an apology.

Sulu let out a low breath, shifting closer. The warmth from the Alpha, the even calmness, helped. They sat in silence for the longest time, Sulu just trying to breath and soak in as much as he could, relieved when he finally stopped shaking.

“It’s so…stupid.” Sulu spoke quietly, breaking the silence. He was calmer now, could think clearer. “It was a stupid dream, I know Chekov would never… Jameson’s gone, and even if he weren’t, Chekov would leave me like that.” With Kirk’s warmth beside him, the scent of Alpha calm, it was hard to hold on to the fear and panic that the dream had inspired.

“It’s not stupid.” Kirk told him, putting the data PADD down and shaking his head slightly. He’d read the think more than once without actually processing it, too concerned with Sulu. “I’d guess it’s something you’ve worried about, Chekov leaving you? It’s not stupid to have bad dreams about that, or anything else. Sometimes nightmares come with the territory of bad experiences.”

Both of them jumped slightly at the door’s chime, Sulu tensing up a second later. “D-do you want me to…” He started to ask, trailing off unsurely.

Kirk looked back at Sulu, frowning in confusion. He wasn’t sure what Sulu was trying to ask. He thought back, remembering how the Omega had tried to get up that first night, answer the door. Not for the first time, he wondered just how many different triggers and landmines he was going to walk into, what other expectations Sulu had. “No, you don’t have to do anything.” He assured him gently, standing up and moving toward the door. It hurt to see Sulu flinch just at him standing, though he was glad to see some of the tension leave the pilot.

Kirk had no idea who it could possibly be now. It had been shocking enough to find Sulu outside his quarters at this hour, much less a second person come looking for him. Curious, and maybe a little worried, Kirk opened the door, the sight of an obvious distressed Chekov meeting him.


	45. Time to Talk

“Keptain!” Chekov’s voice was strained as he shifted from foot to foot. “I cannot find Karu anyvhere. He vas asleep, and I deedn’t mean to be gone so long, and now he is gone, and not in his room, or-“

“Woah, woah, easy Chekov.” Kirk interrupted him, holding his hands up placatingly. Pavel was near to panicking, if he weren’t already. “It’s alright, Sulu’s fine. He’s here.”

Chekov’s eyes widened, immediately looking past Kirk, moving forward to try and see Sulu. He bit his tongue, holding back tears at seeing his friend safe. He moved forward, coming to an abrupt halt as Sulu quickly stood and took a step back. “Hey… Pav…”

“K-Karu…” He couldn’t stop the tears anymore, not seeing Sulu afraid of him, hearing uncertainty in the greeting. It felt like being stabbed, chest tightening in a sharp pain, and the tears just came out. “I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be gone zhat long, I vas just going to valk, but… but… I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

Sulu looked down, guilty and ashamed at how he’d reacted. He didn’t need to be worried, this was Pav, his best friend. But seeing him come forward like that, it had reminded him of the dream, of how badly he’d already failed at being a good friend in return. And he’d gone and hurt the navigator all over again by backing away from him.

He put on a smile, looking back up and stepping forward. “Yeah, I’m.. I’m fine. I’m sorry I worried you, but I’m okay.”

Hesitant and careful, Chekov moved forward. When Sulu opened his arms invitingly, Chekov didn’t hesitate any longer, closing the last bit of distance and hugging Sulu. He pressed his face to Sulu’s shoulder, trying to get himself under control. After a moment he did, pulling back and looking up at Sulu. “Sorry I left, I really only meant to be only a few minutes. Is zhat vhy you left?”

Sulu shook his head, putting on his best smile, eyes glancing over as Kirk moved around the couch on the other side. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” He said, shifting to sit back down, Chekov following him. “It.. it wasn’t that. It… I just had some stupid dream, and I couldn’t… it was too quiet, I couldn’t stop, so I left, ended up here.”

He dropped his eyes, looking down at his hands. Despite the fact that he knew it had just been a dream, that what he’d imagined was so completely impossible, he still couldn’t shake the guilt and worry. Impossible and irrational as the dream had been, there was some truth to it. He had lied. So many times. Good friends didn’t do that to each other. He closed his eyes as Chekov pressed close to him, grateful for the contact and support, though he knew he didn’t deserve it.

“I’m sorry.” The words slipped out, quiet and scared.

Chekov felt like his heart was breaking at the sound. He felt so guilty. He never should have left Hikaru alone, should have known better. And now Sulu was afraid of him. “You don’t hawe to be sorry for anyzhing.” He tried, hugging Hikaru gently.

“No. No, I do.” Sulu insisted, leaning into Chekov. “I didn’t… I mean, I lied to you. So many times. I didn’t… It’s just… Abbey just said that was between me and… him, Jameson. And Huely was his friend, and it was stupid of me to believe them, but Abbey didn’t want to hear anything I said, and it was… I just thought that if I could do what Al- what, what Jameson said, he’d get better, that it was me, and it just spiraled out of control.” Sulu choked out, eyes shut as he trembled next to Chekov, clinging onto him while he still could. “I’m sorry I lied. I lied to you so much. I just… I was afraid, I didn’t want you getting hurt, didn’t want you or anyone to know how… pathetic I was. I couldn’t do anything right. But… with McCoy and Kirk… they’re gonna file a report, a complaint against Abbey and… You… You deserve to hear it from me. Not some rumor.”

Chekov looked over at Kirk at those words. The captain nodded, expression and tone resolute though his eyes were worried as they watched the two of them. It was more than a little awkward to sit here on the side and he felt like he was intruding, but he was pretty sure Sulu’d forgotten he was even there. “We are. Abbey doesn’t deserve to have his own command, doesn’t deserve to wear the uniform at all. And Huely shouldn’t even be called a doctor after what he let slide.”

Chekov nodded, turning his attention back to Hikaru and curling around him as best he could. It was hard to hold off the tears, heart aching at the fear and pain that had been in Hikaru’s voice. “You are not to blame, it is not your fault. I should hawe done somezhing more. I alvays zhought, suspected, but I should hawe done more. I did try, but, it vas not enough.”

Sulu shuddered. He’d known each time that Chekov had tried to help, each time the Russian had gone to Huely and tried to talk to him. Huely had always told Jameson, and Jameson had always punished him. Hikaru wasn’t sure whether that particular thing would ever come to light, but he hoped that if it did, somehow Chekov wouldn’t find out. He didn’t want Pav to feel guilty, he had nothing to feel guilty about.

“I’m sorry I lied all those times. And that I stopped writing. I really missed you all that time, but I was just… afraid to write. I didn’t want to mess up your career, you have so much going for you.”

Chekov vigorously shook his head. "You vould not mess up my career. You could newer. I'd razher ve bozh leawe Starfleet and stay best friends, zhan hawe zhe greatest job ewer but not hawe you."

“Of course you would.” Sulu laughed humorlessly. “But at least I could do something right over there, protecting you.”

“You weren’t doing anything wrong in the first place, Sulu.” Kirk spoke softly, having sat down unnoticed on the other couch.

Both Sulu and Chekov jumped slightly at his words, both having forgotten he was even there. Sulu shrank into Chekov, worried he might have offended the Alpha. Chekov simply blushed, feeling embarrassed and awkward. It’s not like he’d expected Kirk to leave or anything, this was his room after all, but he’d just been so wrapped up in what Sulu had been saying and in trying to comfort his friend.

“Zhe Keptain is right Karu, you vere not to blame for any of zhat. You didn’t do anyzhing, Jameson should hawe newer made you feel zhat vay.”

Sulu just hummed lightly in response, not really knowing what to say to that. He was starting to feel exhausted all over again. The nightmare, the stress of the previous day and talk with McCoy, and the stress of talking to Kirk and Chekov now, were all taking their toll.

“Why don’t you two try and get some sleep. You can probably fit a few hours in before you need to be on duty. I’ll cover for you if your late too.” Kirk suggested, noticing Sulu’s energy fading. He could guess Chekov wouldn’t be too far behind the pilot once the adrenaline wore off completely.

Chekov wasn’t too sure if he’d be able to sleep after this, but he could see Kirk had a point. And he doubted Sulu would want to fall asleep here on the captain’s couch. “Aye, zhank you sir.” He agreed, smiling at the half joke about covering for them. He still felt a little awkward over how this had all played out. “Ve vill see you later.” Sulu stood up when Chekov did, issuing his own thanks before walking with the navigator out the door.

Kirk watched them go, sighing once the door had closed behind them. He didn’t think Chekov would be leaving Sulu alone any time soon, and Sulu had looked equally attached to the navigator. Jim glanced over at the halfread reports, groaning lightly and running a hand down his face. He couldn’t wait for his ship to be back in working order, to get back to the day to day routine that was life on the Enterprise.

He wanted to ship to get back on her course, for communications to be fully operation so he could start his own inquiries into the Indiana. He wanted to get the forms from Pike, start the official investigation and trial against Abbey and Huely. He wasn’t sure how much that would help Sulu feel safe on the Enterprise, if it helped at all, but it would at least sooth his own rage at the injustice that had taken place.

Kirk reached over, picking up a PADD. The sooner he got through these reports, the sooner he’d know when they’d be on their way. Then he could turn his attention to more serious matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny bit of awkward in this chapter. Both in the writing, and in the scene/characters themselves. I don't know. But hey, progress.
> 
> I love all you commentators, and your comments.


	46. Reconnecting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not love the title for this chapter... but inspiration for it eluded me.

As he’d predicted, he couldn’t sleep. Chekov lay in bed, Sulu curled up next to him, wide awake and looking at the ceiling. He jumped a tiny bit when Sulu spoke, having honestly thought the pilot was sleeping.

“Hey, Pav? You awake?”

“Yes. I had zhought you vere sleeping zhough.”

“Nah, couldn’t get back to sleep.” Sulu explained, shifting slightly. “I’m not keeping you up though, am I?”

“No, I couldn’t get to sleep eizher.” Chekov sighed. He smiled a bit, looking over at Sulu. “I hope zhat I am not keeping you up, am I?”

Sulu chuckled lowly, shaking his head at the lame joke. “Nope.” He fell silent for a moment, voice more serious when he spoke again. “I was just thinking.”

“Hmm?” Chekov made a questioning sound, looping an arm over Sulu. He was relieved when the pilot didn’t flinch or pull away.

“I didn’t mean to worry you earlier. I wasn’t really thinking straight.” Sulu began. “You remember when I mentioned that incident? In engineering?”

“Aye. I heard zhe keptain mention somezhing about it on zhe bridge too, now zhat I zhink of it.” Chekov affirmed.

Sulu paused for a moment, then continued. “Well, I’d gotten into an argument with Leen over it. We were arguing all the way to sickbay, and even up until doctor McCoy separated us. I don’t remember what I said that really set Leen off, but next thing I know, McCoy’s between us, crowding to close, and I sorta pushed him away, stepped back. And that was all of that. Nurse Chapel treated my burns and I went back to my quarters.”

Chekov frowned. “Zhat Leen, McCoy had to step between you two, vas he going to try somezhing?”

Sulu shook his head, having expected the question. “No, no. I don’t think so. We’d been irritating each other all day. It just boiled over. I wasn’t worried, or afraid of him. I was just so irritated. I guess that why it took me so long to realize, I’d written and submitted the report on the incident and everything.”

“Realize vhat?” Chekov questioned when Sulu was quiet for a long moment.

“How I’d acted. Yelling, pushing the CMO.” Sulu shifted nervously, heart speeding up as he made himself continue. He needed to be able to talk about this, especially if McCoy and Kirk wanted him to file a complaint. “Jameson… he… he had this thing, about being respectful. What happened in sickbay definitely didn’t fit into that category.”

Chekov bit his tongue, arm tightening over Sulu’s shoulder as he reminded himself that Sulu was here and safe. He knew how intimidating McCoy could be, and how scary Sulu had probably found the doctor to be at first, and Pavel could imagine how Sulu might worry over how McCoy might react. He stayed quiet, not interrupting as Sulu continued talking.

“I was just… When I went to see him, McCoy, I was…” He shivered and curled closer into Chekov, remembering how afraid he’d been. “I’d gone back to apologize, I couldn’t image he wouldn’t be angry over what had happened. I’d pushed him, yelled. And when he didn’t… I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, but he just talked. He didn’t…”

Sulu let out a long sigh, giving up. He couldn’t bring himself to say what he’d expected, what he’d thought McCoy would likely do as punishment. He felt idiotic, because this was Pav and he shouldn’t be ashamed talking to him. Pav was safe, was like family, and wouldn’t judge him.

“Anyway, we just talked, and I guess it was kinda stressful, but he was alright with me coming to hang out with you after.”

“Vhy- Sorry, but, vhy vould he not be?” Chekov asked in the short silence, reluctant to interrupt his friend, but curious on that point.

Sulu hesitated, worried about how the answer would affect Chekov. “Jameson… got jealous… sometimes. When I stayed with you, or spent too much time or attention on someone else.”

Chekov didn’t say anything else, just nodded, so Sulu continued with his story. “We’d planned on hanging out after you got off shift, and I just told him that. McCoy was okay with it, and… you saw, he even walked with me. He told me, on the way, about him filing a complaint against Abbey. I didn’t really thing too much into it, honestly, I was surprised he cared to go that far. Told me Kirk would support me coming forward too, and that I should think about it.”

“And, the more I thought about that, I just… I realized you’d find out, you’d know how much I lied. And I was worried you might… I know you wouldn’t, but the thought just stuck in my head, must have followed me into my dreams. And you were there, angry at me because I’d lied, said you’d found better friends, that I should go back where I belong, and then Jameson was there and you… you left, even when I tried to ask for help.”

Chekov curling into Sulu, pressing his face into Hikaru’s shoulder. He couldn’t completely stop the tears, but he tried. “Karu, I-“

“No, Pav, no, I know you wouldn’t ever do that. It was a stupid dream, I know that. I don’t mean to make you feel bad or guilty, I just wanted to explain.” Sulu interrupted Chekov’s apology, hugging the young Russian.

“But I should!” Pav exclaimed, voice muffled slightly. “I should not hawe come here to zhe Enterprise wizhout you.”

“Come on Pav, it’s not like you had much choice. It was that or leave the fleet all together, either way the result would have been the same. And I’m fine now, so please, don’t feel bad.”

Chekov took a few deep breaths, trying to pull himself together. This wasn’t about him, he didn’t need to be burdening Sulu with his past regrets. Hikaru was talking with him, sharing with him, and he didn’t want to interrupt him anymore.

Sulu stayed quiet for a moment, head tilted, worried about Chekov. The Russian pulled back a bit, giving him a small watery smile. “You are right, Karu, sorry. I vill do my best to focus on how you are here now, safe. Da?”

Hikaru frowned slightly, not really buying the false cheer. “You okay though? I don’t want to… If you don’t want to talk about this, it’s fine, I don’t mean to-“

Chekov shook his head fiercely, cutting Sulu off. “No, no. I am fine, I promise. It is difficult to hear, yes, but I vant to. I vant to be here for you, to help. Ignoring it von’t vork.”

“When did you get to be so wise and all knowing?” Sulu chuckled, though his next words were more serious. “I do want to talk to you, about something McCoy said. Just kinda went the long way getting to it..” Hikaru sat up with a light sigh. “He said that he was filing a complaint against Abbey and them, yeah? And he mentioned me doing the same. He wasn’t pressuring me or anything, he just said to think about it. And I know I should, I want to, but… Pav. Even what little I just told you was hard to say out loud. How am I supposed to… I was never able to tell you everything, how can I get up in front of a judge in a trial and testify against them?”

Chekov sat up as well, scooting until he was sitting right next to Sulu, and leaned against the pilot. “I vill be zhere. And you could try and zhink of it as just us talking. You can talk to me anytime, if you vanted to practice? Zhat might help?”

Sulu stood up and stretched, he knew he wasn’t going to be going back to sleep and they only had maybe an hour before their shift anyway. He let out a breath, trying to lighten his tone, shift the mood of the conversation. “Like practicing a big speech in a mirror. I haven’t done that since I was a kid.” He joked, giving Chekov a short grin. The expression was short lived seeing the forced smile he got from Chekov, and he shook his head once. “Thanks, Pav, I’ll… I’ll think about it okay? It just, a lot to take in, you know?” He took a deep breath, breathing out a sigh before putting on a smile again. “I should get going now though, our shift starts soon and I need to shower and change. Meet you down in engineering later, okay?”

“Alright, Karu. I vill see you zhere.” Chekov replied, putting on a smile to match Sulu’s.


	47. Dealing With It

As soon as Sulu left, Chekov's smile vanished. He felt painfully empty and anxious, both at once. There was so much to take in. He was used to math equations being dumped on him, and numerous facts, but hearing part of the horrible past to your best friend? It wasn't something that digested quickly.

He sat there for awhile, simply staring at his wall as his thoughts raced. He finally decided that a shower would do him good. Maybe the water could help rinse off some of the sick feeling creeping up his body.

Once in, Chekov ended up standing there, letting the water spray onto his back. He couldn't imagine what it was like to not trust someone so hard. Sure, he wasn't the most trusting person at first, he knew better, but he couldn't imagine what it was like to live in constant fear of doing the right thing. And if you did something wrong, just _waiting_. Chekov didn't want to imagine what had to have happened - and how _long_ \- for this sort of thing to take hold. Not even wanting to go to someone who was supposed to help you. That even they hurt you.

Whenever he’d talked to the CMO on the Indiana, Huely had dismissed his concerns. If Sulu had encountered the same thing, or even worse of a reaction, it was no wonder his friend had been nervous and afraid to go to McCoy. Huely should have been there to help, but he’d only cause more hurt.

Chekov shuddered, taking a deep breath. Nope, he wasn't going to think of this now. Not now. Later. He was going to be late for his shift if he took anymore time.

Trying his best to ward off any further thoughts on the subject, he finished in the shower, put on a clean uniform, and headed towards engineering. Common sense told him that he should really eat breakfast, but the rest of his brain told him not to, so he ended up missing it.

Being careful to slap on a smile, Chekov made his way to Scotty and Sulu. They set into their work almost immediately, for which Chekov was extremely grateful. He was scared that if he looked Sulu in the eye, or had to joke around too much, the pilot would know the truth of what he was feeling right now. He didn't want to worry Hikaru.

There was plenty to distract him and Sulu, thankfully. Only a couple hours in and they had finally found a fix for the problems with the warp engines. Scotty very cheerfully delivered the news to Kirk and not long later Sulu left to resume his spot at the helm. The captain wanted to get underway again as soon as possible, their four day stop here had caused enough delay as it was.

When Sulu had to leave for the bridge, Chekov was ashamedly relieved. He glanced around for Scotty, but it appeared that the engineer had moved on at one point. Pavel let out the lightest of sighs. He could let his thoughts run free here. No one was around, it was quiet (to some extent), and he was doing something he could do in his sleep.

His immediate thought upon opening up the flood gates was guilt. He felt so guilty for getting Sulu into trouble. Every time he had tried to get help he ended up causing more pain. He’d realized that before, back on the Indiana, but it wasn’t until now that he realized just how much it had likely been. After so long of not seeing Sulu, to watch him here and now it told him more than he’d like to know about what his friend had gone through. Sulu might not have told him everything, might not ever, but from what little he had heard and what he’d seen, he could put the pieces together.

He wanted to apologize to Hikaru over and over, even though he knew it would do nothing. If he had known that even just hanging out with him was a problem, he would have dragged Sulu far, far away. Against regulations or not, he should have taken Karu away from there, should have done something more.

Pavel wished he could tell Hikaru that it was okay that he had lied. Sulu’d _had_ to, to stay alive. Sulu had been trying to keep him safe, and if that was how he'd coped with what had been happening, so he couldn’t blame his friend. Of course, it had hurt, did hurt, to be lied to, but Chekov knew that there was no other choice. How he wished he could make Sulu believe that it wasn't his fault. _None_ of it was his fault.

A knot of fear settled itself in Chekov's stomach. Sulu mentioned that he would have to testify against the culprits. Pavel was scared he was going to freeze up and not say anything. What if they made him go back? What if the truth never came out and the doctor and captain of the Indiana went along without punishment? What if Sulu had to live with the thought and guilt that they were out there, somewhere, doing the same to someone else?

Chekov shuddered deeply, flinching from his thoughts as he dropped his tool. He looked at it for a moment, heart racing. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, before picking it up and getting back to work. Maybe, somehow, he could convince the judge to let him stand next to Sulu while he spoke, or something. Or maybe they could record the big statements, play it, and Sulu can just confirm and give other comments? Pavel sighed. The court was strict, they'd never let either of those options slide. They would want Sulu’s first-hand account. It would be solely up to Sulu and Sulu alone, but Chekov was sure to offer as much support and comfort that he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter written by my dearest friend, Augs!


	48. Taking a Stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny bit of a timeskip from the last chapter to this one. 
> 
> Luvs to you all my lovely readers.

“What have you got for me Spock?” Kirk asked, leaning back in his chair and waiting.

Kirk had squirreled himself away into his briefing room, along with a mountain of paperwork he needed to get through. It had been nearing a week since they’d gotten the ship repaired and back on track.

They hadn’t even needed to stop by any starbases to find replacement parts after it was all finished either. Once all their systems were purged, Kirk had left a warning buoy at the site, and the Enterprise had continued along her way.

Despite the amount of paperwork the repairs had required, most of the paperwork he was currently working on was related to Sulu. As promised, Pike had sent him the forms and filing a complaint and organizing the evidence... It was a long and arduous process. McCoy’s evidence alone was spread across four data PADDs.

Considering he hoped to send the completed file to Pike within the next day, he needed to get to work finishing it. Spock’s information was the last bit to gather and compile. He knew his first officer wouldn’t let him down, the Vulcan had already had near a week’s worth of time to find stuff out.

“My investigation into the crew of the Indiana was not well received. 85% of the crew have worked together for seven years, the remaining 15% for less than one year. Two years ago, Lieutenant Sulu, then Ensign, was assigned as pilot to the Indiana. I discovered that, prior to Lt. Sulu’s posting there, Lt. Jameson had been reprimanded many times for altercations with other crewmembers. His commanding officer described him as ‘volatile, but worth the trouble’. As far as I have been able to ascertain, all such incidents ceased once Sulu joined the crew.”

“So, Jameson had a temper and took it out on Sulu once he had the opportunity. Tell me something I don’t know.” Kirk groaned.

“Unfortunately, I have not been able to uncover any additional information. I believe that some of my inquiries might have been blocked completely by someone within the Federation.”

Kirk sighed. “Yeah, I was afraid that would happen. McCoy and I have been running into that problem too. I’ll take what you’ve gotten so far, get it put in the report. Maybe Pike will have more luck.”

“Of course.” Spock nodded once, handing Kirk the data PADD. “Jim, whoever is responsible for impeding our investigation will likely act in some way to halt it completely, or even retaliate against you. I would advise caution going forward.”

“Yeah, Spock, I know, but I’m not about to be bullied by some faceless people hiding in the shadow. If this goes that deep in the Federation, something needs to be done about it sooner rather than later.”

Spock nodded his agreement before turning and leaving. He’d expected that response from Kirk, though he’d still thought it best to advise the captain for the need to be cautious. He’d been told the same thing by some of his contacts when he’d made inquiries. He had no intention of leaving the matter as it was, however, he simply must go about searching for information in a different manner.

~~

Sulu had only had one session with Kirk since the Enterprise had been repaired. True to his word, the captain had let Hikaru decide when he wanted to see him. The first time Sulu had turned down Kirk’s offer of a time to hang out, he’d nearly broken down. After pacing around his quarters for a good thirty minutes, he’d eventually gone to find Chekov and had sat and talked with him for a while. Pav had been more than happy to reassure him, but it had still taken until the next day on the bridge, seeing Kirk and receiving no reprimand or repercussions, for Sulu to truly relax.

Other than the complete physical that McCoy’d wanted, and that hour had been full of awkward questions and nervous answers, things aboard the ship had been running rather smoothly for Hikaru.

The day to day routine aboard the Enterprise was refreshing for Sulu. Knowing what to expect, and not having to worry about what might be demanded of him, was such a new experience. He talked to Chekov a lot, taking him up on his offer to help, though he didn’t really give him any of the graphic details about what had happened with Jameson.

At the moment, however, he was looking for the captain.

Finding Kirk proved to be a bit more of a challenge than Sulu might have liked. He knew that Kirk had been busy lately, likely with filing the accusations and complains that he’d agreed to bring up, so Sulu didn’t bother trying to go to the man’s quarters. Nearly an hour later, a bit stressed from having to force himself to speak with a few crew to ask after Kirk, and Sulu found himself outside of the captain’s briefing room.

Sure, it might have been easier to contact Jim over the comm system, certainly would have been faster, but Sulu had been more than happy to take his time. If he were honest, though, he would admit that he simply hadn’t had the nerve to do so. It was difficult enough coming to find the captain for this, he wasn’t sure he could send him a message or speak over the comm. Besides, he needed to get his thoughts in order, make sure that he was certain about this decision.

Hikaru’d been told that Jim was alone in the room, having just retreated in there to get some work done without any distractions. He didn’t give himself a chance to back out or second guess himself, activating the chime and walking in when Kirk called.

“Sir… I… Sorry to disrupt you sir, I was wondering if you had a moment to just… I mean, if I could just, speak with you?” Sulu all but stumbled over the words, tension increasing with every syllable. He couldn’t look up at the captain, eyes trained on the floor in front of him. This was such a bad idea. No. He gave himself a mental shake. No, it wasn’t. He could do this, it was fine.

“Yeah, sure Sulu, not a problem.” Kirk answered easily, and when Sulu looked up at him the captain was wearing a grin. “I’m glad for a break actually. You would not believe how repetitive and dull this paperwork is.”

Sulu slipped forward, still feeling relief that Kirk wasn’t mad, Kirk wasn’t going to hit him, didn’t think he was being disrespectful. Because, of course, Kirk wouldn’t do anything like that, he’d promised.

Hikaru moved to sit in the chair Kirk waved towards. He was quiet for a moment, unsure where to start, feeling awkward in the silence.

“So, what’s on your mind?” Kirk asked after a moment, head tilted, eyes worried as he watched Sulu fidget slightly.

“I…” Sulu hesitated, fidgeting for a moment before making an aborted move to reach out to Kirk, wanting some reassurance, some grounding touch. He stopped short, stupidly afraid again and cursing himself for the reaction. He knew Kirk wouldn’t mind, wouldn’t get mad, so why couldn’t he just…

Kirk moved slowly, placing a warm and gently hand on Sulu’s wrists, dipping his head some to try and look Sulu in the eyes. “Hey, it’s alright, you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry, I know, I can’t…” Sulu signed shakily, leaning forward, trying not to tremble. “I just…” He almost whined at the gently noise Kirk made, the Alpha putting a comforting hand on Sulu’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, easy Sulu, just relax. Breathe.” Kirk told him gently, his other hand still holding Sulu’s wrist.

Sulu took a slow breath at the order, letting it out, and the slight shiver that had crept up on him soon vanished. It was hard to hold on to the stress and fear like this. The touch was grounding, letting him get his thoughts in order and his nerves settled.

Kirk dropped his hand when the pilot moved to straighten up, though he kept his other on the Omega’s wrist. “You alright?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.” Sulu nodded, meeting Kirk’s worried gaze.

“Want to talk about it?”

Sulu took a deep breath, nodding once. “I… I’ve decided that I want to file a complaint. Against Abbey, Huely, and Jameson. Doctor McCoy is right, I don’t want this sort of thing to happen to anyone else, and nothing will change if I don’t do anything.”

Kirk was a bit speechless for a moment, not having expected Sulu to be ready to do this so soon. “Of course, I’ll support you fully in that.” Kirk affirmed. He hesitated for a moment before continuing. He didn’t want to cause Sulu to change his mind, but he needed to make sure the pilot knew what it was he was agreeing to do. “You’ll need to make a written statement about what he, Jameson, did. And the inaction from Abbey and Huely. When charges are pressed, you’ll also likely be called to testify.”

Sulu nodded slowly. “Yeah, I… I’ve thought about that. And. It needs to be done. It scares the crap outta me, I’ll be honest, but I need to do this.” He wasn’t looking forward to having to write down in a report all of his experiences as Jameson’s hands, much less have to speak in out loud. The only consolation was that he wouldn’t have to look at Jameson when he did it. The Alpha had held such control over Sulu, he wasn’t sure he’d have been able to if it had come to that.

“Alright.” Kirk agreed. “I’m actually working on my file for this anyway. I’m going to submit it tomorrow, but I can wait and send both of ours to Starfleet once you’ve completed yours?”

Outwardly, Sulu nodded in agreement. Really though, he was afraid, terrified even, to actually commit to this decision. Sure, he’d talked about testifying with Chekov, but to talk to Kirk and tell him he was ready… That was something else.

If Sulu were honest with himself, he might admit that he _wasn’t_ really ready. He put on a brave face when talking about Jameson with Chekov, easy enough to do now that he felt marginally safe on board the Enterprise, but deep down he was still afraid. There was a part of him that wondered if it was just a matter of time before things went back to the way they’d been for the past two years and, much as he tried, he couldn’t completely silence that small voice.

And maybe that was why he was pushing himself so hard to do this, trying to force himself to get over it, get past it. He didn’t care if it was a good idea or not. Jameson was dead, he was out of that relationship and off of that ship, so why was he still so caught up in it? He knew it was still affecting him, how he spoke and acted, and that fact frustrated him. He was a Starfleet officer, he should be stronger than this. He _was_ stronger than that and he’d file his own complaint, testify against the Captain and CMO of the Indiana, regardless of how many reservations he had about it.

“I can get it to you by tomorrow afternoon, Sir.”


	49. Orders from on High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another lil time skip from the last chappy.

Kirk came onto the bridge in a good mood, coffee in hand. They were due to arrive at the space station Delta 6 today to resupply, then they’d be off to chart an unexplored sector of this quadrant. “What’s our status Mister Sulu?” He asked, settling down in his seat.

“We’ll be at Delta 6 is approximately 23 minutes, Sir.” Sulu reported, glancing back at the captain briefly.

“Perfect.” Kirk said cheerfully. This day was already starting out very well for him. They’d get some supplies, Scotty could get off his case about the things they needed in engineering now, they had an exciting mission to undertake, and Kirk expected to hear from Pike regarding the status of their investigation into the Indiana and the charges he’d filed against Abbey. All in all, it looked to be a good day.

In no time at all, the station was in view, the large silver structure gleaming in the darkness of space. Kirk smiled at the view. He glanced over as the doors to the bridge opened, McCoy walking through.

“Bones! Here to add some last-minute supply requests?” He teased.

“Real funny Jim.” McCoy huffed, moving to stand beside Kirk and crossing his arms. “Let’s see if you’re still laughing when your insides are turning to goo and you’re bleedin outta your pores and I ain’t got the supplies to fix ya cuz you forgot to get the Ixlian compound I asked for.”

Kirk grinned, chuckling and giving McCoy a sidelong look.

“Sir.” Uhura interrupted Kirk’s teasing of the doctor. “There’s an incoming message from an Admiral Henry. He’s requesting to speak with you urgently, captain. In private.”

Kirk lifted an eyebrow, glancing over at McCoy one last time, then turning to Uhura. Going by her expression, the Admiral likely hadn’t phrased his request quite as politely as Uhura had relayed it. “I’ll take it in the conference room.” He said, already heading that way. “Spock, get us docked and the resupply underway.”

Jim had a feeling this conversation wasn’t going to be a quick one, and something told him it wasn’t going to be pleasant either.

The face waiting him when he activated the screen was not a happy one. “Captain Kirk.” The Admiral began gruffly, wasting no time with pleasantries. “I am very busy, as I’m sure you are as well, so I’ll keep this brief and to the point. I have an urgent matter to discuss with you, and one Lt. Hikaru Sulu. My ship docked at the space station one hour ago and I’ve been awaiting the Enterprise’s arrival. As soon as your ship is docked, I will need to meet with you and the Lieutenant. I’ll trust you to have a room ready.”

Kirk frowned, brow furrowed in confusion. “Of course, Admiral, I’ll make the necessary arrangements, but what is this about?” He wondered briefly if this was about their inquiry and complaint, though that didn’t seem likely seeing as it had only been a couple days and Pike had told him it would take time. He’d have heard from Pike first if there had been any progress, had hoped to be hearing from him today in fact.

“I’ll explain during our meeting.” Admiral Henry answered curtly. “Now, you have a ship to captain and arrangements to make, and I have my own things to get in order. I will meet you in your transporter room as soon as you’ve completed docking.”

Kirk sat back as the screen went dark, good mood completely vanished. He was uneasy about this, suspicious even. He shook his head, leaning forward again and attempting to contact Pike. If anything, maybe he could give him a clue, let him know if this Henry was here to start the investigation.

It took a frustrating amount of time for the call to connect and instead of Pike, Jim was met with the face of a secretary who insisted that Pike was in an urgent meeting and unable to be reached.

“Look.” Kirk eventually sighed. “Just tell him I need to speak with him as soon as possible. Alright?”

Thoroughly frustrated, and running low on time before he was supposed to meet with the Admiral, Kirk made his way back to the bridge. They were in the final steps of docking when he arrived, so he waited until the ship was secured before walking forward.

“Spock, I’m going to need you to oversee the resupply, I’ve got a surprise meeting with an Admiral apparently.” He informed the Commander before turning to Sulu. “You’re needed there too Sulu.”

Sulu gave Kirk a surprised look, confused. “Yes sir.” He agreed automatically, glancing over at Chekov.

“Don’t worry.” Kirk grinned, following Sulu’s gaze to Chekov. “You’ll still have plenty of time to wander the station before we disembark.”

Kirk took a step toward the lift, nodding his head to Sulu. “C’mon.”

Hikaru stood up, casting one last glance back at Chekov, shrugging lightly to his friend, then followed Kirk. He could only guess this was about the report they’d filed against Abbey and Huely, though he hadn’t expected the Federation to move quite this quickly. It twisted his stomach in knots. For all that he’d agreed to do this, he was still terrified at the prospect.

The trip to the transporter room was quiet, Kirk only speaking up to tell him the Admiral’s name, apologizing for not knowing anything more. Jim wished he’d been able to talk to Pike before meeting with Henry. It would have put his mind at ease to have a hint of what to expect, or at least have someone of equal rank ready to back him in the event that this was bad news.

Kirk and Sulu arrived at the transporter room just as the Admiral arrived. Kirk stepped forward with a smile, offer his hand. “Admiral, welcome aboard.”

Admiral Henry ignored the offer, brushing past him, briefcase in hand. “Come on then Captain. I haven’t all day. This will be Lt. Sulu then? Good. Let’s get this started then.”

Sulu blinked at the cursory look he got from the Admiral, falling into step behind Kirk as the Captain moved to follow and then catch up to the Admiral. “I’ve arranged for us to meet in the conference room on deck 3.” Kirk informed Henry, a little off balance at the man’s curt attitude. “What’s this about?”

“I’m hardly going to discuss this matter in the middle of the corridor, captain. Surely you have more decorum than that?” The Admiral huffed, shaking his head.

Kirk frowned at the dismissal of his question. He chose not to press, they’d be finding out soon enough and two minutes wouldn’t make much difference either way. He glanced over at Sulu, trying to give him a reassuring look. The pilot seemed nervous, which was understandable given the Admiral’s brashness.

“Alright, Admiral.” Kirk began once the tree of them were settled in the conference room. “What is this about?”

“I’m here as a favor. I am on personal leave at the moment, but I’ve agreed to escort Sulu to his new post. The council also asked that I extend their apologies for the mix up.” Henry stated, snapping open his briefcase brusquely.

“Wait, Sulu’s new post? What mix up?”

“You should have received these orders days ago.” Henry frowned, tapping his finger on the table top restlessly as he laid out two data PADDs. “I don’t have time to go over every line of the orders. This is something you should have done when you received the notification. If the Lieutenants things are not ready for transport, you will simply have to ship them out later. He is to accompany me today.”

“I never received that communication.” Kirk insisted. “I was never informed that Sulu was being reassigned, I’d have questioned the decision, requested that he remain part of my crew.”

“It’s highly unlikely that request would have been granted. I have Mister Sulu’s transfer orders right here. It’s come to light that his qualifications don’t quite match up to what is required for a posting such as this one. The Federation’s flag ship is a very prestigious place to be assigned. There are more qualified candidates, the appropriate one is on his way enroute. Hikaru’s approval for this position was made in error. Lieutenant Commander Elliot should have been the one posted here, instead of on the USS Freedom.” Henry explained, sliding a PADD across to Kirk.

“What?” Kirk questioned, picking up the PADD and reading it quickly. “That’s not possible, his initial request to join this crew was approved, I spoke with-“

“Who you spoke with is irrelevant.” Henry interrupted, standing up. “Lt. Sulu’s reassignment orders are right there, plain to see. He is to come with me, where he will be transported to the Freedom.”

“Admiral, you can’t just-“

“This isn’t a request, Captain. This is the decision of the Federation. So, unless you would like to be charged for disobeying a direct order from the federation council…?” The Admiral cut him off again, gathering up his things before looking Kirk in the eye.

Kirk ground his teeth together. Henry had him backed into a corner and the Admiral knew it. He didn’t have anything to use to convince the man that Sulu should be allowed to remain. The transfer orders were right in front of him, and going against them wouldn’t be of any use to anyone right now. He looked over at Sulu, worry increasing at the blank expression on the pilot’s features.

“Lieutenant Sulu, if you would accompany me. My ship is due to depart soon if we are to remain on schedule and rendezvous with the Freedom.” Henry stated, already moving toward the door.

Sulu rose numbly, nearly in shock at how quickly this had happened. He’d though this would have something to do with the charges they were trying to bring against Abbey. He’d never have guessed, never have expected the Admiral to be carrying orders for his reassignment. He wondered if this had been how Chekov had felt that day he’d been reassigned. Cold and numb. If he had more time to process it, he’d might have broken down like his young friend had. Might still do that, later when he was alone.

“Don’t worry, alright? I’ll get this figured out, get you transferred back here in no time. This is just some mix up, has to be.” Kirk assured him, walking beside him down the corridor. Sulu wasn’t entirely sure if he should believe the captain. He knew that the Alpha would do his best, but Sulu didn’t hold much hope for it working out. It was ironic almost. It had been impossible to get transferred off of the Indiana, but here, when he _wanted_ to stay, he was being forced to leave already.

Admiral Henry only turned to address Kirk again once they’d reached the transporter room. “You’re new pilot will be arriving within the next few hours.” He gave Sulu a look, waiting impatiently for Hikaru to join him on the transport pad, then turned his gaze back to Kirk with a short nod of farewell as the lights of the transporter surrounded him. “Captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that wasn't suspicious or stressful at all, now was it?
> 
> Comments are loved and adored. They make me such happy.


	50. Bad News All Around

Kirk held it together until the lights of the transport pad had faded, muscles trembling slightly with rage. They couldn’t do this. “Damn it!” He shouted, turn storming out. This wasn’t going to be the end of this he vowed to himself, determined on Sulu’s behalf to sort this out. Didn’t have the qualifications his ass. Sulu was the most competent, overqualified, pilot he’d ever met.

Kirk put on a mask of calm as he strode down the corridor. It wouldn’t do the crew any good to see him out of sorts like this. He lost his stride, stomach sinking as he caught sight of Chekov. The young Russian saw him as well, grin lighting his face as he jogged over. Damn it again. Kirk wasn’t looking forward to informing the kid that Sulu was gone and hadn’t been expecting to have to do it so soon, before he’d gotten a chance to try and figure out what was going on.

"Hello Keptain!" Chekov greeted cheerfully, coming to a stop right in front of Kirk. "I zhought Hikaru vould hawe been vizh you." he paused, glancing around to make sure Sulu wasn't behind him or anything. "Do you know vhere he is? Vhe planned on wisiting zhe space dock." he smiled widely, lowering his voice somewhat. "I vant to surprise him by taking him down to see zhe old ship show and if ve don't leawe soon ve vill be late!"

Kirk hesitated momentarily, scrambling for a way to break it to him easily. Not that there was even the remote chance of that being possible. Sulu’d only been here for what, two weeks now? A little over that maybe? And for him to just have to leave so suddenly, Kirk knew Chekov was not going to take it well. “Sulu is…” He sighed, shaking his head. “Admiral Henry brought orders from the council for Sulu’s reassignment. There’s obviously been some mistake about it, which I plan to fix immediately.”

Chekov blinked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He didn't understand. "...Reassignment? Hmm, zhat is not right." he paused a moment, then gave Kirk a light smile. "I know you vill fix eet, zhough, seir. But really, vhere can I find him?"

“I’m sorry, Pavel.” Kirk told him gently, wishing there were something he could say or do. This wasn’t the place to be giving news like this, here in the middle of the corridor. “The Admiral was here on his own personal leave time, and his ship is scheduled to depart very soon. Orders were for Sulu to go with him immediately.”

"Vait, so zhat means..." he frowned, ducking his head as it started to sink in. Sulu was gone? That couldn't be... He was here for such a short amount of time, and he was sure that it was against regulations somewhere that you couldn't just take someone like that without warning. Chekov fiddled with the edge of his sleeve, unsure of what to think about all this. "Zhey can't do zhat zhough," he murmured, looking up at Kirk with damp eyes. "Zhey.. Don't zhey need clearance? Vhy veren't ve told sooner."

“The Admiral told me that the orders had been sent days ago.” Kirk explained, frowning as he crossed his arms, disbelief leaking into his tone. “Supposedly, there was some mix up and Sulu was supposed to be assigned to the Freedom. Some bull about his qualifications.” He shook his head, unfolding his arms as he moved forward, indicating for Chekov to follow him. “I have a bad feeling about whatever this is, it just doesn’t sit right. And I plan to get to the bottom of it. Think you could pick up an extra shift on the bridge?”

Kirk was fairly certain what the answer to that question would be and he wasn’t disappointed. Chekov drew in a shaky breath as he fell in step beside Kirk, and the captain could see the resolve hardening in the young Russian’s eyes. “Aye, sir.”

Jim was already forming a plan on how to set this right, and get to the bottom of what had happened in the first place. The first step was talking to Pike. Once they arrived on the bridge, he sent Chekov to his station, then waved a hand at the officer in the chair, indicating he remain there. Kirk wasn’t planning on sticking around long enough to bother him right now. Instead, Jim moved over to Uhura. “Hey, can you get in touch with Admiral Pike? I don’t care what you tell who, I need to talk to him.”

Nyota lifted an eyebrow, but nodded. “Of course. Where do you want me to send the call once I’ve got him?” She asked, knowing that whatever Kirk wanted to talk to Pike about likely wasn’t something that would be discussed on the main viewer.

“Send it to my quarters, sooner the better.” Kirk told her straightening up. “And for now, make sure the crew stay on the ship. Any and all shore leave, postpone it.”

“Sir?” Uhura cast him a confused look.

“It’s just a feeling, but I want to be prepared just in case.” He explained. It wasn’t much of an explanation, but he just had this gut feeling that something was off. He turned to leave once Uhura nodded in confirmation. He still had to log the transfer, but before he did that he was going to go over it again. There had to be something he’d missed. He’d keep looking til he found it, or until he got in contact with Pike and found out for sure that this wasn’t something he could fight.

~~

It took longer than he’d thought it would for Uhura to get Pike on the comms. It had been over an hour and Kirk had scoured over the orders trying to find some part of it that would let him allow Sulu to stay on the Enterprise until they could get this figured out.

He was pretty sure he had the damn thing memorized by the time Uhura’s voice came over the comm, letting him know she was sending the call with Pike to his screen. Kirk placed the data PADD down with a sigh, leaning back as Pike came on the screen.

“Jim, good to hear from you again. What can I do for you?” Pike asked, tone easy and unworried.

Kirk frowned, head tilting somewhat as he regarded Pike. “I take it you never got my message.”

Pike paused, frowning lightly. “No, I haven’t had any messages. Haven’t even been away to need someone to take a message.”

“The secretary said you were in a meeting, couldn’t-“ Kirk stopped, sighing. “Never mind. That’s not what I wanted to talk about right now. We’ve stopped to resupply here at Delta 6 and we had an Admiral Henry waiting on us. He met with me and Sulu, and brought with him a set of orders reassigning Sulu to the USS Freedom. Some spiel about qualifications.”

“I looked at Sulu’s request to join the Enterprise myself, he’s more than qualified.” Pike stated, shifting to pull up some information on his screen. None of what Kirk was telling him made sense. He’d been keeping an eye on the whole situation surrounding Sulu, would have heard of any orders pertaining to him. “What’s going on Jim?”

“Admiral Henry was just here, showed me the transfer orders and everything. Insisted they had been sent over days ago, that Sulu was required to leave with them or face being discharged from Starfleet. He didn’t give me much choice, or any chance to ask questions. Said he was on personal leave, doing a favor to the council by coming to get Sulu to transfer him to his new post.”

Pike shook his head. “I haven’t heard anything about that. And I’ve been keeping an eye on your pilot’s situation.”

Kirk reached over to grab the data PADD, holding it up to show Pike. “Well, then what the hell just happened? The Admiral gave me the orders himself, they’re right here. I’ve gone over it a hundred times.”

“And I’m telling you, there are no transfer orders, Jim.” Pike insisted, brown furrowed. “There’s no transfer request, no approval. Lt. Hikaru Sulu is listed on active duty posted as chief helmsman of the Enterprise. I haven’t heard or seen anything about _any_ request or orders for reassignment. On top of that, there’s no way he even _could_ be assigned to the Freedom, there are no Alpha’s on that ship.”

Kirk froze for a second, turning this over in his mind. He let out a sharp curse, bolting from the room and heading at a run toward the bridge.

He was panting slightly as he stepped onto the bridge. He held his hand up to Spock to halt any question for now, eyes on Uhura as he strode over. “Uhura, I need to you to connect me with Admiral Henry. They have a small craft docked here, should be registered.”

Nyota nodded, turning immediately to try and contact the Admiral. Kirk turned to Spock as the Vulcan walked over.

“Captain?” Spock inquired, brow furrowed in concern and confusion.

“Sulu’s transfer orders were faked.” Kirk told him shortly. “I spoke with Admiral Pike, Sulu’s still listed as active and assigned to the Enterprise and Pike hadn’t even seen a request come through.”

Spock lifted an eyebrow, expression unreadable as ever, looking toward Uhura when she spoke.

“Sir, I can’t find Admiral Henry’s ship listed on the station’s computers. They refuse to admit he was even here.”

“What?” Kirk frowned, stepping forward and looking at the display himself. “That’s impossible.”

“We may be able to detect the Admiral’s ship on sensors.” Spock pointed out, moving over to a station. “He and Lt. Sulu departed two hours ago, it is possible he has not had the chance to clear the station in order to go to warp.”

“Uhura, get us clearance to disembark.” Kirk ordered, straightening and moving to the captain’s chair. “Helm, disengage mooring. We’re leaving whether they like it or not. Spock, see if you can find that ship.”


	51. Taken

Hikaru felt like he was in a daze, walking mindlessly behind the Admiral. The section of the starbase they walked through was busy, crowded and noisy, and Sulu found it fit in pretty well with the chaos going on in his own mind. It suddenly hit him, as they walked past a young lady speaking over video chat, that he hadn’t even said goodbye to Chekov. He felt guilty that he was only just now thinking of that, but he hoped that his friend would understand if he knew. It had been a very sudden shock and Sulu hadn’t been given a chance to do anything more than walk to the transporter room.

He took a few quick steps, bringing him alongside the Admiral. “Sir, I realize you are in a hurry, but could I just take a moment, speak to my friend? He’s going to worry when I don’t meet him later.” He frowned when Henry didn’t respond, acting as if he hadn’t heard Sulu at all. Hikaru waited a moment, until the crowd had thinned, and they two of them had turned down a side corridor, before speaking again.

“Sir, did-“

“I heard you just fine.” Henry snapped curtly. “I’m not deaf. And no, I think you’ve caused me enough trouble as it is, I’ll not wait around to have you bemoaning the unfairness of life.” Henry stopped, huffing and looking around in irritation. “Where are those two idiots?”

Sulu came to a stop as well, feeling uneasy. “You’re looking for someone?”

“Typical…” Henry muttered under his breath, tossing a glance at Sulu. He sighed, turning to face the pilot. “Of _course_. Did you think I flew my ship here by myself? Honestly- Ah! Finally. Where have you two been? We need to depart as soon as possible.” Henry brushed past Sulu, having caught sight of the two he’d been waiting on.

Hikaru was relieved to turn and see to redshirted Starfleet officers approaching. For a moment, he’d had a feeling that they were waiting on someone not affiliated with Starfleet. He still couldn’t shake the feeling of unease, but he pushed it aside to follow after Admiral Henry. It didn’t help his nerves at all when the two men that joined them walked behind him, almost like an escort or guard.

In no time at all they reached the Admirals ship.

Once they were on board, the two red shirts drifted off, Hikaru could only assume to go prepare the ship for departure. Hoping that the Admiral would be in a better mood now that they were nearly underway, Sulu spoke up once more. “Sir, if there’s nothing for me to do to assist with the ship, could I use the comm to speak with Ensign Chekov on the Enterprise? He’s the-“

“Didn’t I already answer that?” Henry interrupted, tossing his briefcase down roughly and turning to glare at Sulu. “You’ve already caused enough grief with your whining and complaining. Honestly, you should have just resigned after your Alpha died. Kirk’s a good enough captain, I’ll grant him that, but bleeding hearts like his don’t know how to handle an Omega in a setting such as this.”

“What?” Sulu questioned, not wanting to believe what he’d just heard.

“As annoying as your little filed complaint has been, I suppose you are just what we’ve been needing. Unsurprisingly, it’s difficult to find a truly strong willed Omega. I still have my doubts as to whether you are or not, but you’ve got more spine than any others Jameson ever had.”

“Wait...what…? What are you talking about?” Sulu began, frowning. He did not like where this was going, could feel his heart racing. He took a step back, nerves rising as he heard the hum of the ships engines.

Henry just shrugged, moving away towards a panel, pressing a few buttons. “It was a bit of a rush job, but I’ll go back and clean up the files later, get the appropriate paperwork pushed through. Even if Kirk does ask questions, it won’t matter.”

“And what about the Freedom, my replacement for the Enterprise. That-“ Sulu wanted to growl in frustration as Henry cut him off again.

“I hardly need to explain myself to an Omega. Why don’t you be good and go sit quietly over there.”

Sulu shook his head. “You can’t do this. I am a Starfleet officer, _you_ are a Starfleet officer, you can’t just falsify records like this, you-“  
“Would someone shut the bitch up?” Henry interrupted, turning away abruptly and moving over to the helm. “Honestly, bleeding heart Alpha’s. Filling your head with thoughts and ideas unbecoming an Omega. I’ve always said that Omega’s don’t belong on a starship. Causing trouble everywhere they go, only listen to their Alpha's order. I can't wait til Derrin finishes his work, fixes that little inconvenience.”

Sulu’s mouth closed at that, mind going blank in shock for a moment. He didn’t notice the return of one of the security officers, not until the man had grabbed hold of him, twisting his arms behind him. A second later there was a click, the metal cuffs binding Sulu’s wrists together. The guard dragged him to the side, kicking Sulu’s legs out from under him, forcing him to sit on the ground. Any protests Sulu might have made were quickly silenced by the gag being forced into his mouth, and all he could do was glare angrily at the two of them.

“Only good for breeding and keeping house, it’s what evolution intended. Though I suppose in your case that’s not physically possible.” Henry was still talking, sniffing lightly as he threw a displeased look towards Sulu. “I never saw the appeal in male Omega’s, useless the lot of you. Though I guess for an Alpha, any old Omega will do. Really, Beta's are the only ones with a level head.”

Sulu was pushed back as the security officer turned to take his own station. After a few minutes, the last officer move past him as well to sit down. “We got clearance to leave, and I set the program to clean up behind us. Got word from Jeela at HQ, Kirk’s tryna get in touch with his contacts.”

Henry rolled his eyes, lip curling. “You could use _proper_ English. It isn’t so difficult.” He signed, throwing another irate look towards Sulu. “I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised. With three Alpha’s there, they wouldn’t like seeing their little Omega leave.”

“Jeela’ll keep em busy spinnin their wheels for a while.” The officer assured confidently. “Don’t worry, we’ll be long gone before they get any news.”

“They shouldn’t be getting any news at all if Jerrik does his job right. Now. Contact Derrin.” Henry ordered curtly, already beginning to pilot the shuttle slowly away from the base. “Tell him we’ve got his new Omega, just like he wanted, make sure to inform him he had better be at the coordinates on time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not 100% sure this chapter turned out the way I wanted, but here it is anyways.


	52. It's a Waiting Game

Though it was obvious that their pilot was uneasy about flying the Enterprise unauthorized out of the dock, avoiding the couple of ships that were moving in, she did get them safely out into open space. There was no sign of the ship, so Kirk turned to Spock. “Can you pick up their trail?”

“There are multiple warp signatures in this area, without knowing the exact specifications of the Admiral’s ship, or a more precise time of when it departed, there is no way to tell which one we should follow.” Spock reported after a brief moment studying the data.

“Given the amount of time it took for us to fly out here, and the time between Sulu leaving and us discovering the deception, can you make an educated guess?”

“It is possible. It would be logical to conclude that the more recent signatures have a higher chance of being left by the ship we are attempting to locate. Given the timing, I-“

“Just skip the explanation, Spock, which one should we follow.”

“Admiral Pike is hailing us, sir.” Uhura reported, interrupting the discussion.

Kirk frowned slightly, as he turned her way. This was something he had not been expecting, but he hoped maybe Pike had worked some magic on his end, unlikely as that was. “Keep working on it.” Kirk ordered, glancing back over at Spock briefly. He moved to take as seat in the chair, then glanced at Uhura. “Put him on screen.”

“Captain.” Pike greeted him, tone carefully neutral.

Kirk could tell instantly that something was going on, though he wasn’t sure what it was just yet. “Admiral Henry’s vessel is gone, with Lt. Sulu aboard. So far we have not been able to track where they went.”

“The Admiral’s ship is scheduled to meet with the Andorian trade vessel which will bring Sulu to the USS Freedom that is currently in Ommek quadrant.” Pike expressed, lips pressed into a thin line. “Your current mission is still on schedule. You should depart from Delta 6 as soon as you have resupplied. Additional details regarding the mission and the delay of the arrival of your new pilot will arrive at 0800 tomorrow.”

Kirk let out a low quiet sigh as the screen cut out, Pike ending the call abruptly. Something was definitely going on. 0800 tomorrow. If he understood Pike correctly, then he’d be calling in on a more secure channel at that time, hopefully with information as to what was going on. What he’d said a moment ago sounded like he’d gotten some updated information, that was just as fake as what Admiral Henry had given Kirk.

“Spock, what was the status of the resupply?” He asked, turning his head slightly to look towards his first officer.

“Completed. All supplies are on board, though not distributed appropriately as of this time.” Spock responded evenly.

Kirk nodded and stood up, trying to put as much cheer into his tone as he could. “Good. Then we can go ahead and get on our way. Helm, set a course, heading 226.63 warp 1. We’ve got a new sector to explore. Bridge is yours Commander, I’ve got some ruffled feathers to smooth at the base. Conference room, 0800 tomorrow.” He clapped Chekov on the shoulder, looking down at him with a smile. “You too ensign. Don’t be late.”

The next few hours, Kirk spent a lot of time speaking with the Captain that was in charge at the base. He got a long winded lecture about protocol, and proper procedure, but after many apologies and a convoluted not quite a lie explanation, Kirk finally managed to appease the man. It probably helped that there had been no damages.

Jim spent the next few hours trying, and failing, to get some sleep, then abandoned that endeavor to take a shift on the bridge. He got an update on the status of the supplies (everything had made it to it’s proper place), then spent the rest of the shift going over the mission that they had been assigned. He wasn’t really absorbing any of what he was reading, Kirk had little intention of just abandoning Sulu to his fate and carrying on with life. Yet, he knew he should at least maintain the pretense of following orders.

If nothing else, it passed the time until the briefing was to begin. He put one of the senior lieutenants in charge, then made his way to the briefing room. Unsurprisingly, Chekov was already there, waiting restlessly.

Upon Kirk's arrival, Chekov straightened up and stopped pacing. He gave the captain a small smile. "Hello, seir," he greeted. "I apologize for being so early." He ducked his head for a few moments. Part of the reason he was there before the others was because he couldn't sit still. With Sulu being gone so suddenly, he had a hard time concentrating on his tasks. His mind was constantly wandering, constantly wondering why on earth the pilot had to be transferred so suddenly like that.

Another part was because he was dying to know what was going on and what they were going to do about it. _Something_ was going on, that much was apparent.

Kirk shook his head slightly. “Don’t worry about it. Early is better than late, and I’m sure you’re just as eager as I am to get some answers. Which I really hope Admiral Pike will have for us.”

Chekov nodded, trying to swallow the lump forming in his throat. _Eager was an understatement_. "Vhat if zhere is nozhing ve can do?"

“There’s gotta be something we can do. If Pike can’t give us any answers, we’ll go find our own. I’m not about to just let Sulu vanish off to nowhere.” Kirk assured him firmly, glancing over to see McCoy and Spock approaching. He gave Chekov a short smile, then led the way into the meeting room, gesturing the others to their seat.

After a short moment, Pike appeared on the screen to the side. “Admiral.” Jim greeted him, lifting an eyebrow slightly.

“Jim. I’ve got a secure line on my end, I can presume you have the same?”

Kirk glanced over at Spock briefly, receiving a nod, then turned back to Pike. “Yeah, we’re good here. So what’s going on?”

“I’ve been looking into Sulu’s situation on my end, and I’ve had a lot of pushback over it. Now, apparently, Sulu’s been transferred.” Pike stated. “It’s no coincidence this happened mere days after filing the complaints against Abbey.”

“I had been warned by many of my contacts that retaliation against our inquiries into the Indiana was a possibility.” Spock stated. “It would be a logical conclusion to say that these two things are related.”

“So, we blow the whistle and they cart Sulu off to some deep dark hole, is that what you’re sayin?” McCoy ground out, frowning at the thought.

“Admiral, when I spoke with you yesterday, you told me that Sulu’s file listed him as posted to the Enterprise, that there was no transfer request. So, what happened?”

“I watched the file change. One moment it said Sulu’s assignment was the Enterprise, the next it had his transfer request and approval, new posting listed as the USS Freedom. The only thing out of place is there’s no Alpha he’s paired with.” Pike explained. “Otherwise, the file’s complete. It even has the transfer log of Sulu’s flight on the Admiral’s ship, then the transfer to the Andorian trader, and his scheduled arrival in two day’s time aboard the Freedom.”

“So, what do we do about this? You told us not to pursue the Admiral. Should we try and track him down?” Kirk questioned.

“It is highly unlikely we would be able to locate the Admiral’s vessel any longer.” Spock told him. “Presuming the record is, indeed, false, it is unlikely they will follow that flight path.”

“So, what are we going to do then, just _request_ that they transfer him back?” Kirk scoffed. He already knew that wouldn’t work. It wasn’t like the transfer was on the up and up anyway.

“You’re not going to do anything.” Pike stated.

“What?” Kirk exclaimed, leaning forward. “Not do anything? You can seriously be suggesting we let this go?”

“No, Jim. That’s not what I’m saying. There’s something going on, and the people responsible are high up in the Federation. But this thing has holes all through it, and I’m hoping they don’t realize that right now. Won’t realize it at all if no one points it out to them. You start making a fuss, they’ll start trying harder to cover their tracks. Let them think they’ve won. That you’ve accepted the council orders and accepted that Sulu’s being reassigned.” Pike instructed, letting out a sigh. “The charges were brought up by you. You’re the ones they’ll be keeping an eye on. Which leaves me free to poke at the holes, try and trace them back to the ones responsible.”

“And until then…?” Kirk prompted. He didn’t like this idea on bit, and going by the expression on Chekov and McCoy’s faces, they didn’t like it either. They were supposed to just carry on like nothing was wrong, while god knew what was happening to Sulu?

“Until then, just follow orders. The Council assigned you a mission. Complete it, and continue on your way. If you can find an excuse, a _believable_ one, to make your way back towards earth, do it. I’ll be gathering supporters while searching for where they’ve taken Sulu. I’ll be in touch as soon as I find anything out.”


	53. Plans and Demonstrations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: A whole lot of dehumanization in this chapter. So, yeah. Just... yeah.

Hikaru had never though, never fathomed, that there could be anything worse than the life he’d lived with Jameson. It had been never ending fear, pain, and punishments for things he hadn’t even known he’d done wrong. But this place… it was all of those and more.

He couldn’t even pretend that things were okay, that things would get better. There was no work to distract him, no shifts on duty to pull him away from the pain and misery, and no hope that maybe he could do something right to stop the pain. Just these four brilliant white walls, the endless torment from the guards or trainers or scientist, whoever they were. The days all bled together. It was hard to keep track of time, of how often they brought him out to drug him, test him, try and make him obey.

He resisted, of course, even the most basic things they ordered him to do he tried to refuse. The more time that passed, the harder it became. He felt like he was in a permanent state of limbo. He constantly felt like he was freefalling, head spinning and pounding as he tried to defy what the Beta’s ordered him to do. He could no longer even think of defying an Alpha.

He had no idea how long he’d been there when Derrin came for him. He’d met the man only once before, when he’d first arrived.

The Alpha was a business man, some higher up for some corporation that dealt in medicine or some such thing. Sulu knew only a limited amount about the company. To be honest, at this point, he didn’t really care. Derrin had come to his cell, ordered him to follow, and started walking without another word.

Sulu obeyed, of course. He couldn’t do otherwise. He felt dull and mindless as he fell into step behind the Alpha.

Derrin stopped outside a conference room, turning cold eyes onto Sulu. He reached over, gripping the pilot’s shirt collar and tugging him sharply closer. “You are to be silent. Obey every order, do not even consider disobedience. Let them do as they please, and you _enjoy_ it Omega. Do _not_ embarrass me here, do you understand?” He snarled, tone full of Alpha authority.

Hikaru nodded dumbly. Hard as he tried, he couldn’t do anything but obey, couldn’t even make a sound of discomfort at the tight grip the Alpha had on his collar. Everything was numb and cold, but sharply in focus.

“Good.” Derrin snapped, releasing Hikaru. “Now, Heel.”

Sulu didn’t want to go into this room, was terrified of what would be waiting him, but his feet moved him forward at the Alpha’s order, keeping him in step beside the man, at his heel like a pet.

“Ladies and Gentlemen.” Derrin greet the small group gathered, smiling widely as he came to a stop. “As you know, this is much more than just a final status meet. I’ve glad you could make it to the complex for this demonstration.”

There were eight guests in total, six of them Alpha’s. The room Derrin had for this meeting held a conference table large enough for the group and no more. To the side was an empty area for the demonstration. Derrin moved forward, motioning them to the table. “Please, have a seat. I’ll not waste any more of your valuable time. Let us begin, shall we?”

He moved over to the head of the table, pausing at the corner and tossing a glance at Sulu. “Stay.” Leaving the Omega there, he walked to activate the monitor, pulling up the data and results of their work at the compound.

“Just a short recap, then we’ll move on to what you really want to see.” Derrin explained. “You all know we’ve been researching Omega’s and their instincts. We were missing something, and two weeks ago, we obtained the test subject to perfect our formula. As of today, the compound we’ve synthesized is fully operational. We have all but completed manufacturing the quantity required and will be ready to ship it out within the week.”

Sulu lost track of what else Derrin was saying, unable to keep track of it or the specifics he left out that were doubtless being shown on the screen. Sulu kept his eyes trained on the floor, however, because that’s what Derrin expected. Derrin had told him not to embarrass him, not to even think of disobeying, and that included looking up when he knew he wasn’t supposed to.

Even so, he did try to pay attention. This was probably going to be his only opportunity to find out just what they were doing here, why they were doing it. It was hard to think though, hard to concentrate past the orders of ‘stay.’

“Now that we’ve got that bit of news out of the way, let me show you the results of our work.” Derrin finished, moving past Sulu with a click of his fingers. “Come, Omega.” He motioned for the guests to follow as well, leading Sulu to the center of the empty space. “On your knees. Be still.”

Derrin looked at the group as Sulu went down, smiling at them politely. “I think the results speak for themselves. Even the most headstrong Omega will listen to commands.” He circled around the Omega, trailing a hand along his shoulders.

Sulu would have shuddered, if he could have moved. But even that small motion was denied hm. He could only obey. The Alpha had ordered him to _be still_ , so Hikaru remained motionless on his knees.

“He’s perfectly obedient. You could take him to the middle of a council session and use him however you wanted and he wouldn’t protest. The compulsion to obey and submit only gets stronger when the Omega is Bonded to the one giving the orders. But even without that, you’ll see how easy it is to have complete control over the Omega.” Derrin explained, moving infront of Hikaru. He glanced at the Omega, trailing a hand to his mouth, thumb on Sulu’s lip. Two curt orders had Hikaru sucking on two of his fingers.

After a moment, Derrin moved toward the audience. “See? The Omega will follow any order. Go ahead, try it out yourself. It’s a demonstration, isn’t it?” He watched the group move forward, lifting an eyebrow at the one that remained behind. “Ah, Commander Conrad. Wouldn’t you like to test our progress yourself?”

Conrad cast a glance at the proceeding, then looked back at Derrin. “That presentation was fascinating, really, and I suppose you want some congratulations.” He drawled, glancing over at the others. One of them had grabbed Sulu’s hair, tilting his head back. The Omega had a glazed look in his eyes and was staying still as ordered, though he was near panting in obvious fear. “But on any given day a strong-willed Alpha can do the same thing, _without_ this concoction of yours. What the hell makes this so great?”

“Because it doesn’t only ensure obedience to Alpha’s.” Derrin reiterated, keeping any annoyance from his tone. He’d gone over this point in the presentation, albeit briefly. “Under the influence of the compound, an Omega will instantly obey the orders of a Beta too.”

“So far as I’ve heard, there’s been more than one problem on that front.”

“I will admit, we have had some… problems, with consistency regard results.” Derrin hedged, unwilling to outright say that they were still unable to make that part of it work every time. “Most of our subjects respond appropriately, each time, yet some seem to have stronger abilities to resist. We are still perfecting the formula. However, it still performs well enough for us to move forward.”

“And you’re certain it will work?” Conrad asked after a moment contemplation. “We don’t want to have come this far just for your promises to fall short.”

“I assure, everything will go according to plan. While it is impossible to estimate losses with complete accuracy, this drug will have the desired effect. By the time we’ve finished, the Federation Council will have no choice but to bar Omega’s from joining the fleet. They’ll be regulated back to civilian life where they belong.”

Derrin glanced over at a pained yelp, watching for a moment as one of the guests pressed a foot into Sulu’s back, the Omega sprawled face down on the floor. He’d have to have that looked into and corrected after this was over, he’d instructed the Omega to remain silent. Disinterested, he turned back to his own conversation. “We are still on schedule to begin as soon as the shipment goes out. The Federation may lose a few hundred officers, perhaps some ships and an alliance or two, but we’ll have delivered the message clearly. Omega’s are too weak and susceptible to be trusted. Alpha’s should be the ones in power, as evolution intended.”

“Good. It better work. It’s been an impossible battle against the softhearted Omega supporters. Idiots don’t know one day their naivety will be the downfall of the Federation.” He shook his head, scowling. He hardly cared about the pecking order of Alpha’s and Omega’s, though he knew that was what this group’s main purpose was about. Rather, he was more concerned about how easy an Omega could be manipulated when unbonded, and feared how such a weakness could be used against humanity.

“Just take a look.” He told him lightly, turning slightly to gesture towards Sulu and the other guests. “I’ve instructed him to stay still and silent, let anyone do as they wish to his body. See how he obeys?” He smirked, turning his gaze back to the guest. “And he is the most resistant of subjects we have. Give us time. Soon we will have the Omega pliant and obedient even to Beta orders. After the tragedy we have planned, all carefully calculated of course, I give it at most six months before all Omega’s are discharged from the fleet. Or at the very least, have their clearance limit or restricted.”

“And that nonsense about rights violations? That hasn’t caused any delays with the shipment, has it?”

Derrin lifted an eyebrow. “Ah, I see you heard about that. I assure you it’s been taken care of. Unfortunately, even those is agreement with our cause and way of thinking can sometimes be a hindrance. Admiral Jerrik should have the problem dealt with by now.” In all honesty, once he’d received Hikaru, he hadn’t paid much attention to how the issue was being handled. He disliked bureaucracy, especially that which involved the dusty old senate of the Federation council. “Either way, within a week’s time it will be forgotten.”


	54. Cleansing the Rot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Bit of noncon near the middle. It's not marked, sorry, but it's nothing extremely graphic. Just wanted to warn you it was there.

Everything hurt, his back, his legs, his ribs, his chest. Everything. His arms and shoulders ached from being bound behind him for too long. What ever drug it was they’d given him didn’t dull the pain, only made his mind slightly numb, like looking through a thick fog. For all that it made the orders of the Beta’s hard to defy, and made it completely impossible to argue with an Alpha, the drug still couldn’t completely fool his body into responding to the Beta’s like they wanted.

He wasn’t sure exactly what it was he’d done wrong, but something had angered Derrin following that meeting. Hikaru had no idea how it could have been him. It had been impossible to even begin to fight against the orders he’d been given, not when he’d been drugged so recently beforehand. Yet, somehow, he must have. Derrin had given him to the team with some comment about disobedience, and they’d set about attempting to correct that. For Sulu, that had meant a hell of a lot of pain.

Derrin had stayed for a while to watch, speaking on a comm with some Starfleet officer. Sulu hadn’t thought it possible, but that one fact somehow made it all worse. Knowing that someone from the Federation was listening to him scream, knew what was happening.

By the time they’d finished with him, Hikaru had been a shivering wreck, would have been begging for mercy if they hadn’t have gagged him. Even though the group of ‘trainers’ had all been Beta, and he could have at least _tried_ to defy them even through the fresh injection they had given him at the end, he still listened when they ordered him to heel. A part of him had felt ashamed, weak and pathetic at how he walked like a tamed dog at their heel, letting them shove him into his cell without any protest. He simply couldn’t see any point in antagonizing them right now.

He’d forced himself to move to the opposite side of the room from the door before collapsing onto the ground, curling up as best he could, staring dully at the white floor and walls. It was so hard not to see this as sanctioned by the Federation, not when so many of his tormentors wore the Federation uniform.

He tried not to think of it that way, choosing instead to view it more like the time he’d spent captive on that one planet. He knew if he didn’t, he really would break. His mind and soul would shatter at the undeniable fact that this time there was no rescue, no reprieve from this. When they were done taking him apart, they would just give him to another Alpha as little more than a toy, a bitch to take their anger and frustration out on.

He closed his eyes, taking in a slow breath as the door to his cell opened, heart skipping and racing in response. He couldn’t stop his body’s reaction to the scent of Alpha, a low whine making it’s way up his throat, muffled by the leather in his mouth. He knew the Alpha was going to want something, want him to crawl over and be an obedient omega. Sulu knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the Alpha’s command, not like this. Not with this drug making his mind hazy, making every pounding beat of his heart agony, the adrenaline running through his veins like fire.

The Alpha didn’t bother issuing any orders, simply striding across the short room and reaching down to grab Sulu’s hair, dragging him away from the wall he lay against. The Alpha chuckled lowly at the pained cry Sulu let out, dropping him in the middle of the room and rolling him on his back. Sulu groaned, pain flaring in his arms and shoulders, worsened when the Alpha straddled him moments later.

Sulu cringed, squeezing his eyes closed and turning his head at the feeling of the Alpha’s hand crawling under his shirt, stroking his chest. The Alpha growled, fingers digging painfully into Sulu’s skin, other hand going to grab Hikaru’s chin and turning his head. “You look at me bitch. I want to see your eyes, see you feel every inch of this.” He snarled the order, rutting against Sulu roughly, cruel smile twisting his face.

He couldn’t defy the order, opening his eyes and meeting the Alpha’s gaze with a choked sob. The Alpha laughed again. “That’s right bitch, you just keep your eyes on me.” The man growled.  
Sulu wanted to look away, didn’t want to see, to feel, what this Alpha was about to do. This wasn’t the first time this had happened here, likely wouldn’t be the last. Not in this never-ending nightmare. He couldn’t fight back; couldn’t even offer a token protest with the drugs they gave him.

He shuddered, breath hitching in pain as the Alpha none to gently explored his body with his hands. He could feel the man’s hard length against his abdomen, the feeling making it hard for him to breath, fear closing his throat.

The Alpha’s gaze was hungry as he grabbed a handful of Sulu’s hair, pulling his head to the side and leaning down to lick and bite at Hikaru’s throat. Sulu made a feeble noise of fear, panic clawing at his chest. The Alpha laughed lowly, breathing in the scent deeply. “Too bad we’re not allowed to mark you. Not yet anyway. For now I’ll have to settle for what fun I can get from the rest of you. Tell ya what. If you make it real good, be a good little bitch, maybe I’ll let you suck me off after I’m done.”

Sulu huffed out a panicked breath, shuddering and flinching back as the Alpha straightened, pinning Sulu in place with a heavy hand on his chest. “Now stay still, Omega.”

Hikaru went still at the order, for all that his mind was screaming, begging him to move, get away, anything. He couldn’t defy him, couldn’t get his body to move, forced to keep eye contact with the Alpha as he began to move lower, lecherous grin in place. The grin faded away as his comm chirped, and he straightened, pulling flipping open with a curt “what?”

Sulu missed what was said next, the pounding of his heart and the dull buzz in his ears washed out what was said over the radio. He flinched as the Alpha stood up, cringing in on himself as the man stepped over him and left the room without a backward glance.

Hikaru was still for a long moment, terrified and shivering, watching the door in case the Alpha returned. After a bit, Sulu slid himself along the floor, pressing himself against the wall in some feeble attempt to feel safe and secure. The Alpha would be back, would continue where he’d left off. It was almost worse, knowing what was coming, what was going to be done to him, having to wait and wallow in the fear and dread.

Sulu wasn’t sure how much time had passed when someone came back to his cell. Honestly, he didn’t know how much time had passed since he’d been brought here at all. Days at least, but beyond that he wasn’t sure. He cringed back as the door opened, flinching in fear. He glanced over the man that entered quickly before dropping his gaze obediently to the floor. He didn’t recognize him, something that was both terrifying and relieving. At least it wasn’t that Alpha come back to finish what he’d started. Hikaru wasn’t sure from this distance whether this man was Beta or Alpha, but going by the soft grey uniform, he was certainly a Starfleet officer, and highly ranked going by the bars on that uniform.

Hikaru pressed closer to the wall he was curled against as the man moved forward. The man had a gentle expression, coming to a stop midway into the room and crouching down to look at Sulu. “It’s alright son, I won’t hurt you. My name is Admiral Christopher Pike.”

Bound and gagged as he was, Sulu couldn’t answer. Not that he would have had anything to say, or would have even been able to string two words together. The drug had begun to wear off, giving him a bit of a clearer head, but he could still feel it’s effects. Hikaru could tell now that the man was Beta, not that it mattered. The Beta’s here hurt him just as much, if not more sometimes, than the Alpha’s who visited him. And he knew better than to believe Pike meant he wasn’t going to cause him pain. None of the one’s here considered what they were doing to be hurting Sulu. He’d been told more than once that it was for his own good, that it was _training_.

Maybe this was a test then? Admiral Pike might be here to determine if he was well trained enough to go back into the fleet, put him with another Alpha. Sulu had no desire to be under an Alpha again, risk being forced to Bond with one, but he’d play along and do basically anything to get out of this hell hole here, preferably before that other Alpha returned. As soon as he had the opportunity, he’d try and go his own way. Going AWOL was pretty much a guarantee he would never fly a starship again, but it was better than _this_.

Sulu turned away from the wall to face Pike straight, eyes down. He flinched back when Pike reached for him, unable to stop himself.

“It’s alright, I’m just going to take these off.” Pike spoke gently, unclasping the buckle holding the gag in place and removing it completely.

Sulu’s stomach tightened with dread, knowing this meant one of two things. They generally kept him gagged unless they wanted to hear him scream or wanted him to please them. Seeing as the Admiral hadn’t brought any tools with him, Sulu figured he was expected to pleasure the man. He shuddered but didn’t move back. He could do this, one last time, and then maybe he’d be out of here.

He closed his eyes, bracing himself as Pike leaned over him, only to be surprised by the Admiral releasing his tied hands. He straightened up, eying the man warily as he pulled back as well. Just what the hell was going on?

Sulu jerked back as another man entered the room, gaze flickering between Pike’s unworried expression and the newcomer.

“Admiral, we’ve secured the complex and the Enterprise is approaching the planet. She’ll be here in ten minutes.”

Pike gave a soft sort of scoff. “Trust Kirk to be late to his own party. Tell them to send McCoy down when they get here. I don’t know what drug they’ve given the prisoners and we’ll need his expertise to deal with it. Tell em I found their missing pilot as well.”

Sulu blinked, feeling stupid for how hard it was to reconcile those words with the situation he was in. He watched as the other officer nodded then left, before turning his attention to Pike briefly. The drug made it hard to concentrate, hard to keep himself in the present and aware, and he ended up dropping his gaze quickly.

He lost track of time again, hating the gratitude he felt that Pike didn’t try and make him talk, didn’t give him any orders. He was so tired, he wasn’t sure he’d have been able to put up much of a fight. When McCoy arrived, rationally he recognized the man and a part of him knew the doctor was there to help. The rest of him only knew that here was an Alpha, and he whined softly, shrinking back as McCoy came forward. He froze when he caught sight of Chekov coming in half a step behind the doctor.

Sulu shifted forward a bit, then stopped, wanting to go to Chekov, to someone that he knew was safe. He was afraid though, of the other two and of what they wanted. He was caught between the instinct that they would be upset if he went to Chekov, and the rational reason that they wouldn’t. It was so hard to fight against the drug and what they’d been beating into him here though, to fight against the instinct that told him to go to Alpha, kneel at his feet.

He was relieved when the decision was taken from him, McCoy and Chekov both coming over to him, Pavel moving so far as to kneel beside him. Sulu eyed McCoy and Pike warily, but he couldn’t resist the promise of safety, of a touch that wasn’t going to bring pain or become too invasive. As soon as Chekov knelt beside him, Sulu shifted closer, pressing into the Russian’s side. He flinched as McCoy made a motion with his hand, curling closer to Pavel as the navigator settled onto the floor.

“Don’t vorry, McCoy von’t hurt you Karu.” Chekov assured him, slipping an arm over Sulu’s shoulder.

It wasn’t an order, not really, but Sulu could pretend that it was, could let the drug force his body to relax, going limp against Chekov. He was so tired. So tired of fighting every impulse, every reaction he didn’t want to have. Chekov was safe, was family. Chekov said not to worry about McCoy, and even though his body still shivered in fear at the closeness of the Alpha, he let his eyes close, letting go and doing his best to just relax against Chekov.


	55. More Questions than Answers

_"I vant to be on zhe team to go find Sulu.”_

_Chekov heard Kirk sigh and was fully expecting to have to fight, but to his surprise the captain simply waved a hand and said no more._

~~

Chekov stepped onto the beaming pads with squared shoulders, off the ship in a matter of seconds. The first thing he was aware of was the smell. It wasn't terrible, but definitely not something he ever wanted to smell again. It was a mixture of strong drugs and disinfectant. Similar to a hospital, but worse. There was something in the air that he couldn't place. Didn't _want_ to place.

Chekov followed as close behind McCoy as he dared. He had to see Sulu, Sulu had to see him. His step faltered somewhat when he finally caught sight of the Asian. He looked so pale and so scared. Too similar to the days on the Indiana, only much worse.

He hurried over, ignoring the warning gaze Pike gave him when he knelt down beside Sulu. Almost instantly the pilot clung to him, Pavel's heart breaking simultaneously. He murmured assurances, curling close to Hikaru but still giving the doctor room to work. He could too easily feel the shudders wracking the young man's body. Flashbacks to nights on the ship jumped forward. Nights when there was little to no hope and the only thing he could do was try his best to comfort Sulu. The heartbreak he had felt when Hikaru started to slowly reject him.

Chekov had to take a deep breath to keep the stinging tears at bay. He couldn't imagine how someone could destroy another human being. He couldn't imagine what it was like to be destroyed. Twice, for that matter.

The Russian buried his face in Sulu's hair, hoping to catch his scent from when things were good. When they were on the Enterprise and he was so much better. It was so hard to keep it together now, so very hard to stay strong. But he had to. If Sulu was going to get better, he had to stay strong. Stay strong for Karu.

McCoy had agreed to have Chekov go down with the doctor to find Sulu, if for nothing else than a familiar face might make the Omega more at ease, but it didn’t seem to be working. Sulu was still shivering, trembling really.

Leonard frowned, reaching forward to check Hikaru’s pulse though he pulled back quickly when Sulu tried to jerk away. The pilot didn’t have much space to move, as tightly as he pressed himself into Chekov, but he tried to curl away from McCoy, blinking his eyes open to look hazily at the doctor.

McCoy clenched his teeth to keep from cursing, silently berating himself as he pulled out the scanner. He’d hoped that all the progress they’d made wouldn’t have been undone, was still holding out that maybe the pilot’s reaction was due to the drugs. The scan’s readout worried him, but he didn’t want to risk giving Sulu any sedatives until he knew what exactly it was they’d been drugging the Omega’s with here.

“You got anything to treat them with Doc?” Pike asked.

McCoy shook his head. “No. Thanks to your little informant, we know what the drugs are supposed to do, and that they apparently work effectively. But without knowing the chemical make-up, I couldn’t synthesize an antidote. We’ll be able to change that now that we have the drug. Unfortunately, Sulu and the other Omega’s they had held here will probably just have to wait until it leaves their system.” He hoped that it wouldn’t take too long for that to happen. Of course, he’d try his best to get a treatment ready before then, but realistically he knew it wouldn’t be so quick and easy.

Sulu’s gaze was flickering between McCoy and Pike, though Leonard noted there was a faraway look to the pilot’s eyes, and he was certain they were probably confusing the hell outta him. McCoy glanced up at Chekov briefly. “C’mon. Let’s get him to sickbay. I can at least treat his injuries.”

Chekov bit his tongue, carefully helping Sulu to his feet. He hadn’t been privy to the meeting in which they’d explained what, exactly, had been going on in this complex. It was easy to gather they’d drugged Sulu with something, and the doctor didn’t know what it was. Even still, it hurt to hear the frightened whine from his friend when McCoy moved in to help him walk, though Sulu didn’t offer any resistance.

“Vhat does eet do? Zhe drug, I mean.” Chekov asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

“Long story short, it takes away an Omega’s free will.” Pike answered, following alongside the others. “Under the right circumstances, most Alphas could do that anyway, but this drug is supposed to make it so they’ll follow any orders, from anyone.”

Chekov nodded silently, almost regretting having asked. He couldn’t image what that was like, to have absolutely no control. He hoped Sulu would be alright. He knew his friend was strong, but hearing all that, knowing there was probably more he didn’t know, didn’t want to know, it was hard to stay positive.

The rest of the trip to sickbay was quiet, Chekov lost in his own thoughts and worries. He was surprised at the level of chaos in the medical bay once the doors opened. His shock must have shown on his face, because a moment later McCoy was explaining.

“We’re taking care of the injured Starfleet officers; Pike’s men are handling any prisoners. We don’t want to put any more stress on the Omega’s we found.”

“Speaking of which, I’ll leave you here.” Pike stated, stopping at the door to sickbay. “I’ll let Kirk know you three are back on board. We’ll be handling the rest of the cleanup, and we’ll get the records from the compound to you as soon as we get our hands on them.”

McCoy nodded to him, not sparing him much more thought as he continued forward. “C’mon.” He told Chekov, indicating a bed further from the chaos of the main room. Sulu balked initially, but obediently moved to sit down when McCoy instructed him, much as the doctor hated having to do so. He didn’t have much choice, not if he didn’t want to have an uncooperative patient.

The doctor had to work around Chekov as he set about scanning and treating Sulu’s injuries. Hikaru didn’t look like he was going to let go of the Russian anytime soon, and Chekov seemed to be of the same mind. So, Leonard worked around them, lips pressed in a tight line as he did so.

Once he was done, McCoy put away the scanner and tools, then moved over to drag a chair closer to the bed and pushed Chekov down in it. “Lucky for you, we’re a little shorthanded at the moment, so you’ll have to keep an eye on Sulu. Anything changed, even _looks_ like somethings up, you get a nurse. He should be fine for now, hopefully we’ll get something fixed up to counteract the drug. Until then, careful what you say to him, and if anyone comes in here barking orders, don’t ask questions, just toss em out.”

Chekov nodded, though the doctor had already turned to leave. He was glad he wouldn’t have to be fighting to stay by Sulu’s side, though he wished it weren’t because they were short-handed. He glanced over as Sulu, wondering what to do. Hikaru was simply sitting, staring listlessly into nothing. He didn’t want to suggest he lay down, worried that he would be forcing his friend to do what he said, and he didn’t want that.

For a while, he sat in silence, just wanting to be there for his friend. But he couldn’t stop his mind racing, imagining what Hikaru had been going through. He’d been down there for so long, too long. It didn’t take long for it to become unbearable. So, he started talking, telling Sulu stories about the good times at the Academy.

He was used to repeating the same stories over and over, he’d done it on the Indiana many times. And here, if he were honest. He’d told these stories time and again to the crew here. This time, he hoped that maybe hearing about those good times would help Sulu somehow. He was careful to watch Sulu for any changes, though as time dragged on he got more wrapped up in the stories. It was so easy to get lost in the old days back at the academy.

Sulu wasn’t sure how much time had passed, he only knew that his head felt clearer every minute that went by. If it were minutes. It might have been hours for all he knew. Still, he could think now. That was, unfortunately, the only good thing so far. He’d hoped that he’d start feeling like himself once the drug wore off, but currently he was anything but himself. He almost didn’t notice it at first, the small shivers, the ache in his body, but as his mind began to clear, he realized something was wrong.

Hikaru ignored it though. He ignored it in favor of listening to Chekov, the young beta was filling the silence with meaningless stories of better times. He ignored the pounding headache that slowly grew, the twisted nausea in his stomach, the aching in his bones. He ignored the shivers that grew into tremors, clenching his teeth to keep them from chattering. He ignored it until he couldn’t.

He drew in a shaky breath, gaining Chekov immediate and undivided attention, and looked up at his friend with a small smile. “H-hey, Pav. I-I don’t feel so hot.”

Chekov let out a small Russian curse, brow furrowing worriedly. “Karu, I’m so sorry, I should hawe noticed!” He moved closer, eyes flickering over Sulu’s shiver form, the cold sweat on his forehead. His heart twisted with guilt. He should have been paying closer attention, and for the first hour or so, he had, but then he’d gotten caught up in his own memories.

Sulu shook his head, trying for a smile as he began to speak, but whatever he might have said was cut off by the hard shiver that ran through him. It lasted far too long, leaving him breathing too quickly, almost panting.

“You should lay down.” Chekov advised, already well on the way to panicking. “I’ll go get zhe doctor, alvight? Just hang on…”

Sulu blinked, feeling slugging and sick, as Chekov hurried out. He didn’t feel compelled to obey, but the option of lying down sounded like a good one, and before he knew it he was staring up at the ceiling. The shivering came back, this time not stopping, and he curled in on himself as the shaking grew worse.


	56. Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter, but I wasn't expecting to have an opportunity to finish this chapter until the end of the school semester, so something is better than nothing. Right?

McCoy would have loved to have gone straight from settling Sulu to beginning the research into what the Omegas had been given. Unfortunately, that was not the case. It was a whirlwind of activity in medbay, and several hours later found McCoy at his desk attempting to get through the numerous patient charts lying there.

Leonard glanced up at the sound of footsteps, scowl already in place. He did not need any more bad news. He lifted his eyebrow at the unphased expression of Nurse Chapel’s face. “What now?” 

“I have the results of the drug. Adams has the amount each of the four patients were being given in the report, as well as the individual components it was comprised of. He’s running test to come up with a counter agent.” Chapel said, voice sounding tired as she lay the data PADD in front of McCoy.

Leonard couldn’t blame her, he was tired as well. No sooner had they gotten the worst of the injuries treated than Pike’s men had shown up with the test records and drug samples from the compound. 

“I’ll look em over, see if there’s anything to help our patient’s out in the meantime.” McCoy promised, pulling the PADD closer and activating it. McCoy had needed to delegate Adam’s to beginning the research into the drug, he’d been a bit busy with a delicate surgery, but he was eager to dig into it himself. He wanted to know just what those bastards had been doing, and how he could put it right.

Looking at the schedule, it seemed Sulu’d been the most recently drugged, which meant he’d take the longest for it to wear off. That gave him a baseline for how potent the effects of the drug were. He’d seen firsthand how an Omega behaved on the compound. By the time they’d gotten to Sulu, it had only been a few hours since he’d been injected.

The young female Omega had gone without the longest. He’d need to order some blood drawn, maybe they could see how her body was breaking it down, speed up the process in the others. Adam’s should have done that in the beginning, but McCoy didn’t see anywhere in the report where that had been done. 

McCoy frowned as he scrolled down, leaning forward to read over the list of components in the compound. Taken together, these looked a whole hellauva lot like…

“Doctor!” McCoy looked up as one of the junior nurses burst in, eyes wide. “Patient’s two and three’s vitals are deteriorating, and patient one just started convulsing.”

McCoy curse, bolting up to follow her out. “What bout patient four?” 

“No reports of anything abnormal so far, sir.” 

McCoy knew that probably wouldn’t last, but hopefully he’d have time to get the condition of the other three stabilized before anything happened to the pilot. He hurried over to the first patient, the young female surrounded by his medical team trying to keep her steady. He scanned over the readout, preparing a hypo and injecting her quickly. 

He cursed under his breath when it was ineffective. The girl’s condition was only going downhill, and he could hear one of the other patients following suite. Of course, he knew one quick way to stabilize them, but it would be counterproductive to what they were trying to do and he knew in one case it would do a hell of a lot of damage to what little trust there was. 

Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to find a different option. If he didn’t act fast he was going to have a corpse in place of a patient. He dashed over to grab the compound they’d brought aboard for testing, prepping four hypo’s with it and tossing two to one of the senior medics. “Delgato. Give 4cc’s to patient two, monitor him and if he doesn’t respond increase the dosage. Treat patient three the same, starting at 8cc’s.” He ordered, pulling from what he knew the two had been dosed with at the compound and lowering it. He might be forced to re-administer the drug to keep them alive, but he’d at least get a start on weaning them off of it. 

He stayed with the young female long enough to ensure she was somewhat stable, then left her in the hands of his team to head towards Sulu. He waved a nurse and medic to follow, breaking into a jog once he saw Chekov coming his way. If Chekov was leaving Sulu, it was probably bad news. 

Sulu was shaking hard, well on his way to convulsions, when McCoy and the others walked in. Hikaru tensed, eyes flickering between the three blue shirt crewmen, then dropped to the hypo in McCoy’s hand. Even without asking, he knew what it was. The guards in that compound had come almost like clockwork to drug him after all. Seeing McCoy here for that same reason hurt, a sense of betrayal cutting through him. 

“No.” Sulu protested, getting shakily to his feet. He could see where this was going and he wasn’t about to take that here. It was supposed to be over, done. He didn’t care that he was nauseous, that his whole body ached and his head was pounding. He didn’t want those doctors, that Alpha, anywhere near him. Desperately, he lunged toward the door, making a break for it.

Fortunately, McCoy and the medic had the benefit of not being strung out, dazed, and confused, and were easily able to stop Sulu. Most _unfortunately_ , this was initially accomplished by the medic jumping forward to meet Sulu halfway, effectively tackling him to the ground. McCoy swore, rushing forward to help while the nurse hung back, keeping Chekov from joining the fray when the Russian followed the team back into the room.

“Get the hell off of me, you son of a bitch!” Sulu snarled, fighting to get out from under the medic. 

McCoy was beside them quickly, helping to keep Sulu still so that the medic could shift his weight, only half laying on Sulu instead of completely covering him. “Damn it, we’re tryin’ to help you, hold still!” McCoy ordered, the demand coming out by habit. He adjusted the hypo as Hikaru began almost hyperventilating, injecting the pilot quickly when he stilled momentarily. 

It was a long moment before the tension began to bleed out of Sulu, the shaking that underlay his struggle for freedom subsiding slowly. McCoy shifted so that he was kneeling next to Sulu, instead pinning him down, and nodded to the medic to step back. Hikaru didn’t look like he was a deep down as when they’d first found him, but he certainly wasn’t completely present anymore.

McCoy kept one hand on Sulu’s shoulder, keeping him still easily through the pilot’s last meager attempts to fight back. He ran a hand soothingly through Sulu’s hair, muttering a soft apology. “Sorry Sulu. I know it ain’t ideal, but we’ll get you back to your old self soon.”

He could see the struggle going on in Hikaru’s mind, though McCoy wasn’t sure just how much of what he’d said had gotten through. After a moment, Sulu relaxed completely, looking away submissively. “Easy, kid. Listen, you just hang out here, no one’ll hurta ya.” McCoy assured, seeing the slight fear in the Omega’s eyes. He continued once Sulu glanced back up at him. “You need anything, feel off at all, you just tug on Chekov here. He’s gonna stay with ya.” 

As if Leonard would have been able to convince the Russian to leave anyway. He helped Sulu to his feet with the medic’s help, guiding him back to the biobed and getting him to lie down. McCoy stepped away from Sulu once the Omega closed his eyes, though he knew better than to think he was asleep, and turned to one pale and anxious navigator. 

“He’ll be fine for now. He’s not unconscious. I still don’t trust giving him a sedative right now. No way to know how it would react with that drug. You just keep an eye on him, let me know if anything else happens. What they were dosing the Omega’s with is a whole lot like a narcotic. The other’s we found down there have been having the same kinda reaction.”

Chekov nodded, glancing over at Sulu. He was relieved that his friend was okay, looked peaceful even. He bit his tongue as what McCoy’d said sunk in. “So, vhat you gawe him…”

“More of that drug, yeah. It might look like he’s out, and it does mimic a sedative somewhat, but it ain’t. Trust me. If I’d have had any other option, I’d have done that. There wasn’t time to find something better. We already nearly lost one of the other Omega’s thanks to this thing.” McCoy explained, sighing as he glanced over at his team still gathered around the aforementioned patient. “We’re still working on a treatment. Just keep an eye on Sulu. We got our hands full with the one’s we rescued, and the injuries our people sustained while taking the complex, not to mention researching to find that treatment.” 

McCoy shook his head, letting out a low sigh. It went against his instincts to just leave Sulu like this, but he supposed that was entirely the point. The one’s behind the development of the drug had based it off of instincts. “He should be fine for now. Go on.” McCoy told Chekov, nodding towards Sulu. “If anything else happens, grab the closest doctor.”

It didn’t take any more persuading to get Chekov to go, especially not when Sulu let out an anxious noise. McCoy watched them for a moment before turning away. He had a lot of work ahead of him.


	57. Inbetween Times

Chekov hesitantly sat on a chair next to Sulu's bed, rolling as close as he possibly could. Chekov didn’t dare take his eyes off Sulu, guilt twisting at his stomach. He knew it was the drugs, but it worried him that Hikaru didn’t even look at him, didn’t react to how Pavel sat down as close to the bed as he could. Chekov hoped that his presence somehow helped, made Sulu more comfortable, but he still felt so useless. 

Hesitantly, he gently started to pet the pilot's hair, just like old times. Times before all of this happened and Hikaru was happy. No, when _everyone_ was happy. 

Pavel felt so guilty. If he hadn't been retelling stories, maybe this wouldn't have happened. He should have seen Sulu start to go downhill and called a doctor over right away. He looked down at the Asian's face. If it weren't for the glazed eyes he would have looked almost peaceful. A narcotic... So they had been messing with his brain. Chekov wondered exactly how bad it was. He almost didn't want to know, but could certainly guess that this wasn't the extent of it. Flashes of how they found Sulu down on the planet went through his mind. He shuddered, trying to get rid of them. 

"Zhey vill not hurt you again," he whispered. He knew he really shouldn't make a promise like that, but he was determined to do everything in his power to keep Sulu safe. "Newer again." 

Chekov smiled reassuringly when Sulu turned slowly to look at him at the words, eyes nervous and questioning. “Все нормально.” He murmured quietly, leaning forward to rest against the bed, keeping contact with his friend. If it made Karu nervous being talked to, Chekov would be quiet. He’d sit here in silence for as long as it took.

After a while, the nervous tension eased and Sulu closed his eyes, breath smoothing into an easy rhythm Chekov could easily recognize as sleep. Chekov stayed where he was, unwilling to move away. He told himself it was because he didn’t want to startle Sulu, or wake him by moving. Really though, Pavel wanted that assurance that his best friend was going to be okay, needed the contact to remind him that Sulu was here, was safe. 

Chekov didn’t know how long he sat like that, only that his back was stiff from being curled over. He welcomed the discomfort, it kept him awake. He jumped slightly at the sound of a light tap, looking over quickly to see Kirk standing in the doorway. “Keptain.” He spoke quietly, tone surprised. He hadn’t expected to see Kirk here.

“Hey Chekov.” Jim greeted him, voice low so not to disturb Sulu. “Just got finished going over McCoy’s report, figured I’d come down and check on everyone while I had a spare moment.” He’d stopped by to see McCoy first, but his CMO had been irritable and rushed. Jim knew what kind of pressure Bones was under currently, so other than informing him of an upcoming meeting with Pike he needed McCoy to attend, Jim had let him be. He was still glad he’d come down here. Chekov looked pale and stressed, a stark contrast to the near peaceful Hikaru next to him. “You alright?”

“I’m fine seir.” Chekov tried to insist. At Kirk’s disbelieving look, he reluctantly admitted he was less than. “I… am vorried.” Chekov looked back to Sulu, still somehow sleeping. He hoped it was because somewhere inside Sulu felt safe here, but considering McCoy’s said the drug mimicked a sedative, he doubted that was truly the case. Chekov didn’t think he’d feel safe after two weeks in _that_ place.

“I know what you mean.” Kirk nodded, moving a couple steps forward but keeping his distance from the unconscious Omega. “He’s in good hands though, they all are. McCoy will find a treatment soon and Sulu will be back to his old self.

Chekov nodded, biting his tongue. He knew what Kirk meant, but he couldn’t stop the thought that his idea of Karu’s ‘old self’ was different that Kirk’s. The captain had only ever known Sulu as this timid, anxious man he was now, nothing like Pav remembered him to be; mischievous, strong, and full of passion and energy. There had been flashes of Karu’s old personality rise up since he’d joined the Enterprise crew, but only that. 

Chekov turned away from the captain, eyes back on Sulu as he resumed his early position, laying his head on his arms next to Sulu’s sleeping form. Kirk watched him for a moment, eyes worried, but the navigator seemed to have forgotten about his presence completely. Jim wasn’t thrilled to have so many of his bridge crew so out of sorts, Spock would likely describe it as emotionally compromised, but he hoped they’d get things back to normal once they rescued Omega’s were put to rights. 

For now, he left Sulu in Chekov’s vigilant care, headed back to the reports he needed to complete before the meeting Pike had scheduled day after tomorrow.

~~~

Kirk sighed, reading over the latest message from Pike. Over the past 38 hours they’d thoroughly scoured the compound, gathering all the data and information needed. Kirk had looked over a good chunk of what pertained to his own crewman, something that was devastating enough as it was, and a fraction of the other data recovered. Included in that was information on the organization behind the compound, an organization that went by the name KISHI. 

At least now they knew who they were dealing with. 

In fact, that was a part of the message he’d received from the Admiral. Thanks to the capture of the compound, which resulted in the organization becoming aware they’d been discovered, the clock was ticking on finding and putting on trial any of those working with or for KISHI. 

Now that cleanup was finished, Pike’s ship was scheduled to depart in the next few hours and head to a nearby starbase, where the initial trial was to be held. Before he was to leave, he wanted to debrief, introducing Kirk to their attorney for the person suite they were bringing against the captain, crew, and CMO of the Indiana. 

Spock was left in command of the bridge in the meantime, Kirk heading to the meeting with an exhausted looking McCoy. Jim nodded to Pike as he entered, casting a curious glance at the man sitting beside the Admiral. 

“Gentlemen, this is Jeffery Tomlin, he’ll be representing Sulu and yourselves regarding the Indiana. That trial will, to some extent, be separate from the whole considering it’s unlikely the entire ship was complicit in the agenda for the group Kishi.” Pike began the meeting once McCoy and Kirk had been seated, nodding toward Jeffery as he introduced him. “I’ve asked him to sit in here because it’ll help him with the case to know all of the surrounding issues.”

“I haven’t read the report on it yet, Admiral, but how did you find out the location of the facility?” Jim asked.

“To be honest, we got lucky.” Pike explained, pulling a PADD closer and flipping through it to find the appropriate report. “In our last meeting, I let you know we had an informant on the inside, got us a few details of the formula they used on the Omega’s. He’s the one who told us the location of the complex.” 

“Just how is that lucky?” McCoy asked as Pike slid the PADD over to Kirk for him to read the full details. “I was under the impression you had a mole on the inside, someone you sent in undercover.”

“No, though that was an option we considered. It would have taken to long for them to get the trust and clearance to get the information we needed. The lucky part was the informant’s daughter presented as an Omega, made him reconsider what it was they were doing down in that place. Apparently, he knew that I’d been involved in the incident with Sulu, reached out to me.” Pike explained, frowning to himself. He didn’t like that it had come down to so much luck. Without it, they might not have found the complex for months, wouldn’t have been able to stop the group’s plans and rescue the Omegas held there.

Kirk nodded, eyes scanning over the report covering the assault as the conversation moved onto the agenda KISHI had been pushing and what was discovered by their investigation of the compound. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard or read himself, most of it was for the benefit of the lawyer.

“The other three prisoners are, to the best of our knowledge, civilians. KISHI has proven to be adept at rewriting and erasing records, so we are having some difficulty determining who and where they came from. The three haven’t been overly forthcoming with information. If they’re stable enough to move...” Pike paused, glancing over at McCoy and continuing once he received a nod. “then they’ll board my ship and I will escort them back to earth. From there, with the full resources of the council, I’ll head up the investigation to find any other supporters of the terrorist group.”

“Try not to turn it into a witch hunt.” McCoy scoffed quietly.

Admiral Pike snorted lightly in amusement, but didn’t respond to the statement, instead moved on to start wrapping up the meeting. “The case Sulu, and yourselves, bring against the Indiana will likely be used as your side of the evidence to the extent it ties to KISHI.”

“Other than a one-time appearance and statement by both Doctor McCoy and Lt. Sulu, there shouldn’t be any need for them to appear in every case brought to trial regarding that group.” Jeffery added. “That is going to be a big undertaking, and will likely take quite a lot of time. There should be no reason the Enterprise for to be deprived of her CMO and chief Helmsman for the entire process.”

“That’s a relief.” McCoy sighed. Much as he might not love exploring all the dark and dangerous corners of space, the idea of spending the next undetermined time sitting in a courtroom was equally, if not more so, displeasing. “So, when is this gonna get started?”

“As soon as we arrive at Starbase 36.” Kirk answered, slight frown on his face. “Assuming the Indiana has also arrived. We’re about a week out heading at Warp 5, the Indiana further. The Enterprise is going to remain in orbit until the Challenger arrives. She’ll take watch over the compound until the council determines how they want to handle it.”

“That’s not a whole lotta time, Jim.” McCoy frowned, brow furrowed in concern. It had only been a little over two months since Sulu had gotten away from that abusive environment. McCoy had his reservation as to whether the pilot was truly ready to try and press charges, especially after his experience during his recent capture.

“I know Bones, but this whole process got started when we submitted the complaint a couple weeks ago. In light of recent events, we might be able to delay it, but…” 

Jeffery spoke up, interrupting Kirk with an apologetic smile. “The issue was brought to the attention of the council before these events, so the process was already underway. I could request a delay, considering recent events, if Lt. Sulu needs it. The Indiana has already been contacted and in en route, so rescheduling may prove complicated. We’d likely be forced to choose a specific time.”

“Choose a different…” McCoy began, tone incredulous. “You don’t just _choose_ a time to recover from something like that.” 

“We know that doctor.” Pike interrupted, stalling McCoy before he could get too worked up. “Which is why the three of you will discuss the matter with Lt. Sulu and come to a decision regarding the case. Mister Tomlinson will be staying aboard the Enterprise, so you’ll have plenty of time to come to a decision before reaching Starbase 36.”

Jeffery nodded. “We want this trial to be successful and I know pushing the Lt. into testifying when he isn’t ready won’t help our chances. Would likely do the opposite.”

Pike nodded agreement, rising to his feet. “Alright, we’ve all got a lot of work ahead of us. Mister Tomlinson, if you’ve gotten all of your belongings on board the Enterprise, I’ll leave you in the capable hands of Captain Kirk. Jim, good luck.”

Kirk and McCoy stood up as Pike left the room, the meeting officially being adjourned. McCoy rubbed the bridge of his nose, scowling down at the table and muttering to himself as he left the room to return to sickbay. Kirk sighed as he watched the doctor leave, then turned a polite smile to Jeffery. “Come on, I’ll show you to your quarters. We’ll get a time to meet with Sulu once McCoy clears him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may recall, if you’ve read my “Riot in the Corridor” fic, I am not at all good at describing legal procedure. Nor do I truly, completely, understand how many aspects of the legal process work. You'll also notice I'm using the same character. No reason other than I don't want to come up with a different OC.  
> So anyway, a lot of this is made up with bits and pieces of real legal things. But mostly it’s made up. So, yeah… I’m too lazy to properly research how a court case would actually proceed, or the type of court/trial this would be classified as. Just bare that in mind over the next few chapters.  
> Also, I'm bad at naming things. I had help coming up with the group name kishi. Feel free to look it up. It's a mythological creature that vaguely fits the evilness of said group. Props to my roommate for helping me find it to use it for a name. Hurray for fun stories that spiral out of control!
> 
> As always, comments are loved and appreciated.


	58. Start the Process

Jim put off scheduling a meeting between Hikaru, Jeffery, and the others involved for as long as he could, wanting to give Sulu as much chance as possible to recover. McCoy been able to find a suitable treatment, one better than simply slowly lowering the dose of that drug, but there were still lingering effects. Once he got word that the Challenger was scheduled to arrive within the next 24 hours, he couldn’t put it off any longer.

The day they were due to depart for Starbase 36 found Kirk, Spock, Jeffery, McCoy and Sulu filing their way into the conference room. Kirk couldn’t wait for this whole deal to be over and done with. He’d been awash is reports and contacting Admirals and other captains he’d had basically no time to check in on his own crew.

Kirk caught McCoy’s eye as Sulu slipped in and took a seat. If Kirk had to describe it he’d almost say the Asian was shying away from the doctor, his body language wary. McCoy held his gaze, lips thinning briefly and shook his head once. That wasn’t exactly reassuring. Jim pushed the concern to the side for now, focusing on the meeting that was ready to start.

The participants were similar to the meeting with Pike, though this time Spock and Sulu were in attendance. Since Spock had done the most research on the crew of the Indiana, Kirk had determined he would be vital in the proceedings. 

“Pike’s headed back to Earth and we’ll be headed to Starbase 36 in a few hours. He’s already gotten the ball rolling on starting the court proceedings to take care of any and all officers in the Federation who have any affiliation with the group known as KISHI. Our concern for now is the trial against the Indiana.”

McCoy snorted, still just as unimpressed with the group’s chosen name as when he’d heard it from Pike. Kirk gave him a short dry look, then continued. “Taking the compound on the surface has kicked this whole process into motion faster than we might have thought, so we’ve got to get to work on our side of the testimony. Sulu’s already agreed to go forward with it instead of requesting a delay in the proceedings. Which leads me to introducing our representative. Jeffery Tomlinson.”

Kirk waved a hand at the stranger in the room as he introduced him. “Jeffery’s already met McCoy thanks to our earlier meeting with Pike before he left. And Spock met Jeffery when he first came aboard.” He explained for Sulu’s benefit. “He’s been caught up to Pike’s side of things, and what little we’ve dug up on the Indiana.”

“I’ve already got the initial report that you gave Captain Kirk.” Jeffery took up the explanation, directing his attention mainly on Hikaru. “So, you don’t have to worry about that. This meeting is more for introductions and to try and get a general plan of attack laid out.”

“I’d think our side it pretty clear and foolproof, isn’t it? What kinda defense could they possibly have?” McCoy ground out, leaning agitatedly in his seat. 

“It’s not so much a defense of their actions…” Jeffery sighed, pulling out some documents and scrolling through them to find some reference as he launched into an explanation. Afterwards, he shifted into explaining the way the trial would proceed and how they would go about presenting evidence and testimony. 

Kirk frowned as he watched Sulu, his attention wandering from the conversation that was taking place. He knew the Omega would probably be out of sorts for a while, but what he was seeing went beyond that. Hikaru was acting almost normal concerning everyone but McCoy. The pilot tracked the conversation, person to person, until it came to McCoy. When the doctor spoke, Sulu’s gaze slid over him, like he couldn’t bring himself to even look at Bones. Something was definitely going on with that.

“And what if they accuse him of lying? Or just point out that he could easily be remembering events wrong, misunderstood or something?” 

_That_ got Kirk’s attention.

Immediately, all eyes were on Jeffery, two sets holding a near murderous glare. The lawyer held up his hands in supplication, continuing quickly. “I’m not saying I think that’s what happened. My job is to help your case and that means being prepared. All their representative needs to do in put enough doubt in the judge or jury’s mind and, considering what appears to have been their agenda so far, it’s likely they’ll go straight for that defense. They’ve been working towards discrediting Omega’s and rescinding their rights. Even if the crew of the Indiana don’t have anything to do with the terrorist group, the obvious first step in this trial for them will be making the only Omega witness discreditable.”

The room was quiet for a moment following the statement, Kirk scowling unhappily. It was a valid point, and a valid concern, but he wasn’t sure how to go about addressing it. His first thought was that they’d simply state otherwise. Tell the court that Sulu was speaking the truth. The only concern being how the court would view Sulu’s probably reaction to being accused like that during the trial. Considering his tormentors would be right there in front of him, Kirk didn’t think it would go well. 

“You see my point though?” Jeffery spoke again, tone a little gentler and somewhat apologetic as he nodded towards Sulu, the pilot looking decidedly pale and nervous. “It’s not going to look good, no matter _why_ , if he reacts like that on the stand.”

“I believe I may have a solution.” Spock stated, breaking the momentary uncomfortable silence that followed Jeffery’s statement. 

Sulu’s gaze slowly slid over to the Vulcan, stomach already uneasy and in knots. Finding the Alpha watching him almost calculatingly did nothing to ease that feeling. He had no idea what Spock might be about to suggest, but he was nervous anyway.

“What? Are you gonna volunteer your services as a lie detector?” McCoy commented gruffly. And perhaps his gruff sass was out of place in this meeting, but it was the only outlet he had for his frustration at the current events.

“On the contrary doctor. If Lt. Sulu will allow, I will perform a mind meld.” Spock elaborated, gaze turning to McCoy as he explained. “Doing so will allow me to interpret the events in question as they stand. As you no doubt remember, Vulcans do not lie. This would remove the question of truthfulness or mis-remembrance due to emotional influence.”

“You want to read my mind?” Sulu questioned apprehensive and quiet, halting McCoy’s retort before he could utter it. Hikaru was tense, watching Spock with an emotion bordering on fear.

“Not precisely. The goal would not be to know your thoughts, but rather to view the events in question through your eyes. I will simply act as an unbiased third party, one who will not be influenced by emotion, to affirm what you testify as true.” Spock explained evenly.

Sulu hesitated, heart racing. Experience the events through his eyes? That was unnerving and uncomfortable on multiple levels. “You don’t… You don’t know what you’re asking, what you’d see...” He warned, not sure if he was trying to dissuade the Commander or give an excuse for himself. He wasn't even sure he had a choice in this.

“Hold on a minute.” McCoy interjected. “You can’t seriously think this is a good idea. God only know’s how that Vulcan mind meld thing will affect a human.”   
“I assure you doctor, it is quite safe.” 

“That might work.” Jeffery mused thoughtfully, gaze switching between Spock and Sulu in contemplation. “He could give his side of the story, then if there are doubts or questions raised, you would be a reliable source to corroborate the evidence. How detailed would you be able to be? When would you be able to do this mind meld and get a report on your experience?”

Kirk watched the back and forth silently for a moment, keeping an eye on Sulu. The pilot didn’t seem to be thrilled with the way things were going. Jim wasn’t too happy about it either, the attorney was all too eager and seemed to have forgotten that Sulu hadn’t exactly agreed yet.

Spock hadn’t forgotten, speaking up to halt Jeffery’s excited questions. “It would likely take more than one meld to obtain the full sequence of events, however I will not attempt the process at all unless the Lt. agrees to it.”

Kirk nodded in support of that statement, lifting an eyebrow towards Jeffery. “Ah, yes, of course, sorry.” The lawyer apologized, face flushing in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to imply that… It’s just, that’s a fascinating way to present evidence of this nature. Of course I wouldn’t want to try to pressure you into anything Mister Sulu.” 

Hikaru nodded slowly, tension relaxing at the apology and reassurance. “It… it would help the case though, right? If I agree?”

“Probably.” Jeffery answered. “At the very least, it won’t hurt our case.”

Hikaru took a slow breath, looking over at Spock once more. The Vulcan was the one Alpha on the ship he’d had least contact with, but if Kirk and McCoy trusted him, then he should be able to as well. Ignoring the ball of nervous fear, the guilt and shame at the thought of _anyone_ being witness to what he’d let Jameson do, he nodded. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

“Before we start cramming minds together,” McCoy interrupted, eyes on Sulu for a moment before he looked around the room at the others. “I still have reservations over the safety of this procedure. But if it’s gonna happen, you’ll have to wait until the effects of that drug have completely dispersed. Doctor’s orders. That stuff screws up the chemistry in the brain, who knows what it’ll do if you add another consciousness in there.”

“How… long with that be?” Sulu questioned hesitantly. Kirk looked at him with concern, curiosity peaked again at how submissive and wary Sulu was being with McCoy. The doctor was well aware of it too, given his tone when he answered.

“Another day, maybe two at the most.” 

“That’s probably for the best anyway, now that I think of it.” Jeffery sighed. “It’ll give me time to get in touch with the judge, make sure that kind of evidence will be admissible. No point in going through this whole process if they won’t let us use it.”

“So, couple days for Jeff to get his side straightened out while Sulu recovers, then a couple days for Spock to do his thing, and by that time we’ll have about three days to put together our evidence and get ready to go to trial.” Kirk summed up the timeline, getting agreeing nods from the others. “Alright, then I guess that’s all we can do for now.”

That was a good a dismissal as any, and the group stood up to head out. Sulu’s gaze was on Spock and, after skirting nervously around McCoy, he approached the Vulcan. While Kirk was glad the Omega wasn’t too wary of Spock, he could hear Sulu nervously asking the Vulcan about the meld, he was more concerned about what had driven such a rift between Hikaru and McCoy.

Kirk moved over to McCoy before the doctor could go far, laying a hand on the doctor’s arm in a silent request for him to wait. Jim glanced at the others as they began to leave the conference room, angling his body away from them to speak with McCoy. “Bones, what happened?” He asked the question quietly, mindful of the others.

McCoy scowled, crossing his arms as he too glanced over at the others. He waited until the last of them had left, the door closing behind them, before answering Kirk’s question. “Ran into some complications that first day, after we’d got the Omega’s settled. Turns out that drug was extremely addictive.”

“Yeah, I read your report.” Kirk nodded, brow furrowing. “That doesn’t explain…”

“And you _also_ know we had to dose them with that damn concoction from that hell down there.” McCoy snapped, tone conveying what the report had not. “There wasn’t any time to do anything else or we’d have lost all four of em. Sulu wasn’t as far gone when I went to treat him, he was still conscious. There was a scuffle and he’s been jumpy around me ever since.”

“Scuffle?” Kirk question, head tilting slightly. He’d read the reports, but there hadn’t been anything about a fight in it. 

“Yeah, kid panicked seeing me with the drugs. It’s not a surprise he was able to guess what it was, they probably had em all on a schedule down there. Crewman Elan was with me when Sulu tried to run, ended up tackling him basically. We had to restrain him to administer the hypo. Barked an order at him out of reflex, told him to be still, and I think what little drug was still in him was what made him obey.”

“It’s not your fault McCoy, you were trying to save his life.” Kirk assured him. He knew McCoy cared deeply about all of his patients and, even as tough a skin as Bones had, it hurt him that he’d needed to drug the Omega’s again. Sulu being so cautious and wary around him only made it sting more. “Talk to him. He’ll probably come find you for some answers after he gets done questioning Spock about this whole process anyway.” 

McCoy snorted humorlessly. “Of all the hair-brained ideas…”

Kirk chuckled, leading the way out of the room and counting it a success that he’d cheered McCoy. Or at the very least distracted him. “It’s a good one, Bones. If it’ll help our case even a little, I’m all for it.”

“Fine, but they’re doin’ it in sickbay where I can keep an eye one them.”


	59. Learning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, has it really almost been 2 months??
> 
> Welp, here's another chapter. Thank you for all your comments and patient waiting!

Sulu followed after Spock with only a marginal amount of fear and unease. At least that’s what he told himself. He knew that it was safe on the Enterprise, that Spock wasn’t a threat, but the Vulcan was still an Alpha and self-preservation made him want to avoid him. The few weeks of positive attention from that more dominant designation here on this ship did not, could not, erase the two years of experience and the habit Hikaru had developed trying to go unnoticed by them. Added to that was the hell of that compound down there, which left him wanting nothing more than to simply go back to trying to be invisible to any and all Alpha’s. And sometimes people in general.

In all honesty, he did not want to follow after Spock, or call out and bring the Commander’s attention onto himself. But even more so, Sulu didn’t want to go into this whole ‘mind meld’ procedure without knowing what was going to happen. He’d had more than enough unexplained experiments and tests inflicted upon him, thank you very much.

“Commander, sir, about this.. mind meld. Could I… what exactly is it?” Hikaru questioned. It wasn’t quite as smooth or coherent as he might have hoped, but he felt stupidly proud of himself for having gotten any words out at all.

Spock slowed slightly, letting Sulu catch up and walk beside him, before speaking. “As I said during the meeting, the process is not quite comparable to ‘reading’ thoughts. It will be very much like a memory, simply stronger. If you desired, you could close your eyes and remember any moment in your past, relieve the emotions and feelings. You would experience the same as you had back then. This mind meld will do much the same while allowing me to share the experience, the feeling and emotions of the moment.”

He explained, pausing to gauge whether Hikaru was following the explanation. “One might compare the experience to a dream. The feeling of passage of time will likely be similar to that in which human’s dream. Due to the sheer amount of time you spent on the Indiana, I estimate it will take seventeen minutes to complete. In order to allow you to recover and myself to process the information, I will recommend the endeavor to be split into five to six minute increments. As Doctor McCoy has already expressed his reservations, I am certain he will be amiable to my recommendation.”

Sulu took in the words, frowning to himself. It sounded simple. Easy. However, he still had reservations about allowing anyone, even a Vulcan, into his head. “I… think I understand. Thank you, sir, for explaining.” Sulu said softly.

“Of course, Lieutenant.” Spock nodded. “If you have any questions or concerns, I will gladly address them.”

“I don’t, at the moment.” Sulu told him, shaking his head once as they came to a stop. It was then that he realized they were outside of sickbay and he felt a surprising wash of gratitude towards the commander. It was a small bit of thoughtfulness he hadn’t been expecting. He knew he had to be back here at sickbay, but he’d figured he would be following Spock to the bridge, then walking back here.

“Thank you.” He repeated again, wishing that he could meet the Vulcan’s eyes, at least try and convey some real gratitude. For once it wasn’t that he was afraid to do so, he just… couldn’t. He’d felt the effects enough to know it was that drug. It was just as frustrating a feeling now as it had been back in that compound. It was almost _more_ frustrating. McCoy really had been right about it still being in his system, much as he wished that the doctor had been exaggerating.

And speak of the devil… Sulu heard McCoy before he saw him, the doctor making some quip to Spock as he approached. Not that Hikaru even registered what was said.  
Sulu tensed, hands tightening into fists and palms stinging from where his nails dug sharply into the skin. He hadn’t exactly been relaxed with Spock, but he though he’d been doing well enough with the Alpha, but having another there was too much. He ducked his head, taking a slight step back before forcing himself to be still.

After a moment he glanced up, gratefully realizing McCoy’s attention was on Spock. It gave him a chance to compose himself, to fight the wave of artificial desire to drop down. Breathing through his mouth helped, the scent of Alpha not hitting him so hard, and by the time McCoy’s gaze turned his way he felt like he was together enough that he at least had control over his body.

McCoy sighed and turned his attention onto Hikaru as Spock turned to leave. He glanced over Sulu’s tense form as he huffed out a breath. Even needling Spock hadn’t relaxed him enough to prepare him to deal with this.

McCoy wasn’t one to walk on eggshells around anyone, and trying to do so around Hikaru the past few interactions clearly hadn’t helped fix the problem the Omega had with him. He didn’t blame the kid for having an issue, Leonard knew he would have had more than enough of his own if he’d have gone through all that crap.

Kirk had said to talk to him. Bah. Sulu looked ready to bolt, not talk. McCoy was positive that if it weren’t for the drug still in the Omega, and the unspoken order that he stay in sickbay, Sulu would be holed up in his quarters to avoid him. He had a job to do, damn it, and he couldn’t properly treat Sulu when he was skirting around tryin not to spook him. He’d let his instincts get the better of him and it hadn’t helped, it was time to try just being his usual abrasive self. Maybe normalcy, rather than anything else, would do the trick.

“Well, you gonna just stand there all day? C’mon. We might as well get some of these tests done before the kid shows up getting underfoot.” McCoy gruffed, reaching to tug lightly at Sulu’s sleeve, ignoring the way Hikaru jerked a bit, then turned and headed into sickbay.

Sulu tilted his head at the doctor’s tone, course and yet devoid of anger. He followed after him instinctively, emotions wavering between uneasy and curious. He was fairly certain he knew who McCoy was talking about, but the doctor had a tendency to call people kid when he was annoyed with or concerned about them. “Kid?”

“Little curly mop of red hair. You can’t miss ‘em.” McCoy clarified, leading the way over to a bed, setting up the scans and hypos as he talked. “Can’t complain too much, seeing how he keeps you from being bored out of your mind. Jim woulda run outta here ten times over.”

Sulu wasn’t sure what to make of what was going on. For all of McCoy’s gruff tone and litany of complaints, his touch was gentle during the exam and tests. More confusing to Sulu was the fact that rather than being intimidated or threatened by the Alpha’s mood, it was almost reassuring. Yeah, it was still a _little_ threatening, but it was also the kind of behavior that he’d seen from McCoy since the first day he’d arrived on the Enterprise. He had his softer moments, sure, but here in the medical bay, this was more normal.

“You think I shouldn’t do this mind meld with Spock?” Hikaru asked when the topic of McCoy’s complaints circled around to said Vulcan once more. McCoy’d finished with what he was doing, making this the perfect time to speak up. If it just so happened that Pav was supposed to show up any time and potentially rescue Hikaru if he somehow irritated the Alpha, well… That was coincidence.

“All I’m saying is that Vulcans aren’t exactly the most forthcoming about how all that works. There’s no medical record of it ever being done between a human and a Vulcan.” McCoy put away the last hypo and turned to look at Sulu.

“That… doesn’t answer my question.” Sulu stated hesitantly.

Leonard sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t think you shouldn’t do it. Spock says it’ll work, I believe him. Maybe I’m just biased because I wouldn’t want anyone else in my head but me.”  
McCoy was saved from having to try and explain further by a certain redhaired navigator popping into the room, grinning widely. “Karu!” He all but bounced into the room, encouraged by Sulu’s returning smile, small and unsure though it might have been.

McCoy left Sulu to think about the conversation, if the pilot even would with Pavel distracting him, and made his way to check on the other patients. The three Omega’s were just as jumpy, skittish, and mistrusting of him as Sulu. As grating as that was, it at least was reassurance that Hikaru’s reaction wasn’t something personal.

Sulu, at least, he felt was coming around, albeit slowly. The pilot’s scent held far less fear and more of a hesitant uncertainty. The other three Omega’s from the compound McCoy wasn’t sure he’d every truly earn their trust. Not that they would likely stay on board once they’d made it to Starbase 36 for the trial.

Back in his office, McCoy made his way to his chair, sitting down and running a hand down his face. After that little conversation with Sulu and then the other three Omega’s… he was tense. Humanity might think itself civilized beyond the base instincts of Alpha’s and Omega’s, but the instinct was still there. Having so many frightened and uneasy Omega’s in such close quarters, one of which he felt a somewhat close connection with, was taking its toll.

Leonard let out one last sigh, straightening up and activating the monitor to get some work done. He sure hoped Jim was having an easier time with all this than he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure this is my best work, so far as chapters go, but, meh. Been stuck here for too long, so I'm just going to throw it out there to progress the story.


	60. Remember Remember

The next two days all but flew by. Hikaru spent all of his time in sickbay, McCoy didn’t want him leaving while there was _any_ of that drug in his system. It wasn’t too miserable, Chekov came by all the time. Kirk was busy and Sulu hadn’t seen him since the meeting with the lawyer, but Scotty visited. Jeffery had dropped by once, to let him know the judge had okay’d the mind meld testimony thing. He also apologized for having to put off the two of them talking about Sulu’s side of the complaint. Jeffery hadn’t wanted to risk it being pulled into question due to the drugs in his system.

Hikaru hadn’t exactly been sorry. He knew he was procrastinating, that it would have to happen eventually, but he was perfectly fine with putting off having to actually say any of those experiences aloud. He didn’t want to think about how he’d only have about a day and a half after talking with Jeffery before he’d be repeating it all in front of a court.

For now, he was more concerned about the mind meld. He wasn’t 100% sure about it, but he wasn’t going to change his mind now. Not when he was already sitting on a bed, McCoy standing nearby glowering at the machines, and Spock standing beside him waiting to proceed.

Even with his determination, Sulu couldn’t help but be nervous. Spock had explained to him what to expect, what would happen, but his heart was still racing. He flinched slightly when the Vulcan reached for him, even though Spock kept his motion slow and smooth. It wasn’t that he was afraid of Spock, well he was, but rationally he knew the science officer wasn’t going to harm him. Still, this was the first time he’d had any physical contact with the man, he couldn’t help how his body reacted.

Since the meeting and that first explanation, he’d spoken to the Vulcan at length about what would happen, what to expect, but he didn’t feel ready. Beyond the fear of the Alpha being so close, physically and soon to be mentally, he was afraid of himself. Of his own memories. He’d have to see Jameson again, experience him all over again.

He could feel a presence, a wave of calm washing over and easing the fear and worry in his mind. It didn’t erase it, but it was muted, and he could hear Spock speaking to him as he lay back, eyes closed as his mind floated.

‘Start at the beginning. Let yourself think back and remember that first meeting, how events progressed.’

~~

“Spock!” McCoy called out to the commander as he stirred, the doctor glancing up to check his vitals. “Spock, are you-?”

“I am fine, doctor.” Spock cut him off, voice slightly rough. He sat up slowly, nodding towards Sulu to direct McCoy’s attention. “You will, however, need to calm him.”

“What?” McCoy began to ask, brow furrowed, but as if on cue the machine monitoring Sulu began beeping, the pilot’s heart rate increasing dramatically. The fluctuation in Spock’s readings had already begun to correct themselves, so McCoy took the two steps over to Sulu’s side.

Sulu drew in a sharp breath, eyes snapping open wide and terrified as he tried to scramble back away from the Alpha standing over him. By reflex, McCoy grabbed him, preventing him from falling back off the bed and potentially injuring himself. “Easy Sulu, it’s alright, you’re fine. You’re safe.” McCoy tried to reassure him, trying keeping calm even as Sulu tried to pry himself from McCoy’s grip.

Sulu dropped his hands immediately at the annoyed growl from McCoy, holding them up in surrender. “Don’t. Please, I’m sorry, I-“ After a second, Sulu seemed to recognize where he was and who was over him and he stopped uncertainly. “Si-… McCoy?”

“Know any other CMO’s on this ship?” McCoy retorted, lips thinning slightly when Sulu looked away with a wince. “Glad to see you’re back with us.” McCoy continued, easing his grip now that he was certain Hikaru wouldn’t accidentally harm himself and even assisting the pilot to sit up. “How you feelin’?”

Sulu kept his eyes downcast, trying to will his heartbeat to slow. “I… I’m…” He glanced up at McCoy nervously, repressing the urge to shrink away from the Alpha. It was hard to forget the feeling of being held down, even if the gruff attitude from McCoy was a normal reaction from the doctor, a grounding reminder of where he was.

“Tired.” Sulu finished his sentence, shoulders dropping a fraction. It had been hard reliving the past, though Spock had been correct and the Alpha’s presence in his mind did buffer the feeling and emotion. It hadn’t made it easier though. Sulu might even argue it made it more difficult, being aware that there was someone else, another Alpha no less, watching his most humiliating moments. And so many of them. He’d basically gone through months in the span of a few minutes. Knowing he’d have to do this again, relive more of that, was a daunting thought. Taking advantage of the moment McCoy turned to check on Spock again, Sulu stood up and slipped away.

He knew full well he wouldn’t get far if he tried to leave the medical area, and he had _no_ desire to bring McCoy’s wrath by trying to do so, but he really just wanted, needed, a moment. So, he found himself curled up in McCoy’s office, back against the wall as he sat on the floor with his arms looped around his knees.

It was easy for McCoy to find his missing patient. Sulu hadn’t exactly been trying to hide, and scenting a distressed Omega was simple, especially as the one in question had left the office door open. Leonard hesitated at the open door for a moment, watching Sulu. The kid looked the picture of depressed and dejected. Before he even really registered it, McCoy was walking forward. It wasn’t in his nature to just ignore someone in obvious pain any more than it was in his nature to coddle someone being ridiculous. Beyond that, his instincts as an Alpha all but demanded he go and fix whatever the problem was.

Sulu tensed, eyes still downcast as McCoy came over, muttering a quiet apology. “Sorry I’m such a wreck.”

The doctor didn’t comment, just slid down with a slight huff to sit next to the pilot.

It felt almost oppressive, having an Alpha so close to him, and Sulu couldn’t make himself relax. He hated it, but he couldn’t stop the fearful tension, waiting an order while rationally knowing McCoy likely wouldn’t give one.

Hikaru couldn’t fully relax, but he did shift just the slightest bit closer after a while, letting their shoulders meet. Taking a shuddering breath, he spoke.

“When I woke up at the hospital, and they told me Jameson was dead… I couldn’t help but be frustrated. It was just… It was frustrating, knowing that he’d never…” Sulu sighed lightly, leaning into the warm contact of McCoy’s shoulder. “It wasn’t like I thought I’d ever be able to do anything about him, that anything would change, but… It was frustrating to actually _know_ that he’d never face any sort of justice.”

McCoy didn’t say anything, for which Sulu was grateful. He didn’t know why he was telling the doctor all this, but it felt relieving to just get it out.

“A part of me was glad too. That it was all over, that no one would find out just how weak and stupid I’d been. I knew, when it all started, that it wasn’t right, but I didn’t even try to do anything until it was too late.” Hikaru scoffed, a self-deprecating smirk on his lips, voice dropping to a near whisper. “Considering all that, I guess I deserved all that shit he did.”

McCoy frowned, but held back from snapping out just how much crap that statement was. Straight confronting him and telling him didn’t seem to be as effective as bringing him around to the idea on his own. So, instead of calling bullshit, McCoy asked instead. “I haven’t seen or heard all of what happened, but considering how it affected even Spock, it had to be extreme. How did you deserve any of that?”

“I just…” Sulu sighed again, starting over. “I was naive and stupid. Jameson was a seasoned officer, I thought that he must know what he was doing. I knew it was all wrong, different and backwards to what we’d been taught at the academy. Hell, even grade school. I should have done something, not let him just… do all that.”

“You had more than one person against you there, keeping you quiet.” McCoy pointed out.

“That shouldn’t have stopped me.” Sulu argued. “I knew it was wrong, I should have done _something_.”

McCoy felt a smile tug at his lips despite the serious topic, glad to hear the Omega sounding less depressed, more determined. Even if that determination came from some twisted sense of having to prove himself in the wrong, it was better than the depressed surrender from moments before. Leonard kept a straight face, however, glancing over at Sulu as he made his next point. “So, because you knew it was wrong and couldn’t do anything, you deserved it?” At Sulu’s slight nod, he continued on to ask, “So since Chekov knew and didn’t do anything, he’d have deserved that kinda thing too?”

Predictably, that got Sulu’s full attention, a growl underlaying his tone as he glared at McCoy. “What!? _No_!”

“So, what? Since you’re Omega you deserved it more than someone who is Beta? Just because of what you are?” McCoy pressed, lifting an eyebrow. “You think an Omega just deserves that kinda treatment, even if they knew it was wrong, just because they had no way out?”

“No! An Omega isn’t any reason to think I’m less than a person!“

“Exactly.” McCoy continued, unphased by the heated tone in Sulu’s voice, or his glare. “You didn’t deserve any of that. Like you said, Jameson was a seasoned officer. You should have been able to trust him. And the CMO and captain should have been a help, not some sideshow act keeping you in that position. You had no reason to believe otherwise going in. You didn’t have any experience and they took advantage. It wasn’t your fault.”

Hikaru frowned to himself, anger derailing, and looked away from McCoy. He wasn’t sure how to handle the seemingly sudden switch of attitude from McCoy or the fact that the Alpha was apparently agreeing with him. He had a point though, and the more Hikaru thought about it, the more sense it made.

“I’m still a wreck though.” Sulu commented, the words just a little too serious and heartfelt to be a joke, but his tone leaned that way.

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.” McCoy huffed, using the wall behind him to pull himself to his feet.

Sulu looked up at McCoy for a moment, head tilted to the side in consideration. He shook his head, letting the comment go. Instead, he held out a hand, a hint of mischievousness in his expression as he made a little grabby motion.

McCoy rolled his eyes, but reached out to pull Sulu to his feet.

Hikaru stood up, a little relieved at the easy acceptance of his playful side. McCoy wasn’t the type to be amused by jokes and pranks, but it was nice to see proof he’d at least tolerate it without becoming angry. It was weird testing boundaries, he’d never needed to at the academy and he hadn’t dared to do so with Jameson. Feeling far calmer than before, Sulu headed towards the door, having caught a glimpse of Spock returning.

McCoy followed a step behind, frowning slightly and glancing at Sulu. “You don’t have to keep on with this. I’m sure what Spock’s seen is enough.”

“I know I don’t have to.” Sulu replied, slowing somewhat as they walked the short distance to the Vulcan. “It’s hard to really get sometimes, but I know you, Kirk, or Spock wouldn’t make me do something. But I still have to. For me. If it’ll help with this case, I need to. I can’t get any closure with Jameson, not with him being dead, but he wasn’t the only one. And it’ll help, knowing that there is some justice with all this.”


	61. Aftermath

McCoy and Sulu let their conversation drop as they came to a stop by Spock and the nurse, Sulu moving to resume his spot on the bed. He was somewhat proud of himself for not flinching away as Spock reached up to touch him and begin the meld again. Talking with McCoy had eased most of the tension, but as Hikaru closed his eyes he could feel it returning. He’d be facing Jameson again, and he wasn’t looking forward to doing this one more time after this.

~~

He came up from the second mind meld more calmly, at least on the outside. He didn’t retreat to hide away this time, though it was obvious something was off. He gave simply one-word answers when asked how he was doing by McCoy or the nurse, and absently rubbed absently at the bond scar on his neck only to stop when he notice McCoy watching.

“You alright?” McCoy asked again, brow furrowed as he watched the pilot.

Sulu forced himself to look up, meeting McCoy’s eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine, never better.” He forced a smile, stomach twisting with nervous tension at the flippant answer. It was painfully obvious McCoy wasn’t buying it. A part of him was expected a backhand for the blatant disregard of the question, but another part of him knew McCoy wouldn’t do that. That particular memory had been far too clear and it was hard to get himself back fully in the present. It was not a comfortable place to be so at odds within himself.

Otherwise, he kept silent, waiting patiently for Spock to return to complete the last meld.

~~~

_What the hell do we do with him now?”_

The voice confused Sulu. Everything was dark, the blankness of unconsciousness after he’d passed out on that planet. He’d expected Spock to end the meld, there wasn’t anything else for him to remember. At least, he hadn’t thought there was.

He recognized who it was immediately. Leo, Jameson’s best friend from the Indiana, and a second voice of the Indiana’s CMO followed soon after.

_They’ll send him to someone else, we don’t do anything with him._

_What? The hell? You mean he’s just go—_

Leo’s voice faded and it felt like the darkness blurred slightly. That’s what caused Sulu to realize what this was, where he was. It was after the rescue, and he’d been brought back to the Indiana, to sickbay. He hadn’t been awake for it, hadn’t consciously remembered it, but it made sense. Where else would they have taken him.

He must have been going in and out of awareness, which explained the snippets of conversation. They really hadn’t thought much of him to just be discussing what to do with him while he was right there, unconscious or not.

_…figure Jame’d beated it outta him, but what if he makes a fuss. We don’t got anyone in place…_

_Stop worrying. Everything is taken care of, more or less, I’ve-_

Sulu blinked up at the bright lights of sickbay, confused and at a loss as to what to think. He’d never remember that before, and he wasn’t sure how to take it. They’d seemed so confident that nothing was going to come back on them. Just how much power and influence did that organization even have? Was that bogus transfer the only thing they’d prepared? What if they had some other trick up their sleeves…

He kept those worries to himself, giving simple answers once again as McCoy checked him over. He just wanted out of here right now. To get away from the, frankly, oppressive feeling of having two Alpha’s so close. They were trying to help, he knew that, but it didn’t make being around them any easier. As much as he appreciated their help, and McCoy for having listened to him and helped him earlier, being around them right now made him feel like he was going to crawl right out of his skin.

All he wanted to do was be somewhere he could think, preferably not alone but not around an Alpha. And the only one who he felt safe with, and likely wouldn’t ask questions, was Pavel.   
It felt like an eternity later before he was released from sickbay. For a terrifying moment, Sulu’d been convinced McCoy would make him stay, but once he’d told the doctor he planned on going to hang out with Chekov, he’d let him go. Hikaru hadn’t stuck around long enough to give him the chance to change his mind. Sulu’d had more than enough of being stuck in sickbay so he beat a hasty retreat, heading straight to Chekov’s room.

Hikaru was able to keep it together, chanting to himself he was fine, just fine, until he got to Chekov’s quarters. Once there, safely away from any prying eyes, he could feel himself dropping, exhausted by the events of the day. He shivered, moving over to the bed and throwing a blanket over himself.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed before Chekov showed up, the Russian entering the room to find Sulu huddled in the middle of the bed amid a nest of blankets. As soon as Pavel entered to room and headed over, Sulu perked up and gave him a grin. Chekov was not the slightest bit reassured, biting his tongue as he noticed the slight shivers in his friend. He’d mostly expected this however, had known Sulu was going to be going back over the past two years. Sulu had neglected to tell him until it was too late to switch shifts, otherwise he’d have tried to convince McCoy to let him be there. So, instead of asking questions, he just moved to curl up next to Hikaru, Finding that Sulu’s nest of blankets didn’t really accommodate more than one, Pav shifted to the top of the bed to sit down and opened his arms to Karu.

The grateful hum Sulu let out was achingly familiar. He’d done the same back on the Indiana every time Chekov had decided not to question him about what had happened to make him show up like this. Chekov let Sulu curl into him, heart breaking when the pilot flinched away from his touch at first, only to burrow himself closer a second later with a mumbled apology.

“Are… are you alvight? Should I call zhe doctor, or zhe capt-“ Chekov began to ask after a few minutes, worried more than he’d care to admit. Sulu wasn’t relaxing like he normally did, and Pav didn’t know what else he could do.

Sulu cut him off before he could finish the sentence. “No!” He stated vehemently, pulling back a bit to meet Chekov’s gaze. He didn’t want either of them here, couldn’t handle the thought of an Alpha trying to take him down. He didn’t want this to be the one time that led to their patience running out. He let out a shuddered breath, speaking again in a more normal tone. “Sorry, no. I’m fine, really. I just… It’s just, it was a little… hard, seeing all that again. I’m fine, I don’t… I just need somewhere safe to chill. I’m fine.”

Sulu tried his very best to be reassuring and confident. He didn’t think he could handle being around an Alpha right now, not being this vulnerable. And sure, it would suck dropping like this, would be hard to keep how difficult and uncomfortable the experience was from Pav, but he could do it. Pav already knew something was up, but that was all he knew, and hopefully he’d accept the excuse that it was all just memories of Jameson and nothing else.

“Are you sure? Zhey von’t mind.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” Hikaru insisted. “Besides, supposed to see Kirk later anyway. I’m fine.The whole mind meld thing is just… intense.”

Thankfully, Chekov seemed to accept the excuse and didn’t press. After a while, Sulu was able to garner some control over himself, enough to give Chekov some room, rolling to lay flat though he kept his arm laying against Pav’s. He wasn’t shaking anymore, though his stomach was still in knots, and he was close enough to Chekov to maintain contact but far enough away to let his friend know that he was okay.

For the longest time the two of them lay in silence, each simply staring up at the ceiling. Sulu relished the quiet and peace, it gave him more time to calm himself. By the time Chekov broke the silence, he finally gotten past circling around the memories in his head, felt like himself again.

“Vhat if…” Chekov stopped, biting his tongue. The question had been burning in his mind ever since he’d found out about the trial. He wasn’t so sure about voicing it, but Karu was his best friend and he didn’t have anyone else to talk to about it. At the same time, he didn’t want to worry Karu.

When Chekov didn’t continue talking, Sulu made an encouraging noise, poking him lightly in the side.

“What if what?”

Pavel sighed, knowing Sulu wasn’t going to drop it, going by the concern and curiosity on his best friend’s face. “Vhat if zhey do somezhing like zhat again. If zhey transfer you again…”

Sulu forced a chuckle at that, though he frowned. It was a valid question, one he hadn’t thought about. “I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t try the same trick twice. Especially now they’d been caught.” He smoothed his expression to one of unconcern when Chekov glanced his way.

“But…”

“Come on, Pav, don’t worry. At this point, I think I’d rather be discharged from the fleet rather than go to a different ship.” Sulu put as much confidence as he could into the tone, trying to bury his own unease. It was too close to what he’d been thinking himself after leaving sickbay. Going by his expression, Chekov didn’t quite buy it, but he let the subject drop.

Sulu changed the subject, making a stupid joke and turning the conversation into a ridiculous competition to see who could tell the corniest one. It took some doing, Chekov wasn’t completely into it at first, still worried about how everything might turn out. Eventually Sulu was able to goad him into joining in, and it helped pass the time and gave Hikaru a way to keep the false cheer and ease in place.

“Alright, alright, you win this time.” Sulu grinned, watching as Pav tried to control his giggles. At least he’d made the navigator feel better, so he counted that as a success. “I’ve gotta get going. Going to see Kirk.”

“Hm?” Chekov sat up straighter, head tilting slightly in question. He had the beginnings of concern on his face, so Sulu hastened to reassure him.

“It’s nothing about the trial, don’t worry. Just… after the whole Spock thing… Need to unwind some ya know. And it’s been a while. Hanging with you is great and all, but…”

“It iz not quite zhe same.” Chekov nodded, relaxing again. Pavel had wanted to call the captain earlier, but now was glad he hadn’t. Sulu sounded almost unconcerned about seeing the captain, a far cry from the desperate refusal from earlier. “Go on zhen. I’ll see you later?”

Sulu felt slightly guilty at the uncertain note at the end. He wasn’t lying to Chekov and this was nothing like with Jameson, but what with the compound and then having to relieve the Indiana, it was hard to keep it together. He hadn’t wanted Chekov to see him so messed up, it was why he hadn’t wanted Chekov there in sickbay during the meld, but Sulu had found himself here in Chekov’s quarters despite himself. Hikaru grinned, adopting a relaxed pose and nodding. “Yeah, sure thing. I’ll be back here if not tonight then first thing in the morning.”

The guilt eased somewhat seeing Pav’s elated grin and, with that image in mind, Sulu headed out. He nodded politely to the crew he passed out in the hall, though he didn’t pay too much more attention to them. It felt like the tension was increasing in him every step he took and he was relieved to see the door to his room.

Once inside, Sulu stood and just breathed for a moment, letting himself drop the cheery look now that he was safe and alone in his own room, not bothering to pretend he was fine with all of this. He didn’t want to worry anyone, didn’t want to bother anyone, with how _not_ fine he was feeling. And now he couldn’t get Pav’s words out of his head.

_What if…_

It was sickeningly possible. They’d proven to have high connections already, what if they decided moving Hikaru would solve their problems? What if they actually succeeded this time, permanently? They had rushed it last time, left holes and Kirk had seen through it. If they took their time, moved him to a legitimate posting before making another move… Sulu could easily find himself with no one caring to look for him.

The truly terrifying thing was that Sulu knew a simple and easy way to make that impossible. Simple, though perhaps not as easy as he would try and convince himself. But he would do anything it took to stay. To be here with Pav, the only one who was basically family, to be on a ship where they wouldn’t just let him disappear. He’d do anything, even if it meant giving himself to one of the Alpha’s on board, letting them mark and claim him.

It wasn’t even that hard to decide which one.

Spock was a no. Sulu had only had about four interactions with the Vulcan and beyond that, Spock was mated with Uhura. It was a good enough reason to completely dismiss him as an option, and a small part of Sulu was relieved. Spock was intimidating.

Which left Kirk and McCoy.

If he’d been faced with this choice two weeks ago, before this whole thing, he might have chosen McCoy. The doctor, for all his gruff attitude, was surprisingly gently. Difficult, almost impossible, to please, but gentle all the same. After that day in sickbay though… He and the doctor were on better term now, but right now Sulu couldn’t forget the feeling of being held down, the angry growl in McCoy’s order for him to ‘be still’. An order he’d heard so many times, in so many unpleasant situations. All the rational knowledge that McCoy wouldn’t hurt him didn’t erase that fear, that feeling.

Which left only Kirk.

That was probably for the best though, Sulu thought as he headed to the shower. This way, Kirk wouldn’t be offended. He was the captain after all and this way the issue of choosing a lower ranked Alpha over him would never come up. Besides, McCoy never really showed that type of interest in him anyway. Since, before having that conversation with Chekov, Sulu had already agreed to see Kirk today, he may as well get it over with, before he talked himself out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this, what's this?? A new development? I wonder where it will lead??


	62. Overcompensating

Jim knew there was something up, could see it on Hikaru’s face the moment he came into the room. The scent of the Omega’s anxiety was almost palpable. He wasn’t sure where it was coming from though, when he’s spoken to Sulu over the comms earlier the pilot had sounded fine.

Following the routine they’d established for the past month that Hikaru been on the ship and coming to him, Kirk didn’t press Sulu. He gave him his space, not attempting to approach him, just letting the pilot move and work through his reservations. Maybe he’d get lucky and Sulu would tell him what was up.

Kirk sat down on the couch, hoping that his actions would work as well as they had the last time Sulu had been so out of sorts. It took what felt like hours for Sulu to make a move, the Omega had simply hovered a safe distance away. When Hikaru did come forward, did finally speak, it almost left Jim wishing he hadn’t.

Hikaru paused, hesitant. He had to do this though, before the trial started, before it went too far. If they lost… if somehow he was made to leave the Enterprise… He couldn’t do that. It was safe here, _he_ was safe here. As safe as it ever was out here in space.

But…

If he were bonded… They wouldn’t make him leave his Alpha. That had been the main reason he’d been stuck on the Indiana. Well, besides the (now) obvious efforts of Jameson to keep him there. If he belonged to an Alpha here, on this ship, they wouldn’t force him to leave. Wouldn’t reassign him out of some misguided thought that somehow Kirk wasn’t able to handle him.

There was a pit forming in his stomach, growing larger as he delayed. Sulu had to do this. He tried to convince himself that it wouldn’t be that bad. Kirk wouldn’t hurt him, wouldn’t beat him for stupid reasons. Might not ever beat him at all, though it seemed too good to be true to believe the captain’s promise not to hit him would extend past claiming ownership of him.

“Kirk… Sir… Alpha..” Sulu’s voice trailed lower with each attempt, unable to look up to meet Jim’s eyes. He moved forward to close the last bit of distance between them, slowly sinking down to kneel in front of Kirk. “I… I can be good. I can be yours, if you… I can be good.” He stumbled over the words, eyes trained steadfastly to the side as he offered his throat to the Alpha. Offered himself.

As much as it terrified him, it was his best option. He had some doubts as to Kirk’s continuing not to hit him, Alpha’s tended to want to correct their Omega’s after all, but he had no doubts as to what _else_ Kirk would want after they Bonded. Kirk was Alpha, Sulu was Omega, it was in the captain’s DNA to dominate and claim what was his. Sulu was under no delusions that Jim would be content with anything less than sex.

Hikaru would more than willingly suffer through pleasing Kirk, even pretend to enjoy and want it, if it meant avoiding even the slightest chance he’d be reassigned. Given to someone more like Jameson.

It didn’t occur to him that Kirk might refuse.

Sulu twitched slightly as Kirk’s hand touched his neck, but forced himself to remain still. He couldn’t meet Kirk’s gaze, simply held himself still and waited for the Alpha to move, to bite, to claim and take what he wanted. It was so similar to the first time he’d met the Alpha, his heart pounding so hard it hurt.

“Easy, Sulu. It’s okay. I’m not gonna do that. I won’t hurt you.” Kirk assured, sliding from the couch to kneel in front of Sulu, putting himself on the pilot’s level. He was so confused, but pushed it to the back of his mind as he focused on Hikaru.

Hikaru was at a loss, unsure what to make of Kirk’s actions, panic threatening to close his throat. “I… I can.. I’ll do what… Please, sir.” Even Sulu wasn’t sure what he was asking. He was terrified and desperate, chasing after the only thing he could see as a safety. Kirk wouldn’t purposefully hurt him, he knew that. It was the whole reason he was offering this.

Kirk felt sick at the fear coming from Sulu, the resigned determination. He didn’t know what Hikaru expected, what he was trying to do here, didn’t think he wanted to know. “Sulu…”

“I can be good. I can be a good Omega, if you let me try.”

“Easy, Sulu. Calm down. I know you are, you don’t have to prove anything. Where’s this coming from?” Kirk interjected gently.

“I can’t- If something happens, if they get away with- What if they transfer me? Move me to a different post, to a different Alpha? Or take me back to that… place, again. I can’t… They can’t do that if I- Even if… they reassign me, and the… my new Alpha isn’t…like J-Jameson, they’ll want…” He was having a hard time breathing evenly, knew he wasn’t making any sense. He just wished he could get the words out instead of these choppy, uneven string of words. He’d never wanted it, but he’d do it. He’d let Kirk use his body if that’s what it took.

Sulu knew it was in stark contrast to what he’d thought only days ago. Down in that compound, he’d been determined never to be under another Alpha, determined to run away before that happened. But… Kirk and the Enterprise had come to find him. If he were to vanish into some dark hole again after leaving, he wouldn’t have that. He’d still be stuck there.

Slowly, uneasily, he glanced up, meeting Kirk’s eyes for the first time. Forcing down the fear, the nausea in his stomach, Sulu shifted forward carefully, pressing closer and softly kissing Kirk. Sulu might not have a desire for sex, or an interest in that type of intimacy, but he wasn’t an idiot and he knew how to please an Alpha. He’d caused enough problems for Kirk, taken enough of his time and attention, Sulu knew he needed to do _something_ to convince the captain to let him stay.

Sulu moved forward slightly, fully ready to straddle Kirk’s lap if it came to it. He wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or terrified when Kirk responded, returning the kiss with every bit of the gentleness Sulu had initiated. He was trembling as he pulled back slightly, breaking the kiss and trying to control his breathing. Wordlessly, he repeated the offer, tilting his head to bare his throat to the Alpha.

Kirk chuckled, Sulu tensing at the strained tone underneath the sound. Sulu held himself as motionless as he could, wincing when Kirk leaned down to scent his neck.

“It’s not that I’m not flattered,” Jim spoke evenly, words slightly muffled against Sulu’s neck. “But you don’t have to do this. You don’t want it, that much is obvious. And I’m not going to be like that b-.” Kirk cut himself off at the frightened sound from Sulu, dialing back the anger that had crept into his voice. “Like Jameson. I won’t force you. Even when you’re asking, because it’s not what you want.”

“Y-you don’t… I…” Sulu felt like his brain was short circuiting, unable to process Kirk’s restraint.

“Hey, it’s fine, just relax.” Kirk assured, tugging the unresisting pilot to move off his knees and onto the sofa next to them. Surprisingly, Sulu lay back, dragging Kirk nearly on top of him.

“You can do what you want, its… it’s fine, sir.” Sulu felt so disconnected, which wasn’t a problem for him at the moment. It made the words come easier, would keep him somewhat relaxed.

“I’m not opposed the idea.” Kirk admitted, shifting so he wasn’t on top of Sulu, but rather laying beside hm. It left Kirk balancing precariously on the edge of the couch, but he hoped maybe that would make up for how it left Sulu crowded in the middle. “But not now. Not like this.”

Sulu lay against Jim, trying to process what the Alpha was saying. He was too confused as this turn of events to care when Kirk nuzzled closer to him, arms tightening in a protective hug around him, muttering an assurance Hikaru didn’t hear. Honestly, Sulu’d expected to have been in the bed at this point, well into the process of forming the Bond with Kirk.

Hikaru’s back was pressed against the couch, Kirk all but blanketing him with the way he was curled so close, and yet Sulu wasn’t afraid. Uneasy and confused, but not afraid. He’d basically thrown himself at the Alpha, begged him… He shuddered reflexively, pressing his face into Kirk’s shoulder when Jim curled closer in response. Jim had told him no, refused to do that. Hikaru curled into Jim, holding on tightly and choking off a desperate whine.

“I got you, it’s fine. You’re safe.”

_Safe_. This was Kirk, not Jamison, not those techs down in that place. This was Jim, who’d spent weeks patiently reassuring him, and had just refused what was essentially a blank check for anything he might want out of Sulu.

Slowly, the tension bled out of Sulu, the pilot relaxing beside the Alpha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta get worse, before it get's better. But soon we shall see the /real/ Hikaru Sulu.


	63. New Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Back with another update, you lucky things!   
> This chapter is a bit shorter, but it felt like a good stopping point, so there it is.

Sulu was relaxed as he woke, stretching lazily. He rolled over, blinking his eyes open and taking in the soft light of the room. He paused, brow furrowing, momentarily confused finding himself on a couch instead of his bed. Ah, he remembered, he was in Kirk’s quarters. He was too comfortable, still almost floating from the memory of the Alpha’s somewhat unspoken promise of safety and protection from the night before.

If he weren’t so relaxed, it might have been surprising to him how little of a reaction he had to still being in the captain’s quarters. The alpha was nowhere in sight at the moment, so Sulu curled back up, closing his eyes with every intention of going back to sleep. It was too early to wake up. Not that he had any idea what time it actually was.

He heard the door chime, mildly wondering if that was what had woken him a moment ago, followed by the sound of Kirk shuffling out of his bedroom to go answer it. Sulu didn’t budge, unable to muster the energy to get up and more than willing to let Kirk deal with whatever it was. Instead, he burrowed all the more into the cushions, grumbling a near silent complaint. He grabbed a spare pillow, cuddling it to himself, stubbornly refusing to wake up.

Kirk was uncharacteristically out of it this morning. Unsurprisingly, he hadn’t slept that well. He was slower than he wanted to be going to answer the door, giving whoever it was time enough to ring the chime a second time. He slid opened the door, becoming more alert at the concerned expression, bordering on panic, covering Pavel’s face.

“Keptain.” Chekov didn’t give him a chance to say good morning, launching into his question immediately. “Karu vas supposed to meet me zhis morning. I zhought he owerslept, but he vasn’t in his room when I checked, so… Is he here?”

“Yeah, he’s..” Kirk waved Chekov in. He’d seen Hikaru on the couch still, so he knew the pilot hadn’t snuck away while he was asleep. He had considered the possibility of that last night, when he’d gone to his own bed. Jim hadn't wanted Sulu wake up and find himself blanketed by one overly cuddly Jim Kirk, so he'd left him alone once he'd been sure the Omega was sleeping peacefully. The last thing he’d wanted was anymore misunderstandings.

“Over there.” Jim gestured towards the couch as he turned and headed to his room with a mumbled ‘be back in a sec.’ Now that he was awake, he should definitely go and get ready for the day.  
Chekov nodded, biting his tongue and waiting for Kirk to vanish into the bedroom before heading over to the couch. He was hesitant as he approached, gaze flickering over Sulu’s curled up form. Chekov didn’t see anything that looked like an injury, so didn’t think Sulu was hurt. Pav felt guilty almost immediately after thinking that, glancing towards where Kirk had gone before turning back to his friend. “Karu?”

Pavel hopeful tone was met with an unhappy grumble, Sulu curling closer to the pillows. “It’s too early, Pav…”

Chekov grinned at that, tense shoulders relaxing as the unease and worry melted away at the playful sleepy tone. “Karu, it’s after noon.”

“Lies and shenanigans. It’s still dark.” Sulu retorted teasingly, doing his very best not to laugh.

“Zhat is because your eyes are closed.” Chekov sat down on the couch, smiling to himself as Hikaru shifted to lean against him, though the pilot refused to actually sit up.

“Details…” Sulu muttered, humming happily when Chekov ran a hand through his hair. He was fully awake by this point, but far too comfortable and content to want to get up. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so content.

Chekov couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking his head. He hadn’t seen Sulu so relaxed and playful in years. This was the Sulu he wanted back, the one he wanted Kirk and the rest of the crew to get to know.

Sulu’s shoulders went a little tense as Kirk came back into the room, the pilot opening is eyes to watch the captain. Kirk flopped down on the loveseat with a huff, throwing one arm over his face to cover his eyes. “It’s too early…”

This drew a chuckle out of the other two officers, Sulu relaxing again and even shifting to lay on his back. Hikaru wriggled a bit to lay his head on Chekov’s leg, looking up at the navigator. “You coulda at least brought some coffee, maybe breakfast. Or coffee.” He joked, giving Chekov a cheeky grin.

“Karu, it’s _noon_.” Chekov laughed, shaking his head.

“Lunch then?” Kirk offered, a grin on his lips as well.

Chekov threw his free hand up in surrender, muttering in Russian, though there was a smile on his face. Wasn’t _he_ supposed to be the youngest one on the ship?

Jim laughed at Pavel’s antics. The light atmosphere in the room was like a breath of fresh air. Kirk knew he would need to talk to Sulu about what had happened last night. Address the pilot’s worries and concerns when he wasn’t fresh from reliving that hell, half dropping and incoherent.

Unfortunately, right now, Kirk needed to get to the bridge and deal with a few day-to-day captain duties and Sulu, if he remembered correctly, was due to speak with Jeff. He stretched with a light groan, sitting up and grinning at the other two. “Much as I would love to sit around, I’m due on the bridge.”

Chekov nodded, his mood dropping somewhat realized his shift was supposed to begin as well. He glanced down at Sulu, reluctant to make Karu move and possibly disrupt his friend’s good mood. “I should be getting to my post as vell.”

“Actually, Chekov, Ensign Iary is going to take your shift at navigation today. Keep your comm with you in case there is an emergency though.” Kirk decided suddenly. Iary had been studying the post of navigation for a while, branching out from her current field of science. Putting her on duty would not only allow her the benefit of experience, but would free Chekov to hang out with Sulu. Considering the rough past few days, Kirk was certain Sulu would appreciate it.

Chekov’s face lit up and he grinned. “Aye, sir. Zhank you!” He smiled down at Sulu who was still half laying on him. “Come on zhen, let’s go get your ‘breakfast’.” He giggled at the joke, poking his friend gently.

Sulu chuckled and stood up, shaking his head as Chekov enthusiastically jumped to his feet, happily leading the way out. Kirk had just made the kid’s day. Sulu paused on his way to follow the Russian, glancing over to Kirk. To be honest, he was a little embarrassed about last night now that he had a clear head. The captain didn't appear to be concerned or bothered by it, and had given Chekov the day off. It didn't take a genius to put it together that it was mostly for his benefit.

Wanting to express his gratitude for Kirk’s help, Sulu caught the Alpha’s gaze, holding it more easily than he thought he would, and gave him a small smile. “Thanks, Jim.” Biting his lip to suppress a flicker of unease that he may have overstepped his bounds, despite the one time permission and assurance that it was alright to call the Alpha by name, Sulu turned and hurried after Chekov.


	64. Normal is a Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, but hurray for a new chapter. See? Comments give me the kick I need to post more chapters.  
> I debated for a while posting this, and I'm still not 100% sure about it... but here it is anyway.

Hikaru was quiet, expression so carefully neutral that Chekov knew there was something bothering him. There was a worrying tremble to the pilot’s hands, just the barest twitch of the man’s fingers that spoke of some stress or apprehension going through the Omega’s mind.

Pavel bit his tongue, stamping down on the flare of worry/concern that filled him. Even having been away from his friend for two years, even knowing with such certainty that no one on this ship would _ever_ harm him, he couldn’t help the automatic reaction. It was almost second nature to worry about Hikaru.

Sulu was hiding the stress he was feeling, but Pavel could tell it was different this time. He was hiding it, but at the same time not. Back on the Indiana, Sulu would have been joking, forcing a laugh, or talking nonstop to cover whatever it was that had him wound so tightly. He’d have done something, anything, to keep Chekov from asking questions, but now he was just… quiet. It was as good as an invitation.

They turned a corner in the corridor, the tension in the Omega garnering some concerned glances from passing crewman. Chekov took in a slow, quiet breath, determined not to let the subtle opening pass by. He ignored the fear that he’d get another lie, another platitude, hoping instead that Sulu’s new openness with him would continue. Hoped he would be able to help this time.

“Karu, vhat is wrong?”

The question, spoken so softly and quiet with concern, still caused Hikaru to flinch slightly. He offered Chekov an apologetic smile, shaking his head once. “Nothing, I guess…” He trailed off, pausing for a moment as the smile turned into a frown. “I mean… it’s frustrating, because he’s not angry, but I’m still worried that he is, but I know he isn’t. And nothing makes sense.”

Sulu came to a stop, eyeing the few other crew passing to and fro down the corridor. He moved to put his back to the wall, feeling far to defensive and out of place, the peace and ease from before feeling so far out of reach now.

Chekov shifted his weight from foot to foot, wishing he could help but feeling completely out of his depth. “Zhe keptain? Vhy vould he be angry?”

Sulu ran a hand down his face briefly, trying to settle himself and failing miserably. “I called him Jim. Called him by name, not his title like I… He’d said it was fine, and… and I know he meant it, not like…” Stupid. So stupid. He was getting more tense, thoughts circling around the way it went, the way it should have gone, would have gone.

Huffing out a frustrated sigh, Sulu continued, trying to explain.

“Two and half years. You wouldn’t think that little bit of time would override everything I learned and took for granted before that. Like speaking an Alpha’s name. But it _did_ , and I hate being so fu-… I shouldn’t be afraid, because it’s different, but it doesn’t completely _feel_ that way. Not for some things. Not all the time.”

Two and half years. Two and a half years that had felt like an eternity. And, damn it, Sulu knew he wasn’t making much sense.

He was fine some of the time, most of the time. Maybe less than most of the time. He didn’t even know anymore. He felt like an idiot for having propositioned Kirk like that last night, never wanted to know Chekov’s reaction should he find out. The kid had such a high opinion of Kirk, deserved so far as Sulu had seen, and Hikaru didn’t want to hurt his friend because of his own disbelieving fear.

It had been closer to desperation, rather than fear, but it all amounted to the same.

Chekov smiled, a short helpless expression, reaching over to touch Sulu’s arm, pulling to pilot from his thoughts. He hoped the gesture lent some sort of comfort, relieved when his friend didn’t flinch or pull away. “But you seem to be doing much better, Karu.”

“I’m glad you think so.” Sulu scoffed, shaking his head lightly. “Most of the time I feel like it’s too good to be true. I mean, I know McCoy and Kirk are completely different, but it’s still hard. Almost surreal that those rules and standards that were so impossible on the Indiana with him… they don’t exist here.”

“Vhat do you mean?” Chekov questioned, shifting closer so that he was leaning against the wall with Sulu. He offered comfort in the only way he could, leaning his shoulder lightly against the other. It felt like that was all he did recently, asking short little questions. But if it helped, he wasn’t going to complain.

“I mean there were a lot of things I had to do, mostly not do, to keep Jameson at least somewhat pleased.” Hikaru tried to explain without going into detail. There would be more than enough detail in the next couple of days, he really didn’t feel like sharing it right now. Wasn’t sure he could, out here in the open corridor. “Just sometimes, here, it feels a little weird that the only expectations of me are to do my job well and follow all the normal Starfleet rules and regs.”

They were silent for a long moment, Chekov trying to really understand what Sulu was going through. He thought he understood. He’d felt somewhat the same upon arriving on the Enterprise. He’d expected to be met with the same sort of bitter jealousy many people on the Indiana had felt towards him. Judgmental with a sour sort of condescension thanks to his age. Sure, there were still a few people who felt that way here on the Enterprise, though they were far more tolerant that the Indiana crew, but the majority accepted him.

Hikaru let out a sigh, breaking the silence. “Man, I really feel dumb for feeling that way. I hate it, waiting for the other shoe. Like, I know it won’t drop, but I can’t stop waiting for it to happen.”

“I vish I could help somehow.”

Sulu looked up at Chekov, grinning. “Oh, come on Pav. You’re the only reason I made it this far. Without you as a friend, I’d have given up forever ago.” The grin faded into a more somber expression and Sulu looked down, unable to hold Chekov’s gaze. “I listened to your messages all the time, and I’m really sorry I didn’t respond to them. I just couldn’t…”

“It’s alvight.” Chekov hastened to reassure him, pushing down a flicker of his own guilt. He hadn’t known how much Sulu had relied on him, or his messages over the years. He’d been so close to just writing his friend off, of truly abandoning him. “You are here now, and zhat is vhat matters.”

“Yeah.” Sulu agreed, though his tone lacked the conviction that Chekov’s did. His fears from the previous night hadn’t completely faded, and he wasn’t all that certain that the end of this trial wouldn’t wind up with him shipped off, or even simply discharged from the fleet. Neither option was all that appealing, though if he were forced to choose, he’d just retire.

Having experienced the relative feeling of peace and safety here, having it taken away when he’d been at that compound, then getting it back again now… He didn’t think he’d be able to deal with losing it again. Not if he wanted to hold onto his sanity. Better to just be regulated to be a civilian. His experience at the hands of _those_ Alpha’s had been so much different. In line with what he’d been led to expect since presenting as Omega.

“Anyway.” Sulu stated with a long sigh, having more than enough of this line of conversation, though his change in topic wasn’t going to be too different. “I’m supposed to go talk to Jeffery. It shouldn’t take long, and I know it’s probably not your idea of a good day off, but I… If you want, you could… come with?”

Hikaru shrugged helplessly at Chekov’s confused look, eyes skipping to the side nervously. “You don’t have to, probably won’t want to hear it anyway, just… you know…” And he really, really hated how nervous and uncertain he was feeling, because this was Pav, his best friend.

Hikaru didn’t have long to worry. Chekov stopped the pilot from tripping over his words with a small smile, nodding with forced ease. He hadn't expected the offer, hadn't meant to worry his friend by hesitating. “Of course, Karu. I vant to help, anyvay I can.”

“Breakfast.” Sulu remembered, the barest hit of relief coloring his tone. Chekov had agreed, knew it would be difficult and likely painful, but had agreed nonetheless. He’d be there, and that’s what mattered. “Breakfast and then we’ll go meet up with Jeff.”


	65. Hard Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, another chapter I'm not in love with.
> 
> But I post in anyway.

Damn. What a start to the day.

Kirk leaned forward on his sofa, raking his hands roughly through his hair. He really didn’t know how to deal with what had happened last night. A part of him wished desperately for a vacation, the rest of him knowing the next few days were only going to be harder.

He really really hoped that there wouldn’t be a repeat of Sulu’s offer. The next few days wouldn’t be any easier for the Omega. Facing the crew and captain of the Indiana, bringing his complaints to the court.

Kirk groaned to himself, getting up and leaving his quarters. He really needed a distraction, and heading to the bridge would have to suffice. Not that he had any sort of concentration to do real work. Maybe he’d go talk to McCoy. Spock had enough to deal with, and didn’t really have that great a grasp of human emotions and actions anyway, so McCoy was it. He needed someone to bounce this off of, before it drove him crazy.

Jim wrapped an air of confidence around himself, putting the stress and uncertainty to the back of his mind as he walked down the corridor. He put on a smile, casually greeting the crewman he passed.

It was almost a relief to see Bones standing calm and unconcerned on the bridge. Probably taking a break from sickbay, for once, which was a good thing. Too bad Kirk was about to ruin that for him. But he needed to get this off his chest, couldn’t let this affect the crew or, god forbid, Sulu.

Kirk nodded his head towards the captain’s room, giving McCoy a look and then heading that way. McCoy lifted a brow but followed without comment.

“So…” Kirk began, sitting in his chair and waving McCoy to the other. “Not trying to be a gossip, but I could use some insight here.”

“I can guess who it’s about. What happened this time?” McCoy sighed, sitting down and slouching over. Dealing with the mind meld yesterday, compiling all the reports and evidence on his end, and taking care of the regular duties in sickbay had left him exhausted. More so than usual. Enough that he’d decided hanging out on the bridge for five minutes was a good idea.

For once he was looking forward to transferring some patients when they arrived at the Starbase later today.

“He dropped by my quarters last night, wanted me to make a Bond. What he said was more along the lines of him ‘being mine.’ He even kissed me.” Kirk dropped that piece of information on Bones with all the finesse of a sledgehammer.

He did manage a little tack, however, not going into detail of what Sulu had said and done. How hard the Omega had really pressed for him to do that.

McCoy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, though he managed to keep his jaw from dropping in shock. “Tell me you didn’t…” He ground out.

“No. Of course not.” Kirk frowned, insulted for a moment. But he could understand why McCoy asked. “It was harder than I would have thought, honestly. Sulu’s the first Omega I’ve ever met, and I don’t usually go for men, but just the scent, the taste, I-“

“Spare me.” McCoy huffed, cutting him off and adding after a moment. “I know what you mean, it was the same with me ex.”

Kirk nodded with a sigh, knowing better than to go any further on _that_ particular subject. He felt guilty even having those thoughts, that reaction, because, shit, look what Sulu’d gone through. He didn’t need that. But Kirk was only human. He’d never act on it, but it still left him feeling guilty.

“Obviously I refused, it’s clear he didn’t really want to. He was saying something about them reassigning him, or something.” Jim explained, letting out another sigh.

“Makes a certain kinda sense. Seeing how easily they snatched him away before, I can see how a Bond with you would give him a feeling of stability. Make it so they _couldn’t_ do that again.” McCoy reasoned unhappily.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

Leonard ignored Kirk, continuing his thoughts. “And we figured there’d be some kinda reaction after Spock’s little trick. Experiencing all that over again, even if it’s just like a heightened memory, ain’t no walk in the park.”

Kirk tilted his head in consideration, conceding McCoy’s point. “Yeah. Speaking of which, I should probably go check in on Spock.”

McCoy snorted, shrugging. “I’d say that nothing could get through that thick Vulcan skull, but from what little the kid’s told me…” He scowled to himself, liking neither the fact he was possibly feeling sorry for the Vulcan nor that he had been taken to referring to the Omega as ‘kid.’ He just looked so damn young with those puppy eyes. Damn stress was getting to him. That had to be it.

“C’mon.” Kirk told him, getting up. “I could use a minute to unwind, you look like you could use a drink, and we might as well drag Spock along too.”

McCoy scoffed, but followed Kirk out, across the bridge, and onto the lift anyway. He couldn’t deny it, for all that the idea of Spock joining them wasn’t all that delightful. He kept up the disgruntled guise through the ride, ignoring Jim when he commed Spock to join them.

Entering what had long ago been dubbed Kirk’s own private little lounge, McCoy made his way behind the bar. He bent down, digging around for a moment before coming up with a glass bottle of smooth amber liquid.

He set it down, pulling out a few glasses as well. McCoy lifted a questioning eyebrow to Spock as the Commander walked in. The Vulcan gave a miniscule shake of his head and McCoy shrugged. His loss. Bones poured himself and Kirk a drink, pushing the captain’s glass toward him before taking a sip of his own.

“Spock, come on. Join us.” Jim waved the first officer over before wrapping his hands around the glass in front of him. “I hear the mind meld was a success.”

Spock took the offered seat, one eyebrow arching elegantly at Kirk. Subtle had never been Jim’s strong suite, thought Spock could appreciate the man’s attempt at a delicate approach to the subject.

“I had previously held the belief that humanity had rid itself of its historical custom of cruelty and violence.” Spock intoned, only the slightest thinning of his lips betraying the toll his task had taken upon him. “It is… disturbing, seeing such blatant proof otherwise.”

McCoy frowned, throwing him a (mostly) mock annoyed glance as he took another sip of his drink. “I have mentioned how disturbing it is when we agree, haven’t I?”

Jim scoffed, mood lifting the slightest at the familiar sassy banter from McCoy. Spock’s face was as neutral as ever, but Kirk could see the confused exasperation, knew Spock was silently questioning the sanity of humans for finding humor during such a serious discussion.

“I take it you’ve had time to prepare your statement of events?” Kirk asked absently, twisting the cup between his hands. He knew the answer to that, of course. It wasn’t looking like Spock would rise to McCoy’s bait, however, and Jim didn’t think he could deal with an awkward silence right now.

Spock nodded once, carefully folding his hands together. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but the experience had been… harrowing. He had to give it to humans. They were resilient. “I have compiled my report and testimony. The complete line of events is available for review, if needed. I would prefer it be left up to lieutenant Sulu as to whether is be shared to any before the trial.”

Prefer. Spock had to smother to desire to frown. For all that the experience had lasted minutes only, the thoughts and feelings of a human, such strong emotions, were clouding his own careful control. It was not enough for him to consider himself compromised, only enough that he noticed.

Spock could compartmentalize the foreign memories well enough until he had the time to meditate, pull himself completely back under control. “We should be arriving at the starbase in approximately four hours.”

Both McCoy and Kirk cast a glance at him at the offered information, Kirk’s brow furrowing slightly. The statement lacked the usual precision that was so characteristic to Spock. Jim tapped a finger on his glass, taking a drink. He was concerned, but not enough to question the Vulcan.

“Spock…” McCoy began, tone low and colored in concern.

Jim pushed his glass away and stood up, cutting off whatever else McCoy’d had to say. “Guess I should get to the bridge then. It’s going to be nonstop meetings and lawyers one we dock. You two should get some rest while you can.”

Leonard frowned at Kirk’s retreating back, putting away the drink and glasses. He let out a low sigh, gaze drifting over to Spock, eyes narrowing at the too carefully constructed neutral expression. On the surface, the Vulcan looked as dispassionate as ever, but there was a certain tightness there. “That bad, huh?”

And there was that patented Spock look, eyebrow raised in silent contemplation as he rose to leave as well. He paused before turning, meeting McCoy’s level gaze for a moment. “Vulcans are not laden with emotions as humans are burdened with, thus we do not hate. But for this, I could, perhaps would, if circumstances had been different.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((*shamelessly mostly copying that little scene in Beyond. Because I can? Shut up, I liked that scene. Those two are adorable.*))


	66. Flashbacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the title of the chapter is enough to prevent too much confusion. Though, the longer I think about it, the more I realize how it might be more confusing.  
> Ah, well, I'm sure you'll figure it out.  
> My lovely friend who I bounce ideas off of to make sure I'm not insane, has been MIA for a while (I miss you Augs hope you is well comeback soon) so if this chapter seems out of place or weird, that's why. But it came up out of nowhere while I was being lazy in bed one morning, so what else was there to do but write it.

Sulu lay panting across the table, his back burning and throbbing. It was not small relief to hear Jameson putting the belt back on. Hikaru didn’t dare move, though, just lay still and tried not to tremble. It had been a minor mistake that had led him here, and Sulu hoped that Jameson’s ire had burned itself out. At least the Alpha didn’t seem to be interested in a more intimate punishment this time.

“You know I’m just helping you be a better officer.” Jameson commented, his tone almost gentle enough to sooth the Omega’s frayed nerves. Almost. There was an edge to the words, a hint of Alpha command.

Sulu had to choke of a cry as Jameson pressed his palm against the Omega’s back. The Alpha lifted his lip in a sneer, increasing the pressure and watching as the Omega’s breath stopped for a moment, then sped as he tried to cope with the new sensation. “You just keep your mouth shut. Do your job correctly.”

Hikaru shuddered at the words. Deep as he was, even the subtle hint of an order felt like chains around him. As if the shame and confusion, the rebukes from the CMO, weren’t enough to keep him silent. Chekov was the only one he would have trusted enough to tell any of this to, but he was gone and it was too late.

“You think I enjoy this?” Jameson asked, digging his fingertips into the skin and dragging it down Sulu’s back. He scoffed at the pained yelp, the few additional tears sliding onto the table below the pilot. “Well?”

Hikaru knew better than to answer that truthfully. He’d heard the slight edge of amusement at the questions, had suffered through more than one unearned beating being dolled out by a far too happy Alpha. A part of him knew that at times the Alpha enjoyed it, but another traitorous part of him believed that what Jameson said was true. He was doing it to make Sulu learn. He’d heard it so many times it was engrained in him, and believing it certainly was incentive to perform better, to avoid this whole mess in the first place.

“You’re trying to teach me, Alpha, make me better.” He answered instead, purposefully avoiding saying the word no. ‘No, Alpha’ would have been a shorter, easier answer, and he’d almost said it, but the hazily remembered pain and humiliation from three nights ago had given him pause. He clearly remembered Alpha telling him he didn’t get to say no, and he wasn’t sure where that line was drawn. More than once Jameson had given a half permission, then punished Hikaru for going too far. Sulu did not want a repeat.

Hikaru tensed as Jameson patted his head and stood up, waiting for Alpha to either continue where he’d stopped or drag him to the bedroom for more ‘bonding time’.

“I guess you’ve learned your lesson, you’re being such a good bitch. Get out of here, clean yourself up.”

Hikaru stood up slowly, whole body trembling in pain and a tense aching hope. Alpha was telling him to leave? Already? Sickeningly, Sulu was grateful to the Alpha. This would be the first night since the Bond that he’d been allowed to leave the man’s quarters without having to suffer through the Alpha fucking him.

He hesitated only long enough for Jameson to turn his back, then moved as quickly as he could to grab his shirt. At first, when he put the smooth material on, the coolness soothed the burning on his back. Leaving Jameson’s quarters and heading to his own, the shirt began to feel like sandpaper, irritating and painful.

Sulu had to grit his teeth as he made his way to his room, scrubbing his face when he remembered he’d been crying, and avoiding eye contact with anyone he passed. Before the door to his room had even shut all the way, he was pulling the offending material off, sighing at the cool air on his skin.

Hikaru knew better than to go to medical for his injuries. The other times he’d gone, the CMO had dismissed him, telling him that he’d upset his Alpha and how was he going to learn if he didn’t deal with it himself? It had made sense at the time, always made sense when Sulu was still half or all the way down in headspace.

During his more rational moments, Sulu had gathered a little supply of medicinal cream and painkiller for times like these. After using the cream to the best of his ability to reach, and taking the painkiller, Hikaru fell face down on his bed.

He was exhausted, glad Jameson hadn’t wanted anything intimate. The decision to put off showering until the morning was an easy one. He didn’t need to image how painful a spray of water would be on his back, he’d experienced it often enough. He didn’t feel filthy or dirty, not any more so than usual anyway, and all Hikaru wanted to do right now was sleep.

A soft chime woke him, a flashing light causing him to open his eyes some time later. He wanted to groan and cry at the indication of a message for him. Given the time, it could only be one person, and only for one reason.

Hikaru dragged himself out of bed, stumbling tiredly over to read the message. As expected, it was Jameson, the message a simple order for Hikaru to report to his quarters. Hikaru sat down at the desk, laying his head on his arms for a moment. He had a short amount of time, he should probably clean up. Jameson had told him to go do that, hadn’t he?

Yeah, he’d said that. Go clean up. Sulu closed his eyes as he remembered. He should definitely, probably shower before going… Jameson had… …

~~

The chime to the door woke Sulu with a start, the pilot jerking upright in confusion finding himself asleep at his desk. He pushed himself up, vestiges of sleep making his movements slow, and made his way to the door. Hikaru opened the door, eyes widening as he took a step back at the sight that greeted him.

Jameson was absolutely seething.

Before Hikaru even had a chance to move or speak, the Alpha was striding towards him. Jameson lashed out with a vicious backhand, shoving Sulu away from the door frame and further into the room. With an animalistic snarl, Jameson shut and locked the door, then whirled around and advanced upon Sulu with a glower.

Still reeling from the sudden appearance of the Alpha, Hikaru was wholly unprepared for the fist that connected with his face, the kicks that fell upon his stomach and chest when the punch had knocked him down. Blow after blow came, Jameson not caring where they landed.

Not wanting to be beaten to death, Sulu tried to defend himself, fight back enough to try and bring the man back to his senses, to get him to _stop_. It half worked. The blind rage left Jameson, a cold calculating fury replacing it. The Alpha grabbed Sulu, pulling him close before taking a fistful of the Omega’s head and forcing him to bare his neck.

“I let you off easy, and this is the thanks I get?” Jameson snarled angrily, breath hot and threatening on Sulu’s throat. “Stupid Omega bitch, can’t do anything without a constant reminder of your place.”  
Sulu let out a yelp, clawing ineffectually at the Alpha when he bit harshly at the still tender Bond scar. The physical pain hurt, a lot, but the pointed anger directed at Hikaru through the Bond was just as cutting. Sulu’s Omega instinct was to please, and it turned his stomach to have that used against him by Jameson.

The Alpha used his greater size to push Sulu back, forcing him to fall onto the bed. Instantly, Jameson pounced. He took advantage of Sulu’s disorientation, flipping the Omega to his front and pinning him down.

~~

There was so much blood. He’d thought he’d known Alpha’s temper, the pain it brought, but this… Alpha hadn’t been sated once he’d taken his pleasure, marking Sulu with his seed to “remind the bitch who he belonged to.” No, he’d decided to beat every inch of Sulu’s body, sometimes with his hands, mostly with his belt. Many of the welts on HIkaru’s had split, the skin breaking open and staining Sulu’s carpet red.

There was no way he would be able to treat these injuries on his own. He couldn’t move and even breathing was difficult. He’d probably bleed out before he recovered enough to try and deal with this. Maybe this was it though? Maybe Jameson would actually kill him this time.

“When I call you to my quarters, you show up. I think I’ve been lenient enough with you showing up late all the damn time, it’s obviously gone to your head.” Jameson told him, crouching down beside Hikaru. He grabbed Sulu’s hair, pulling the Asian’s head up enough so he could look into his eyes. “Don’t ignore me again. And don’t think I’m ever gonna let you off for being late again either.”  
Jameson scowled, shoving Hikaru’s face back to the carpet, and stood up. “Should just have you transfer quarters to mine…”

Sulu choked on a panicked breath at the muttered comment, agony racing through his body at even that small movement. It was bad enough he belonged to Alpha, he didn’t want to imagine living with him. With his own quarters, Sulu got at least _some_ respite.

Alpha was talking again, though not to him this time. Hikaru thought he heard him speak Huely’s name, but his head was spinning now, so he wasn’t sure. Time seemed to skid, and the next thing Sulu knew there was another voice, another pair of hands on him.

Then nothing.

It had been Huely, the CMO, that Jameson had called. Obviously he’d patched Sulu up, though hadn’t completely treated all of the injuries. That part Sulu remembered clearly, since he’d been clear headed the next time he’d awoken.

Hikaru couldn’t help but wonder what Jameson had told the doctor, or if he’d even had to give an excuse at all. Knowing what he did now, Sulu figured that Jameson probably hadn’t needed to provide an explanation. Or if he had, his excuse had been that he was teaching his pet Omega obedience.

“Hikaru. Hikaru!”

Sulu jerked back to the present, blinking over dully at Chekov next to him. “Sorry. Yeah, Pav?”

Pav shook his head, expression full of concern. “It’s alvight, but are you okay? You’ve just been staring at the wall for a vhile now. I vas vorried…” Karu had been quiet after leaving the meeting with Jeff. Chekov would have like to say it was uncharacteristically quiet, but for all that his friend had improved over the weeks on the Enterprise, Pav was still accustomed to Sulu’s reluctance to speak. It had been hours, however, and Hikaru had barely responded to anything, even now that they were safe in the pilot’s quarters.

“I’m okay, Pav. Just… lost in thought.”

That was certainly understandable. After sitting through the Sulu’s meeting with Jeffery, Chekov had plenty of his own thoughts to keep him occupied.

“Do you vant to talk about it?” Chekov offered, not certain he would be accepted. He could guess what it was that had Sulu so consumed and, considering the amount of talking Sulu had done with Jeff, he had doubts as to whether the pilot would want to rehash any of that again.

“It’s nothing, really. Just… sometimes… with how things are now, I just… notice how different I am. I was just, I used to be such a zombie in the mornings, but I’m not now. And I just got caught up thinking about the main reason why.” Hikaru shrugged lightly, looking down at his hands. “I didn’t mean to worry you, or get so lost in the past.”

“It is alright, Karu. Is zhere anyzhing I could do to help?”

“No. I don’t know. Sometimes I think I never slept over there. To scared about what would happen when…” Sulu shook his head, flinging himself onto his bed with a sigh. “It’s different here, but after two years, it’s almost habit. Waking up and actually being awake. Sometimes I still get that little jolt of adrenaline, can’t help but check and make sure I haven’t missed any messages, but… I think it’s getting better?”

Chekov nodded slowly, not completely understanding. If his friend thought it was getting better though, he was all for supporting that.

“Anyway, come on.” Sulu stated decisively, hopping up quickly. He was more than ready for a change of subject. He'd been stuck inside his own head for far too long, so the distraction was more than appreciated. “Let’s head to deck 5. We should be arriving at the station soon. I might not be on duty able to fly her, but I can at least watch while the ship docks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments extra appreciated this time round


	67. Trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd envisioned this starbase being around the size of a medium city? I guess?

Kirk spent the rest of the morning to afternoon on the bridge, typing away at a data padd and trying to organize his thoughts for the upcoming meetings, while also keeping track of the activity on the bridge. They would be taking advantage of the few days being docked to have some repairs done to the Enterprise. Doubtless most of the crew would be delighted at the unexpected shore leave.

The station might be a simple outpost, but it was something new and different from the same walls of the spaceship. They had the station on sensors but were still a good 45 minutes away. Plenty of time for him to finalize the shore leave schedule for his crew. Most of them were free to make the most of the unexpected down time. For Kirk and most of his senior officers, that wasn’t the case.

Jim had to meet with the admiral in charge of the station, a standard thing to occur when the Enterprise docked at any space station, but after that he needed to coordinate with the ones in charge of overseeing the trial. McCoy and Spock would be busy compiling their own arguments for the trial in the likely event they were called to testify. He hoped Sulu was holding up well, this whole procedure wasn’t going to be easy on the pilot.

Kirk focused his attention back to the present as they approached the space station. The pilot was experienced and competent, so he hardly needed Kirk’s help in maneuvering the ship into port.

~~

Chekov and Sulu watched through the observation deck as the ship slid smoothly into the dock. Hikaru found himself a little envious of the pilot, he just wanted so much for things to go back to normal.

Hell, he was glad there even _was_ such a thing as normal for him now. He wanted to fly the Enterprise, to feel that freedom and elation. Much as he tried to stay positive, he was worried about the outcome of this hearing and felt like he should probably enjoy the time he had while he could.

Kirk’s voice interrupted his revere, the announcement over the comms so familiar that Hikaru didn’t even need to pay attention to know what the captain would say.

“This is captain Kirk. We’ll be docked here at Starbase 36 for the next week for repairs and supplies. You will all have received your duty roster and scheduled leave time for the duration.”

Chekov stopped listening after that, he knew he had the rest of this day off and could check his schedule later, and turned to Sulu. “Do you vant to go check out zhe base? Ve hawe newer been here before, so eet vill be new to me too.”

Sulu bit his lip, hesitant. On the one hand, he did want to explore the station. It felt like it had been a million years since he’d had any sort of real fun. Shore leave hadn’t exactly been relaxing while he was stationed on the Indiana. It would be different here, he’d have Pav with him, and wouldn’t have to worry about pissing off a controlling Alpha. Besides that, it would be a perfect way to try and forget about the upcoming trial for a least a little while.

On the other hand though, he was uncertain about how safe it would be. The Indiana would be arriving at any time, if the ship wasn’t already here, and Sulu was worried about running into one of the crew. Most especially Leo or Huely, but he didn’t enjoy the thought of speaking with any of his old crewmates.

Chekov could see his friend debating within himself, looking a little like the side in favor of not going was winning. He bit his tongue briefly, then decided to throw caution to the wind. “I could inwite some of my friends? I hawe been wanting to introduce you to zhem, and zhey hawe vanted to meet you as vell.”

Pavel held his breath after asking, worried that he’d only be adding pressure and tension to Sulu’s decision. He _had_ been wanting to introduce Sulu to his friends. So far, the pilot was only really close to the captain and McCoy, only speaking to other crewmembers briefly and only when they started the conversation. Hikaru never seemed nervous or afraid during those times, but he definitely lacked the playful and outgoing characteristics that Pav remembered.

While the idea of meeting a whole group of friends was a little intimidating to Hikaru, it also sounded like a (vaguely) good idea. They would all be Beta, that much he was certain, so he didn’t worry at all about that aspect. And so far, all of the crew on the Enterprise had been polite, and even friendly, to him. And Chekov wouldn’t make friends with someone with a bad character, so there was little to no risk they’d have any sort of prejudice against him as an Omega.

The more he thought about it, convincing himself, the better an idea it sounded. “Yeah, actually. I think that’s a great idea, Pav.” Sulu agreed, giving the Russian a grin. Safety in numbers and all that. Bonus if one of those friends ended up being Scotty. He’d met and spent some time with the chief engineer, but it had all been work. They’d been so wrapped up in trying to figure out that device, and then there had been the argument with Leen, and during all of that he hadn’t thought befriending Scotty, or any of the crew for that matter, would have had any chance of succeeding.

It was odd to think about now, because he realized that, to a greater extent than he would have thought possible, he trusted Kirk, despite his tendency to still flinch away from the Alpha. At the time he’d met Scotty, however, he remembered liking the man, but just accepting that the Beta would eventually want nothing to do with him. So far, none of his initial expectations of Kirk or McCoy had proven true, so the rest of the crew on this ship were just as likely to differ from his expectations.

~~

Chekov almost got those bonus points. The first place they went from the observation deck was engineering. Chekov warned Hikaru that Scotty probably wouldn’t be able to go explore with them. The chief engineer had a long list of things he needed to get done before he’d technically be off duty and free to do whatever he wanted. He did promise to meet up with them after he was done though.

Hillary was their next stop, the young security officer who was somehow smaller than Chekov. She was bright and energetic, and Sulu liked her almost instantly. As it turned out, Hillary knew Harker, whose first name was Jenna apparently, and wanted to invite her along for the exploration as well.

The few other people Chekov led them too had to regretfully turn down the navigator’s invitation, having either already made plans or hadn’t yet finished their last few duties before getting off shift. Sulu didn’t mind and was perfectly happy with the group they had going. Hillary was fun and easygoing, he already knew Harker (however vaguely), and of course Chekov was fine.

Armed with a group of three, soon to be four once Scotty joined them, friends around him, Hikaru didn’t feel near so hesitant to wander Starbase 36.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly a filler chapter, don't hate me for it.


	68. The Day Before

Okay, so maybe going out exploring the station with only a group of Beta’s hadn’t been the best idea. Pav was the only one he really knew and was comfortable with, even if all of the others were perfectly friendly, and Hikaru was nervous and jumpy the instant they were off of the Enterprise.

He hadn’t realized how he’d come to view that ship as **safety** , despite the still present sense of unease at the number of Alpha’s on board.

Sulu would never admit it, because by that time they were making their way through the disembarkation center and Chekov was excited and eager to explore, but he wanted to just call the whole thing off. It took a lot of effort to act normal and going by a couple pitying glances he caught from Chekov’s friends, unless he was just paranoidly imagining that, he wasn’t entirely succeeding.

Hikaru couldn’t keep himself from constantly scanning the crowd, heart skipping a couple times when he thought he saw a familiar face.

“Hey, are you alright?” Harker whispered to Sulu when the group stopped briefly. Chekov and Hillary were gushing over some item at a tourist shop and Sulu hadn’t been able to force himself to get any closer to the outgoing and boisterous salesman.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Hikaru answered instantly, the words feeling like the lie they were. Still, he tried to put as much conviction and confidence in them as he could, not wanting to ruin the trip out. Stupidly, he found himself wishing McCoy or Kirk were there, though he knew that if one of them were he would be panicking for completely different reasons. Top among them would be worrying about pissing off the Alpha’s by dragging them hither and yon as the group explored the station.

Spock might have been a good choice to go with them. Hikaru figured no sane individual would start anything with a Vulcan nearby, especially one with rank of Commander (even though the rest of the group was in civies, Sulu couldn’t imagine Spock in anything but the uniform). Spock’s Alpha presence would be a buffer between all the strangers on the base, some of which would doubtless be Alpha, a thought that hadn’t occurred to him until now. He’d been too worried about the Indiana.

He wouldn’t have to worry about anger Spock either. Vulcan and all that. All of this was a moot point, however, because he would never have the courage to ask the science officer and it was too late now anyway. It’s not like he could go back to the ship and-

“Hey, Karu! Look vhat I got!”

Hikaru was snapped out of his revere for the second time today by Chekov’s voice. He smiled reflexively, the expression more nervous appeasement more than real joy at first. It didn’t help when he noticed Harker’s concerned look and even while listening to Pav’s excited explanation, Sulu wondered what the engineer was thinking.

Hikaru forced himself to focus on Chekov before the Russian noticed his unease and/or inattention, making sure to give the appropriate ooh’s and aah’s for the little bauble that the navigator had bought.

“Aren’t ya supposed to wait to buy souvenirs until we head back to the ship?” Harker teased, turning Chekov’s attention away from Sulu as the Russian made a face at her.

Hikaru gave himself a mental shake, following along automatically as the group began moving again. The chances of running into someone from the Indiana, or of something happening while they were out, was next to nil. There was no reason he shouldn’t just relax and enjoy the time with friends.

Though he wasn’t able to relax fully, Hikaru did manage to enjoy the time out. It was fun checking out some of the strange and exotic shops, as well as the more familiar ones that were typical of earth.

While perhaps not the healthiest way to cope, Sulu just ignored the unease that popped up from time to time. No, he was definitely _not_ seeing the same person in the past three shops, it was just stupid paranoia and he was determined to be normal for once.

It was a couple hours later, and they were standing in line to see an exhibit that the locals all recommended. Harker and Hillary had spotted some entertainer from earlier telling some story a few yards away and were trying to talk the other two into going to check it out, despite how they’d just stood in line for the last long while for the exhibit. Sulu didn’t particularly care to hear the story, going by the snippets he heard when passing it earlier, but Chekov was giving it a longing look.

So he pushed the Russian towards the girls, they hooked an arm around each of his, and Hikaru waved them away with a laugh at Chekov’s bemused expression.

He was perfectly fine with standing in line while they went and checked out whatever the story was. He could still see them, they weren’t far away, so he was surprisingly unworried. Someone behind him cleared their throat a few minutes later in an obvious attempt to get his attention, so he turned to find himself face to face with the person he’d seen multiple times throughout the day.

Hikaru jumped slightly, the only thing keeping him from backing away from the sudden appearance of the Alpha was the crowd. No doubt about it, this was the same guy he’d seen looking at him multiple times throughout the past couple hours. Just what the hell, was he cursed or something?

“Hey, sorry, didn’t mean to sneak up on you. You mind if we talk, for a second?” The Alpha asked.

Sulu tensed, casting a quick glance around but his group was too far away, and he worried about what this Alpha would do if he tried calling out to them. The man wasn’t _doing_ anything, hadn’t said anything threating or inappropriate to him yet, so it would be overreacting to panic now. Except he was panicking, a little, because that reasoning was not very convincing.

“I, Uh..” He stalled, trying to think of a polite reason to refuse that wouldn’t offend this random stranger. He glanced over at Chekov, hoping whoever it was they were talking to would wrap up their apparently fascinating story.

“We can talk here, I just wanted to ask you away from your, uh… friends.” The Alpha was speaking again, HIkaru turning his attention back to the man, puzzled this time. The way he’d said ‘friends’ was disbelieving. “Look, I just wanted to ask if you were okay?”

“What?” Sulu was completely at a loss, still nervous and uneasy with this Alpha so close to him, but now he was also extremely confused. This conversation had taken a completely different turn than what he’d been expecting.

“I don’t mean to pry, and I’m probably the worst person to be asking because I’m.. well, anyway. But I saw that mark, and well, the scarring isn’t exactly normal, indicative of an unhealthy relationship technically, and you seem really jumpy and that’s a sign too, and I couldn’t just ignore it, but I couldn’t ask you because of those three around you, because I didn’t want to cause you any more problems with whoever did that.”

The man finally stopped for breath, looking at Sulu. Probably wanting an answer or a denial, Hikaru figured, but all he could do at the moment was stare. The guy had said it all in a rush, but still quiet enough that Hikaru was certain no one else around them would have heard. The Alpha was being considerate and had a look of genuine concern and Sulu didn’t know what to think about that.

It was one thing that McCoy and Kirk, and maybe even Spock, were concerned about his well being. He was part of the crew and beyond that was close to Chekov. Kirk and McCoy cared because they’d formed a bond with Chekov, and since Chekov and he were basically family, it made sense that they would, by extension, care about him. Yes, they were decent and good human beings, and that definitely helped.

This guy didn’t know him in the least, but he had just spent the last couple hours tailing their little group (was it possible to say “I told you so” to yourself, because damn when would he learn to listen to his instincts?) to ask him if he were alright. Hikaru wasn’t sure whether that was creepy or heroic. Maybe a bit of both.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I understand, especially if talking to another Alpha gets you in trouble. I just want to let you know there are people out there that can help. The Federation has organizations devoted to helping Omega’s out of bad situations.”

Sulu was even more confused for a moment before remembering he was not, currently, in his Starfleet uniform. Come to think of it, that’s probably why the Alpha had been able to see so much of the Bond scar as he had. His t-shirt didn’t cover up as much as the higher collar of his uniform.

He was still in a sort of shock as the man offered out a folded paper with some numbers and a name written on it. Hikaru took the paper from him, feeling almost detached from himself as he did so. After a second, the Alpha gave him a half little smile, wished him luck, then turned and made his way off into the crowd.

Sulu stuffed the paper into his pocket, turning around and trying to piece himself back into a functioning human being now that Chekov and the others were coming over.

What the hell had just happened?


	69. The Night Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter. I don't really like the Chapter title. I feel the same for the previous chapter title. As soon as I figure out a better name for both, I shall fix them. But here, have the chapters anyway.

Sulu did his best to pay attention as they walked through the exhibit he’d so patiently waited in line for, but he couldn’t seem to stop thinking of that encounter. On the one hand, it made sense, because decent people existed. He knew that, just hadn’t noticed how much he’d gotten used to there not being any around him.

Oddly enough, it made him realize that he’d been seeing Kirk and McCoy as the exceptions, not Jameson. He gave a small shudder, even the simple thought using his old Alpha’s name instead of title sent a tendril of unease running through him. He had to consciously remember that he didn’t need to look around to see if Alpha was there to catch him with his disrespectful thoughts.

Earlier, he’d glanced at the paper once while the others had been distracted, enough to read the organization name written there. He recognized it as a legitimate Federation organization, so the man had been sincere and not just trying to trick him or something.

Hours later and it was still something he was mulling over, staring dully at the fountain at the plaza closest to where the ship was docked. Chekov was counting the coins at the bottom of the fountain for some reason, something to do with the plaque describing some old earth custom, and Hillary and Harker had wandered off for the moment.

That left Hikaru free to ponder the current mystery, until a familiar voice caught both his and Pavel’s attention.

“Hey, guys. Enjoying the time off I see.”

Jim was walking towards them with a grin, having just stepped off a transport pad.

The paper in Sulu’s pocket felt like a weight to Hikaru all of a sudden, and he felt vaguely guilty. That Alpha from earlier had been right, in way. Just talking to another Alpha would have meant hell to pay with Jameson. Sulu knew Kirk wasn’t the same, but he couldn’t help the little skip of adrenaline fueled anxiety at having Kirk show up so unexpectedly. Distantly, he wondered if there would ever come a time he _wouldn’t_ get anxious at the appearance of an Alpha.

Chekov turned ‘round at Kirk’s voice, grinning widely. His enthusiasm for being out exploring the base, best friend with him, had not diminished in the slightest. “Keptain! I did not expect to see you here!”

Kirk laughed at the jubilant greeting. “I just got out of the day’s scheduled meetings, was heading back to check on the Enterprise. What are you two up to?”

Sulu let out a quiet, slow breath. It was just coincidence that Kirk showed up, nothing else. He’d been busy with his own schedule, Abbey had also been obligated to attend the same sort of meetings whenever they docked at a Federation outpost. Sulu, Chekov, Hillary, and Harker had all come to this central plaza to wait for Scotty, it was completely reasonable that Kirk happened across them. The captain had better things to do with his time than check up on the sole Omega in the crew.

Definitely nothing strange going on at all, but damn did Hikaru feel out of sorts today.

“Hey, Sulu, you alright?”

Hikaru blinked, realizing he’d been too lost in thought to pay attention to the conversation. “Yeah, yeah, sorry, I’m fine.” He apologized, giving the two of them a smile. Neither looked like they really believed it.

“If… if you’ve got some time, later, could I… I had, have, something I want to ask about, sir?” Sulu asked, feeling so very awkward and weird. Both Kirk and Chekov were wearing matching expressions of confusion and concern and Hikaru felt guilty for having been the cause.

“Yeah, of course. I’m done with meetings for the day.” Kirk agreed easily.

“Do you vant to go back to zhe ship now?” Chekov offered.

“No.” Sulu answered automatically. No, if there were going to be a negative reaction to talking with another Alpha (stupid this was Kirk, there _wouldn’t_ be) then he wanted to put off that discussion. It was calming enough to know he’d get an answer today, even if he couldn’t get himself to completely believe that answer wouldn’t involve anger. “No, let’s stay. Scotty’s probably on his way to join us, we should at least have lunch. Or dinner, considering the time.”

“Alright, well I’m just going to be pretending to take it easy while I go over some reports and ship logs, so just find me whenever, alright?” Jim waited until he got a nod from Sulu, then gave Chekov a pat on the shoulder and a grin before walking off toward where the Enterprise was docked.

Hikaru watched him go, avoiding meeting Pav’s eyes. He knew his friend would be able to see through him now that the young Beta was looking. Sulu didn’t want to try to explain right now, wasn’t sure he could to be honest.

Instead, he grabbed at the distraction so conveniently presenting itself and waved at Scotty who had just walked out of the building to the ships docks. Chekov didn’t look completely convinced, but he let the issue drop now that Scotty had joined them. Not too long later and the girls returned to join them and Hikaru let himself be swept up in the group’s excitement and energy.

The rest of the day just seemed to fly by. Sulu almost felt outside of himself, making small jokes here and there throughout the meal and smiling at the delighted look on Chekov’s face when he did so. In next to no time, the group was headed back to the Enterprise.

Scotty, Harker, and Hillary planned to go back out and enjoy the base for a while longer, but had agreed to walk back with Sulu and Chekov. The whole way back, Sulu worked on convincing Chekov to go explore some more with the others. They were his friends and he should spend time with them. It wasn’t Pav’s job to babysit a high-strung Omega.

After having watched Pav out today with the others, Sulu could say without a doubt that he was more of a burden to his friend than anything else. He was exhausted, more emotionally than physically, so he had no interest in staying out, but Chekov was still bubbling with energy.

It took some convincing, but, given that Hikaru was basically heading immediately to meet up with Kirk, eventually Chekov came around.

Chekov had been having fun and had been so very glad that Karu had appeared to be having fun at times too. He wanted to hang out with Karu some more, but since he couldn’t do that, he supposed that he should spend time with the others. He had just been feeling guilty about neglecting them… In any case, Karu would be with the captain for a while most likely, so Chekov decided he would spend that time exploring the rest of the base with Scotty, Hillary, and Harker.

Hikaru waved Chekov back to the group and then headed back to the ship. He was close enough to the Enterprise now that he didn’t feel the same anxiety about being on his own. A few moments later and he was walking down the familiar white corridors. There were very few crewmen on board, unsurprising since the first day of docking was mostly the base’s computer systems running diagnostics on the ship. It only required a couple people to complete, so most everyone was out enjoying their time off.

Sulu paced around the corridor a couple times, building up his courage before making his way to the captain’s quarters.

He walked in when Kirk called, hesitating only briefly when Kirk waved him over to where the captain was messing with some reports on the couch. “Hey, how’d lunch go?” Jim asked, gathering up the data padds and moving over to his desk.

Hikaru trailed after Kirk, some of the tension seeping out of him at the casual question. The Alpha sounded honestly curious and Sulu appreciated the not so subtle attempt at keeping Hikaru from being uneasy about having come here.

“It was nice, fun. We went to some Italian bistro Kalderian mashup place. The food was… interesting, to say the least.” Hikaru answered, giving a half smile remembering. It was quick to fade, because he couldn’t stop thinking about why he had wanted to talk to Jim in the first place.

“So… this guy, an Alpha, came up to talk to me on the base.” Sulu began, some of the previous tension returning. He glanced away, worried, despite all previous evidence otherwise, that Kirk would be upset at this revelation. “He, uh, gave me this.”

Hikaru offered the note to Kirk, hand only shaking marginally when the Alpha reached to take it. “He didn’t do anything. He didn’t even say anything threatening or bad or anything. He just… he just said he wanted to ask if I was okay, then he gave me that, didn’t touch me or anything, and after that he just said good luck and left.” Hikaru hurried to explain while Kirk looked over the paper, not sure if he was trying to reassure himself or assure Kirk.

“It’s alright Sulu. Not a big deal at all. The organization on here is legit. It’s nice to know that there are people out there willing to try and help. And going about it the smart way, so it seems. From what you said, he took enough precautions that if I were someone to get upset about you being around another Alpha, I wouldn’t have had any reason to.” Jim grinned up at Sulu, offering him the paper back. It was obvious what Sulu was worried about. Jim’s solution to that was to keep his reaction the complete opposite. Easy enough to do, considering he honestly didn’t mind. So long as it was Sulu’s choice, the pilot could talk to whoever he wanted.

“Do you want to keep it?”

Still feeling completely off balance, Hikaru reached out to accept the paper. He knew he shouldn’t feel so blindsided, but a large part of him was still surprised and relieved at how laidback the Alpha was being about this whole thing. “R-right… Uh… before… before I try and just unwind, may I ask when the trial is going to start?”

Kirk’s smile wavered slightly, but he kept it in place. He knew that it was nothing personal, but it still stung a little hearing how hesitant and uneasy Hikaru was with asking him a simple question.

Especially as the answer to this particular question was something the Omega needed to know. There was no need for him to be wary of asking and it ate at Kirk. Jameson should _never_ have been allowed to cause such damage.

“Of course. You can ask anything you want, it’s fine. And the trial will begin tomorrow. I know it’s super short notice, but with the thing with the Kishi group, things have been kinda put in fastfoward.” Kirk told him, tone slightly apologetic.

“Thank you, sir… ah, Jim.” Hikaru corrected himself self-consciously, still nervous using the captain’s first name. “And, uh, fast is good, probably. The quicker it’s over with, the quicker I don’t have to worry about it.”

“That’s a good philosophy.” Kirk agreed with a nod.

“Yeah, let’s see if I can remember that tomorrow.” Sulu half laughed, shifting awkwardly. Both of them were silent for a moment, Hikaru studying the floor and gathering his courage before looking back up at Kirk. “You, uh, got any suggestions on how to unwind? It’s… been a rollercoaster of a day.”

“Some relaxation, I think I can manage that. C’mon, lemme show you something. Pike sent it to me for my birthday a couple years ago, it’s a pretty mindless game, but relaxing.” Kirk explained, heading to his bedroom.

Sulu lagged behind, coming to a stop at the threshold of the short hallway. He not really comfortable following Kirk there just yet, especially considering he’d just given Kirk free reign in picking the activity. Not that he imagined Jim would slam the door and reveal everything had been some long ploy and have his way with his Omega or anything, but Hikaru just he couldn’t get his feet to go past the hallway.

The captain didn’t seem to mind, didn’t comment at all, just reappeared a moment later with a small white box in his hands.

“It’s a really old earth game using a deck of cards.” Jim explained, waving the box slightly as he led the way over to the couch and coffee table. “It’s called solitaire, and apparently back when it was really popular, it gave mathematicians a hard time. They couldn’t calculate the odds of winning or something like that. The game is simple and easy to play though.”

The game _was_ simple.

Hikaru picked up on it quickly and the two of them sat playing the simple game together. The first couple games they took turns, then Hikaru slid over to sit closer to Kirk and suggested they team up and make it a game to see who could make the winning play.

Kirk was rewarded with a small smile from Sulu when he agreed to the idea. He had a feeling that the Omega needed the physical contact, and the two-player suggestion was just a cover for that. Either way, Kirk was more than happy to agree.

For Sulu, even having suspected that Kirk would be fine with the idea, he was relieved at the easy acceptance. Being closer to the Alpha made it easier to relax, let the simplistic monotony of the game sooth his worn nerves.

There was a chime at the door some unknown amount of time later, Kirk calling out for whoever it was to come in. The door slid open and the scent of Alpha fury rolled in like a cloud, giving Sulu the urge to bolt.

“You will not _believe_ what that damn son of a bitch just sent me!” McCoy was near snarling as he strode into the room. Hikaru flinched at the shout, pressing himself closer into Kirk without thought.

No matter how gentle and professional McCoy had been since day one, two years of being an outlet for an Alpha’s anger was impossible to get over so quickly. McCoy wasn’t just angry, he was downright pissed and Hikaru wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of there.

Sulu was still cowering into Kirk when McCoy made his way around the couch. The CMO stopping short and froze with his mouth half open in mid motion to continue his rant. There was a long stretch of silence, then Sulu decided he should take advantage of the opportunity to escape. Hikaru kept his eyes down as he stood up, shakily skirting around McCoy and fumbling though an immediately forgotten excuse to leave, then got the hell out of there.

Jim turned a look onto McCoy as Sulu bolted out the door.

Bones scowled at him, guilty but still far too annoyed and angry to show it. “Put a damn sock on the door or something next time then!” He snapped out defensively.

Kirk sighed loudly, throwing up his hands in defeat, knowing it would be a lost cause trying to argue how that wouldn’t apply in this case. “Alright, fine, who sent you what?” He asked, tone both parts exasperated and annoyed. Might as well blame this mysterious sender rather than McCoy.

“Huely. Idiot sends me a file labeled as Lt. Sulu’s medical records. Bah. Damn things don’t even BEGIN to line up with Sulu’s current physical condition, the residual scar tissue from past injuries, or even his damn blood type.” McCoy ranted, pacing back and forth. “Man calls himself a damn doctor. Does he honestly expect me to accept that load of crap as a proper record? It’s like he just copied and pasted someone else’s files, hoping to pass it off like he’d had em the whole damn time. As if anyone would be so damn stupid to believe it was some system error instead of his own negligence.”

Kirk shook his head with a laugh, hastening to explain when McCoy turned to glare at him with a scowl. “Obviously they’re worried. If he’s trying to cover it up this far into it, the night before the trial…” He trailed off with a short shrug, giving McCoy a smirk. “They have to know the evidence is against them and they’ve got no chance. As a last-ditch effort, it’s pretty terrible, and can probably be used against them.”

McCoy let out an annoyed huff, walking around and flopping down on the couch. “Doesn’t change the fact that it’s pure idiocy.”

“Yeah, but, come one, Bones. They’re practically digging their own graves. I say let em.”

McCoy gave Jim a suspicious narrow eyed look, lips pressed together in a thin line. “Just why the hell are you so chipper right now?” He knew Jim had a point and was probably right (not that he would admit that). So, a change of subject was in order.

Kirk laughed awkwardly. “I’m definitely an ass for feeling happy about this, because you definitely scared the hell outta him busting in here all pissed like that, but Sulu moved closer instead of backing away from me like he used to. Sorry I’m not all ticked off like you want, but he might just be starting to trust me and damn if that isn’t the best news of the day.”

McCoy was silent for a while as he gave Kirk an incredulous look, then rolled his eyes with a long-suffering sigh. “You’re right, that definitely makes you an ass.” He commented, relaxing back on the couch and smirking at Jim’s surprised laughter.


	70. An Unpleasant Morning

Sulu ended up in Chekov’s room.

He knew Pav would be back any time now, would probably go looking for him at some point, so this just saved time. Another benefit was that this was a fairly safe place to wait and think (not hide, he wasn’t doing that). He knew he would be too stressed to think in his own room (he’d only end up pacing and fretting over angry Alphas) but surrounded by Chekov’s scent he couldn’t help but calm down a little. This was home, this was family, his pack.

Away from the two Alpha’s, Hikaru felt a little foolish for his reaction to McCoy. It was true, he’d never seen the CMO so completely angry before. An angry Alpha was frightening enough just thinking about it, but somehow coming from someone he’d only ever seen calm and collected was worse. He hadn’t known what McCoy was capable of at that time, going by the doctor’s normally coarse attitude when calm he was calm, Hikaru had assumed the worst, and so had beat a quick retreat on instinct.

Looking back at the incident now, he felt ridiculous. Of _course_ McCoy hadn’t been angry with him, he hadn’t seen the doctor all day. How could he have possibly done something to anger him? He was studiously ignoring the many times with Jameson that such a thing hadn’t mattered. The more he could separate these Alpha’s from Jameson, the more he suspected he would have an easier, less worried and fearful, life.

That was actually probably a good idea, he thought. He should purposefully think about what he’d done and the affect it could or couldn’t have had on the Alpha’s, rather than basing it on what Jameson would have done. There were some flaws to that logic, because he wasn’t the best at determining when something was _actually _his fault, but it was a start.__

Hikaru curled loosely up on Chekov’s bed, already feeling much calmer.

Calmer, yes, but now he was also slightly worried. Not about himself this time, but McCoy. Sure, the doctor hadn’t been angry at him, but he _had_ been upset. And having Sulu skirt around him and run out so quickly probably hadn’t helped things. For reasons still difficult for Hikaru to completely grasp, both McCoy and Kirk were upset by his wariness of them. They hid it well most of the time, but he’d caught on.

Maybe he would find McCoy before the trial tomorrow, talk to him and make sure he was alright. He _hadn’t_ done anything wrong, it was that mysterious ‘him’ that McCoy had been snarling about.

Hikaru let out a tired sigh, grabbing one of the fluffy pillows and curling around it, making himself comfortable on the bed. He made sure to leave enough room for Chekov in case he fell asleep before the Russian showed up. The long day, and the crash from the adrenaline rush, were getting to him. He wanted to stay up and talk with Pav when he got back, both about what the kid had gotten up to with the others and about his own little adventure with the two Alpha’s, but he was warm and comfy and was slowly starting to drift off.

He was out before Pav returned, didn’t see how the Russian stiffened momentarily in worry, but soon relaxed. The young Beta gave the pilot a fond, contented look, then curled up beside him to sleep as well.

~~~

Pav was awoken abruptly and in a way that he never wanted to be woken up again. Once was more than enough. Chekov didn’t think he’d _ever_ forget the first night on this ship that Sulu had slept over in his quarters. How could he forget how his friend had cowered away from him, had been afraid of him. It was burned into his mind.

This was so much worse.

Hikaru was thrashing around, crying out in a desperate tone. Pavel was too disoriented to register what he said, but the desperate tone had him sitting up immediately, heart freezing in his chest. At his movement, Sulu flinched violently and went quiet, but a moment later and Sulu was clinging to him, holding him tighter than he ever had before. Chekov could feel hot tears dampening his shirt and it scared him. Sulu wasn’t just crying, he was sobbing, babbling unintelligibly into his chest.

Automatically, Chekov wrapped his arms around the pilot. He wasn’t sure who was trembling harder, himself or Sulu. He was confused and in a good amount of shock. His heart was pounding so hard. His chest was tight and he felt like he could only barely breathe, but he wasn’t about to move or complain. Karu was desperately upset and Pav would do anything to help him feel better.

Chekov knew Hikaru had problems. Probably knew better than anyone that he did. He’d listened to anything and everything that Hikaru had felt comfortable sharing, had sat through the meeting Hikaru had with Jeffery after all, but he hadn’t understood. He hadn’t known it had been this bad, that the pilot’s thoughts and fears plagued him even at night.

He should have known. He should have, and he hated himself that he hadn’t. Pavel had wanted, had made himself believe, that the last time had been a fluke. Hikaru had just found himself in a completely different situation, had been upset and afraid of Kirk. Doctor McCoy had called that a flashback, and it hadn’t happened again, so Chekov had not worried.

Maybe it was for the best that he hadn’t know, but he still should have been there.

How many other late-night nightmares and panic attacks had he missed? How many times had he left his best friend alone to deal with his fears, here on the Enterprise where he was supposed to be safe and loved? Hikaru didn’t often sleep over in Pavel’s quarters. Chekov could remember many times he’d gone to greet Karu in the morning and had found the pilot pale and shakey. But he’d let Sulu distract him. Had been reassured by how quickly his friend smiled and joked, invited him in or joined him for breakfast.

He should have known, and he felt oh so incredibly guilty for not picking up on it sooner.

At one point he was aware that he started to cry. He was trying so hard to stay calm and composed for Sulu, but he couldn’t hold them back. The best he could do was stay quiet, be there for his friend.

“It’s okay, you are safe.” Chekov tried to reassure Hikaru, his voice strained and thick with held back tears. He curled around Sulu as best he could, grateful that Karu was accepting of comfort, wasn’t pulling away from him like last time.

Pavel repeated the reassurance, running a hand gently through Hikaru’s hair in hopes of soothing the pilot back into a peaceful sleep. He expected Karu to become tense at the contact, expected him to flinch or maybe even shift away slightly, just like he had so many other times he’d come to Pavel for comfort.

Chekov did not expect the heartbroken whine, the full bodied shudder followed by a near perfect stillness. He wasn’t prepared for Sulu to beg. “Please, I’ll be good.”

Chekov pulled his hand back like he’d been burned, choking on a sob at the fear in Hikaru’s voice, the way the Omega’s voice cracked. Something inside of him broke. He simply couldn't hold it back anymore and he cried right there along with his best friend. His heart shattered, as it had many times before when Karu hadn’t return his messages for so long, and when he had to watch the Asian struggle and flinch and be so scared in a place that was supposed to be safe. He curled up tighter around Sulu, because that’s what the pilot seemed to want and be unafraid of. He clung to Sulu tightly, burying his face in the pilot’s shoulder and sobbed.

When Sulu woke it was with a feeling of tense fear that was very quickly replaced by a terrified concern at finding Pavel sobbing into his shoulder. It wasn’t difficult for Hikaru to guess what had happened. He wasn’t able to remember just what he’d been dreaming about, only that it must have been really bad considering the tears on his own face and the residual tense fear in his chest. Whatever it had been, Chekov must have been awake to hear it.

Hikaru shifted slightly, hugging Chekov tightly, and Pavel must have sensed the shift in Sulu’s mood and wakefulness, because a moment later and he was speaking. Hikaru wasn’t able to understand all of what Chekov was saying, some of it was in Russian, but he did pick up the apologies.

“Hey, Pav, it’s not your fault. It was just a dream, I’m fine.” He paused for a half a second, noticing how strained and scratched his voice was at the moment, and knew that wasn’t going to be a good argument to try and make.

“But it should not hawe been zhat vay. You should not hawe been alone, I should hawe been zhere! Ewen here on zhis ship, I am useless! A horrible friend!”

“No, you’re not, Pav. You’re what’s held me together this far, remember? I told you that. You’re all the family I got. I… I know it’s all crap right now, and…” Hikaru’s voice dropped, his arms tightening slightly around Chekov. Sulu’s tone was tinged with guilt as he continued. “And I’m sorry you had to deal with this. I’m sorry I hid it from you too, I just didn’t want to burden you anymore. And it’s gotten better, they’re not nearly as bad anymore.”

Chekov’s sobs had quieted as Sulu spoke, and the navigator was nearing calm until the last part. Chekov lifted his head, red rimmed eyes looking up at Hikaru with an almost horrified expression. “Zhey hawe been vorse?”

Ah, dammit, he’d backed himself into that one. Sulu froze for a moment, unsure how to answer that. After a moment, he decided that _not_ answering was the only way to go. He pulled Chekov back into a tight hug, putting his chin on top of the kid’s curly red hair. “Look, Pav, I know it’s all crap right now, but things are gonna be okay. They’re gonna be okay, Pav, I promise.”


	71. Court Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know NOTHING about real court proceedings. Just fair warning. I’ve taken all of ONE law class in college, and it was business law, so there. All I know for mostly certain is the plaintiff goes first. And anyway, I’m basing this court make up from a half-remembered mix of both TOS and Next Gen. There were a couple of episodes of both of those were some case was made and stuff. Otherwise, I’m making it all up and it might be ridiculous and far-fetched, but I do the best I can. You don’t like it, I’m sorry. Law is not my forte. Honestly, I hadn’t planned on the story getting this far, or even writing the court parts, but here we are. Anyway, enough of my senseless rambling. On with the story!!

By the time Hikaru and Pavel had calmed from their rude awakening, it was well into the morning. After making sure Chekov was truly alright, Sulu gave him a small smile and stood up. “I should got get ready, and you too. The trial starts at 1100 today and all.”

Chekov nodded, giving Hikaru an encouraging smile and getting up as well. “Alvight, I’ll meet you at zhe transporter?”

“Actually, meet me in medbay?” Sulu suggested, pausing from where he was already heading towards the door. “I’m gonna go talk to McCoy first. I’ll have to tell you bout what happened later, it’s nothing big, I promise.” He explained after seeing Chekov’s confused look.

Pavel nodded in agreement, figuring that since Hikaru wasn’t upset about it, his tone was so flippant and unconcerned, that it wasn’t anything that had upset the pilot. Either way, Hikaru had promised to tell him later, so at least he’d be able to help probably if it _were_ something that bothered Sulu.

Hikaru headed out after that, making his way to his own quarters. The thought of the trial had his stomach in knots, but he focused on the here and now. On cleaning up, then meticulously going over his dress uniform and making sure each stitch was in place and tried to put the rough morning behind him.

It was enough of a distraction, and once dressed he focused on what he was going to say to McCoy. He was still somewhat worried about the doctor, hoped the man was in a better mood. The Alpha had probably talked it out with the captain, so hopefully whatever was wrong had been dealt with. His thoughts kept him busy enough that the walk to sickbay felt like no time at all, and with a deep breath he stepped through the medbay doors.

The doctor was in the main area of sickbay, sorting through some medicines Hikaru had no idea what they were. He hesitated a little approaching the Alpha, uneasy interrupting the doctor in his territory, but he was determined. “Hey.” Sulu greeted McCoy, feeling a little awkward about his whole reason for being here. “Are you okay, you were upset yesterday…”

McCoy scowled at that and Sulu had to suppress the urge to apologize. He hadn’t actually done anything wrong, damn it, of that he was positive. Thinking that didn’t help his nervousness, a traitorous part of him wondering if maybe it was somehow his fault after all, and he sincerely hoped his asking about it wasn’t about to make the Alpha’s previous rage return. He didn’t want to experience that twice.

“I’m fine.” McCoy stated gruffly, running a hand down his face with a sigh before turning and putting away the items he’d been messing with. He was a little surprised to see Sulu here, to hear the Omega expressing concern for him. He would have guessed the pilot would keep his distance, that he would be the one to come up to Sulu and smooth things over. “Just annoyin’ when someone tries to cover up incompetence with even more incompetence. No matter how useful it turns out to be in this case.”

Sulu tilted his head in silent inquiry, having no idea what McCoy meant by that statement. He was simply relieved that the CMO’s irritation had vanished as suddenly as it had appeared, though the man seemed almost exhausted now.

“I wasn’t mad at you, ya know.” McCoy added, looking Sulu over.

“Yeah, I… uh, figured that out later. I’m sorry I ran out like that, I just… Kinda used to a different outcome when someone’s pissed like that around me. I know you wouldn’t, just… panicked at the time. Sorry.” Hikaru explained, shifting his weight self-consciously.

“It’s fine.” McCoy snorted, moving over to his desk and picking up a data padd. ‘Someone’, the kid said. McCoy knew exactly which someone he meant, knew Sulu really could have put the word ‘Alpha’ there and it would have still been true. And probably more accurate to what the pilot meant. “C’mon, let’s go before Jim comes in here complainin’ bout us being late.”

As if he’d summoned the captain, the doors to the medbay hissed open and Kirk came through. Like the other two, he was in his dress uniform and was wearing a serious expression. Spock was flanking him, looking the picture of calm as always.

The three of them together was… just about as intimidating and unnerving as Sulu remembered from the last few times he’d been around the trio. Individually he was _almost_ comfortable around them, but he still felt jumpy and nervous around more than one Alpha at a time.

But then Chekov was there looking bright and chipper, though Hikaru could tell at least some of that exuberance was forced. He appreciated it all the same, quirking a half smile at the Russian as the group headed out of sickbay and off the ship.

~~

Sulu wasn’t sure what, exactly, he’d been expecting walking into the makeshift courtroom. His stomach was still in knots, but it eased slightly upon seeing the four seats that was to be the council overseeing this trial. Behind those seats milled the high-ranking Starfleet officials, waiting for all parties to arrive to begin.

The crew of the Indiana, those involved with the hearing anyway, were already present as well. Captain Abbey and Lt. Huely were bent close together in some quiet, heated discussion. Their representative sat next to them, a peevish look on his face as he typed unhappily on a data padd. Leo was missing, and it caused Hikaru’s anxiety to increase rather than anything else.

He tried to ignore the worry of just _what_ the man might be getting up to and focused instead on where Jeff was sitting with his own data padd in hand. Sulu studiously ignored the Indiana crew as he made his way to his own seat beside the lawyer. Kirk, McCoy, Spock, and Chekov were with him, which definitely helped. It was a comfort, being surrounded with those that he knew were there to help, even if it was a bit stressful that three of them were Alpha.

~~

The beginning of the trial was straightforward, if extremely stressful for Hikaru. Not to mention humiliating. He knew it needed to be done, living with it quietly would have eaten away at him. And if the same had happened to another Omega due to his silence, Sulu knew the guilt would have likely destroyed him completely. Besides, whether he like it or not, he knew at this point it was far too late to turn back.

So, with his heart feeling like it would beat out of his chest at any moment, he took the center chair and began speaking.

He found himself focusing on Spock while telling the whole thing, feeling at least slightly less mortified at focusing on the Vulcan. He knew the details nearly as intimately as Hikaru did and was about as nonjudgmental as anyone could ever be.

Once Sulu had finished bringing forth his complains and accusations, and then reclaimed his seat beside Kirk, that was when things really got interesting. Abbey and Huely were the two taking the brunt of the accusations, Leo was still absent, so they were called upon to defend themselves.

Abbey was first and he, of course, denied any knowledge of abuse or manipulation of the system to keep Sulu from registering complaints.

“What I saw,” Captain Trenton Abbey insisted, “was that Mister Sulu performed his duties adequately. Mister Jameson’s performance of his duties improved. They functioned adequately, the crew functioned adequately. The personal… tastes… of an Omega’s relationship with their Alpha is not my concern. Mister Sulu agreed to a Bond with the Jameson, what they did on their personal time was not my concern.”

Hikaru clenched his teeth, eyes dropping. That was nearly exactly what he’d always heard or been told those early weeks when he’d still been brave and confident enough to speak up about his concerns. There was a shuffle of movement next to him, the pilot looking over to see Kirk crossing his arms and looking irate. It was oddly comforting to see Jim’s disapproval of Abbey. Some unspoken part of him had been a little worried that the Alpha would side with his fellow captain.

“And when Lt. Sulu arrived for duty with injuries? Are you saying you simply turned a blind eye?” Jeff asked, drawing Hikaru’s attention back to the proceedings.

“Again, that was their personal business.” Abbey frowned, lifting a hand dismissively. “I hardly think it’s my place to judge an Omega, or even anyone, if they like it rough.” Abbey wrinkled his nose, as if even that small statement had been too course for his tastes.

“Isn’t it true, though, that Lt. Sulu approached you with concerns about Jameson?” Jeff posed the question, circling halfway around the captain.

“Yes, it is.”

“And isn’t it true you disregarded those concerns? Not even allowing Sulu, who was then one of your junior officers, to voice his complaint and concern about the actions of Lt. Jameson?”

“I had more important duties to perform than to play mediator between a newly bonded pair.” Abbey snapped out, irritated.

“According to Hikaru’s testimony, he voiced his concerns that Jameson’s friend, your CMO, Huely, had unfairly dismissed his concerns. Jameson and the doctor both outranked Sulu, and with a ship and crew as small as the one you captain, there was no one else for Hikaru to approach to resolve the problem. And you dismiss it without bothering to hear his side?”

It was like he had a reasonable excuse for everything. No, he hadn’t ignored Hikaru, he’d simply insisted that his crew keep personal matters separate from professional matters. No, he hadn’t kept Hikaru from filing complaints, forms were made available but were never submitted. No, he didn’t circumvent ship discipline, he simply exercised leniency with regards to his crew. What happened privately between Jameson and Hikaru wasn’t his business.

Excuse after excuse and Sulu was beginning to worry that Abbey would have an answer for everything. He couldn’t _not_ worry. What if these admirals believed him? Took Abbey’s side over that of some lower ranked Omega?

Huely was no better. Though the doctor quite clearly had no believable excuses for his failure to deliver accurate records of Hikaru’s medical history, a fact that got a few dark looks from the admirals and a smug look from McCoy, he had plenty of excuses when it came to everything else.

“Mister Sulu had always been manipulative.” Huely stated unconcernedly. “See, Jameson was a friend of mine, so I know how the- how Sulu harassed him at the beginning.”

“Let’s assume, for the moment, that something like that is true, just for the sake of argument. That Omega’s tend to be manipulative and prone to exaggeration. Even though that is a pointed negative stereotype that was initiated by a publicly anti-Omega organization.” Jeff began, turning from Huely and facing the Admiral’s gathered for the hearing. “Vulcan’s are known to be impartial and uninfluenced by emotion. Commander Spock has seen and experienced the events from Hikaru’s point of view. If you would allow, I would call upon Commander Spock to testify.”

Spock stood and moved forward at a nod from the lead Admiral. He took the chair Huely vacated, beginning to speak at Jeff’s nod. “Through the process of a mind meld, I was able to share in the Lieutenant’s experiences. Viewed objectively, the signs of abuse and conditioning are clear. He was allowed less time to spend with trusted friends, was at times punished after those times. The same resulted when Lt. Sulu sought help and advice from those in authority. Those he approached either dismissed or actively discouraged repeat attempts.”

That sent a murmur through the gathered admirals, and Sulu hoped that maybe there’d be some justice after all.


	72. Judgememt

Spock had just sat back down again when Hikaru, and the rest of the people gathered for the trial, were made aware of exactly where the third and final man on trial had been. There was a muffled commotion, then the doors to the courtroom were thrown open and a cursing Leo was being manhandled in by two buff security officers.

“We caught him tampering with some flight logs.” One of the security officers explained, giving Leo a short shake to stop the litany of curses coming from the man. “We believe he may have been trying to log an unauthorized flight plan and leave on one of the transport ships.”

“I was _not_!” Leo snapped, glaring at the officer. “I was acting on orders to verify the authorization for a private ship.”

Abbey and Huely shared a look, then Abbey shifted slightly to whisper into their representative’s ear. They had a quick little heated discussion while one of the admirals spoke to Leo about his duty to have reported when ordered for this trial.

Leo, of course, was not at all cooperative. “Why should I show up for some playhouse show of justice and listen to some whiney little Omega complain about someone who was my best friend? And who, _might_ I remind you, **died** in the line of duty and the only thing his family has to remember him by is the coat of honors given to them at his funeral!”

“Admirals.” Abbey’s representative spoke loudly as he stood, drawing the attention of everyone in the room and cutting Leo’s words short. “I think this officer’s actions have shown us who it is that is to blame for the unfortunate incident on the Indiana.”

Leo froze, mouth open in slight shock as he stared.

Hikaru was just as shocked, though slightly more wary. Just what was Abbey playing at? What had he told his lawyer?

“This ‘private ship’ is likely no more than a cover for his intentions to flee, presumably before the trial’s conclusion. He must have known that evidence would come to light to point to his involvement. It is become apparent that, yes, the late Lt. Jameson behaved poorly in concerns to his private relationship to the Omega Sulu.” The lawyer began, receiving a couple affirmative nods from the Admirals at that summary of the evidence thus far. “Given that my client Trenton Abbey has pleaded ignorance of the troubles of mister Sulu, and that Leo has just proclaimed he was close friends with Lt. Jameson, it stands to reason that the one most responsible for preventing any complaints would be him.”

“Wha-!” Leo’s face twisted in an expression of confused rage, but the lawyer continued on without any concern.

“He was Jameson’s best friend, he kept tabs on his Omega, he explained to Doctor Huely that it was all consensual, told him that Hikaru was always causing trouble for Jameson. How he’d seen it happen. All in a successful attempt at keeping the Omega quiet. And he knew this would be proven here, so he tried to run.”

“You damn liar! You think you bastards can pin all this on me?! Huely you son of a bitch, you’re just gonna sit there and let the worthless piece of Omega trash just walk all over you? Then just let me take the fall for everything thing that _you set up_?”

With a snarl curse, Leo broke free of the security, shoving the man away as he snatched the phaser from his belt.

Sulu’s first instinct was to grab for the civilian, dragging Jeff down and out of the line of fire. Unsurprising to Hikaru, Chekov was of the same mind and quickly toppled the metal desk to provide cover, scattering the data padds that had been laying on it.

McCoy dropped as well, narrowly dodging a flash of red phaser fire as he slid next to the other three. The doctor cursed when, instead of taking cover like a normal person and letting the **armed** security stun Leo, Jim leapt towards the man. Damn idiot captain. Not that he was surprised, it was so typically Kirk.

McCoy relaxed when Kirk got a hold of Leo and grabbed the arm that held the phaser. When Spock moved effortlessly behind Leo and grabbed the joint of his neck and shoulder in that damn Vulcan nerve pinch, McCoy stood up and began scanning the room for injuries.

Sulu was asking Jeffery and Chekov if they were alright, and a quick glance showed no sign of injuries when McCoy looked. The admirals were straightening up from where they’d taken cover as well. The other security officers in the room were putting their phasers away and giving Kirk an annoyed look. Jim, of course, looked extremely pleased with himself. McCoy knew that was more from finally getting to punch at least one of the bastards in the face.

One of the admiral’s stepped forward, waving one of the security guards over. “Lt. Commander Leo Aurren is under arrest and is to be taken to the holding cell pending transport back to earth. He will be charged with attempted murder as well as mutiny, falsifying reports, desertion of post, and professional misconduct in the line of duty.” He paused long enough for those security officers to heft up the barely conscious Leo, then looked over at Huely and Abbey. “The two of you will also be escorted to earth where you will face a formal assembly of the Federation court to determine if any further action beyond court-martial is required. Pending the hearing, Mister Huely will be no longer authorized to practice medicine within the Federation. In consideration to the late Lt. Jameson’s family, the council will deliberate on whether or not to amend his personal record. Do any of my colleagues disagree or wish to amend this judgment?”

The admiral stopped at this point, slowly looking over the other’s that were there preceding over this trial. They all nodded in agreement.

After that, things seemed to move in a slow fast forward for Hikaru.

Security escorted Abbey and Huely out.

The Admirals gathered their few things and left.

Sulu was still trying to figure out just _what_ he was feeling as the group parted from Jeffery and headed back to the Enterprise. Chekov was overjoyed, hopping from foot to foot with excitement now that the admirals were far out of sight and he needn’t keep up the decorum. “See Karu, I knew it would be alvight!”

Hikaru forced a laugh and agreed, putting on a smile that he didn’t feel. The nervousness was gone, the worry about somehow being reassigned to a new post, but that fear hadn’t been replaced by the same joy Chekov seemed to have.

Thankfully, Kirk distracted Chekov, the captain putting an arm around the Russian, saying something about their victory, though Sulu wasn’t paying attention. Kirk and Chekov were walking ahead, leading the group as they talked back and forth about how they should celebrate.

Sulu was content to walk behind them, flanked by McCoy and Spock.

It was so odd. Yes, they’d won. Yes, Abbey and Huely were going to have to answer for what they’d let happen, would likely both be discharged from Starfleet. The admiral had basically said as much, and that Huely would probably not be allowed to practice medicine within Starfleet any longer. Leo had been outright arrested thanks to his actions in the courtroom.

But… he didn’t feel any different.

Jameson was still dead, his name and service history likely to remain untouched or marred by what he’d done. And yet Sulu was just as scarred as ever. He still felt nervous around Alpha’s, even these three here who had worked so hard to help him with this case and so much more. Even knowing they were good people, he still couldn’t help the instant reaction to twitch away when one of them pressed too close.

Kirk and Chekov were the happiest right now, all smiles and joy that they had won. Kirk probably was glad that at least some of the corruption had been dealt with, and Hikaru knew Chekov was delighted because of that and the thought that now things would be back the way they used to be. The way they should have been.

Sulu wished he had the same optimism. Wished he could share in their triumphant feeling.

But he didn’t feel any different. And he’d thought, hoped, that he would.

“You okay kid?”

Hikaru jumped slightly when McCoy addressed him, shoulders twitching up defensively by habit. “Uh, yeah…?”

McCoy lifted an eyebrow, not missing how Hikaru’s response was more of a question than a statement. “Uh-huh. So, what’s got you all at odds?”

Sulu let out a slow breath, almost a sigh. Kirk and Chekov were ahead of the little group, but still close enough so that Hikaru wasn’t anxious. McCoy was a good person to ask about this and Hikaru was happy to ask now that he wouldn’t ruin Pav’s good mood by doing so.

Aware of Spock’s presence, but completely okay with including the Vulcan in the conversation, Sulu tried to explain. “I thought I’d be happier. When this whole thing was over. That I’d go back to how I used to be before everything that happened, or that I’d at least feel _something_ different.”

“If it were that simple, you’d have been back to your old self the day Jameson died.” McCoy stated bluntly.

Sulu winced at that, remembering how that day had gone. He could too easily remember the pain of the bond breaking and was certain that if he really tried, he could probably feel an echo of that. Some instinct told him the only way to truly be rid of that would be by forging another pack bond. Not exactly something he ever wanted to go through again.

“I have found that human emotions never follow a logical path. Though the ones who assisted in doing you injustice have been brought to judgement, and the one who wronged you initially is long deceased, it is not unusual to lack that sense of wholeness.” Spock pulled Hikaru from his thoughts, tone somehow calming for all it’s neutrality. “In cases such as these, time and support are what makes a difference.”

McCoy rolled his eyes, because he still hated agreeing with the Vulcan. “You’ll wake up one day and realize you’re actually back to who you want to be, jus’ don’t except it to happen overnight.”

Hikaru quirked an eyebrow at him after that explanation, but he supposed it made sense. After all, if he took a look at himself now and compared it to a couple months ago, he definitely saw a difference.

Sure, he was still nervous around the Alphas, but at least he wasn’t so completely terrified of simply being in their general vicinity.

He let the subject drop as Chekov and Kirk turned towards them, Pavel all but bouncing with excitement. Somehow, the Russian had convinced Kirk they should all go out for a celebratory drink. Kirk, in turn, convinced McCoy and Spock, and Hikaru didn’t have the heart to turn down Pavel’s puppy eyes.

He never should have taught the kid that trick back at the academy.

Sulu chuckled lowly to himself, tagging along in the middle of the group. He didn’t mind going out, honestly wanted to feel happy and enjoy the victory as well. Maybe if he stuck close enough to Pavel, that hyper exuberance might just rub off on him.


	73. Endings and Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some undetermined time later…

McCoy had just finished gathering up some reports from his team to review when Sulu wandered into the sickbay. A quick glance over the pilot didn’t show any injuries, though he did look a little twitchy. McCoy fiddled with the data padds for a moment, knowing that if Sulu was wanting to approach him it would be easier for the Omega here in the middle of sickbay rather than his office, which was where he’d been about to go.

Hikaru had become more confident in the weeks following the trial, but there were still many normal things that the Asian had a habit of not doing. Like approaching McCoy or Kirk with personal concerns when he thought they were busy. Especially when they were in a location he considered to be their territory.

When Sulu made his way over, it was at a painfully hesitant pace. It slowed to a snail’s pace as he drew closer, and McCoy took it upon himself to turn and acknowledge the pilot. “Mister Sulu. What can I do for you?”

That got the pilot to relax a fraction, even flashing a grateful smile for a short moment. He still looked uncertain, however, biting his lip nervously and casting a glance around the room. “C’mon.” McCoy beckoned, heading to his office. “You can tell me what’s buggin ya while I load these reports for review.”

McCoy sat down at his desk to start compiling the reports. He glanced up at Sulu as he closed the door behind him. Whatever was eating him, Hikaru didn’t appear to be worried about being alone with him. That was good. The pilot wasn’t exactly pacing, but the kid certainly didn’t appear to be able to sit still.

“I was just with Kirk a couple hours ago.” Sulu began, and McCoy lifted an eyebrow at the near defensive tone. He didn’t comment, just let Sulu continue speaking. “It was fine, like always, and he had to go to meet with the commodore before we disembark. And Pav’s off helping Scotty with some emergency down in engineering.”

Sulu stopped there, still pacing without pacing, and McCoy looked up from his work. “And?”

“And I just can’t sit still.” Sulu pointed out the obvious, sounding frustrated. “Normally after hanging out with Alpha, Jim I mean, I feel fine. And if I _am_ fidgety, I’ll go hang out with Pav, curl up and watch a movie or something. But he’s busy, and I just... I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Most likely you just need some contact.” McCoy explained clinically. “It varies from individual to individual, obviously, but for the most part all Omega’s need a certain amount of physical contact. It’s more effective with an Alpha, but most anyone will suffice.”

Sulu considered that, head tilted slightly. He’d never really thought about it like that. It made sense. He’d always felt more at ease after curling up with Pavel in the past. And the one time he’d really been close to Kirk here on the Enterprise, he’d woken up the next morning feeling almost like his old self.

“So, doctor’s order are… what, that I need a cuddle?” Sulu asked.

“Basically.” McCoy stated bluntly, pushing his chair back and turning it to face Sulu fully and holding out a hand in an unspoken offer. He knew Kirk was busy, and so was Chekov (Sulu had just said so), and Bones was fairly certain Sulu didn’t have any other options available other than waiting. McCoy didn’t think the kid wanted to wait, otherwise he wouldn’t have come here. He might not be the cuddliest person on the ship, but McCoy wasn’t going to make the kid suffer just because he felt awkward about it.

Hikaru hesitated for a moment before moving forward. He was nervous, but surprised himself with how unafraid he was. McCoy was offering, not demanding, and Hikaru was certain there would be no hard feelings or repercussions if he were to turn the Alpha down. Besides, McCoy had only ever helped before, so it was unlikely he’d take advantage now.

Sulu hadn’t expected the offer, didn’t know what it really entailed, but he hated feeling so off balance. He’d dealt with it as long as he could, and ultimately had wound up here. Whatever might happen (not that he honestly thought anything _would_ ), he decided it couldn’t be anywhere near as bad as what he’d dealt with before.

Sulu took McCoy’s hand, letting the Alpha pull him closer. It felt awkward. Hikaru was nervous and tense, letting McCoy move him forward until he was sitting facing the doctor on his lap, then pressed into an odd parody of a hug.

“Just be a Koala.” McCoy advised, shifting the chair and typing at his computer again. “It helps.”

Sulu frowned to himself at those words, scoffing as the picture of the animal came to him. A koala. He could work with that. It helped, too, that McCoy wasn’t really paying attention to him, continuing to work like everything was normal. Demanding nothing.

Incrementally, the tension bled out of him and Sulu was able to relax fully. McCoy was right, it did help. Besides the last two times with Kirk and McCoy, when he’d been out of his mind with fear or worry, the last time he’d cuddled close to an Alpha like this was when he was a child. He’d always been affectionate, even before he’d presented, and had found himself curled into the Alpha’s chest when his cousin/uncle/aunt’s brother’s twin (he wasn’t sure how they’d been related, only that they were) had come to visit.

It was quiet in McCoy’s office, the bustle of activity outside a comforting background noise. Hikaru could let his mind drift easily, especially when some of the tension left the Alpha he was laying on. He closed his eyes, cuddling closer to the Alpha and letting himself drown in the soothing scent.

It was difficult working around Sulu at first, though McCoy managed to find a rhythm eventually. Not that it lasted long. After a while he turned the screen off, abandoning work and just leaning back with a low sigh. Sulu let out a concerned murmur, cuddling closer, and McCoy wrapped an arm over the Omega’s back as he closed his eyes.

He’d forgotten how _nice_ it was to have an Omega around. Sulu was boneless laying on him, like a human blanket, and McCoy couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so relaxed. Hikaru was far down in his headspace, and the scent of comfortable and trusting Omega was like balm to the doctor’s frayed nerves.

There was a knock on the door and Bones opened his eyes to see Jim waiting outside the office. Jeez, just how long had he been lazing here?

He felt a curl of pleasure in his chest that Sulu hadn’t budged further than shifting to scent him. It was a deep show of trust, the Omega relying on the Alpha to assess the visitor. McCoy wasn’t worried or concerned, so neither was Sulu.

“Come in.” Bones called out to Kirk, tone lacking the usual gruffness. It was impossible to even pretend to be irritated with the Omega wrapped so compliant and trusting around him.

Kirk came in, closing the door behind him as he smiled at the two of them. His tone was lightly teasing, but McCoy could see the sparkle in his eyes at how at ease Sulu was at the moment. Kirk might not know all that much about Omega’s, but it still felt right that one would be draping themselves over others in the pack. Even if there technically wasn’t that pack bond between them all.

“Glad to see you relaxing, for once. I might be a little jealous, even.”

McCoy closed his eyes, jaw clenching in frustration and irritation at Jim’s poor choice of words. Damn it, he _knew_ better.

Sulu had gone tense as soon as the Kirk had mentioned jealousy, the pilot pressed close enough to McCoy that he’d been able to feel the Omega’s heart skip and race. Hikaru dragged in a startled breath, and McCoy knew that wouldn’t help because there was no way Sulu was going to miss the irritation in his scent.

Sure enough, quick as anything, Sulu was standing and backing away from the both of them. He was pale and starting to shake, his eyes wide and locked onto Kirk. “S-sorry, sorry, Alpha. I didn’t mean it like that. I-I w-wasn’t…”

“No, it’s okay.” Kirk cut him off, looking completely mortified. His eyes flickered over to McCoy, the captain blanching at the furious glare his was receiving. If he didn’t want to suffer through an exceptionally long-winded and furious lecture, he needed to fix this now.

“I’m not upset, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. Bones just looked so relaxed I couldn’t help teasing him.” Kirk rambled, scrambling to reassure Sulu. He only felt guiltier, somehow, when he noticed the way Hikaru stood, angling his body so that the bond scar on his neck was further away and hidden. He’d really gotten used to the Omega _not_ cowering away from him, and it hurt for him to do it again. “You can go to whoever you want, alright? I won’t do anything.”

Hikaru kept his eyes on Kirk, heartbeat slowing as his muscles slowly unwound. He’d been worried about jealous Alphas ever since he’d found out there was more than one aboard the Enterprise. He wished he could call it irrational, because he knew both McCoy and Kirk were different, but considering what had happened last time he made his Alpha jealous… he figured his concern/fear was justified.

All he saw in the captain, however, was guilt and regret. No anger at having caught his Omega, because on paper that’s what Sulu was, with another Alpha. Even McCoy, who was a tightly knotted string of tense irritation that was headed towards anger, wasn’t directing that towards him. It was a little difficult to get his head around, Sulu’s thoughts and reasoning felt slow after having gone down so deep earlier, but it looked to Hikaru like _he_ wasn’t the one in trouble here.

Sulu straightened, gaze dropping as he rubbed one arm awkwardly. His mind was clearer now, even though he was still jittery from the sudden shift up. “Sor-“

“No.” McCoy interrupted him, causing Hikaru to jump in surprise and look over at where McCoy was sitting with his arms crossed now. The doctor was sporting a scowl now, continuing to talk before Sulu had a chance to panic. “You shouldn’t be apologizing. _He_ should have known better.”

Hikaru looked over at Kirk, who had the grace to look ashamed of himself.

“Yeah, I know, Bones.” Kirk said, tone guilty but the slightest bit defensive. “I said I was sorry.”

It was so utterly ridiculous. McCoy sitting with his arms crossed, scowling at Kirk. Jim standing there with a mix of guilt, repentance, and defiance. Hikaru almost wanted to laugh, but he pressed it down to the barest smile as he shifted marginally closer to Kirk. “I think he’s going to ground you.”

Kirk was confused for a moment, looking over at Sulu, before catching the conspiratorial lean of his posture. The small smile on Sulu’s face threatened to become a smirk. Jim’s guilty conscious eased up at the sight. Sulu was making jokes. Sulu was making jokes and it was all okay.

McCoy watched the two of them with narrowed eyes, unsure what was going on up until they both turned to look his way. He groaned loudly at the twin expressions of mischief, burying his face in his hands. Damn it, this could not be happening.

“What do you say, dad, am I grounded?”

There was choked off snort of laughter and McCoy didn’t need to look up to know it was Sulu. He should have seen this coming. Pavel had talked about Sulu from the academy days and the pilot’s sense of humor had been featured in many a story.

“Just get outta here. The _both_ of you.”

 

 

“Things **end**. That's all. **Everything ends** , and it's always sad. But everything **begins** again too, and that's... always _happy_.” – The Doctor, _Doctor Who: The Return of Doctor Mysterio_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a good run guys. Look out for maybe additional chapters, not exactly a sequel, but maybe a recuperation epilogue thing? And there is certainly going to be an alternate timeline edition where… Well. I’ll let that be a surprise when it comes out.


End file.
